


Strong Heart

by pandorasv13



Series: Hearts [3]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, LIKE SUPER LONG, M/M, Very long, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:14:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 48
Words: 104,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12382542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: 3 Years.One year with a soft heart…Ignorant and gentle,One year with a lost heart…Pained and confused,One year with a strong heart…





	1. Chapter 1

_Kyuhyun,_

_It’s been a long time, huh?_

_I still remember when I first saw you. Honestly, I thought you were going to be some kind of arrogant little bastard. And hey, guess what I was right about? But I’ll hand it to you, you don’t hesitate. That’s probably the only good thing about you – aside from being some sort of freakish math nerd._

_If you had hesitated way back when, I bet I would’ve never been punched that summer. You’re probably scoffing at me right now. I don’t blame you. After all, the biggest prick of all time is telling you that you’re a bad guy. Seriously, when I think back to what kind of shit I caused you, I wanna ask the you back then to punch me until I blacked out. (Trust me I know how much force it takes to knock someone out.)_

_Right, this isn’t why I’m writing to you though._

_I’ve always felt guilty for taking him away and just…never telling you what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to brag or rub it in your face because from what I’ve seen you did pretty well for a reform school junkie. The reason I’m writing to you is…well, I want to say thank you._

_Back then, the words were on the tip of my tongue but I chickened out and just left everything as it was. As you can see, I couldn’t let it go._

_That’s why I want you to know how thankful I am. Since then, we’ve stayed together. I never thought I would really find someone to spend the rest of my life with but seven years have passed and every morning when I wake up next to him…it’s like falling all over again._

_We never adopted but we do have two dogs and I guess they’re just as good as kids. I hope you like the pictures I attached. They were taken a few weeks ago._

_Hmm…what else is there? Oh! We bought a house a couple of months ago. He was so picky but we ended up moving to the suburbs. It’s understandable though. I’m pretty positive he’s preparing for kids or something, not that I mind. I hear that little chubsters are kind of cute._

_I hope you’re doing well too. And again, over the years I’ve come across some magazines about you. Can’t believe that’s where you ended up! Kids like us can only dream of ending up places like that! But I’m happy for you. And he is too._

_Actually, if he didn’t break down crying every time he tried to write you a letter then the person scribbling these words down wouldn’t be me._

_You’ve got our address now so don’t hesitate to contact us. Our phone number is on the back of the picture too._

_He’d really like to see you again. (My personal opinion is he wants to apologize for leaving without a word but don’t tell him I said that.) I wouldn’t mind seeing your famous, arrogant self again either._

_Bring that cutie your dating too! Yes, I read the articles about you. Don’t judge, brat._

_With lots of sincerity,_

_Eunhyuk_

_Old Man,_

_You did cause me a whole lot of problems._

_It was a long time ago though, so don’t go dwelling all by your lonesome. Pathetic._

_If you want to meet up, then come to my wedding._

_I’ll be waiting._

_Kyuhyun_

_P.S. We’re not dating. Dating is for people who have a chance of breaking up._

_Oh, and don’t call him cute._

 

Eunhyuk’s mouth twitched as he stared down at the letter. “What a little…”

“Don’t call him anything mean now,” Zhoumi scolded, smiling and fluffing their new puppy’s soft brown hair, “He just invited us to his wedding.”

The older of the two rolled his eyes, tossing the letter back onto the table. He circled around the couch, flopping down on the cushions, one arm draping around Zhoumi’s slim shoulders. “Fine, fine,” he sighed, patting his knee in an attempt to get Choco to jump up. The little dog listened obediently, snuggling into his owner’s lap. Eunhyuk yawning, rubbing the dog’s head, “I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful wedding.”

“Well it should be,” Zhoumi murmured, “after all they’ve been through as much as us…if not more.”

“Who is he marrying again?”

Zhoumi smiled down at the puppy, saying, “Oh his name is…”


	2. Chapter 2

_7 Years Earlier…_

 

“Well…thanks,” YoungSaeng ruffled Ryeowook’s hair in the late January chill. He carried a single bag of belongings, slung over one shoulder. A warm jacket was zipped all the way up, keeping the graduate safe from the seasonal cold.

Ryeowook flattened his mussed hair, looking up at his smiling ex-roommate. “For what? If anything, I should be thanking you. After all, who else taught me so many things?” he grinned at the slightly queasy look on YoungSaeng’s face.

“Let’s not talk about that,” he muttered, looking away flushed, “I think it would be better if we forgot about all of the stuff we did.”

“But you were my first—”

“—would you shut up?” YoungSaeng cried, slamming his hand over Ryeowook’s mouth. “Like I said, let’s not talk about it,” he looked exhausted and much older those days, “I don’t wanna get fired before I even start working.”

Ryeowook blinked and moved the hand away from his mouth. “Oh, that’s right. You were hired to be Henry’s personal bodyguard, huh?” When the older boy nodded, a fresh grin broke over Ryeowook’s face as he added, “I didn’t even know violinists needed bodyguards…let alone a bodyguard who is in love with—”

“—you’re just spouting whatever you want now that I’m leaving, aren’t you brat?” YoungSaeng snapped, turning bright red even in the rather dreary morning. He huffed and turned away, daring to stalk off to where a sleek black car was waiting for him. But then he stopped and looked back, “It’s a good chance for me, right?”

“In every sense,” Ryeowook assured, waving goodbye, “tell Henry to come visit sometime!” Ever since the beach incident, the violinist’s manager had pulled him from the school completely, taking the courageous boy who saved him along – not that a reform school junkie would argue with being offered such a nice job.

YoungSaeng nodded, truly leaving this time.

Ryeowook watched him disappear into the back of the car, closing the door behind him. There were others departing all around him, underclassmen bidding farewell to all of the now truly gone third years.

Looking around, he recognized few students in the throngs of people. All of the new first years had arrived that day as the straggling graduates finally departed. And then a sad thought occurred to Ryeowook.

He hadn’t lied a month ago. The world keeps turning when you’re not watching.

Among those bewildered, guarded faces Ryeowook could see himself. He could see that first day he arrived with Kyuhyun. They had pulled up to the expansive academy and joined the stiffly strutting first years in their march to orientation. Yet, here Ryeowook was – two years later – hosting the orientation rather than attending it.

Somewhere along the way, he had been passed the torch of Student Government President by Choi Siwon. What’s more, he was a third year. He was among the oldest and hopefully wisest of students. Where had the years gone?

What had happened to him and Sungmin?

What had happened to him and Kyuhyun?

Suddenly, Ryeowook was feeling nearly as old as YoungSaeng had looked before leaving. He was still trying to decide if it was a good or bad emotion.

***

Eunhyuk sneaked up behind his lover, arms enveloping the small waist. “You sure you don’t want to find someone to take it over?” he remarked, leaning over Zhoumi’s neck to look around the cleared out facility.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” the dark haired boy replied, sighing softly. There were so many memories in the space. If he strained his eyes he could still see the place where he first met Kyuhyun, the first time they danced together…and if he squinted even more, he could see the night Eunhyuk saved him from crushing Key.

A pang of guilt hit Zhoumi but he shook it away. His memories were just that, memories. To keep the place around just so he could hold on longer was ridiculous. If someone else ever found the Kangin’s Underground in the future, then they could reestablish it. Besides, there were plenty of horrible memories in the illegal – legal (?) – club. Zhoumi shuddered at the remembrance.

“Are you cold?” Eunhyuk asked, turning the younger boy around and cupping his sloping face.

Zhoumi smiled up at his lover. “Your haircut looks nice. You look less boyish,” he laughed softly, brushing his fingertips across the still blond locks.

The latter frowned, eyes rolling up in an attempt to look at the hair, “It’s freezing without more hair.”

“That’s how it works, isn’t it?” he grinned, pressing his lips against Eunhyuk’s gently, feeling the older boy’s arms drop and tug him closer. Zhoumi melted into the embrace, wondering just how his final moments on the high school campus ended up in such a shabby place. Then again… “We met around this time of year didn’t we?” he prompted.

Eunhyuk nodded slowly, eyes flickering with nostalgia. “Just like a movie.”

“Except a really risqué movie,” Zhoumi shrugged when he saw the blonde raise an eyebrow, “I mean if you add the entire adventure, it really isn’t something we could tell our kids.”

“ _Kids?_ Since when did I have kids?” he stammered, one hand moving to press against Zhoumi’s slight abdomen, “I swore you were a dude the last time we had sex.”

Zhoumi stomped down on Eunhyuk’s foot, watching with satisfaction as he crumpled and staggered away. “I guess I’ll just find someone else. I’m sure there are plenty of other guys in the University division.” He stalked towards the door, leaving behind a blubbering Eunhyuk.

The blonde quickly climbed the stone steps, hurrying after his departing lover. He turned back to shut the trap door and paused, a strangely somber emotion rushing through his adrenaline filled veins. He loosened the metal beam holding the door open. It didn’t seem right that he was the one ending things. From the very beginning he had always imagined his best friend right beside him as it happened. Instead, here Eunhyuk was, closing the door by himself – with a sore foot no less.

One more tug collapsed the metal support and the heavy entryway slammed shut, dirt and dust shooting up. Eunhyuk gently tapped the fake grass covering the trap door. “KUG is really done…,” he whispered. Standing upright, he took a photo of the hidden entrance, sending it via text message to Kangin.

A moment passed in the cold before Eunhyuk received a reply. He quickly opened it, grinning at what he received. There was a photo of Kangin and Leeteuk sitting inside a café. They were bundled up and smiling at the phone’s camera. In the back Eunhyuk could see snow drifting down around a rather smoggy big city. The caption read: _Good riddance. That stupid club is finally shut down! Oh, and Teukie is doing well, just wish he wasn’t wearing gloves in the picture._

Eunhyuk titled his head. Why would it matter if Leeteuk was wearing gloves? Was there something special about his hands? Sighing, Eunhyuk closed the phone and headed off through the forest. He could always ask Kangin what that meant some other time.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The first years gawked up at Ryeowook. Most of them appeared incapable of keeping their faces straight. Perhaps foster kids were becoming tamer? Ryeowook wasn’t positive but hopefully that was the case. That would mean less work for him and StudGov.

After being in office for barely a month, he had been buried in reports to fill out, school events to plan, and a number of trips to sign off on for all of the third years. Why did they need so many overnight trips anyway? Everyone knew it would just be partying and possibly drinking.

Ryeowook turned back to the podium and smiled at the collected body. There was a speech in front of him but he had long since memorized it. Public speaking seemed to be one of his favorite things to do those days. It was rather easy and best of all it gave him a chance to tell others about what he had learned. Spreading knowledge was oddly invigorating, perhaps that was the reason Teukie-hyung always spoke so much – he wanted to teach people all of the things that had made him grow. The same thing could probably be said of Siwon…but no one particularly liked or disliked his presidency. After all, following up Teukie-hyung was just futile.

“Hello, my name is Kim Ryeowook,” he began, “I’ll be your Student Government President for the remainder of this year. I’m supposed to tell you about the academy and all of the things you can learn here, but most of you can figure that out along the way, right?” A few heads nodded and Ryeowook went on, “More importantly, this is what you need to know.”

He cleared his throat, saying, “Being here isn’t like being in a cage. You may be here to reform yourselves but there’s something more valuable to learn. What all of you experience in this first year could very well shape the rest of your career here. Don’t be afraid of change. Don’t run away because at this academy, there really is nowhere to run. Here, you have to face everything. If you try to run, you’ll end up running right into a mistake.” Ryeowook smiled then, “But mistakes can be good too. Make as many mistakes as you can while you’re a student at this academy because when you’re trapped there’s nothing to do but make amends. Don’t try to live a perfect student life. There’s nothing you can learn from that. So…have fun, get mad, be stupid, be smart, be…everything, I suppose.” He picked up his speech, folding the paper and slipping it into a pocket. “If you ever need anything, I’m always around and your dorm advisors are always around as well.”

There was soft applause as Ryeowook bowed to the students and told them, “You can go explore the campus now if you’d like.” He waved goodbye as voices started filling the room and students exited.

“You’re getting really good at giving speeches,” Sungmin remarked, coming up behind his friend.

Ryeowook spun around, smiling. “Minnie! How long have you been there?” he asked, stepping away from the podium.

“A while,” Sungmin stated, “I was waiting for you to finish so we could go check out the Honors Dorm.”

He had almost forgotten about the living changes! Ryeowook hurried towards the exit, excited to get to the Honors Dorm. They were moving in later than usual due to some sort of conflict among Choi Siwon’s board members. But now it was nearly February and all of the new tenants would be staking claims in the intimate building. Ryeowook hadn’t seen the list of people yet, but at least Sungmin, Mir, and Dongwoon would be living with him.

Dongwoon had found his way to the Vice President’s seat, Sungmin had found his way to the Secretary chair, and Mir was ranked in the Top 5 for academics of the school. As for how Ryeowook made his way to the Presidency? Perhaps it was because he was cute – he would never understand.

“Can you believe where we are now?” Sungmin sighed, draping one arm around Ryeowook’s shoulders as they walked.

Cold air tousled the latter’s hair as the truth dawned on him for the second time that day. “No…I really can’t.” He could barely believe what they had been doing only half a year ago. Every time the memories surfaced, Ryeowook felt like bringing a shovel to his own head. Yes, yes, regretting was bad but sometimes you couldn’t help it. After all of that, Ryeowook still had too many amends to make.

“But all of us are here now so you don’t have to worry,” Sungmin said softly, squeezing his friend’s arm, “I won’t leave you alone…not this time around.”

Ryeowook felt heat coloring his pale cheeks. “T-Thanks,” he mumbled back, “but you don’t have to worry so much anymore. I can take care of myself these days.” A smile drifted across his features, “I really can.”

Slight hurt flickered over Sungmin’s face. “You can’t push me out one year and then push me even further out the next year!”

“Sorry,” Ryeowook laughed, leaning into the warmth of his friend, “actually Minnie there’s something I wanted to talk to you about later…”

“Huh? What is it?” the black haired boy swung around, stopping Ryeowook in his tracks.

“Later, later,” he insisted, pushing at Sungmin so he could climb the steps of their new dormitory, “we should go find out room assignments.”

“What? You don’t know them?” the taller boy’s eyes widened a bit, “Didn’t you make them? I thought the StudGov President was also the RA.”

Ryeowook turned the front door’s handle, pushing in. “I was going to but then Siwon-hyung told me that he already did all of that for us. I’m not sure why though…,” he trailed off as he took in the vastly classier lounging area. If being smart and/or outgoing gave you such nice benefits, then why weren’t more people trying to be those things?

“Maybe he was just being nice,” Sungmin offered.

They found a pinned up list of names and room assignments and quickly started scanning, respectively. Ryeowook caught sight of his name, eyes darting over to the room number and then back for his roommate. Hopefully it was Sungmin or Mir – even Dongwoon would be nice.

But then everything was disappearing around him, leaving only white space and the printed black name. In what world, in what _sane_ world, would that happen?

“Mir and Dongwoon are roommates,” Sungmin remarked happily, “they’re really lucky! Oh…do you know who this is…,” he looked over to see Ryeowook staring silently at the paper, eyes trained on a very specific spot.

Sungmin leaned over trying to figure out what had stunned his friend so badly…

**Room 4 _Kim Ryeowook           Cho Kyuhyun_**

***

 

“Please switch with me!” Ryeowook begged one of the boys sitting in the lounge.

The third year blinked several times, confused by the urgency of the President. “U-Uh, why?” He set his book down, eyeing Ryeowook with uncertainty.

“Well I really don’t get along with Cho Kyuhyun—”

At the sound of that name, the boy put his hand up, head shaking no. “Sorry but all of us have problems with him. He’s so…scary,” a shudder rolled through his body and he went back to reading his book, “really sorry but I think you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

Sungmin returned Ryeowook’s panicked gaze, pityingly. “C’mon, there must be someone willing to switch, right?” His eyes lit up then and he pulled Ryeowook up the staircase.

“W-Where are we going?” Ryeowook stuttered, tripping on the last step to the second floor.

“Mir would help us right? After all, he’s got no problems with that Hound as far as I know,” Sungmin stated, grinning at the flood of relief on Ryeowook’s face.

They reached a closed door at the end of the hall marked Room 6. Sungmin knocked loudly, bouncing up and down in anticipation. The last thing he wanted was to see Ryeowook anywhere near Kyuhyun. The mere thought made him cringe and heat up with anger. Letting go of the past was part of moving on…

Mir appeared in the now open doorway, his glasses perched on his nose. Behind their friend, they could see stacks and stacks of books scattered across a desk. He was always studying, huh? “What’s going on?” Mir questioned, looking rather confused.

“Can we switch roommates?” Ryeowook blurted with eyes large and hopeful.

“Sure, I don’t mind,” he replied so casually Sungmin had to pause.

The black haired boy caught Mir’s arm before he could turn around to gather his things. “Wait, why are you agreeing so easily?”

Mir shrugged, “I don’t care who my roommate is.” He, of course, couldn’t say that this was the perfect opportunity to avoid his new boyfriend’s wrath. Yes, let the church bells ring, the birds sing, and the wind chimes twinkle!

Taemin had agreed to dating him – exclusively, a point Mir made certain to make. The best part was, it truly felt like Taemin cared…the same way Mir cared about him. You wouldn’t get angry over someone unless you liked them right? Taemin’s anger over Dongwoon surely meant he was finally starting to see Mir as more than some fuck buddy.

Just as he was about to start gathering books, a tall figure came up behind Sungmin and Ryeowook, slipping into the room and catching Mir’s wrist. “What are you doing?” Dongwoon inquired warily, gaze locked on his roommate’s widened eyes.

“I-I was going to switch r-rooms with Ryeowook,” he explained shaking his arm weakly.

Dongwoon grimaced, turning back to look at the desperate pair of boys on the other side of the threshold. Momentary pity passed through Dongwoon’s eyes but then he was shrugging and pulling Mir closer to himself. “Sorry kids,” he said to Ryeowook and Sungmin, “Mir’s staying right here.”

Then the door was kicked shut in their faces.

Ryeowook turned to Sungmin. “Are they together…?”

“I swore Taemin was somehow involved,” Sungmin muttered, sighing and shaking his head, “Okay, now what do we do? Everyone else is too scared to room with him.”

“…I’m not sure,” Ryeowook responded, turning away from the door. He was still trying to understand how this could’ve happened. Siwon surely didn’t know about their past so was it mere coincidence that they ended up in the same room? But…what sort of coincidence was that?

Sungmin took his friend’s hand. “Hey, if it gets really bad you can always come and sleep with me,” he said earnestly, gently tightening his hold on Ryeowook’s chilly fingers.

“Thank you,” he smiled half heartedly. There was no way to blame Sungmin for giving up. What else could they do? No one would switch – with good reason too. Ryeowook frowned, leaning back against the white railing across from the second floor rooms. “I just want to know what Siwon-hyung was thinking when he made these rooming assignments.”

Sungmin thought for a moment and then exhaled loudly. “Maybe he was thinking about diversity?” At Ryeowook’s confusion, Sungmin went on, “Like, my roommate is from the science department but I’m from StudGov. And Dongwoon is from StudGov but his roommate is from the academic top five percentile. So…maybe it really just happened that the StudGov President ended up rooming with the head of the Mathematics Team.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit _too_ unlikely?” Ryeowook mumbled, swinging their entwined hands absently.

Sungmin shrugged, not wanting to say what he was thinking. _Destiny…_

 

***

 

“Why did you do that?” Mir questioned after settling back into his desk chair.

Dongwoon rolled his eyes, flopping down on his bed. “Isn’t that obvious Mir?” His gaze halted on the curious boy, watching as a pink color tinted Mir’s cheeks.

“…I-I’m dating someone already,” he said softly, internally jumping for joy at the words.

The handsome boy lying on top of blankets and pillows smirked. “That little girl? I hardly think that counts as a lover.”

“ _He_ not ‘that’,” Mir muttered, unable to keep the annoyance from his voice, “and Taemin is…just fine for me,” he stifled a smile, idly scribbling some notes down on paper. Mir turned a page of his history textbook, beginning to jot down the title of the new chapter.

Dongwoon rolled onto his side so as to more clearly see the other boy’s turned away figure, “Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?” he replied, still reading the long page of text.

“What’s so special about him?”

Mir paused, considering the question. Could he even answer something like that? Was it possible to say what exactly you loved about a person? He leaned back in the wooden chair, thoughtfully. Perhaps that was a better use of his time – what made him love Taemin? A light blush dusted his features as the words echoed in his mind. _Love…?_ No way. Or…maybe that was possible…he wasn’t sure.

Suddenly, a shadow was hanging over Mir and his head shot up. Dongwoon’s eyes peered down at him, fair hair darkened by the play of lights in their room. One arm was outstretched, supporting itself on an open grammar book, the other hand pressing down on the back of Mir’s chair. “Are you gonna answer me?” Dongwoon’s voice was quiet – sweet enough to make the seated boy’s heart beat faster.

“…Well…I don’t know how,” he briefly met the other one’s gaze before turning away again, “…to answer something like that.”

Dongwoon nodded to himself, lips pressing into a line. “Alright,” he grunted, pushing off of the table and striding back to where his book bag rested on a desk.

“Where are you going?” Mir asked quickly, half standing up from his seat.

The taller boy slung the bag over his shoulder and walked towards the door. “I have afternoon classes. Don’t forget there’s club today,” he reminded before disappearing through the door, leaving it unlocked.

Mir sighed, dropping his head down on the notebook. Why did it bother him so much how Dongwoon was feeling? Ah, it must’ve been because he was such a great person – aside from all of the flirting and rudeness towards Taemin.

***

Minho kissed Key once more before saying goodbye and closing the door to the dorm room. When he turned back around, Taemin was smirking at him, perched on the edge of a bed. “What is it?” Minho growled, annoyed at the look being directed at him.

“Nothing~,” Taemin replied, shaking his long hair out before retying it away from his face. “I just thought you said you’d never get back together with Key-hyung.”

“Did I say that?” he mumbled, trying to find some sort of distraction, “so how are things going with that Mir kid? You guys have been dating for a few months right?”

Taemin nodded slightly, seemingly bored with the conversation. “But I don’t get the big deal about being exclusive. He was so serious and I ended up agreeing.” He sighed and crossed his arms, “I can’t believe I haven’t done anything…with anyone but him.”

“Oh? How does being faithful feel?” Minho teased, sitting down on the opposing bed.

“It’s a little…dull,” he confessed, almost looking guilty for saying those words, “I mean, being with him isn’t boring or anything. I just don’t like being so confined, y’know what I’m talking about? Isn’t that the reason you broke up with Key way back when?”

A strained expression twisted Minho’s face. “Sort of…but are you sure you’re not just making up excuses?”

“What are you talking about?” Taemin looked genuinely confused, brows knitted.

“Instead of feeling confined,” Minho spoke carefully, each word separate from the next, “aren’t you just afraid? You’ve always been afraid of getting close to people and here comes a little puppy that barks and cuddles up next to you.”

Taemin glared at a space across the room, refusing to look at his long-time friend. “If that’s true, then you’re doing the exact opposite.” He scoffed and stood, “The only reason you got back with Key is because you can’t get Sungmin to see you.”

“Hey, don’t turn this on me—!”

The pretty boy held up a hand, taking his phone out and answering it. “Hey, sexy~!” he greeted, smiling in an almost strained way.

Minho rolled his eyes.

“What? You have club?” Taemin’s voice faltered a bit, fingers twitching. “You said we could do something tonight…mm…yeah, okay I get it….It’s fine don’t worry about it….” His eyes abruptly widened and he snapped into the phone, “That bastard Dongwoon is going to be there isn’t he? …No. You’re not allowed to go!”

Minho stifled a sigh, heading towards the door. He had tried to power through one of their arguments before, but soon enough he realized it could go on for hours.

 

He entered the Dining Hall, the growls of his stomach having forced him there. Dinner service was already halfway through so the hall should’ve been clearing out a bit.

“Minho!” He turned his head, seeing Ryeowook waving at him. A smile crept across his face at the enthusiasm. It was nice to know the kid was clean and healthy. Even though several months had already passed the memory would never fade.

Sitting across from Ryeowook was Sungmin who twisted around in his seat to look at Minho. Their eyes locked for a moment before both of them were looking away. As for why, Minho had no idea. What was he ashamed of? It wasn’t like Taemin was right…maybe.

Ryeowook beckoned him over and Minho grudgingly nodded, coming over to them. “I haven’t spoken to you in a long while,” Ryeowook remarked, beaming at the still standing boy, “We were about to get something to eat. Do you want to join us?”

“Sure,” Minho answered as casually as he could.

“I wish Mir were here,” Ryeowook mumbled once all of them were once again seated and eating dinner. He stirred his drink, eyes following the spiral flow of the iced tea. “Is he with Taemin?”

Sungmin also glanced at Minho for a reply. The latter shrugged, swallowing the food in his mouth and saying, “Last time I saw Taemin he was arguing with Mir over the phone.”

“Was it about Dongwoon?” Ryeowook guessed, thinking back on that morning’s oddly possessive scene.

“Yeah…how’d you know?” Minho took a sip of his water, confusion filling his dark eyes.

Sungmin answered for him, fork twirling slightly above the plate, “We tried to get Mir to trade rooms with Wookie but then Dongwoon came along and refused to let Mir leave their room.”

“They’re roommates?” The handsome boy almost choked, coughing painfully as tears rimmed his eyes. Ryeowook patted his back kindly, anxiousness written all over his face. “Shit…,” Minho groaned in a low voice, wincing at the stinging in his throat, “Taemin is gonna be pissed as fucking hell.”

“So they are dating!” Ryeowook exclaimed, grinning.

Minho nodded uneasily. The question was _how long would they last?_


	4. Chapter 4

“Huh…Mir never showed up,” Sungmin mumbled, looking around the mostly empty Tech Shop. Ryeowook was hovering around the lounging area drumming his fingers against a slanted wooden table.

Dongwoon came up beside Sungmin, “What’s up with him?” He pointed his chin at the lonesome boy who now appeared to be attempting to mend the ripped couch cushion.

“He doesn’t want to go back to the dorms,” the black haired boy explained, “his roommate will be home…so yeah.”

A look of bewilderment passed over Dongwoon’s face before he shook his head tiredly and started off towards the exit. “I’m going back first then,” a dark smile touched his lips, “a certain someone needs to get taught a lesson for skipping club.”

Sungmin flinched at the tone of voice, praying Mir wasn’t home to meet the wrathful boy. The heavy black door slammed shut – loud groaning acting like a command whistle for Sungmin to start off towards Ryeowook. He grabbed the fidgeting one’s arm. “It’s time to go Wookie…”

“Do we have to?” he despaired, eyes sad and liquid even in the shadows of the Tech Shop.

“…we can take the long way,” Sungmin said, hoping that would be enough. There was nothing else he could offer considering curfew would be soon and as members of StudGov they would be expected to follow the enforced rules. How bad would it look to see two members of the board sneaking around after hours?

Ryeowook bit his lip, hesitating to answer. Taking the long way would certainly diminish the amount of time he would have to spend with Kyuhyun…another thought popped into his mind then and he quickly scrambled up with Sungmin’s help. “Okay!” he exclaimed, seemingly jumpy for something now. Did all people get such wild mood swings?

The pair strolled through the dimly lit campus perimeter, truly doing their best to extend the time as much as possible. Sungmin just wanted to keep his friend away from the one who had hurt him. Ryeowook…well, what did he want?

Without warning, Ryeowook caught Sungmin’s hand, holding it tightly. “H-Hey, do you remember what I asked you this morning?” he remarked quietly, cheeks flushed by the cold wind.

Sungmin only thought for a moment before the all too serious conversation flew through mind. “Yeah, you said you had something to tell me. What is it?”

Ryeowook fiddled with his gloves. “Okay…well first I want to tell you I’m really thankful,” he glanced up at the other boy, “you were the only one who kept looking out for me and…well, I can’t even begin to explain how much that meant. You were really there for me…even when I was being so stupid.”

“Oh…,” Sungmin blushed, eyes casting down, “you don’t have to thank me Ryeowook. We’re best friends. I’m supposed to be the only person who stays by you no matter what.”

“…Isn’t that more of a lover?”

Sungmin laced their fingers, grinning, “Then who do you go to when your lover upsets you or hurts you?” He tilted his head, seeing understanding on Ryeowook’s face. “So is there anything else you wanted to talk to me about?”

They started off down the road again, the Honors Dorm already in sight. Ryeowook nodded, pursing his lips for a brief moment. “…Okay…uhm can we stop for a second?”

“Sure.”

Ryeowook took the other boy’s free hand, making it so they were face to face before releasing their touch completely. A strange expression morphed Sungmin’s face at his friend’s peculiar actions.

All around the campus had fallen silent. Only the sound of creaking branches could be heard. This was his chance. Ryeowook couldn’t stop himself from saying it anymore. He needed to get it out. Swallowing, Ryeowook opened his mouth, eyes lifting to meet his dearest friend’s curious gaze. “Sungmin…”

“Hmm? What is it?” he laughed softly.

“I…,” Ryeowook felt heat creeping up his neck and was positive his palms were sweaty behind the gloves. _I can…I can do this…_ He took another deep breath, trying to shake off his trembling. “…I think I’m in lo—”

The front door of the Honors Dorm flew open, hinges groaning and wood crashing into the wall. Ryeowook and Sungmin whirled around, eyes wide and shocked. A young boy dashed out of the building, shoving past the pair.

“Wait!” It was Mir. His voice carried through the dark as he stumbled out of the dorm, his shirt only half on and belt buckle undone. He didn’t pay any mind to either of his watching friends, eyes blurred and breaths short as he tried to catch up to the runaway Taemin. “Please, wait!” he called again, hurrying away from the commotion left behind.

Slowly, Ryeowook turned to look at the Honors Dorm, seeing heads sticking out of windows and people crowding the front entrance. “Do you think they got into a fight?” Ryeowook mumbled weakly, knowing the answer was somewhere along those lines.

“A _huge_ one…probably,” Sungmin muttered, shaking his head and heading towards the building. “Oh man, I guess we better calm them…”

“Us?” Ryeowook stuttered, hurrying to catch up to Sungmin.

The latter frowned and patted the other boy’s shoulder. “Yeah…you’re the president, Wookie. Who else should be in charge of this mess?”

It was only then did Ryeowook remember all of his duties. Like a tsunami crashing down on his body, he slumped forward trudging up the steps and shooing everyone back inside. He had been so close…

Dongwoon caught Ryeowook’s arm, pulling him slightly aside. In the meantime, Sungmin was herding everyone into the lounge for a meeting of sorts. What a good secretary, huh? Ryeowook turned back to face his second-in-command. “What was that, Dongwoon?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” he replied sincerely, all of the dark annoyance from earlier gone. “I found them in our room post-sex,” at that the handsome boy rolled his eyes, “and when that little guy Taemin saw me he blew his top.”

Ryeowook winced, remembering how Minho had reacted when he found out Mir’s roommate was the one and only… “That’s understandable,” Ryeowook managed, clearing his throat, “so I’ll just tell everyone the truth—”

“—you’re not going to sugar coat it?” Dongwoon demanded.

Surprise rolled over Ryeowook’s face. “No…I wasn’t planning to. Should I?”

The vice president smiled, poorly hiding his chuckles. “No, no. It’s fine with me.” He released Ryeowook’s arm and followed him to where Sungmin was already waiting.

 

After the last of the explanations were done, Ryeowook released his held breath and slumped down on a recently emptied couch. He checked the clock in the corner. _12 A.M._

Closing his eyes, Ryeowook turned onto his side, enjoying the peaceful moment. Who would’ve thought everyone would freak out so much over a little drama? It wasn’t as if the academy was missing any of _that_. Well, at least in his circle of people it was common.

“Do you need anything?” Sungmin asked, crouching down in front of Ryeowook. He gently brushed a few of the boy’s dark brown bangs away, smiling at the tired StudGov president.

“I’m fine Minnie…,” Ryeowook yawned, eyes carefully opening in assurance. “You can go to bed…I think I’ll just sleep here tonight.”

“That’s no good,” he argued, “letting that Hound dictate where you sleep is so wrong. Just…,” Sungmin bit his lip, unsure of where that sentence was going, “…I don’t know. Take Mir’s bed since it looks like he’s not coming back tonight.”

Ryeowook giggled, absently fluffing Sungmin’s hair. “I’m okay right here. Besides, Mir might come back later and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have his key. I’ll just stick around to open it when he gets home.”

“…Are you sure?” Sungmin looked doubtful.

“Yes, yes,” he mumbled, waving his friend away. As Sungmin got back to his feet, he felt a slight tug on the hem of his sweater. Ryeowook was already halfway to dreamland as he mumbled, “…I still have something…to…tell…you…”

Sungmin nodded, gently loosening the boy’s fingers around his shirt. Quietly, he ascended the staircase, throwing one more look at his slumbering friend. What had Ryeowook been trying to say earlier anyway…?

***

Dongwoon glanced at his clock for perhaps the hundredth time that night. It was already three in the morning and Mir hadn’t shown up. Did he really sleep over at Taemin’s place? He sighed, getting up from bed and pulling on a sweatshirt.

The zipper made an acute buzzing sound as it rose, closing the warmth around his body. There was still plentiful darkness out the window, spots of lamp light sprinkled here and there.

Stretching, Dongwoon left his room, sauntering down the dimly lit halls. Apparently no one had bothered to turn all of the lights off. He descended the staircase, spotting a figure lying on the couch. The beating of his heart quickened with hope.

When he arrived at the couch, everything sort of…dropped.

Dongwoon frowned disapprovingly and leaned over the edge, gathering a shivering Ryeowook into his arms. Why the hell didn’t he have a blanket? The temperature on the first floor was nearly as cold as outside.

Without further ado, he climbed the steps and found the pale, cold boy’s room and knocked softly on the door after realizing Ryeowook’ didn’t have his room key. What an irresponsible president. Dongwoon shook his head, waiting for an answer from the boy’s roommate. It wasn’t his first choice to disrupt someone’s sleep at that early hour, but he couldn’t do anything else. If Ryeowook slept in his bed then…well, how could Dongwoon yell at Mir properly later?

A couple of minutes passed before a severely pissed looking boy opened the door. His dark eyes appeared even darker at that time of night and it surely didn’t help his face was white and humorless from being awakened.

“Sorry,” Dongwoon apologized immediately – guilt festering in his gut, “but this kiddo fell asleep on the couch downstairs without a blanket. He’s your roommate right?” He offered the lightweight child tentatively unsure if the wrathful figure would actually take Ryeowook.

But then the oddest – among the oddest things – he had seen in the past few hours happened.

The anger dissolved from the roommate’s face, replaced by something far more…subdued. “Okay,” he murmured voice hoarse from just waking up as he pulled Ryeowook close to his own body.  

Dongwoon noted the shift in atmosphere and almost smiled. What was Ryeowook so afraid of? He and his roommate seemed rather comfortable with one another. As if to further prove the point, Ryeowook sighed contentedly in his sleep, snuggling into the one holding him. In turn, the carrier shot a cold glare at Dongwoon and then slammed the door shut.

“You’re welcome…,” he muttered, only slightly miffed at the treatment. More importantly, it was time to find Mir.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Warmth enveloped Ryeowook, keeping the very tips of his fingers nice and tingly. A smile spread his lips as he curled into himself beneath the blanket. Wait. His eyes popped open, body shooting up. What was he doing in a bed?

“You almost froze overnight.”

Ryeowook gulped and reluctantly turned to look at the handsome, deep voiced boy sitting at a desk. Those unruly black waves stood out against his ivory skin, which at that particular moment, was twisted in irritation.

“Kyuhyun…,” Ryeowook whispered, suddenly feeling a clenching in the pit of his stomach.

A mug of coffee rested in both of Kyuhyun’s hands, steam floating up from the drink. “You didn’t want to see me that badly?” he asked.

Heat crowded the smaller boy’s face. “No! …I mean yes…,” Ryeowook played with the edge of the blanket. “…I didn’t think you’d want to room with me.”

“So you’re blaming me again?”

Ryeowook’s head shot up, eyes wide and frantic. A smirk slowly made its way across Kyuhyun’s lips. At the expression, Ryeowook sighed, dropping his head onto his sheet covered knees. “Stop teasing me, Kyuhyun…,” he mumbled, unable to keep the flush from surfacing.

“Seriously then,” the taller boy stated, “you were going to catch a cold if it weren’t for that one guy, Dongwoon.”

“He brought me to you?” Ryeowook should’ve known it wasn’t Sungmin or anyone else. In fact, Dongwoon was probably the only person in their dorm building who _didn’t_ know about Kyuhyun’s sharp tongue.

“Mmhmm,” he answered calmly, setting his mug down and standing. “I’m going to get breakfast.” Kyuhyun grabbed the jacket draped around the back of his chair and shrugged it on. Smoothly grabbing his keys, the boy opened the room’s door.

Ryeowook scrambled out of bed, one foot pressing down on the cold floor. “W-Wait..!” He caught one of Kyuhyun’s eyes. “Are you just leaving your coffee? That’s a waste of a drink isn’t it?” For the life of him, Ryeowook would never be able to explain why he was sad about Kyuhyun leaving so abruptly. Oh wait, perhaps he could explain…

“It’s not mine. I was just holding it.” With that, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Ryeowook’s eyes wandered down to the steaming cup. A familiar tingly feeling filled his veins as he reached out to take the mug. The smile was so subconscious – natural – Ryeowook wouldn’t have realized it was on his face had it not been for the awkward attempt at sipping the drink.

***

Donghae grinned at Kyuhyun. “What’re you so annoyed about?” He took a swig from a cup of orange juice before starting into his breakfast.

The boy in question grimaced after swallowing a mouthful of food. “I’m not annoyed,” Kyuhyun muttered. But, of course, he _was_ rather irritated.

“Are you still bummed about your break up?” Donghae prompted sympathetically.

“No.” And that was the truth. It had been nearly half a year since then. There was no way he would still be upset over it. Whatever he and Zhoumi had shared…well, they just didn’t share it anymore. Love…was it even love? If Kyuhyun ever found himself thinking about his former lover, it was mainly contemplative.

It had always bothered him. During those days together, they were madly in love, right? The problem was, if it had really been love, wouldn’t they have stayed together for far longer? Otherwise, they could’ve never been in love. Hopefully that wasn’t the case though. Kyuhyun didn’t want to regret lying – and most importantly tricking him into thinking something so fickle as their relationship could’ve been considered such a powerful bond.

Donghae finished his juice and leaned back in the chair, eyes drifting towards the window. Snow absently twirled to earth, seemingly unaware that the holidays were over and no one wanted to see the white dust anymore. “Kibum and I are still happy.”

“That’s good.”

“He said he likes me.”

“And you like him.”

“I love him.”

Kyuhyun felt a fresh twinge of annoyance. “Love? Are you sure?” he prompted, not even trying to mask the harshness of his tone.

“…More than anyone else I’ve ever met,” Donghae replied steadily, shifting so he faced the other boy head on again.

“Then why aren’t you saying it more happily?” Kyuhyun drawled, doing his very best at being supportive. His very best wasn’t very great for the record.

Donghae shrugged limply, “I doubt he feels the same. Or, knowing him, he’ll just blow it off as me being overzealous.”

“You _are_ overzealous a lot,” he remarked.

“That’s not the point,” Donghae huffed. A second passed and then he sighed, “Do you have any ideas on what I should do? I want to tell him…but I want him to know I’m serious. I don’t want him to think I’m just saying it for the sake of saying it.”

Kyuhyun took a slow drink from his milk. “Do you seriously mean it?”

“Of course I do!” he nearly yelled.

“Then just tell him.” Donghae’s mouth opened to protest the simple solution but Kyuhyun put up a halting hand, going on, “Tell him how you feel but afterwards tell him you’re saying it because you’ve been wanting to. You have to make it clear that you’re not pressuring him into saying it back.”

Kyuhyun could almost see the gears working in his friend’s brain as the plan started seeping in and taking over.

After a minute or so, Donghae nodded, determined. “But Kyu…I have a question.”

“What is it?” he mumbled, finishing his breakfast and leaning forward.

“You’ve gotten a lot softer these days…why?” the boy’s eyes sparkled with amusement, a grin forming on his lips.

Kyuhyun stood up, grabbing his jacket. “It must be because I spend all my time with a lovesick puppy.” Donghae was about to protest but the other kid was already sauntering towards the exit.

“Wait up!” he called, pulling on his jacket and racing after Kyuhyun.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Mir stared up at the ceiling. How had he come to be in this situation? That always seemed to be the question that popped into his mind whenever Taemin was involved. One second Mir was studying at his desk, the next he was trapped against a mattress by a lustful pretty boy. It wouldn’t be the first time such a thing happened either.

That’s how all of their “dates” usually went. Sure, Mir was still a teenager with hormones and such…but just being with Taemin was enough. He glanced down at the sleeping boy curled up next to him. See? Why couldn’t they be like that all the time? Why couldn’t they just…be?

Taemin stirred, eyes squeezing shut before slowly opening. His head tilted up, fluffy blonde hair shifting against Mir’s arm. A sleepy smile appeared on Taemin’s face as he hugged Mir tighter. “You’re still here…,” he mumbled, gently kissing the other boy’s shoulder. And then he went and started being all cute.

“Y-Yeah…I am,” Mir replied.

“I thought you would leave…,” the boy murmured drowsily, eyes shutting as he tried to get even closer to Mir.

The latter turned his body so they were facing one another, foreheads brushing ever so slightly. “…why…?”

Taemin sighed quietly, words a jumble as he tried to explain. From what Mir could catch, it sounded like “No one ever stays…they all leave…Minho…”

Was that why…? Mir stiffly wrapped his arms around the slender boy, pulling him closer until their legs were tangled and their bare chests touching. There was a grateful moan of comfort from the smaller one as he nuzzled into Mir. “I-I won’t leave you,” he said quietly, lips fluttering against Taemin’s ear.

The door opened.

Mir sat up, evidently taking the boy clinging to him up as well. A shirtless Minho had walked into the room, towel around neck and toiletries under one arm. “G-Good morning,” Mir greeted quickly, embarrassed by the current state of things. Plus, Minho always ended up walking in before, during, and/or after Taemin had reeled Mir into doing stuff.

“Yo,” he nodded, dropping his things on a shelf and digging through a closet for a long sleeve.

“Come back to bed, Mir…,” Taemin whined, not bothering to open his eyes.

Mir smothered a sigh. “I’m still here,” he explained, trying to pry the boy off of him.

“You can’t get rid of him during that stage,” Minho smirked as he pulled the plain shirt over his head, “don’t worry, you know he’ll wake up eventually.”

 _Eventually…_ Mir flopped back down on the bed, feeling the arms around him tighten. It was sort of like an anaconda, except less scary and with more hair. “…Yeah…I know.”

Mir heard a familiar buzzing and immediately tried to sit up again. One dismissive wave from Minho stopped his struggling. The standing boy picked up Mir’s cell phone, checking the text message for him.

“It says: Hey, I’m coming to the academy on February 10th so be ready to see me. Joon,” Minho recited rather blandly. He wasn’t quite sure what the message was supposed to mean but by the look on Mir’s face it was good news.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling happily as he sank back into Taemin’s snake like grip.

Minho watched the progressively tightening hold and chuckled. “Sorry about him. But you gotta admit, he’s pretty cute right now, huh?”

Mir nodded, blushing and looking away.

Their conversation ended there as Minho felt his own phone vibrating. He pulled it out, seeing the Caller I.D. and walking out of the dorm room.

 

“Hey, I finally got situated,” Key’s voice rang through the phone.

Minho smiled a bit, walking through the campus towards the Dining Hall for breakfast. “That’s good. Do you like it at the university?”

“There’s a lot of controlled freedom,” he replied, laughing softly. “It’s sort of lonely though…my roommate is pretty cool.”

“Oh? Will I get to meet him?” Minho was looking around the campus, not searching for anything in particular. The morning air was rather crisp and fresh – fresher than normal. Maybe he was just in one of those moods, whatever.

“Of course,” Key said quickly, sounding as if he were smiling, “I can’t wait. You said you’d come up this weekend, right?”

“Yeah, can’t wait either,” he assured. Minho’s eyes trailed across the miscellaneous shops making up the main square. It looked like students were decorating for some sort of event. He thought for a moment, trying to remember any past festivals that may have taken place during that time of year. When he came up with nothing, a frown replaced the wondering expression. What the hell could the school be planning?

“Then I’ll see you soon!” Key chimed before saying goodbye and ending the call.

Minho put the phone away, footsteps slowing at the sight of someone struggling to attach a string of lights. The boy was standing at the top of a shaky ladder, one foot actually starting to come off the metal contraption.

A queasy feeling slowly crept up from Minho’s stomach. “H-Hey—!” he called out, but it was already too late.

The person was falling and ripping the carefully pinned up lights down with him. Minho dashed forward, arms outstretched. Thank the lords the ladder wasn’t tall or else the catch probably would’ve been a lot harder to pull off than it was. Minho breathed a sigh of relief before looking down at the person he had saved.

Sungmin was gazing up at him, those large, black doe eyes boring into his. “M-Minho?” he said, surprise registering. “Oh, thanks.”

“That’s all I get?” Minho scoffed, shaking away his momentary speechlessness from seeing the cute boy up close, you know, after so long. “You were about to break your skull on stone and all I get for saving you is an ‘Oh, thanks’?”

Color seeped into Sungmin’s cheeks. “Well what else am I supposed to say?” He glanced down at the string of lights in his tightly clenched fist. “Man…I was so close to finishing too.”

Minho hated himself. He fucking hated himself. No, wait, actually he hated his weak kneed about Sungmin self. Why did things have to be like that? Taking a deep breath, Minho set the smaller boy down on his feet and took the lights from him. “Hold the ladder steady.”

There was no reply, just the quick movement of Sungmin grabbing the ladder and repositioning it at one end of a building. And then Minho was climbing the death trap, fully aware that he was being stupid and lovesick for someone who probably thought he was some low life scum.

Oh wait, maybe he was a bit better than low life scum.

Then again, that wasn’t saying much.

After they finished, Minho stepped down from the ladder and turned to Sungmin. “What’s all of this for anyway?” He took the metal tool, folding it up and leaning it against the building.

Sungmin smiled at the handiwork, happy that it was finally done. “Last year someone said it would be cool to do a Valentine’s Day event so we’re decorating in preparation for all of the things we’re planning.”

“You guys actually read those suggestion box messages?” Minho smirked enjoying the mild glare shot his way.

“Of course we do,” he snapped, relaxing the next second, “besides, don’t you think this could be a lot of fun?”

“It depends on what sort of things you’re having us do.”

Sungmin pulled a list from his jacket pocket, reading, “February 8th is Give a Red Rose, the 9th is Karaoke, the 10th is Promises, the 11th—”

“—promises?” Minho repeated.

The other boy nodded, looking up from the paper, “Students apply for Promise Rings that they can give to their boyfriend or mail to their girlfriends outside of the academy.”

“How did you guys get the money for all of this?” his voice trembled with amusement, much to Sungmin’s irritation.

“The director recently got a bunch of money so he said he’ll turn it over to StudGov. Now can I finish?” Minho nodded and Sungmin cleared his throat, going back to the paper. “The 11th is Raffle Day where the winner will be given two free passes to leave campus on the 14th. The 12th is Matchmaker Day where a lecture about love will be given and then everyone in the academy, who wants to, will take a matchmaking quiz to see who they’re most compatible with. The 13th is Love Letters Day and the letters will be sent the morning of the 14th. The 14th is a Valentines Dance in the newly redone Ballroom.”

“You mean the scary ass, haunted one at the edge of the campus?” Minho cocked an eyebrow.

Sungmin nodded, “but it was cleaned up and redone.”

“How much money did the director recently get?” he shook his head, bewilderment clearly written on his face.

The black haired boy shrugged and put the paper away. “If you were headed somewhere, I’m sorry for keeping you here,” Sungmin said, “but thanks for all of the help.”

Minho smiled, unable to help himself. “I liked it.” He was about to reach for Sungmin’s hand when it abruptly moved away.

Sungmin was watching the taller boy carefully, large eyes guarded. “You’re dating someone still, right? Don’t flirt with me.” He voice cracked the tiniest bit, but then he was swiveling away too fast for Minho to be sure.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The sky was already dark by the time Math Team ended and all of the forms for their upcoming competition completed. It was so tedious leading…anything, really. Not to mention it was freezing and windy at night. Who would want to walk around in that sort of weather?

There was only one reason he bothered becoming the Math Team captain or whatever and that reason was because he had nothing else to do. Aside from singing – an activity he preferred to keep private – it was the only thing that managed to keep him interested, sort of.

Kyuhyun unlocked the door to his room, sighing as the weight of the day started seeping into his bones. All he wanted to do was lay down and sleep.

“You’re back already?” Ryeowook squeaked, sounding incredibly nervous.

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun answered, only then seeing the mess that was their room. He staggered backwards, shouldering the door shut and whisper-yelling, “What _is_ all of this?”

The floor, beds, and desks were adorned with possibly hundreds of red roses. Boxes of them appeared at random, overflowing with the scarlet flowers. Kyuhyun felt a crunch beneath one shoe and immediately backed up, sighing as he saw one of the roses limp and broken, deep green stem snapped.

He peered up, seeing Ryeowook half-drowning in a fluffy sea of red. Kyuhyun kicked the flowers aside, creating a path for himself. Every swing of his foot made Ryeowook flinch, the fear that the flowers were getting hurt dominating his mind.

“How else do you expect me to get through?” Kyuhyun demanded, glaring shortly at the buried boy.

Ryeowook shrugged sheepishly and starting carefully plucking roses to set them back in the box before him. He had been hoping Kyuhyun wouldn’t show up any time soon – not before Dongwoon and Sungmin came by to help handle the shipment of roses.

Suddenly, all of the red blooms were fluttering off the bed, replaced by Kyuhyun. The ones scattered around Ryeowook’s lap and headboard remained but otherwise that mattress became the only source of sitting space in the room. Kyuhyun settled on Ryeowook with a questioning glower.

“The shipment of roses for the Valentine’s Day event came and they accidentally delivered it to the dorm so I took them all up here so they wouldn’t block the entryway but then the scent of roses was too strong so I opened the window—”

“—and the wind blew them around,” Kyuhyun finished, nodded warily. “Why did you open all of the boxes?”

“Well Sungmin and Dongwoon were going to come over and we were planning on finishing all of the preparations by tonight. I figured it would save time by just opening all of the boxes,” Ryeowook explained, twiddling his thumbs like a child.

Kyuhyun looked around at the mess again. “What do you need to do?”

“Cut off the thorns and tie these ribbons to the stems,” Ryeowook stated quickly, holding up a pair of clippers and some maroon satin ribbon.

Silently, Kyuhyun picked up the box beside his roommate and emptied its contents on the floor. He then picked up a rose, taking the clippers from Ryeowook. “Start working,” Kyuhyun ordered, “I can’t sleep with all of these things everywhere.” Without another word, he started snipping off the thorns, tossing it into the emptied box.

Ryeowook followed suit, heart beating just a bit faster – in a good way. They worked quietly for a long time, cranking out decorated rose after decorated rose. The completed ones were placed in another emptied box. There was something oddly…okay about it all. Shouldn’t they have been more awkward? Ryeowook sneaked a look at Kyuhyun. The latter was working diligently, expertly snipping off thorns and tying bows like he did it for a living.

A small smile made its way onto Ryeowook’s face. It was one of the many things that made him admire Kyuhyun so much. The boy was so capable of whatever was thrown his way. If Ryeowook tried, he still had a hard time thinking of something Kyuhyun did poorly.

Academics? Wonderful.

Singing? Beautiful.

Games? Unbeatable.

A sharp pain shot through Ryeowook’s finger and he gasped, clenching his hand tightly against the pounding in his fingertip. The clipper and rose tumbled onto the blanket.

Kyuhyun turned around, brow furrowed at the weird noise Ryeowook had made. His eyes landed on the blood sliding between the boy’s curled fingers. “Open your hand,” he stated, setting the tools down and taking Ryeowook’s bleeding cut.

The fingers unwound, showing an uneven coating of red with the darkest part being right on the tip of his index finger. Kyuhyun made a disapproving sound and stood up to get the first aid kit from the closet.

He popped open the lid, rummaging around for wipes, disinfectant and a band-aid. Ryeowook simply watched him, allowing the question to bubble up inside of him.

“Why weren’t you paying more attention?” Kyuhyun asked, sitting back down and gently cleaning up the drying blood. The wet wipe soaked up the liquid, turning it maroon.

“Why do you do it?”

Kyuhyun dabbed at the wound, murmuring a, “hmm?”

“Why do you take care of me…?” Ryeowook felt the cold material stop moving and then a pair of dark eyes meeting his own. “…I know you don’t like to take care of me…so why do you do it?” His voice had dropped to barely above a whisper, free hand closing into a loose fist.

There was a second’s pause but then the dabbing was back and Kyuhyun’s voice was ringing through the room, “I don’t mind taking care of you…,” his words were slow, deliberate – as if he were trying to leave no room for misunderstanding, “You’re supposed to be the one that knows me best but there are so many things you don’t know. The same goes for me though. I’m supposed to know everything about you, but how many secrets have you kept from me?”

Ryeowook’s mouth opened and closed wordlessly, not expecting that answer.

The disinfectant stung his cut but at that moment it meant nothing. Kyuhyun unwrapped the band-aid, saying, “What I mean is I’m done. I’m done soul-searching.” He secured the bandage, meeting Ryeowook’s eyes again. “So…where do you want to go from here?”

Three sharp raps at the door snapped them both to attention. Ryeowook stood up, beating Kyuhyun to answering the visitors. “Hello?” he greeted breathlessly as the threshold opened.

Sungmin, Dongwoon and Mir stood on the other side. A small part of Ryeowook was relieved that they were finally there. But…he glanced back to see Kyuhyun working again. Stepping aside, Ryeowook allowed the trio into the room.

“Whoa, what did you do Wookie?” Sungmin laughed, tip toeing through the battlefield of roses.

“Let’s not talk about it,” Ryeowook replied meekly, hurrying back to his original seat and continuing to work. He peeked up at Kyuhyun but the boy was straight-faced. Sighing under his breath, Ryeowook turned to Sungmin and the others, explaining what they were to do for the flowers.

Dongwoon cleared Kyuhyun’s bed, grabbing a set of clippers. Mir looked around for another set of them but when he found none, Dongwoon chuckled and pulled him down next to him. “Tie the ribbons around the ones I cut,” he stated, handing Mir a clean stemmed red rose.

As Ryeowook watched his friend take the bloom, he couldn’t help but wonder why the whole scene looked so…romantic.

“How’re you doing, Hound?” Sungmin smirked at Kyuhyun, the evil glint in his eyes.

The romantic atmosphere was officially shattered.

Kyuhyun returned the dark grin. “Not bad, Stupid Bunny. You’re looking nice and lonely over there.”

The banter went on and on. Ryeowook swallowed a bit tiredly at the harsh taunts. At least their snarky remarks were lightening the mood – even if by the tiniest smidge.

 


	8. Chapter 8

“Holy…,” Donghae winced, covering his ears and wincing.

Kyuhyun smirked, eyes travelling over to the current screeching of a karaoke singer. “Don’t you like it?” he asked, bobbing his head to the off-key singing.

“Be quiet,” he muttered, frowning at Kyuhyun. “Whose smart idea was it to give the regular students a microphone and amp?”

“Student Government,” the latter answered, seeing that Dongwoon boy sitting at the DJ table with Sungmin. Kyuhyun looked away, nothing bothering to eye them if Ryeowook wasn’t around. Neither of them was worth looking at, what with one being the Stupid Bunny and the other weirdly all-over the awkward boy, Mir.

Donghae nodded in forced understanding. “Hey why are we still here? We’re both done eating. Can’t we just go…away from here or something?”

“Where do you want to go?” Kyuhyun questioned. “There’s nothing else to do except maybe eat some more.”

Meanwhile, the boy singing belted a long, crackly note, looking as if he were in pain doing it. Maybe he was. Kyuhyun flinched at the noise, starting to find the whole ordeal far less amusing. A large part of him was itching to just take that microphone away and take over for the horrible singer.

“I don’t know~! Just away from here,” Donghae whined, standing up and pulling his jacket on.

Kyuhyun followed suit, zipping his coat up and heading towards the door. Before either of them could grab the handle though, it opened. He skidded to a halt right before colliding with the smaller boy. “Hey,” Kyuhyun said, side stepping the wide-eyed Ryeowook.

“Oh, Kyuhyun!” he stated, surprise littering his tone. “Are you enjoying…,” Ryeowook cut himself off after another squeaky note filled the room, “…never mind.” There was another person standing slightly behind the slender boy – most likely another StudGov member.

“Yeah,” he replied. Without warning, the back of Kyuhyun’s hand brushed across the other boy’s frigid and flushed cheek. “Where’s your scarf?”

Ryeowook blinked, feeling his neck. “I forgot it…,” he mumbled.

Reaching into his front coat pocket, Kyuhyun pulled out a dark red scarf, carelessly tossing it around the smaller boy’s neck. “Remember it next time.” Then he was walking past, shoulders straight and calm.

Donghae caught up to his friend, grinning like a fool as he pressed a gloved hand down on Kyuhyun’s shoulder. “So…what was that about?” he leaned over, looking far too triumphant.

“He’s my roommate,” the dark haired boy answered, cursing himself for doing that in front of his friend. When he saw Ryeowook it was just…like the world faded away, if that made sense.

After finally getting those stupid words out, Kyuhyun felt like a weight had been lifted. He had mulled over confronting Ryeowook since he punched Eunhyuk for taking Zhoumi. That whole event threw everything he thought straight out the window. If something as real as him and Zhoumi ended up being fake, how could Kyuhyun be sure what he thought of Ryeowook wasn’t the complete opposite?

For instance, he had convinced himself long ago that Ryeowook was a useless little boy. Yet somehow, that useless little boy ended up taking on the stress of the StudGov president. Could Kyuhyun have been wrong? Or rather, had he just forgotten people are capable of growing and changing? Seeing Zhoumi leave him…well, that was enough to know there was certainly a possibility of someone like Ryeowook changing.

“You sure he’s not _more_ than a roommate?” Donghae nudged his friend, “I know that if I was rooming with Kibum—”

“—you’re not rooming with your boyfriend?” Kyuhyun cut in, stifling a smirk, “are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean, I’ve seen Kibum, he’s pretty cute.”

Donghae rolled his eyes, “Stop joking around. There was nothing I could do. He’s a year younger than us so there was no way for me to room with him.”

“What are you talking about?” he raised his eyebrows, “Second and third years are dorm together.”

“…what?”

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun nodded.

A horrified expression overtook Donghae’s face and then he was muttering something about talking to the dorm advisor and switching rooms. Kyuhyun watched him scamper off, wondering how someone could be so…funny.

Now that he was alone, there really was nothing to do – not even someone to talk to. Kyuhyun settled for taking a walk around the campus after deciding it wasn’t too cold that day. There was absolutely no way he was going back to Karaoke and there was even less of a chance of him going back to the dorm building to study.

Just as he started towards the park, someone caught his shoulder. Kyuhyun stuttered to a halt, tilting his head back. “…What do you want?”

Sungmin’s hand slipped from the glaring boy’s shoulder as he said, “I want to talk.”

***

Mir exhaled deeply, smiling. His skin was flushed and glowing, loose t-shirt fluttering around his collar. The prop microphone in his hand was moistened with sweat but so was the rest of him. It felt good to release some of that tension.

Peering outside, Mir saw the sky was gloomy gray as usual but even that couldn’t kill his mood. There were many good things about the next few days and he was in dire need of some stress-free fun.

He sat down on a chair, picking up the water bottle beside it. Although Taemin made his heart flutter and the world brighten, all of those emotions were combated with uneasy jealousy and insecurity. Yes, it was nice to know the pretty boy cared enough to feel those things, but the relentless arguments and tears were overshadowing the happy times. Mir didn’t know much about relationships or romance – barely friendship – though he could rightfully deduce there was something wrong about his current affair with Taemin.

Why were they having so much trouble communicating? And why did all of their fights end in Mir chasing after him? Was that how it worked?

He slumped back against the chair, covering his eyes with the back of one hand. There had to be a way to kill Taemin’s insecurities. Now Mir just had to figure out what that way was.

“What are you doing here?” His eyes opened and he scrambled to his feet. When he whipped around to the open doorway, Dongwoon was leaning against the frame, smiling curiously. He was holding a cardboard box in both arms.

“N-Nothing,” Mir managed, quickly reaching up to remove his cap.

Dongwoon grinned, entering the room and setting the box down. “If you like singing why didn’t you do Karaoke?”

“I like rapping…not singing,” he mumbled, flushing. Since when did he get so bad at keeping his secret? Ryeowook had already caught him and now Dongwoon had too.

“You could’ve rapped up there,” the taller boy persisted, sitting down on an empty chair across from Mir’s. “But I didn’t think you would like music.”

Mir sank into his own seat, already giving up on hiding anything from Dongwoon. Apparently it was impossible to keep anything from him. He had a knack for catching Mir for some reason. “I think it’s fun…relaxing,” he smiled a bit, “but it’s a secret…so could you not talk about?”

“Oh? I have one of your secrets?” Dongwoon’s eyes sparkled teasingly as he leaned forward, elbows on knees. “Well I guess it’s fair now.”

“W-Why?” Mir stuttered, backing away from the handsome boy.

“Come here,” the other boy waved his hand, indicating for Mir to lean forward as well. He hesitated but then found his body obliging as it often did those days. Dongwoon touched one side of Mir’s face, saying, “You’re the first person I’ve ever kissed…our little secret, okay?”

“W-What? No way!” Mir couldn’t control his own voice and quickly covered his mouth. It was impossible, right? Someone like Dongwoon…surely it was a joke. Yes, the guy was probably teasing him again.

All doubts flew out of mind though when Mir saw the tinge of pink color the normally composed boy’s cheeks. “It’s embarrassing,” he muttered, “so don’t go spreading it or anything.”

“I won’t,” he assured, unable to help the grin making its way onto his face.

Dongwoon glared but the corner of his mouth was twitching up. “Oh shut up,” he rolled his eyes, “but how am I?”

Mir blinked, confused by the question. Once it dawned on him, a small laugh burst from his lips. He stifled it quickly and said with a shaky voice, “Y-You’re good…I promise.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he sighed, smirking a second later, “Otherwise you wouldn’t keep letting me kiss you, huh?”

“D-Don’t talk about that,” Mir stated, coloring. “Taemin really doesn’t like it…” And then another thought occurred to him. His head shot up and he looked at Dongwoon with hopeful eyes. “Actually, do you want a boyfriend?”

The one in question cocked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“I mean…,” Mir paused, trying to sound less desperate, “do you want someone to date…? Y-You’re already in your last year of high school…wouldn’t it be fun to date someone at least once?”

“I suppose so…,” Dongwoon said carefully, “…did you have someone in mind?” The light in his eyes was intensifying as he gazed back at the anxious boy. But all of that glowing abruptly halted when Mir started naming off different people he thought would be good for Dongwoon. “…Oh,” the tall boy muttered, “I get it.”

Mir smiled with relief. “I can set it up for you. Y’know for the dance on Valentine’s Day,” he explained.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Dongwoon forced a smile and stood up, grabbing the box again. “We can talk about it back at the dorms then.” He didn’t wait for a reply though. It didn’t matter to him. Why didn’t Mir get it? You couldn’t just push two people together, especially when one of them already had a person in mind.

 ***

Kyuhyun was walking through the cold night, wondering why the hell Ryeowook sent him such a cryptic text message. Furthermore, why was he listening? He could’ve just ignored the instructions and stayed nice and cozy in the dorm room.

His footsteps slowed the tiniest bit as he cursed the Stupid Bunny and suddenly increased his walking pace. The faster he got there the faster he could find out what was going on and then head home.

The message had said: _Come to the Music Building Kyuhyun!_

Now why couldn’t Ryeowook have put more information? At least then Kyuhyun wouldn’t be walking in blind.

Not surprisingly, the Music Building was dimly lit, only one room and one hallway leaking light into the dark night. Kyuhyun pulled on the door handle, stepping inside only to see a trio of very familiar people exiting the building. He moved aside, meeting their eyes for brief moments.

“Are you here for Ryeowook?” Dongwoon asked, opening the door to the outside.

“Yeah, which room is he in?” Kyuhyun questioned, effectively ignoring Sungmin who was glaring daggers at him.

The fair haired boy pointed down the hallway, “He’s in the second to last room I think.”

Kyuhyun nodded, preparing to leave. He should’ve known a certain someone would open his Stupid Bunny mouth.

“You better be here for that,” Sungmin nearly growled.

“None of your business,” Kyuhyun scoffed, hearing angry threats fade behind him as he headed towards Ryeowook.

The rooms were mainly dark except for the one indicated by Dongwoon. Its door was shut but plenty of moonlight was spilling into the warmly glowing music room. Why didn’t Ryeowook turn on a real light?

Kyuhyun silently entered the room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Before him was beautiful picture. A grand piano glittered beneath strong moon rays, it’s pianist sitting upright and breathing slowly, evenly. The young man’s fingers rested quietly on the white keys, body a silhouette to match his reaching shadow.

Those peaceful eyes fluttered open and Ryeowook turned to look at Kyuhyun. “Oh, you’re here already,” he smiled, albeit hesitantly.

“What did you want to show me?” he asked, coming over to the piano. His eyes spotted sheet music. Kyuhyun reached out, taking it. “What is this…?”

Ryeowook looked down at the comforting keys. “Everyone else sang today…so I thought maybe you would’ve wanted to...outside of the public’s eye, I mean.”

“But…isn’t this my poem?” he asked softly, lowering the sheet music to look at Ryeowook.

The boy nodded and if it weren’t for the lack of proper lighting, his face would’ve been bright red. “A long time ago my friend helped me create a piano accompaniment for it. I was going to give it to you as a present…but,” he shrugged helplessly, laughing humorlessly.

That fucking Stupid Bunny. Kyuhyun swore he would rip his throat out.

Sighing, Kyuhyun set the music down and pulled Ryeowook to his feet. The piano bench rolled backwards, it’s wheels left unlocked. He pushed the soft hair away from Ryeowook’s face, gazing down at him. “I said it’s up to you where we go from here,” Kyuhyun stated, “but…is this really where you want to go?”

“What do you mean…?”

“We can’t go back in time. There’s no way for us to…well, to be what we used to be.”

Ryeowook nodded, fiddling with his confused fingers. “I know…I know that time keeps moving. There’s no way to slow it down…or to reverse. But Kyuhyun,” he was still trapped in those dark eyes, not willing to break away, or even able to, “I don’t know what to do. …I don’t know how to act around you. I don’t understand you at all,” the last part was lost as a sob broke from his throat.

“Do you even want to know me?” Kyuhyun asked quietly, fingers moving down to caress the other boy’s face more thoroughly. “I mean…should I give you a list of all the reasons you shouldn’t even want to see my face?” Sungmin had done so when they spoke earlier that day. He really hadn’t thought the list would be so impressive but damn…he had done a lot of stuff.

“Of course I do!” he cried indignantly, hands coming up to rest on either of Kyuhyun’s upraised arms. Uncertainty flickered through his eyes, “Or well…it’s hard to be angry when I know you technically didn’t do anything wrong.”

“What?” Even Kyuhyun wasn’t sure if that was Ryeowook being _too_ lenient.

The smaller boy shrugged, pain slicing through his large dark eyes. “We were just friends…really strange friends. It wasn’t wrong of you to get a boyfriend…and the stuff you told me that day last year,” neither of them needed to be reminded of the bus incident, “well, you apologized. I’m not really sure what to be mad about to be honest.”

That was certainly one way to look at it. Kyuhyun was about to let everything go but then Sungmin’s voice was pounding in his head again, dumping the guilt right back on Kyuhyun. “That’s not enough.”

Ryeowook’s brow furrowed. “W-What do you mean?”

Kyuhyun frowned, slowly releasing Ryeowook and stepping back. “We’re starting over, I suppose.” He offered his hand. “I’m Kyuhyun. What’s your name?”

Ryeowook took the hand, glancing up at Kyuhyun curiously. “I’m Ryeowook…it’s nice to meet you.” He laughed softly, feeling his heart beat quicken for whatever reason. They were being silly weren’t they?

They broke contact and then Kyuhyun was turning to the piano. “So what were you going to play?” he asked as if he didn’t know.

“It’s a piece I helped right,” Ryeowook explained, playing along, “I need a vocalist though. Do you think you could help me?”

Kyuhyun smirked, picking up the sheet music. “Are you sure? I don’t think I’m a very good singer.”

“I’m sure you’re fine,” he insisted, taking up the piano keys again, “It’s a really easy tune. I think anyone could handle it.”

“Oh?” the dark haired boy said, bemused, “Then I won’t worry about it.” He listened to Ryeowook start playing, listening to the way the poem would flow into the music. Kyuhyun parted his lips, unable to resist a very small smile at the seamless accompaniment.

 


	9. Chapter 9

“Here you go! Enjoy,” Ryeowook smiled at the student as he handed him two ring boxes.

Sungmin was doing the same thing beside him, giving sets of rings to waiting boys. The other Student Government members filled seats around them, working furiously to finishing handing out that day’s gifts. There was a rather intimidating long line extending through the Dining Hall made up of eager students. Who wouldn’t want to get a lovey-dovey ring for his special someone? Plus it was free.

“Do we have enough?” Sungmin asked, glancing worriedly at the quickly depleting supply.

Ryeowook frowned, taking a rough inventory of the box of gift-wrapped rings by his feet. “I’m not sure…but it never hurt to get some more out.” He leaned over the long white table, calling out to Dongwoon, “Can you go to the Music Building really fast and get some more?”

The vice president nodded, handing one more set of rings out before standing up and heading towards the back exit. There were some complaints but no one dared move out of line, afraid of getting stuck in a barrage of people once Dongwoon came back with a fresh supply of gifts.  

They continued working diligently, only taking breaks for a quick sip of water. It was amazing how popular the Valentine’s Event Week was. Ryeowook couldn’t help but smile when he thought about its success. He tried to keep the random grins to a minimum though, afraid some of the students would judge him for it.

Dongwoon lugged two full boxes down the Music Building’s steps, trying to keep his breaths even in the chilly air. Overhead a gray sky loomed over everything. Sometimes it was strange how the weather didn’t reflect the mood of the campus. But then again, the weather wasn’t affected by the mood of a reform school, huh?

From his peripheral vision, the boy caught sight of a taxi pulling up to the school. Dongwoon slowed to a halt. Who would be coming to visit? Or maybe it was for something else? He looked around, seeing if there was anyone coming to meet the guests. That’s when his eyes landed on a jumpy boy waiting rather impatiently by the taxi. Dongwoon opened his mouth to call out but stopped once a vaguely familiar person stepped out of the car.

His face was angular and attractive, framed by dark brown locks of hair. A long black coat followed the sleek lines of his body, fluttering around his knees as if he were in the middle of a photo shoot. Yes, that was a great way to describe it.

A grin broke across the man’s handsome face and suddenly Mir was blocking the expression as he tightly embraced him.

Dongwoon stared, eyes fluttering in a mixture of surprise and just the smallest twinge of annoyance. The annoyance disappeared once he saw an equally attractive person step out from the other side of the car. This time he definitely recognized the face. Dark, soulful eyes…tousled jet black hair…smooth skin… “Yesung-hyung!” Dongwoon shouted, catching the young man’s attention immediately.

Recognition flitted over his face and then Yesung was smiling and waving.

All the while, Mir was still clinging to Joon, almost like a child who hadn’t seen his mother in many years. A small sniffle came from the boy, his head buried in Joon’s shoulder. “How’ve you been?” Mir asked, trying to sound as normal as he could.

“Fine,” Joon chuckled, patting the younger one’s head gently, “you seem a lot more emotional these days, Mir.”

“Oh he is,” Dongwoon offered, smiling at the older fellow, “probably because of his boyfriend.”

Joon blinked, pulling back to study Mir’s face. “No way! Why didn’t you tell me you got a boyfriend?” He ruffled the puppy-like child’s hair, “Introduce me to him later. I wanna see who managed to break you out of your shell.”

Mir blushed, clearing his throat and looking away. “Yeah…sure,” he grunted, his personality doing a three-sixty turn.

The black clad man chuckled, looping an arm around Mir’s shoulders. “Don’t even bother trying to be the cool guy now.”

A smile quirked Dongwoon’s lips, “Mir? Cool? Naw…”

“Hey!” Mir glared defensively, eyes softening when he met the chestnut haired boy. Normally being snapped at should make you feel upset but on the contrary he was pleased. It was rare to see a lively Mir. Usually he was a stuttering, stammering, uncertain wreck – or cold, one or the other.

“Here are your things,” a rich, gentle voice suddenly spoke.

The trio turned around to see Yesung walking towards them holding two duffel bags. His navy blue pea coat swayed slightly with each measured step, giving him a far more mature air.

Joon let himself drift away from Mir to where Yesung stood. “You could’ve waited for me to get them,” he insisted, seemingly upset that his companion had taken the liberty to do everything – including paying the taxi driver.

“It’s okay,” Yesung said, smiling faintly, though he allowed the other man to take both bags away.

“You don’t have to take care of me,” he urged intimately, the way he gazed at Yesung all the proof their onlookers needed to know what was going on.

Dongwoon tugged on Mir’s arm, balancing the two boxes in one hand. Catching his drift, Mir said, “I’ll come get you for dinner, hyung,” before allowing himself to be pulled away by Dongwoon.

“Ah, okay,” Joon answered absently, still absorbed in some sort of silent argument with the beautiful singer.

 

The pair of younger boys headed back towards the Dining Hall. Neither of them spoke for a moment but that was broken when Dongwoon asked, “I didn’t know you were so close to Joon-hyung.”

“Yeah…we came here together,” Mir explained vaguely.

“Oh? So he’s like your brother,” the taller boy stated, smiling, “it must be nice having someone looking out for you.”

Mir shrugged. “When he’s around things are nicer…but he’s really happy out there with Yesung-hyung. I don’t mind being stuck here.”

“What do you mean stuck?” Dongwoon muttered, eyeing the boy, “You’ve got Sungmin and Ryeowook, your boyfriend and me too. There are plenty of people don’t you think?”

The words didn’t seem to have the right effect though. Mir’s gaze just grew more guarded and his jaw tightened, loosening a second later as if he decided there was no point in the frustration. He took one of the boxes from Dongwoon. “We can move faster this way,” Mir remarked.

Dongwoon stifled a sigh. He should’ve known the bonding moment wouldn’t last. “…so did you find me a date?” The answer couldn’t have meant less to him. There really was only one person he wanted to go anywhere with and it certainly wasn’t some stranger.

His question appeared to catch Mir off guard. Stumbling over his words, the boy said, “O-Oh yeah. I gave him your number so he should text you later…y’know, about details.”

“Alright, sounds good,” Dongwoon murmured indifferently, quickly masking the lack of interest with a smile.

Mir appeared more at ease with the reply and nodded to himself. This was fine. This way everyone would be happy right? Taemin would surely be excited and that’s what mattered.

 ***

Sungmin released a loud sigh, rolling his neck tiredly. They had finally finished handing out rings and were heading back to the dorm for a little while before dinner. It felt like the afternoon would never end with the endless sea of impatient students. But somehow they had managed to make it.

“Do we have any left?” Ryeowook laughed, yawning and stretching in the early evening cold. His scarf floated behind him, free flowing in the wind.

“Hmm I don’t know,” the darker haired boy replied, grinning, “but I don’t know if I ever wanna see another one again. I swear we went through at least the entire student body.”

Ryeowook tucked his hands into pockets, smiling back at Sungmin. “Agreed.” They continued on for a while in silence, but then Ryeowook was touching his friend’s arm. “Hey, hey, I have to tell you something!”

“About what?” Sungmin prompted, pulling his pink scarf higher around his face.

“Kyuhyun.”

A frown morphed his hidden mouth. “Oh? What about the Hound?”

“I think…I think we’re going to be okay,” he stated carefully, “we talked a bit and both of us are ready to move away from what happened—”

“—you mean you’re forgiving him just like that, right?” Sungmin interrupted.

Ryeowook nodded, startled by the tone taken. “Well, I don’t really know what I should forgive…he didn’t really do anything that bad…”

“What do you mean? Hurting you _that_ much isn’t considered bad?” he scoffed, shaking his head, “…whatever.”

“Huh?” the other boy felt his heart jump. Why was Sungmin being so…odd? He usually had a cooler head…but maybe there was something wrong with him. Ryeowook reached out with one hand but felt Sungmin stiffen and back up. “…is there something going on?”

“Nothing,” he replied tightly, repositioning his scarf as if he just needed to do something with his hands.

“You can trust me, Sungmin,” Ryeowook stated kindly.

The black haired boy sighed, letting go of his control apparently. An unfamiliar hardness entered his gaze as he met the slender one’s eyes. “You can’t take your words back.”

He nodded, dread seeping into his chest. There was no turning back. Sungmin had always been there for him and this time, well, Ryeowook wanted to be there for him instead. After all, they were supposed to be best friends. As best friends weren’t you required to always support one another?

“You’re being too lenient Ryeowook. How can you just accept him again after all of that stuff he put you through last year?” Sungmin blurted all at once, the bitterness drenching each word.

“You’re talking about Kyuhyun, right…?” he asked, knowing the answer but wanting to be absolutely sure. Sungmin nodded slightly. Ryeowook swallowed the lump in his throat, saying, “…I was the one doing it to myself, Sungmin…how can I blame Kyuhyun—?”

Sungmin whirled on the other boy, annoyance running rampant. Their slow approach to the dorm had completely halted with the release of what appeared to be a great deal of pent up frustrations. “—you can _easily_ blame him! He knew you loved him and he just didn’t give a damn! He knew that what he was doing would definitely hurt you and you’re just going to brush it off as your own fault? Are you kidding me Ryeowook?!”

Hurt passed over his face but he quickly smothered it, remembering that he had asked Sungmin to speak his mind. Now that the truth was coming out Ryeowook couldn’t just tell him to be quiet because it upset him.

“You don’t get it…Kyuhyun apologized last year for what he did…at least part of it.” Ryeowook pursed his lips, eyes narrowing at the ground. “I can’t hold grudges…especially against someone who took care of me my whole life.”

“Yeah, except for when he blew up and threw you aside like a stranger,” Sungmin spat. He would admit it. He was fed up. He was so _tired_ of hearing Ryeowook defend a low-life, heartless person like Kyuhyun. Why was it so _damn_ hard for him to see the truth? “Don’t you see he’s just…I don’t even know what he’s doing! He’s probably just playing with you!”

“He’s not!” Ryeowook retorted. “Why would he bother to make up with me? Kyuhyun isn’t that nice! He wouldn’t do that!”

Sungmin couldn’t help but laugh, short and harsh. “Do you hear yourself, Ryeowook?” he cried, arms flying out. “You’re admitting what a horrible person he is!” A slow, cold expression overtook his face then, eyes narrowing scornfully. “…Oh, I get it. You’re still hung up on him aren’t you? You’re still hoping that he’ll love you back. Isn’t that right?” There was no way to stop him now. The dam had been broken. The words were flowing entirely of their own accord, even though every pained look registered in his raging mind. Pangs of guilt shuddered through his body but Sungmin had been freed.

“…You really think that?” Ryeowook’s voice was quiet, fingers curling into fists. There were tears quivering around his eyes. “You think I’m that desperate…?”

“Well what do you think I should be _thinking?_ ” he exclaimed. “You’re running back to some dirt bag bastard! What other reason could there be? You just wanna rekindle your friendship with him or what?”

Ryeowook took a calming breath, words shaking, “Yes…that’s exactly it actually. I…I miss him. I really did and still do.”

“You’re saying you don’t love him then?” Sungmin sneered, jaw clenching. “You really think I’d believe that? If you didn’t love him then why would you bother even getting near someone as horrible as Kyuhyun?! He’s not worth being friends with! He’s not worth a damn—”

“—SHUT UP!”

Sungmin’s voice caught, eyes widening. …Had Ryeowook really just yelled at him?

But it was real – _far_ too real. The boy was glaring through tears, lips quivering. “I’m not in love with Kyuhyun! I’m in love with _you_ Sungmin! I fell so fast I didn’t even realize it!” his voice cracked and he quickly covered his mouth, eyes closing briefly. “I…I didn’t want to tell you that way…” he mumbled.

There was no time for Sungmin to react though as Ryeowook turned in the opposite direction of the dorms, hurrying away as fast as he could.

 


	10. Chapter 10

_Ryeowook leaned over Kyuhyun’s lap, gazing down at the source of conflict. “What’s going on, Kyu?”_

_Suddenly, the pink jacket fellow clambered to his knees, gaze fixed on Ryeowook. “Oh wow, you’re pretty cute. I didn’t think there were any decent looking people living outside of the Honors Dorm.” He smiled at Ryeowook. “I’m Sungmin, what’s your name?”_

_“Ryeowook…,” he replied, blushing at the perfect expression of happiness on the boy’s face. Without ill-intentions, Ryeowook had come to believe the same thing as Sungmin…_

Sungmin ran through the slush covered cobblestone, arms tight and swinging to propel his slight body forward. Cold wind was whipping at his eyes and exposed forehead, black hair spastically flying backwards. His eyes flitted to a bright and warm dorm building. The construction was familiar and nostalgic – a distant memory now.

Beyond the flurry covered glass he could see students gathered in the living room being spoken to by their Resident Advisor. They were apparently doing some sort of bonding activity. Sungmin smiled a bit, heat building up behind his thick scarf.

_Ryeowook breathed, watching his breath become like a heated dragon’s in the cold air. He broke into a grin, running up to be directly beside Sungmin. “Look, look, Dragon’s Breath!” Ryeowook huffed and a big puff of white air burst out in front of him. “Did you ever do that when you were little?”_

_Sungmin’s eyes smiled, the lower half of his face hidden behind a scarf, “I forgot what we called it but yeah we used to have contests and stuff! It was so awesome! I always won though.”_

_“Really?” Ryeowook’s eyes became large and he hugged the other boy’s arm for warmth._

He leaned against one of the buildings, catching his breath. Running hadn’t made him tired yet somehow his heart was beating rapidly.

Sungmin watched white puffs of air fall from between his lips. The shape was random and childish, feeling unfit to someone who would soon be eighteen and in college. There hadn’t been time to play around since his third year started. StudGov work was fun but at the same time incredibly tedious.

Inhaling deeply, Sungmin released a large white puff of air, watching it dissipate in front of him before continuing his wild sprint through the campus.

_“Wookie~!” Sungmin tackled Ryeowook off the bench and to the ground. The attacker nuzzled his best friend’s neck happily, arms wrapped around Ryeowook. “I was looking all over for you! The cooking club blew up something again and I was wondering if you could help?”_

_Ryeowook smiled, patting Sungmin’s back, “Sure, I don’t mind, Minnie…but you have to get off of me, hmm?” He laughed a bit, shifting beneath his friend’s weight._

_Dark eyes shot up at Ryeowook. “Not yet,” Sungmin whispered, attitude changing. Passersby whistled and howled at them. The ones playing sports turned to look, some of them blushing or shouting playfully._

_“Fan service again?” Ryeowook sighed. Sungmin nodded curtly. It was silly but the student body had taken a liking to the two of them. Ever since they entered high school a few months prior, the all-boys’ academy had become obsessed with the adorable pair. Having one idol to drool over was nice, but having two idols that “loved” skinship would keep the testosterone atmosphere fresher. And being the kindly youth that he was, Ryeowook couldn’t say no._

_“Mid-terms are coming up and everyone’s stressing,” Sungmin explained, holding the side of Ryeowook’s face and smiling cutely for the hidden cameras, “so it’d be good if we did a little extra for them.”_

_“Oh…alright, I guess that’s okay…,” Ryeowook murmured, blushing. He always felt uncomfortable when Sungmin got so close. The other boy was attractive after all._

_Sungmin winked, “Yeah, good little Wookie.” He leaned closer, getting ready to kiss Ryeowook’s cheek._

The wide open sports field just beyond the main square came into view. Sungmin flew past it, head tilting slightly at a particular stone bench on the outskirts of a concrete playing area. Snow covered everything now though, all of the days footprints disappearing slowly.

It was refreshing and just the tiniest bit sad. Why did everything always have to be forgotten or changed? Were things better that way?

Everyone wishes at least once in their life to have time freeze. So is change all that great?

 

_A moan rang through Sungmin’s ear and the boy immediately stopped moving. “Aw, no more struggling?” the guy mumbled, chuckling and licking his jaw, “I really liked it.”_

_“What is wrong with all of you?” Sungmin shouted at the top of his lungs, but the roar of the music beat him down. He pushed the person’s face away from his neck, receiving only more tongue action against his palm. “I’M NOT EVEN TRYING TO TURN YOU ON!” Sungmin tried to head butt the person but missed and let out a frustrated groan._

_His eyes wandered over to Ryeowook and his heart nearly stopped. The other boy was red faced even in the dark room Sungmin could tell. Minho had taken the liberty of kissing the boy as he continued feeling his slender body up. A trail of saliva slipped from the connected mouths and Sungmin felt the fury burst from him._

_“DON’T TOUCH HIM!” Sungmin tore out of the grip, adrenaline pumping rapidly through his veins as he knocked both of them over. He pushed Ryeowook out of the surprised loosened grip and went on to punch the older boy in the face. A momentary feeling of pride washed over him. It had taken too many tries to punch that rotten molester. Sungmin attempted to punch Minho again but was stopped by a larger, strong hand. He whipped around, freezing as he saw Kangin standing over him._

_Mir was behind the muscular third year, looking rather upset and red. Kangin on the other hand was glowering at Minho and Sungmin. “Both of you, up and in my office,” he ordered in a low voice, releasing Sungmin and stalking off._

_Minho smirked up at Sungmin, patting the first year’s head mock-sweetly. “Aw, getting in trouble just for me? You’re such a cutie, Sungmin.”_

_“Shut up,” Sungmin snapped, climbing off the other boy and grabbing Ryeowook’s hand. He pulled the uncomfortable looking boy to his feet and hugged him tightly. “Are you okay Wookie? I’m so sorry this happened,” he mumbled close to Ryeowook’s ear._

_“It’s okay, they were doing things to you too,” Ryeowook answered, sniffling and returning the tight hug. “I’m sorry you’re in trouble…”_

_“No big deal,” Sungmin laughed, “it’s not like it’s Teukie-hyung or the administration punishing me. Otherwise all of us would be in deep—”_

 

The sports field was shadowed by the forest closing in on Sungmin. He skidded around a building, stumbling through some moderately high and muddy snow piles. Dark trees swayed, sending white dust into the slicing wind.

If he looked hard enough, the path to KUG lit itself. Sungmin would never forget that day – the only day he had ever gone to the secret club.

 

_“Sungmin…I don’t really want to do this…,” Ryeowook said uneasily. The other boy was dragging him towards the auditorium, ignoring all of his partner’s words. “Really, this has never been my sort of thing…maybe we should choose something else…?”_

_“Stop being a wuss, Wookie,” Sungmin barked, turning an annoyed glare on the anxious boy. He pushed the door to the auditorium open, pulling Ryeowook in behind him. “Teukie-hyung said we need to get involved and this is the coolest thing I could find. Otherwise I’ll sign us up for cooking club and people will keep grabbing your butt when you bend over to take things out of the oven—”_

_“—Okay, okay!” Ryeowook exclaimed, covering Sungmin’s mouth. “Don’t say that so loud,” he mumbled, flushed and keeping his hand over the darker haired boy’s lips._

He swallowed hard, pausing just inside the Auditorium. The lights were on, sending hope through Sungmin’s chest. Quickly, the boy started jogging down the hallway, ignoring the burning of lungs and his urge to simply crumple from the swelling of emotions.

So many forces were daring to crush him in that moment but he bore it all, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut in an attempt to clear his whirling thoughts.

_But for Sungmin…he saw only the moment where true love parts ways. It was sort of sad…but at the same time, for who was it sad? The demented Phantom had lost to a normal, wonderful man in the fight for love; the wonderful man had won the hand of his beloved and saved her from the clutches of a dark enigma. Sungmin peered over at his companion. “I’m your Raoul, huh?” he said softly, reaching over to caress Ryeowook’s face._

_“Hmm?” Ryeowook turned his head, meeting the warm, gentle lips of Sungmin._

_He pulled away just a bit, eyes steadily gazing at the other. “The Phantom…he’s so much more alluring, isn’t he?”_

 

The non-descript door opened under Sungmin’s adrenaline powered hand. He steadfastly walked into the closet sized room and climbed the cold, metal ladder. Each rung was stiff, ready.

Over the edge, Sungmin peered through the darkness, sighing in relief as he spotted a hunched figure sitting on the Cat Walk. The lights from the auditorium seating area showed the huddled person’s face, just barely.

Sungmin removed his scarf, allowing the material to dangle around his neck as he crawled through the dark space.

 

_The door clicked open and Ryeowook curled his hand around Sungmin’s sleeve, other hand tightly holding the place over his burning chest. “Minnie…it hurts,” he croaked, squeezing his eyes shut in hopes of making the tears slow._

_Sungmin pulled the other boy into the room worriedly, hugging him gently. “Where’s your medicine? Do you need me to call the doctor?”_

_“I took the medicine…that’s why I don’t understand why it hurts,” Ryeowook explained through hiccups and sobs. “But there’s so much pain…I don’t know what to do, Minnie…!”_

_“What happened before all of this?” Sungmin asked softly, stroking Ryeowook’s soft hair and sitting him down on his bed._

_“Kyuhyun went to sleepover at his boyfriend’s room,” Ryeowook whispered, and suddenly he was lurching forward, gripping Sungmin with both hands and wailing loudly. “I don’t know why but it hurts every time I think about it..! If Kyu’s happy why am I not? I don’t want him to be sad…Minnie what’s wrong with me?” He looked up at his friend and saw tears running down the dark haired boy’s face as well._

_Ryeowook’s eyes widened and he caressed the other’s face with hands. “Why are you crying Minnie…? Does something hurt in you too…?”_

_Sungmin nodded, lips quivering. “You’re making me sad…,” he whispered, hiccupping and holding Ryeowook close to him._

_“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, still gazing into those melancholy black eyes. Ryeowook’s eyes shifted down to the pale pink lips shaking before him and a new question appeared among the mess of his brain. “Why did you kiss me so long ago?” he blurted._

_Sungmin’s eyes saddened even more. “Because you’re my most precious friend…and I want you to see that Kyuhyun won’t make you happy. He’s only—,” Sungmin cut himself off._

“Do you still remember?” Sungmin asked softly, nestling down beside Ryeowook. The latter didn’t reply, keeping his head down upon his pulled up knees. Exhaling, Sungmin gazed out at the empty stage, a memory flickering past. “The Phantom didn’t win the girl. She was captivated by him from the very beginning but she went with Raoul.”

Ryeowook finally looked up, red eyes rimmed with tears. “W-What…?” his voice broke and he tried to bury his face back into the safety of his knees.

Sungmin stopped him, hands coming up to hold either side of that beautiful face – the same face that caught him two and a half years ago. “I once told you that you’re my most precious friend. When I said all of that stuff earlier tonight…I was just angry.” He forced the lump in his throat down. “I…”

 

_Ryeowook leaned forward, pressing his lips against Sungmin’s gently. “…Then you’re my precious friend too…and I don’t want you to be sad…” He raised his eyes back up to meet Sungmin’s seeing the tears slowing and drying on that gently sloping face._

_They simply gazed at one another, each passing silent words but then carefully, slowly they felt their bodies adapting to the small space separating them. Ryeowook’s hands slipped down from the other boy’s face to rest on his shoulders. Sungmin fully enveloped the other with his arms, head tilting slightly as Ryeowook’s shifted the other way. And then their lips were meeting, softly, fleetingly._

 

“…I’ve loved you…as more than a friend for a long time, Ryeowook,” Sungmin whispered, brushing away stray brown locks obscuring the smaller boy’s widened eyes, “so please don’t say that you changed your mind…after what I said…”

And then Ryeowook was leaning forward, a sigh escaping his lips as their mouths met in a hurried, demanding kiss.

 

_Ryeowook felt his eyes close, as his lips moved in a secret rhythm against Sungmin’s. There was nothing heated about their touches, just the soft comfort of companionship. At the same time, it was nothing like Ryeowook had ever experienced before. It wasn’t like the forceful way Kyuhyun kissed, nor was it like the sloppy, wet contact of Minho._

 

Sungmin gazed hard into those lovely, liquid eyes. “Can we be together…?” He blushed, voice quivering far more than he would’ve liked. “We should be together…that’s what I mean.”

“I love you, Minnie,” Ryeowook stated through sniffles, laughing a little.

“What does that mean?” Sungmin’s head tilted in confusion.

“I love you lots, Minnie,” Ryeowook restated, slowly grinning.

“Does that mean you want to be with me?”

“I really, really love you, Sungmin.”

“…You can’t back out now,” the dark haired boy reminded, carefully entwining their resting fingers. Ryeowook simply pressed his lips to the other’s mouth, unable to suppress the smile on his face.

 

_Sungmin lightly tugged on Ryeowook’s lower lip with his teeth, eyes carefully opening to look at the latter. He reached his hands up, pushing the hair back from Ryeowook’s face. Their lips pressed harder against one another, both of their tears coming to a halt._

 


	11. Chapter 11

Dongwoon tested the microphone one more time, humming softly into the instrument. A loud sound resonated through the empty room and he grinned, pleased with the result. He flashed a thumbs up sign to the staff member helping him with the Raffle preparations. The worker nodded, going off to do something in another section of the staging area.

Jumping down from the black platform, Dongwoon caught sight of a handsome young man walking towards him. He was clad in black, lips turned up in a smile.

“Ah, Joon-hyung,” Dongwoon greeted bowing to the older male.

Joon stopped in front of the third year, patting his shoulder. “Good afternoon,” he replied, sharp features oddly warm, “how are things going for today’s event?”

“Fine,” Dongwoon answered, smiling, “we’re pretty much done. Now we just need to wait for the raffle drawing. I think Sungmin is out collecting all of the participants’ slips right now.”

“Oh, so does that mean you have some free time?” The tone of his voice caught Dongwoon’s attention. His eyes flickered with questions. Joon chuckled, saying, “It’s really nothing bad. I just wanted to talk to you…after seeing how close you are to Mir. It was really surprising.”

The younger male nodded slightly, carefully. “You’re really worried about him, huh?”

Joon sighed tiredly yet his gaze was fond. “Can you step away from this area or no?” His eyes moved around the vast Dining Hall.

“Yeah, I can,” Dongwoon affirmed, grabbing his jacket and following his hyung towards the exit.

They stepped into the cold, sunlit afternoon. It was strangely thrilling to feel the warm sun beating down while icy winds wrapped them. Dongwoon offered a small smile to the chill, snuggling deeper into his high collared coat, faux fur brushing against his skin tenderly.

Without speaking, Joon led them towards the park. All the while Dongwoon was studying the man, wondering what had prompted their current situation. If it had something to do with Mir then why wasn’t Joon talking to Taemin or well, Mir himself? It made no sense. Furthermore, Dongwoon had only known the person of interest for a year or so. Even Taemin knew him better.

So…what was going on?

“When did you get close to Mir?” Joon prompted casually, slowing his steps as they reached a portion of the man-made park that was empty.

Some benches floated around, along with trash bins and lamp posts. Dongwoon looked up, meeting the deep-colored eyes peering at him. “I’m not really sure. We just got along when we met last year,” he explained.

Joon nodded understandingly, “That’s no surprise. You two were really natural together. I’ve never seen Mir get along with someone so quickly.”

“Really? He’s close to Ryeowook and Sungmin as well. Plus he has a boyfriend. I doubt he’s incapable of getting along with others,” the fair haired boy remarked, astounded by the defensiveness of his tone. It hadn’t been purposeful…

A chuckle fell from the older male’s lips. “Yes, that’s true. But I was shocked to find out you weren’t the ‘boyfriend’.” Joon registered the confusion on Dongwoon’s face but continued explaining at his own pace nonetheless, “It just… _looked_ like you two were together. Or at least, something is going on between you two right?”

Dongwoon’s eyes widened. “What?” he replied a bit too quickly, sharply, “Nothing is going on as far as Mir is concerned. He doesn’t see anyone except for Taemin.” And damn it all if Dongwoon didn’t loathe that fact.

“Well I don’t think it’s quite like that,” the darkly clothed man said carefully, each word articulated, “Mir and Taemin are just similar.”

The young boy smothered a scoff. Clearing his throat, Dongwoon replied, “Are you sure you met _Taemin_ , hyung? Him and Mir…they’re absolutely nothing alike.”

Joon frowned, shaking his head. “No, no I’m positive they’re similar. They both have trust issues, relationship turmoil, and the inability to speak their mind clearly.” He turned around slightly, eyeing Dongwoon. “Really, it’s like having two of Mir around when I see them together.”

“Trust issues?” Apparently everything else had been tuned out. He knew Mir lacked social skills but hearing that he was all of those things…just put everything into perspective.

“Yeah, you know how he’s really awkward and gangly, sort of like he doesn’t fit in his own body?” Dongwoon nodded and Joon went on, “Well it’s not because he was born that way.” He sat down on the frozen fountain’s ledge, waiting for the younger boy to sit down beside him.

Joon released a heavy breath, eyelids falling a bit. “You know how all of us foster kids have a sob story?”

“Mmhmm…,” Dongwoon mumbled, dread sinking into the pit of his stomach to drench the already tight, poisonous knot. Did he really want to hear the rest of the story? Rather, why did Joon trust him with such information? It couldn’t only be because he and Mir looked like they were lovers. That was no reason to tell someone else’s life story to a possible stranger.

Then again, if Dongwoon actually had protests he may have said something. But what could he do? This was a chance to learn more about Mir. He wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity.

“Mir can’t remember anything before he was eleven.”

Dongwoon jolted, head whipping to clearly look at his hyung.

A stiff little nod from Joon, “Unlike some of the orphans around this school, Mir got put into foster care because his parents were mistreating him,” the man’s already dark eyes darkened further, “I overheard some adults speaking back then about Mir’s file and found out that his parents got a bit too rough one night and shoved their own son down a flight of stairs. Mir got a concussion from that which I guess led to enough brain damage for memory loss.”

“How…or what…,” Dongwoon closed his mouth, unable to form a coherent sentence. That was probably the first time in his life that words weren’t coming easily.

“While Mir was in the hospital, the doctors found severe bruising or something that is most often linked with child abuse so they took him away from his parents,” Joon explained, stretching his legs out in what appeared to be forced ease. “He really formed a…complex, you could say. People tried to explain to him what his life was like before the concussion but he just can’t absorb it. That’s one of the big reasons he studies so hard, I suppose. Being knowledgeable about everything but your own life…it’s sort of like compensating.”

Dongwoon was quiet for a long moment, feeling a pang of guilt for always being jealous of kids who had, had parents. Perhaps having no parents was better than having parents that didn’t love you – or in this case, parents that didn’t love you and that you couldn’t even remember.

“Why are you telling me so much?” he finally asked, glancing at Joon warily.

The latter fiddled with his gloved hands. “I want someone near Mir who knows about all of this. More importantly, at least someone aside from me can see why Taemin and Mir just don’t work. Do you see it?” Dongwoon shook his head very slowly and Joon smiled faintly. “They’re _too_ similar. I’m guessing Mir sees himself in Taemin’s lonely, guarded personality. Mir will always be there to comfort him but that’s not what either of them needs.”

“You really care a lot about Mir don’t you, Joon-hyung?” Dongwoon remarked.

“I was the one who took care of him when he first arrived at the house,” the other man murmured, “so I’m prone to worrying about his decisions.”

“So why is taking care of one another bad?” he mumbled, “Taemin and Mir-wise I mean.”

Joon got up, stretching out. “They’ll drag each other down. They’ll dwell on the past and be trapped. I want Mir to move forward – both of them, actually.”

“Is there a reason you know so much about ‘love’?” Dongwoon inquired, hoping to lighten up the atmosphere. He was struggling to bear all of the information dumped on him and if doing that meant plastering a smile to look comfortable he would do it.

“Mm…yeah, come to my lecture tomorrow and you’ll understand,” he stated off-handedly, walking back towards the campus, “I’ll be going first then. I hope…,” Joon glanced back at Dongwoon’s stiff figure, “…that you can take to heart what I said today.”

He didn’t reply because the older man was walking away too quickly but there was only one thought running through his mind. And that was _how could he help the situation?_

 ***

Ryeowook smiled to himself, a blush creeping over his pale cheeks. The weight surrounding his finger was unfamiliar, but a welcomed type of unfamiliar. He liked how the band encircled the base of his finger. What he adored the most had to be that Sungmin was wearing a matching one.

It had been an unexpected occurrence when they were walking back from their meeting on the Cat Walk. Sungmin stopped Ryeowook and pulled out the two ring boxes from their Valentine’s Week event. Slightly uncomfortable, Sungmin had explained he wanted to give one to Ryeowook earlier – just as friends – but now they could wear them as a couple instead. Then…everything felt right.

Being with Sungmin in general had always been great, now however it felt like their bond was stronger than anything else. It made the annoying butterflies in his stomach become delicious butterflies instead. It made his sweaty palms a display of excitement and joy instead of nervousness. It made his blushing face about love not embarrassment.  

“What’s that?” Kyuhyun’s hand pressed down on the desk’s surface, the heat of his leaning body warming Ryeowook’s backside. The standing boy gazed with half lidded eyes at the silver ring on his roommate’s finger.

Ryeowook felt a shiver roll up his spine and he whipped around just as Kyuhyun backed up. “O-Oh this?” he stuttered, toying with the accessory.

The taller one nodded – a towel around his neck from the shower he took.  His dark brown hair was damp and clinging to his face, framing the curious eyes. “Yeah, isn’t it from that couples thing?”

“Y-Yeah, you’re right,” Ryeowook replied, laughing anxiously as he stood up and moved around the room doing different, useless things. He wasn’t sure why his heart was beating so quickly. Was he that scared to tell Kyuhyun the truth? What harm would come to him after all? Or maybe…Ryeowook stopped tidying his already tidy blanket – did he just not want Kyuhyun to know…? He wasn’t ashamed of Sungmin. So…what was the sickly feeling in his stomach about?

Kyuhyun crossed his arms, leaning back against the table. “What is it?” His voice wasn’t exactly angry as much as tired.

“Ah…well…,” Ryeowook turned around to face Kyuhyun. He swallowed and sat down on the bed, unable to stay supported on his shaking legs. “I…I’m dating Sungmin now.”

“Why?” The response was so immediate that Ryeowook had to take pause. Kyuhyun’s expression stayed indifferent but after several years of being together, it was easy to see the slight clenching of his jaw and tightening of his shoulders.

Ryeowook shifted his feet, brushing against the floor, “Because I...lo – like him.” The word had caught in his throat, refusing to come out. Why couldn’t he tell Kyuhyun what he had easily admitted to Sungmin just a day ago? It felt almost…wrong to say he loved Sungmin now. Was it simply because Kyuhyun was the audience this time?

“What’s so special about that Stupid Bunny?” Kyuhyun questioned fast and cold, slicing straight through the smaller boy.

“I’m not really positive…,” Ryeowook said slightly guilty, “I just know that I—”

“—that you what?” he interrupted, arms falling to sides, fists solid. “Do you really think being with him is the right decision? You and I are supposed to be getting to know one another again and instead you go ahead and start a relationship with someone I hate?” Kyuhyun barked out a laugh, lips twisting in upturned anger.

Ryeowook’s eyes grew and he half stood up only to stop when he saw the other boy grab a jacket and head towards the exit, “Wait Kyu—!”

The door slammed shut, effectively silencing all arguments.

 

Donghae had the urge to run the in the opposite direction when he saw Kyuhyun. The look on his face was…indescribable. His cheeks were flushed red from probably walking around outside and the tips of his hair were iced over. If it weren’t for the livid fire in his eyes, Donghae would’ve thought he was a zombie – pale and blotchy red. Scary. It felt like if Donghae even greeted him, the world would end. And with that thought in mind, he took his chances and waved.

The most murderous glare fell upon him. Kyuhyun didn’t bother to subdue the flaring emotions instead he created an untouchable aura – one that sent people veering away. “Hey.” He replied, taking the seat opposite Donghae.

“Do you want anything to eat? I can get it for you,” the latter stated, already getting out of his seat.

Kyuhyun shook his head. “Sit.”

Donghae fell back onto the chair, limbs frozen.

“Have I ever told you how much I fucking hate Lee Sungmin?”

He shook his head vigorously, back straight, hands folded in lap.

Kyuhyun looked out through one of the Dining Hall’s windows. The lines of his face were grave, on-edge. “…What’s for dinner?”

“U-Uh I’m not sure,” Donghae stuttered, suddenly praying with all his might that Kibum would stop studying for one second and come eat with them. His survival instincts were telling him that being alone with Kyuhyun right that moment was…bad.

The dark eyed boy snapped to attention as a loud voice boomed through the bustling hall. “What the fuck is that?” he murmured.

Donghae shuddered at the tone and quickly launched into an explanation of the raffle event. Every student had the opportunity to enter the raffle earlier that day. The winner would be given two off-campus tickets for Valentine’s Day.

And being the nice friend Donghae was, he had stupidly entered Kyuhyun into the drawing. Now, as he watched his friend’s pulsing anger, he hoped Kyuhyun had been joking about winning everything. Sure, Donghae had seen him beat video games like a madman but maybe that concept of winning wouldn’t apply to contests…

“…and now we’ll see who the lucky winner is!” Dongwoon announced, smiling at the anticipating crowd. He reached into the box of, drawing out a folded slip of paper after a few seconds of rummaging. When he unfolded it, his eyes fluttered in brief surprise. “The winner is Cho Kyuhyun!”

Donghae slammed his head against the table.

On the other hand, Kyuhyun was staring at the stage. Dongwoon was walking towards him with an envelope, microphone in hand. Past him, still standing on the black platform, was the rest of the board. Kyuhyun noted with a little more than dissatisfaction that Sungmin and Ryeowook were closer than necessary, matching rings circling their middle fingers.

“So do you have anyone in mind?” Dongwoon questioned, placing the envelope in front of the winner and offering the microphone to him.

Kyuhyun nodded slowly, eyes locked on Sungmin. A vicious smirk curved his lips as he watched dread creep onto that Stupid Bunny’s face, “The president…Ryeowook.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

Mir pulled the pillow over his face, groans swallowed by the fluffy, white material. His body was shining with sweat, hair matted to forehead. Early morning light spilled in through the window, casting a bluish glow on Taemin’s lustful face.

The honey blonde smiled slyly, slowing his movements and pressing down on the other boy’s chest. “Don’t cover your face,” Taemin chuckled, tugging the pillow aside to survey the beautifully red and panting Mir, “See? You’re so much better this way.” He picked up the pace again, pushing down to force the slick length deeper inside of him.

A sweet little moan burst from Mir, torso jolting at what appeared to be the release. “S-Stop, Tae…,” he gasped, arms weakly lying on the twisted sheets.

“Mm…,” Taemin murmured, catching his breath as hot liquid filled him and he released as well. He collapsed on top of the spent boy, fingers coming up to caress that face. “That’s a new record!”

Mir muttered incoherently under his breath, mind spinning and foggy.

Every. Single. Time.

_Every._

_Single._

_Time._

Without fail, Taemin kept Mir up from midnight until dawn with “nightly activities”. He had so much energy it was ridiculous. Poor Minho had been sleeping in the RA’s room three times a week. The gesture was kind and all…but Mir sometimes wished Minho would refuse to leave and then Mir would be free to sleep in his warm bed back at the Honors Dorm.

“I’m sleepy,” Taemin sighed, rolling over and snuggling close to the other boy.

“Joon-hyung’s lecture is soon…,” Mir whispered, unable to raise his voice to normal speaking volume.

“Don’t we have a few hours?”

Mir checked the clock and nodded. “Yeah…I do…”

With a content noise, Taemin wrapped an arm around his lover’s waist. “Then we can sleep~!” They were quiet for a moment for two before Taemin once again spoke. It seemed he was still hyped up even after all of that. “…That guy, Dongwoon…he’s going out with someone now right?”

“I think they’re just going to the dance together…,” Mir replied, “s-so you don’t have to worry about anything anymore, okay…?”

Taemin hid a flush, glaring at a point on the blankets. “I wasn’t worrying,” he mumbled defensively, tightening his hold on Mir. “You’re mine anyway.” Slowly, Taemin relaxed, convincing himself fully.

“A-Ah…good,” he whispered, unable to help the grin that shaped his lips.  

 

“You don’t have to agree, Ryeowook!” Sungmin insisted as they walked towards the largest lecture hall on campus.

Last night had been a disaster with Kyuhyun blatant decision. It wasn’t as if Ryeowook could say no either. He was in a position where the only answer could be “yes”. How bad would it look if the president of StudGov refused to play along with one of the events?

Furthermore, when Ryeowook finally got home that evening, Kyuhyun was already in bed. There was no chance to plead with him to change his mind. In the morning he tried again but somehow the boy was already gone, his bed left undone. Ryeowook had sighed, fixed both of their beds and gone off to do his morning routines. Really, Kyuhyun was too good at getting what he wanted.

Actually, Ryeowook was still trying to figure out what he wanted in the present situation. It was obvious that Kyuhyun didn’t love Ryeowook…so was it really just because of Sungmin? Did he hate Sungmin so much?

“But I do, Sungmin,” he sighed, squeezing his boyfriend’s gloved hands, their fingers laced together in the early morning chill. “The student body would lose respect for all of us if I refuse to go along with my own idea.”

The dark haired boy frowned, climbing the steps of the lecture hall. Other students were making their way towards the building as well, offering greetings to the two upperclassmen as they passed. Ryeowook smiled and waved to anyone who said good morning; Sungmin followed his example, all the while biting his tongue from arguing anymore.

“I can’t believe Joon-hyung started a Matchmaker business,” Ryeowook remarked, trying to change the subject. “He never seemed interested in love…”

Sungmin took a slow, calming breath. “Yeah, that’s true. I never would’ve thought that’s where he would go.” He laughed a bit, “Maybe he needed some extra money?”

“Fine arts schools can be expensive,” Ryeowook giggled, glancing over at his lover. “…What do you think he’ll talk about today?”

“I don’t—”

Minho caught Sungmin’s shoulder, forcing the cute couple to a halt. “Hey, can we talk for a second?” The handsome boy appeared flushed and hurried, his fingers moving in the air aimlessly, anxiously.

At Ryeowook’s nod, Sungmin untangled their hands. “You go ahead and meet the others inside. I’ll be there soon.” He touched the side of his boyfriend’s face, tilting it up so he could press their lips together in a quick, flitting kiss.

“You two are dating?” Minho cocked an eyebrow.

Sungmin nodded as he released Ryeowook and moved towards the tall boy. In his peripheral vision, he saw the slender president shuffled towards the main lecture room. “He confessed after we got into a big fight…and then when I found him I told him I love him too,” Sungmin explained cheerily, “it felt good to finally let all of it out.”

“…Took you guys long enough,” Minho replied after a long pause, “I should’ve known it would be horribly adorable.”

The smaller of the two frowned, bumping Minho in annoyance. “You didn’t have to add that part. So what do you need?”

They stopped in a side corridor and turned to face one another. Minho leaned against one of the walls, sighing softly. “Okay, I know you probably want to spend time with Ryeowook on Valentine’s Day—”

“—Naw, Kyuhyun has him for Valentines.”

“How the _fuck_ does that work?” Minho asked, exasperated. For a second there he had really though everything was normal. Apparently that could never be the case.

“Doesn’t matter,” Sungmin muttered, “so what is it?”

Minho nodded. “I’m visiting Key on Valentine’s Day but he’s throwing a party as well. He told me to bring some friends for his friends…so…?” Before Sungmin could state the obvious, he added, “No, no you don’t have to hook up with anyone. I just meant that I don’t know anyone at that party aside from him so it’d be nice to have at least one familiar face. Besides, Taemin is going to be with Mir. Normally he would be the one going with me to these things.”

The sound of stifled laughter caught Minho off guard. Sungmin was covering his mouth, eyes turned up as if he were smiling behind that hand. “It’s okay,” he breathed, still trying to suppress the laughter, “I owe you a favor for saving me, so text me the details or something,” Sungmin started towards the lecture hall again.

Minho wasn’t sure if he was awake or asleep. Had Lee Sungmin really just agreed to spending time with him…without putting up a fight? It felt oddly strange – nearly refreshing. Whatever, it didn’t matter. He was going to relish in the triumph.

 ***

Joon surveyed the first row of students and smothered a sigh. It was incredibly...wrong, what he saw. At the very most left end was Kyuhyun, followed by Sungmin and Ryeowook. The latter two were exchanging soft whispers and smiles, hands touching on the surface of one of their desks. Beside Ryeowook were Minho, then Mir, Taemin and finally Dongwoon.

The whole set up made Joon wonder if it was purposeful – of course it was purposeful. Knowing their personalities, it would definitely have ended up looking like that. Forcing a smile, he bowed to the class and said, “I’m Lee Joon, co-owner of _Modern Matchmaker_. My fiancé Kim Jongwoon—”

“ _Fiancé?_ ” The front row blurted, Sungmin and Ryeowook staggering to their feet. They were seated next to each other and nearly collided in their haste.

Kyuhyun’s eyes flickered in surprise at the statement – then again, he didn’t really know Yesung or Lee Joon. They had always just been some hyungs in his first year.

Yesung glanced at them and smiled faintly. Casually, he lifted his hand, showing a plain white gold band on his middle finger. Joon offered a sheepish smile before clearing his throat and nodding at the shocked duo. “Yes, we aren’t getting married anytime soon. I just felt we were more than lovers. I wanted to show him that I was more serious than that, even if I can’t afford to do anything right this second.”

Ryeowook and Sungmin had settled down again, but the looks of shock were still plastered on their faces.

“Which brings me to the point of this whole lecture,” Joon stated, “I’m here to tell you all about an important part of life.” He removed the microphone from the podium, travelling across the floor. “Many of you either believe in love or believe in lust. However, there’s a third option that you’re missing.”

“You see, I don’t disagree with those of you who say love doesn’t exist. It’s very possible that love doesn’t exist,” Joon paused in his steps, eyes sliding over the troubling first row of seats. “What all of you may not realize is that there is one absolute in the illogical world of affections.” He walked back towards the large whiteboard and wrote down a single word.

_SOULMATE_

Joon turned back around to gauge their reactions. Most kept clean poker faces but some appeared to absorb each and every word coming from his mouth. “Soulmate,” he pronounced. “Even if you don’t believe in souls, there’s far more to it than the literal meaning. Soulmates are two people _born_ for one another. They were created to be together.”

“If you’re an Atheist, think of it this way,” Joon smiled, “a soulmate is someone who’s more than a friend, more than a lover. He or she is the only absolute in your life. He or she may not always be the person who stands beside you through thick and thin, but they will be the one and only person who you can never let go of. The world will always bring you two back together, no matter what.”

“However, can anyone guess what the difference between soulmates and,” Joon wrote down a second word right beside _SOULMATE_ , “love, is?”

No one answered, waiting for him to speak.

He tapped the board, saying, “Love is lucky. Love has to do with meeting and falling over the edge together. This person is the one who would be by your side through the hard times as well as the easy. Finding love…well, it’s a tricky business. There’s so much growth that comes with love, however love is fleeting.”

Joon tapped his chest right over his heart, “Love makes this little ticker go crazy. Love makes you see hearts and flowers. Love is blinding. It’s a beautiful experience, if you’re ever lucky enough to fall.”

“Now, the question is: Which one Soulmates or Love?” He gazed around the room, “Raise your hand if you would want to be safe and sound with your soulmate.”

A majority raised their hands, yet the entire first row didn’t.

Joon didn’t comment on the reaction from them and simply went on to ask, “Raise your hand if you would want to free fall with someone who helped you grow.”

And still, the front row made no move to answer.

“Do you guys not have an opinion or are you boycotting my lecture?” he chuckled, looking at the impassive faces.

Mir gave his hyung an apologetic look before casting his eyes back down.

Ryeowook and Sungmin shrugged uncomfortably, both hesitant.

Minho really looked as if he didn’t have an opinion.

Kyuhyun was stony faced as usual.

Taemin didn’t appear interested.

Dongwoon just smiled as if he were enjoying himself.

“Goodness…,” Joon muttered, straightening his back and walking back to the podium. “Alright, we’re going to pass out answer sheets now. Please make sure you get one and a pencil. We’ll be taking a compatibility quiz.” He heard whispers ripple through the crowd, mixed responses making their way to his ears. “If you have a lover, boyfriend, girlfriend outside of this academy, write down their address and we’ll send them a copy of the quiz if you want to see if you two are compatible. Otherwise we’ll match you up with anyone who takes the quiz at school.”

There was more hesitation and Joon chuckled, “Please don’t worry. Participation isn’t mandatory. If you feel uncomfortable go ahead and tell Yesung that you don’t need a sheet.”

Ryeowook smiled shyly up at Yesung who offered him a pencil and answer sheet. “T-Thank you, Yesung-hyung,” he managed, a bright red blush on his face.

“You’re welcome, Ryeowook,” that wonderful voice replied before moving on to give supplies to the rest of the line.  

Truly, the slender boy could’ve swooned right then and there. Sungmin’s mouth quirked up in amusement and he nudged his boyfriend. “After that many years you’re still hyung’s fanboy?”

“He’s so cool…,” Ryeowook sighed dreamily, ignoring the teasing.

Sungmin rolled his eyes, knowing that he just lost.

After several more minutes of shuffling and organizing, the students were ready to take questions. Joon had, in the meantime, pulled the projector down and loaded the quiz. “I’m going to display each question. Please answer them as truthfully as you can for the best results. Oh, and don’t peek at your friends’ answers. Their choices won’t help you for the most part.” The attractive man pressed a button and the first question popped up.

 


	13. Chapter 13

_Q1. When you disagree with someone do you…_

  1. _Get angry and defensive_
  2. _Stay calm_
  3. _Say things you don’t mean but that could hurt the other person_
  4. _Cry and beg for forgiveness_



Kyuhyun: C

Sungmin: A

Ryeowook: D

Minho: B

Mir: B

Taemin: A

Dongwoon: B

 

_Q2. Are you…_

  1. _Firm_
  2. _Gentle_
  3. _Indifferent_
  4. _Aggressive_



Kyuhyun: A

Sungmin: D

Ryeowook: B

Minho: C

Mir: B

Taemin: D

Dongwoon: A

_Q3. Are you more comfortable…_

  1. _After making a decision_
  2. _Before making a decision_



Kyuhyun: A

Sungmin: B

Ryeowook: A

Minho: B

Mir: B

Taemin: B

Dongwoon: B

_Q4. Do you enjoy travelling?_

  1. _Yes_
  2. _No_
  3. _Depends on where I’m going and who I’m going with_
  4. _Sometimes_



Kyuhyun: C

Sungmin: D

Ryeowook: C

Minho: D

Mir: B

Taemin: A

Dongwoon: B

_Q5. Physically, I am…_

  1. _Tall, dark and handsome_
  2. _Medium-build, attractive_
  3. _Average_
  4. _Small and often mistaken for a girl_
  5. _None of the above_



Kyuhyun: A

Sungmin: C

Ryeowook: D

Minho: A

Mir: E

Taemin: D

Dongwoon: E

_Q6. Physically, I would like a partner who is…_

  1. _Tall, dark and handsome_
  2. _Medium-build, attractive_
  3. _Average_
  4. _Small and often mistaken for a girl_
  5. _None of the above_



Kyuhyun: D

Sungmin: A

Ryeowook: A

Minho: D

Mir: E

Taemin: E

Dongwoon: E

_Q7. I am…_

  1. _Moody and easily annoyed_
  2. _Happy-go-lucky_
  3. _Responsible and friendly_
  4. _Quiet and calm_
  5. _None of the above_



Kyuhyun: A

Sungmin: C

Ryeowook: C

Minho: E

Mir: D

Taemin: B

Dongwoon: C

_Q8. I would like a partner who is…_

  1. _Moody and easily annoyed_
  2. _Happy-go-lucky_
  3. _Responsible and friendly_
  4. _Quiet and calm_
  5. _None of the above_



Kyuhyun: C

Sungmin: D

Ryeowook: A

Minho: B

Mir: C

Taemin: D

Dongwoon: D

_Q9. My favorite colors are…_

  1. _Light and soft_
  2. _Dark and strong_
  3. _Bright_
  4. _Eye-catching_
  5. _Neutral and earthy_



Kyuhyun: D

Sungmin: A

Ryeowook: A

Minho: B

Mir: E

Taemin: C

Dongwoon: E

_Q10. I like…_

  1. _Partying until late_
  2. _Staying home_
  3. _Hanging around during day hours_
  4. _Being alone_



Kyuhyun: B

Sungmin: C

Ryeowook: B

Minho: C

Mir: D

Taemin: A

Dongwoon: D

_Q11. When I am in a relationship I…_

  1. _Want to spend all my time with him/her_
  2. _Act like we’re just friends_
  3. _Think we should only be together on dates_
  4. _Open up and trust him/her with everything_



Kyuhyun: D

Sungmin: A

Ryeowook: D

Minho: D

Mir: D

Taemin: A

Dongwoon: D

_Q12. I read…_

  1. _Novels and literature_
  2. _Textbooks_
  3. _Fiction_
  4. _Non-fiction_



Kyuhyun: B

Sungmin: C

Ryeowook: C

Minho: D

Mir: A

Taemin: C

Dongwoon: A

_Q13. When I want something…_

  1. _I take it by force_
  2. _I do everything I can to get it_
  3. _I wait for it to come to me_
  4. _I beg for it_
  5. _None of the above_



Kyuhyun: A

Sungmin: B

Ryeowook: E

Minho: C

Mir: C

Taemin: A

Dongwoon: B

_Q14. Which of the following would you be unable to forgive?_

  1. _Cheating_
  2. _Lying_
  3. _Sneaking around_
  4. _Continuous lack of trust_
  5. _I could forgive anything_



Kyuhyun: E

Sungmin: A

Ryeowook: E

Minho: D

Mir: D

Taemin: D

Dongwoon: E

_Q15. What would you want as a present?_

  1. _Something home-made_
  2. _Something expensive_
  3. _Something thoughtful_
  4. _Something small_
  5. _Nothing, I don’t like presents_



 

Kyuhyun: C

Sungmin: C

Ryeowook: A

Minho: D

Mir: E

Taemin: C

Dongwoon: E

 

Chapter 20

 

[Selection of the Results]

 

Ryeowook:

            Kyuhyun – 98%

            Sungmin – 76%

            Minho – 53%

            Mir – 45%

            Dongwoon – 43%

            Taemin – 12%

 

Sungmin:

            Minho – 95%

            Ryeowook – 76%

            Mir – 55%

            Dongwoon – 56%

            Kyuhyun – 20%

            Taemin – 15%

 

Kyuhyun:

            Ryeowook – 99%

            Sungmin – 18%

            Mir – 14%

            Taemin – 10%

            Dongwoon – 4%

            Minho – 2%

 

Minho:

            Sungmin – 94%

            Taemin – 88%

            Ryeowook – 73%

            Mir – 62%

            Dongwoon – 35%

            Kyuhyun – 3%

 

Mir:

            Dongwoon – 100%

            Ryeowook – 74%

            Taemin – 43%

            Sungmin – 40%

            Minho – 21%

            Kyuhyun – 7%

 

Taemin:

            Minho – 90%

            Mir – 40%

            Sungmin – 31%

            Ryeowook – 28%

            Dongwoon – 25%

            Kyuhyun – 17%

 

Dongwoon:

            Mir – 100%

            Ryeowook – 80%

            Sungmin – 65%

            Minho – 30%

            Taemin – 24%

            Kyuhyun – 8%

 

***

Ryeowook tapped the piano keys, absently noting the reflection of fingernails against white. The pressure of his fingers did nothing to upset the silent music room. Almost reluctantly, he gazed forward at a pale pink card blocking his sheet music. Written on the card were results, the numbers slowly burning into his mind…

 

Sungmin stepped down the final steps of a building and walked through the bustling campus. Normally he would tighten his pink scarf against the winter weather but his mind was far too preoccupied with other things. Specifically, he was focused on the quiz results in hand…

 

Kyuhyun rolled over, dropping the math textbook with a thoughtless thump. It bounced softly on the mattress, bending at an awkward angle. He lay on his backside now, unfolding a sheet of cardstock and staring up at it intently…

 

Minho leaned against a building, deciding he had nowhere else he wanted to be. For a moment he wanted to relax and be alone – away from all of the people that could send him spiraling into stress. The cold wind spiked his senses and nipped at his nose but it was also violently whipping the results card in his tight grip…

Mir twirled his pencil, tapped his foot and shifted in the wooden chair. Snow trickled from the sky, brushing against the large, arching window beside him. Sighing, he attempted to refocus on the full text pages. Without meaning to, he continuously sneaked glances at the colored card resting beside his open notes…

 

Taemin perched on a windowsill in his dorm building, playing with the stick paper. It flailed in the air before him, numbers and names blurring with movement. He watched it carefully yet carelessly, a battle raging beneath the surface of that pretty face…

 

Dongwoon yawned, stretching out in the chair. No one else was around him, the door to his Tech Shop office shut. The space was dark and somewhat cluttered but it had always offered a sense of security, of paused time. But in that particular moment, it was the only thing keeping his mind and body calm against the words printed on a fine card that laid on the surface of his desk…

 

All the while, none of them knew that this was just the beginning.

 


	14. Chapter 14

_~Love Letter~_

_13 February 20XX_

_Dear Minnie,_

_Who better to write a letter to than my best friend and boyfriend? I wasn’t really sure what to tell you so I’m just writing as I go. I’ve really been thinking about Joon-hyung’s quiz…I think all of us have actually. But I know that love and logic don’t mix._

_A quiz like that can’t determine something like my feelings or my soul. I should know my soul the best don’t you agree, Sungmin? After all, my soul and I are inseparable! (Small joke, sorry…) Anyway, I hope you don’t think too much about it either. I didn’t see your score but from what I saw on our compatibility chart…I’m not your top match am I?_

_You can probably guess who managed to be my best match, hmm?_

_But really!! Don’t worry at all! We’re together and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I’m not just saying that because I want to make you feel better (if you’re feeling down I mean). Well, of course I always want you to feel good and happy…ah, I’m not sure what I’m saying anymore._

_Just know that you’re the one that makes my heart beat faster. You’re the one who makes me smile. You’re the one who helped me when everyone else left._

_If someday we’re not together though…if someday something happens, you should know that you’ll always be my First Love; the kind of love that Joon-hyung was talking about._

_We fell together and I would never fall with anyone but you._

_You’re my love, Sungmin._

_Yours Truly,_

_Ryeowook_

_~Love Letter~_

_13 February 20XX_

_Dear Ryeowook,_

_Hmm…I wish I could send this after reading yours so I could have a better letter but I guess it doesn’t work that way. Why did we decide to mail them all out at once? Oh well, we can’t do anything about that now._

_So what should I say to you? Wait, I know! I’ll talk about the time I realized I love you. I’ve never told you the story have I? Actually, no one knows because it’s sort of embarrassing…_

_It was after our orientation night when Kyuhyun, you and I got into that whole fight thing. It was also our first meeting. I knew right away that I was attracted to you. Really strange, to be honest because I’ve always liked really manly and handsome people…not to say you aren’t those things, Wookie! It’s just…you’re too cute to be “tall, dark and handsome”. See? Our love has to be true considering I broke all the rules when I became attracted to you._

_Ah right, so the first time I felt my face grow red and my heart beat faster for you was two months into our friendship and fan service – which thank goodness is done. That was horrible, being used like that I mean._

_Well, I was walking along and saw Kyuhyun. I wanted to go over there and tease him because he’s just such a jerk and I’ve always wanted to see him flustered. When I was sneaking up behind him though, I saw you appear from somewhere. You took his arm, all smiles and sparkling eyes. It felt like the world slowed down. Maybe I should’ve been upset but I wasn’t._

_I fell right then and there._

_I fell for your obvious adoration of him._

_Strangely it wasn’t jealousy. What I wanted was to be looked at like that. I wanted your smile for myself. I wanted to be Kyuhyun so you would look up with happiness, only at me. It took so many years…but I guess you’re finally looking at me like that, huh? I hope so at least._

_Let’s make a lot of memories together. I want to remember what being in love is like. I just…I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I ever lost the feeling I have right now. You’re my favorite person in the world Ryeowook, lover or not. You’ll always be my favorite._

_Love,_

_Sungmin_

_~Love Letter~_

_13 February 20XX_

_Dear Taemin,_

_Happy almost Valentine’s Day! I’ve never been good at talking and it has always been easier to write. So this way, maybe it will be easier for my thoughts to come across._

_First, I’m happy that we’re lovers. I’m really happy, actually. I’m still new at all of this, relationships and friendships, alike. Sometimes I don’t know what to say to you that’s why I hope you know it’s not because I don’t care about you. I just can’t talk._

_Second, don’t listen to Joon-hyung’s quiz. It’s not true. And if it is...I have a choice. I don’t want to be with my soulmate if that person isn’t you. My whole life has been told back to me like a story and I don’t want to keep living in the dark. I just can’t be told again that another decision has been made for me. You’re the one that made me fall so hard and that’s not going to change because a quiz tells me we aren’t compatible._

_You stuck with me through the descent. No one else did._

_That means you’re irreplaceable._

_My heart calls out to you._

_My soul may not but I trust my heart a lot more than I do my soul._

_We have our ups and downs but I want to get through it all. I want to see where we can get together. There are so many things I want to know about you and hopefully you’ll tell me._

_If it isn’t clear yet, my answer to Joon-hyung’s question is easy: Love_

_Mir_

_~Love Letter~_

_13 February 20XX_

_Dear Mir,_

_I’m really not good with words. I know it sounds like I’m good at talking sometimes but I just don’t know how to act around you anymore. You make me feel all weird inside. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing._

_When I see you my heart gets funny and my face feels warm. When I see you and Dongwoon together I feel all of this anger and frustration. When the two of us are together I don’t want to let you go. I just want you to stay all the time._

_At first, all of this pissed me off. But then Minho explained it to me. Maybe it’s because I really like you. I think that’s the reason. I’ve never liked anyone…I’ve never tried being someone’s lover either. You’re the first ever, Mir._

_I’ll admit it. The quiz results scare me. I don’t want you to leave me because of it. I know that you’re close to Joon-hyung and that you trust him a lot but I don’t think he’s right this time. We’re better than you and Dongwoon. I know we can be better if we spend more time together. I just know it._

_So don’t listen to him, okay? I feel pathetic begging but please, just don’t go away. I’ve never felt this way. I’ve never had this kind of warm and fuzzy feeling around someone, not even Minho. I don’t want to lose it, not this fast._

_I really wish I could’ve read your letter first but they’re sending them out in a few minutes._

_Sincerely,_

_Taemin_


	15. Chapter 15

(Unsent Love Letters)

 

_Dear Sungmin,_

_I just wanted to write this because I needed to. I’ll never send it though. I know you’re happy with Ryeowook. Hell, I’m happy to see you two together after all the stuff that’s happened over the years._

_But we’ve been through stuff together too. I feel like you just can’t see it. Even though you and I were in the exact same position you just couldn’t open your eyes and turn to see me standing right there. I was looking at you and cliché as ever, you were looking at Ryeowook. I mean…why couldn’t you tell that I really liked you – then and now? Fine, I’ll admit that I didn’t help myself by playing around so much and that whole sleeping with Taemin thing was just bad on my part. But the other times, the times when it was you and me._

_What about when we went out to the city that one night shopping? I’ll never forget when I stumbled upon you looking at that pink and white striped sweater. I thought “Damn…he’s so cute.” You never let your guard down so seeing that was just…great. And then afterwards when you trusted me with your story? I still stay up sometimes thinking about it._

_Did you ever tell Ryeowook about it? Did you ever trust anyone else with that history? I don’t think you did. I hope you didn’t. I really like being the only one who knows._

_The saddest part though is that I can’t be with you. As much as I’d love to steal you from Ryeowook I couldn’t do that to either of you. Plus, I doubt you would go down without a fight. I wonder if you two are meant for each other. I’m betting you don’t believe in that quiz thing. I do though. Then again, I’m praying you would someday realize that it’s not bullshit. It could be real. Our percentage could be more than just a statistic. We could make it real._

_As for Key…well, I do love him. I loved him a long time ago too. But as a lover, I’d take you in a heartbeat. He and I were sweethearts but when I’m with you, I know we’re soulmates._

_A soulmate means a lot more to me than some first love. Key will always be important…but he’s not you._

_Minho_

_Dear Mir,_

_I smile every time I see you and for the life of me I wish I knew. You’re gloomy and awkward and nervous and jumpy, yet that just comes off as precious. When I see you freak out from being sneaked up on I want to laugh and hug you. Which I suppose I do sometimes, huh?_

_I can’t help it! You saw our results. I believe in them. I really do. And I know that you’ll deny it but it’s the truth. I can see it in your eyes when I’m with you. You’re at ease. You can be yourself. You feel something special when we’re together and I do too. Why else do you think we have perfect compatibility?_

_Forever and always I’ll be everything you aren’t. Forever and always you’ll be everything I’m not._

_You’re smart. I’m sort of dumb._

_You had parents. I never did._

_You can’t remember. I can._

_You’re nervous. I’m outgoing._

_You’re quiet. I’m loud._

_You’re awkward. I’m casual._

_You work hard. I don’t._

_You think about your friends. I didn’t have friends to think about._

_You dream. I didn’t dream until I started thinking about you._

_I could go on and on. I’m not going to lie and say I think about you all the time. But for the most part, I am thinking about you. Constantly I wonder when you’ll be around for the club meeting. Or sometimes I’ll sit up in bed waiting for you to get back from your sleepovers with Taemin._

_All of this…all of it is because I want to be your other half. I’m already your other half in name so why can’t we be one in reality?_

_And you know what? There’s no doubt we’re soulmates so don’t even fight me. How do I know, you ask?_

_If we weren’t soulmates then I wouldn’t know, without a doubt, that if I sent this letter you would be upset. You would be upset because your heart beats for Taemin. Your soul pulsates with mine but I’m not the heartbeat that syncs with yours._

_So I’m not sending this letter even though I swear to all holy things…I just won’t._

_I’ll write you another one sometime, one that I’ll actually send._

_With All My Love,_

_Dongwoon_

_~~Dear~~ _ _ Zhoumi,_

_You suck._

_You were the worst fucking boyfriend ever._

_I try to be logical and say I don’t care but I do care. I care that you stomped all over me like I was nothing and then ran off to be happy with some blonde._

_Did you ever think about all the stuff you put me through? Should I list it off?_

  1. _You cheated on me because you thought I cheated._
  2. _You never tried to fix the misunderstanding from #1._
  3. _You waited for me to come crawling back to you._
  4. _You were sneaking around behind me back. Seriously, I’m not that stupid. I had an idea of what was going on. I may not have known for sure, but really? Am I that naïve in your eyes?_
  5. _You went to someone else for emotional support._
  6. _You said you loved me while sleeping with someone else._
  7. _You couldn’t decide between me and Eunhyuk._
  8. _#7 shows you didn’t really love me. You only liked me._
  9. _You never apologized for doing all of this._
  10. _You never said goodbye._



_Kyuhyun_


	16. Chapter 16

Mir disassembled the final cardboard box and shoved it precariously on top of a pile. Dust and dirt flew up but he ignored it, relishing in the feeling of finally being done. There had been _so many_ love letters. He had, had no idea reformers cared about sending lovers letters for Valentine’s Day.

Originally, Ryeowook told Mir that StudGov ordered a surplus of cards for future usage but they had used up every single piece of stationary. It was a rather impressive feet.

“Done?” Dongwoon inquired, stepping out of the Tech Shop office. In his hand was a folded sheet of paper.

Mir nodded, eyeing the slip curiously. What could it be? Tomorrow was a day off so it couldn’t have possibly been a school assignment; if it was, Mir would have to tell Dongwoon how wrong it was to fold paper that had to be submitted for class. The possibility of the sheet being a StudGov assignment was also low considering tomorrow was the final event and Ryeowook, as president, would have all of the documents organized already.

“Yeah, it’s done,” Mir replied, checking the clock on the wall. Red, digital numbers displayed themselves on the black panel: 11:45

Dongwoon smiled a tad breathlessly as if he had just been running around. “Thanks for doing all of that. I really needed to finish this,” he waved the paper in the air before walking towards Mir and placing it in his hand.

“What is…it?” Mir mumbled, unfolding it to see a series of percentages. After a second or two of studying it, his eyes grew.

A satisfied grin broke the flushed smile and Dongwoon nudged the smaller boy’s shoulder. “What are you waiting for? I want to be heading home by midnight.”

“Right, sorry,” he answered unsteadily, hurrying out to the stage and climbing down some steps, through the auditorium and up through the exit at the topmost seats. Mir reread the light positioning instructions as he neared the Sound Booth, opening the heavy black door.

Carefully, he shifted the controls, making sure to follow the instructions closely. It looked as if Dongwoon had spent a great deal of time on it. Mir didn’t want all that work to go to waste because of carelessness.

It took several minutes to get all of them right, but once it was perfect, he took a slow breath and lowered the main stage lights.

Multi-colored spotlights spilled onto the performance floor, arranging itself into a large, transparent heart. Mir felt his chest tighten, words getting caught in his throat. What had Dongwoon…done?

A hand pressed down on Mir’s shoulder, jolting the boy. “Look down,” Dongwoon stated, leaning over the smaller boy in the dark Sound Booth.

Mir’s gaze lowered and he couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face. The drab white keys of the control panel were arranged into letters.

_V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E-S_

Valentines,” he read, tilting his head back to say thank you for the present.

Before a single word could fall from his lips though, he froze. The tightness of his chest loosened as his heart quickened. Why did Dongwoon have to look at him like that? Why did he have to make Mir feel like they were more than just friends? Couldn’t friends be intimate without being romantically intimate? So…why was it they always felt romantically intimate when they were alone together?

He didn’t like it. He knew Taemin didn’t like it.

Yet, there was nothing he could do without making Dongwoon feel uncomfortable – that’s what the online blogger said anyway.

_Friendships are built on trust and compatibility. The second you make your friend distrust you or feel insecure around you is the moment you know you’ve done something horribly wrong._

“Ah, it was tricky getting those two things to match up,” Dongwoon rolled his eyes, exasperation evident in his voice, “I had to reposition the lights so many times so the words would line up like that on the sound board.”

“It’s really cool…thanks,” Mir replied stiffly, “I’ve never had someone spend so much time on something…for just me before.”

Dongwoon just smiled.

A buzzing shattered the moment.

Mir took out his phone, seeing a text message from Taemin.

**Taemin says: Come over tonight!!**

**I say: Sure, I’ll be over in a few minutes.**

“You’re heading out, then?” Dongwoon asked, casually.

Mir nodded awkwardly. “Yeah…Taemin wants me to come over.” He shut down all the lights, feeling a small pang of guilt for cutting it all. Maybe he should’ve taken a picture first.

Silence passed between them, the sort of silence that Mir hope wouldn’t exist between him and his friends. So, doing his best, he asked, “S-So how are t-things with K-Kikwang?”

Dongwoon twisted the knob of the door, offering a very strained grin, “Well, it’s just a dance date. I’m not sure what you expect me to say.”

“O-Oh…sorry,” he mumbled.

“No. Don’t be sorry,” the taller of the two shook his head, “maybe hanging out with new people will be good for me.” One foot crossed the threshold but then he stopped and glanced back at Mir, “Happy Valentine’s Day. You deserve a lot more than you’re getting Mir. Just remember that.” Then he left.

Mir slumped back against the table of equipment. There was something horribly wrong between them.

 ***

Ryeowook pressed his hand against Sungmin’s cheek, smiling warily at the pout on his lover’s face. “C’mon Minnie, cheer up,” he attempted, sliding his other arm around the black haired boy’s waist.

“It’s our first Valentine’s Day as a couple and we’re spending it with different people! How can you expect me to be okay with that?” he grumbled, nuzzling into Ryeowook’s warm palm.

Their bodies were close together as they stood outside, sun setting over the horizon. Long shadows were dragged through the trees, daring to graze them. February 13th wasn’t particularly cold. In fact, the night was to near 40 degrees Fahrenheit with low winds. The weather was absolutely perfect for what Sungmin had in mind.

“I know, but we can’t do anything about it,” Ryeowook sighed. His eyes fluttered in surprise as Sungmin’s arm came around him, pulling them flush. “Hmm?” he mumbled, gazing up at the smooth skinned, dark haired beauty.

Soft lips pressed down on Ryeowook’s, washing away any and all chills that had been gnawing at his body a few moments earlier. The touch was exactly like he remembered years ago. They were able to move in synch, neither dominating but rather grasping on. It felt as if no one could see them, hear them, _realize_ the secret rhythm created in their kiss. No matter how gentle the pressure, Ryeowook’s breath was always taken away.

When Sungmin pulled away, his eyes were lowered on the petite boy – absorbing the flushed features, red lips, reopening eyes…all of it. “Well…I guess I can forgive you if you spend the whole night with me.”

Ryeowook’s jaw slackened. “S-Sungmin?” he squeaked, looking around anxiously.

The words played back in his mind and then a dark blush was working its way onto his pale cheeks. “N-No! Not like that…,” Sungmin stuttered, backing up a little, “I just want to spend the first few hours of Valentine’s Day with you. That’s okay isn’t it?”

“Oh,” Ryeowook seemed to exhale with relief, “yeah, that’s fine. I want to be with you on that day too and now we can be.”

Sungmin frowned, lacing their gloved fingers together. “What? You don’t want to sleep with me?”

Ryeowook decided against answering that question, instead squeezing the other boy’s hand and heading off towards the Dining Hall.

***

The door clicked shut behind them.

Most of their dorm mates were sound asleep except for a few who were to be avoided at all costs. How bad would it look if two board members were sneaking around after lights out? They were abusing their positions in a sense. Not that it mattered to either of them.

Well, perhaps Ryeowook was a bit bothered but he could ignore it so long as Sungmin’s smile flashed every once in a while as they raced down the hallway.

Another turn, another hallway and then they were ascending a hidden staircase leading to the outside world. Ryeowook pulled his jacket tighter around himself, struggling to adjust when his hand was tightly held by Sungmin’s.

“Stop messing around Wookie,” his lover teased, noticing how much Ryeowook was troubled by his awkwardly buttoned coat.

“Sorry,” the president mumbled, stifling a small laugh.

Cold air washed over their heated skin sending chills running through their veins. The metal door was propped open by a pipe, ensuring they could get back inside without a hassle. Sungmin turned around after securing it to see Ryeowook willingly climbing a ladder.

“Why can you climb that so easy but struggle with the Cat Walk?” he remarked, following his boyfriend up through the chilly night.

“I don’t struggled with it anymore,” Ryeowook huffed, waiting patiently for Sungmin to get atop the platform.

“Is it because our best moments are in high places?” Sungmin asked, shuffling over to wrap his arms around the other boy for warmth.

Ryeowook blushed and hugged him back, spinning around in a circle to keep from falling over. “Maybe…,” he mumbled, considering the statement. Really, that could have been the case.

They sat down on the rooftop, legs dangling over the side of an upraised platform in the center of the area. It was the same sort of scene Ryeowook had experienced back when Henry still attended school. The only difference was the missing musician’s silhouette. Other than that, Ryeowook could still see the bright white moon, dark blue sky and everything in between.

Had Sungmin known about Ryeowook’s secret rooftop adventures? Rather, had Ryeowook accidentally told Sungmin about his secret rooftop adventures?

“What are you blanking out for?” the black haired boy nudged him, doe eyes shining in the night.

“I’m just remembering things,” Ryeowook answered softly, a pang of sadness stinging his heart. Henry and YoungSaeng were already moving on in life. It sort of felt as if Ryeowook was the only one left. Where did he want to go? Did he want to be a composer? Or were there other things…he closed his eyes, shaking away the thoughts.

It was almost Valentine’s Day. He should be thinking about the current situation. Looking into the future did nothing for him.

“Sorry, Minnie,” he apologized, leaning on the other one’s shoulder. “I’m happy right now…just with you.”

“I really wish sometimes that we could’ve had more of these moments,” Sungmin murmured, “you know, in the past.” His gloved hand covered Ryeowook’s. “Do you think high school would’ve been more fun if you had never known Kyuhyun?” The question was blurted – a horrible slip of the tongue.

Ryeowook blinked a few times, considering the question. The silence somewhat unnerved Sungmin but when he saw the former wasn’t upset, relief doused his panic. Really, why did such words come out?

“I…I guess no,” he said after a long moment, “because without him I would’ve never seen all of the things I saw.” Ryeowook smiled faintly, leaning forward so he could see Sungmin’s face more clearly.

“What are you talking about?” The latter raised an eyebrow.

“He was my motivation to make so many mistakes and without him, I’m sure I would’ve never met YoungSaeng or known what living was like.” Ryeowook heard the bell tower chime in midnight and without hesitation, he pushed up, lips catching Sungmin’s. He backed away then, grinning in amusement. “We should talk about other things. It’s Valentine’s Day now so no more talking about Kyuhyun.”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you willingly stop talking about him,” Sungmin muttered.

Ryeowook frowned, “You’re spoiling the first minute of the holiday, Minnie.”

Sighing, he pulled the slim boy against his body and kissed him full on the lips. There was no point in venting his annoyance. They were together. It wasn’t Ryeowook and Kyuhyun anymore. That was the important thing.

Sungmin and Ryeowook. Ryeowook and Sungmin. Whichever way you put it, it sounded as if it were just the two of them. But he knew, _he knew_ , it wasn’t that simple.

You can say “I love you” and you can say “I miss you”. Still, they’re just words. They’re just noises. Anyone can portray it but when it comes to reading the heart, surely the truth comes out.

Sungmin and Ryeowook weren’t “Sungmin and Ryeowook”.

“Sungmin and Ryeowook” could be read by a heart and exposed as Sungmin and Ryeowook, Kyuhyun.

But why spoil the present? Why spoil the lies? Sungmin deepened their kiss, eyes squeezing shut against the pulsating truth. Ryeowook was his. Someday, he would make “Sungmin and Ryeowook” the heart’s truth.

 


	17. Chapter 17

There were many things he should have been doing. For one, the dance needed verification on a number of matters. For another, he hadn’t finished composing a piano piece for class. Those were supposed to be his two top priorities while waiting for the romantic hours of Valentine’s Day. Or, even better, perhaps Ryeowook should have been spending time with Sungmin, getting lost in those large, twinkling chocolate eyes.

Yet somehow, he wasn’t doing any of that. Instead, Ryeowook was fussing over what to wear. Over and over again the little voice in his head told him that it didn’t matter. Kyuhyun wouldn’t care because he didn’t like Ryeowook as more than…well, as more than a stranger basically.

It was just ridiculous and a waste of energy to throw shirt after shirt out of the way in hopes of finding the perfect outfit for someone who wouldn’t give a flying rat’s ass.

Ryeowook sighed, slumping in front of his closet, arms crossing over chest. Was it really pointless? Would Kyuhyun think he was just being lazy and immature by not dressing up though? Would he think Ryeowook was desperate for dressing up?

“So troublesome,” he mumbled, shaking his head slowly. Wait. Why was he making such a big deal out of it? He was dating Sungmin. It didn’t matter what Kyuhyun thought because they were just hanging out. No one else’s feelings or actions should upset Ryeowook besides Sungmin’s.

Smiling with relief, he stood up, casually grabbing what he wanted to wear and pulling it on. There, getting dressed wasn’t so bad after convincing himself Kyuhyun didn’t matter.  

Just as Ryeowook got his shoes on, preparing to tie the laces, a text message came to disturb him.

**Kyuhyun says: I’m at the gates. Hurry up**

**I say: Sorry, be there in a minute!**

He scrambled to finish the knots, clumsily rising to his feet. Stumbling, Ryeowook snatched his beige knapsack off the desk, knocking over one of Kyuhyun’s many notebooks on the way. Gritting teeth, Ryeowook crouched down, fighting to keep his center of gravity as he picked up the mess of papers and flung open booklets.

“He’s going to be so annoyed,” the boy mumbled, collecting nearly all of the materials and setting them back on the table. Ryeowook swung back around towards the door but then came to a staggering halt when he caught sight of another misplaced paper. Sighing, he leaned down, picking it up and flipping it over.

The writing was uniquely Kyuhyun’s but there was something harsh and sharp about the penmanship. It was a letter – a very angry letter, at that.

Ryeowook gazed long and hard at the addressee, heart skipping a beat when he made out the name. Below it was a list of ten things…

_Bzzt!_

“H-Hello?” the boy answered his phone, forcing the tremors from his voice.

Kyuhyun made an irritated noise, saying, “I told you to hurry up. What are you doing?”

“Oh sorry,” Ryeowook apologized, placing the letter on the desk and walking to the door quickly, “I’m really coming this time!” he insisted, earnestly, descending the dorm building steps two at a time.

“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” he answered sarcastically, “If you really didn’t want to spend the day with me you could’ve said no when I asked.”

“How?” he demanded, frustration bubbling over as brisk air rushed at his face. “You asked in front of so many people so of course I couldn’t reject you!” Ryeowook winced at a particularly chilly gust of wind.

Kyuhyun snorted, “You could’ve easily done it but you were too worried about your image as president.” He sounded as if he were smirking, which wouldn’t be a far off guess.

Ryeowook snarled incoherently, brows knitted. Why did Kyuhyun always have to say everything so blatantly? It was bad enough that he could predict Ryeowook’s thought process, now he had to go off rubbing it in his face?

A thought occurred to him then. Why did it feel so…normal to be arguing with him like that? They had been through so many things…shouldn’t the air have been more uncomfortable? Even as roommates they rarely spoke without an awkward air hanging in the room.

“What are you doing standing there?”

The deep, smooth voice was right behind Ryeowook, shocking him to the core. He whirled around, phone falling to his side. “K-Kyu?”

Kyuhyun stared down at him, eyes half lidded and sparking with impatience. A scarf had itself wrapped around the attractive boy’s mouth, covering the bottom half of his face. “You were taking a long time,” he explained blandly, fingers wrapping around the smaller boy’s hand, “let’s go already.”

And, for some unknown reason, Ryeowook allowed himself to be pulled away. Maybe he was too preoccupied thinking about the lack of awkwardness between him and Kyuhyun. Maybe it was something else entirely. He just didn’t know, nor did it appear he was going to find out.

They settled into the backseat of the taxi, hands no longer clasped together. Ryeowook stuffed fists into pockets, afraid of being grabbed by Kyuhyun again. It felt like he was betraying Sungmin by simply holding someone else’s hand. Then again, that “someone else” was also Cho Kyuhyun so perhaps feeling weird about it was perfectly acceptable – not an overreaction at all.

Ryeowook closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. He really needed to calm down. All of the nerves in his body were wired, daring to tear or freak any moment. If that happened he would definitely lose every bit of emotional sanity and Ryeowook really needed every bit of it.

“So where do you kids wanna go? The city?” the taxi driver grunted, driving through the only road.

Kyuhyun planned on that originally but then he saw the look of pure anguish on his companion’s face. “Ah…no,” he answered.

Surprise clouded Ryeowook’s eyes.

“On the outskirts of the city is that small town, right?” At the driver’s nod, Kyuhyun went on, saying, “we’ll go there. It’s quieter.”

Ryeowook smiled happily; glad to be away from the city. The last time he had been inside of a city, he and Minho had been beaten to a pulp, on top of being robbed shamelessly in a gambling house. Going to populated, claustrophobic places like that were definite no-no’s. “Thank you, Kyu,” he said.

“Not yet.” He smirked, eyes gliding slightly over to Ryeowook. “There’s still more to be thankful for, just wait a bit.”

 ***

When Kyuhyun said small, he really meant small. Ryeowook turned in a slow circle, memorizing the doll-like town. There was only road filled with people traipsing around. Rather than a quaint district, it was more like an expansive shopping center – except thrown into olden times where people strolled around with parasols and visited specialty shops.

“Why are you just standing there?” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, one arm draping around the smaller boy’s narrow shoulders.

Ryeowook was about to protest when a red rose was shoved in his face. Automatically, he reached out for Kyuhyun, surprise sending spurts of adrenaline into veins. “W-Whoa…,” he breathed, blinking several times in an attempt to understand what was being offered to him.

A sparkly eyed boy smiled up at Ryeowook, lowering the long stemmed rose a bit. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he chimed, voice sweet and sincere. There was a bouquet in the child’s other hand, abundance of roses nestled in the crook of his arm.

“Oh…thank you, happy Valentine’s Day to you too,” Ryeowook replied, relaxing and trying to back away from Kyuhyun. The latter tightened his grip. _I shouldn’t have leaned back…now he’ll never let go._ Smothering a sigh, Ryeowook turned back to the young boy, “Is that for me…?” He pointed at the delicate flower.

The child nodded enthusiastically, pushing it forward once more. “I was told to give a rose to anyone I think is beautiful and you’re definitely…,” he blushed, coughing and waving the flower around in hopes that Ryeowook would just take it already.

Chuckling, he wrapped his fingers around the slim stem, twirling it a few times. The full blossom spun around dazzling in the morning sunlight. “Thank you,” Ryeowook remarked, breaking into a wide smile, “What’s your name?”

“U-Uh, Hyungsik,” he squeaked, casting his eyes down and shuffling his feet.

Kyuhyun plucked the rose from Ryeowook’s careful hold, gazing down at it. “A thorn-less red rose,” he murmured, minty breath rushing past his companion’s ear, “means love at first sight.” A smirk slowly turned his lips upward as he shot Hyungsik a look.

The deepest, darkest red colored his face and he quickly bowed, mumbling a goodbye and running off.

Ryeowook watched him go helplessly, still trying to shake off the heart racing shivers from Kyuhyun’s breath. “Why did you tease him like that?” he sighed, taking the rose back.

“He was interrupting our alone time,” the taller boy scoffed, his arm around Ryeowook’s shoulders forcing both of them to walk forward, “There’s a reason we’re here together today.”

Ryeowook looked up at him. “What do you mean?”

“We’re getting to know one another,” Kyuhyun replied, “because obviously we don’t know each other at all. Besides,” he turned towards a café, “we have things we need to talk about.”

That was most definitely true. Ryeowook felt his limbs humming with anticipation. Could things between him and Kyuhyun improve if they finally got everything out in the open? All of the bitter resentment and unspoken feelings…wants…needs – could they really be fixed?

“Your waiter will be right with you,” the hostess said with a smile, keeping her eyes on Kyuhyun for a second longer than necessary.

Ryeowook shrugged his jacket off, getting comfortable in the cozy eatery. There was natural light filtering in through arch shaped windows, creating various shadows along the floor and furniture. Behind Ryeowook was a lounging area, oversized couches circling a brick fireplace. Its warmth filled the entire area, devouring any cold that stuck to their bodies.

“If you’re cold why did you take off your jacket?” Kyuhyun questioned, dark eyes trained on the boy across from him.

“I can’t eat while wearing it,” he shrugged, smiling a tad reflexively, “do you?”

Kyuhyun opened the menu casually, “Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

Ryeowook giggled, opening his own menu and looking through the options. For a moment he panicked about the prices but then remembered all of it was being paid for by the school. Grinning, he turned to the priciest foods, trying to decide between two rather hearty breakfast plates.

“Are you two ready to order?” a man came up to them, notepad and pen in hand.

At nearly the same time, they said, “Bubble tea, half sugar, and no ice—” Both stopped talking, turning wide eyes to one another.

The waiter stared at them for a moment, surprise scrawled across his face. A low laugh surface before he nodded and scribbled the order down, “No problem…I see that love is certainly in the air, huh?” He smiled at them, turning on his heel to get their orders.

Ryeowook flushed as Kyuhyun grinned. “Some things don’t change,” he chuckled, shifting in his chair and refocusing on the slender boy. “Hey.” Ryeowook locked eyes with Kyuhyun. The latter went on, “What annoys you about me? I want to know.”

“…Nothing,” he stated, “I’ve never been—”

“—don’t you dislike that I boss you around?” Kyuhyun interrupted.  

“Well you had reason to since I was such an easy going child.”

“What about when I would kiss you?” he prompted.

Ryeowook swallowed, playing with his hands under the table. “You had been doing it since we were little so I wasn’t bothered.”

“When I told you that you couldn’t do certain things, like being on Tech Crew for that musical?”

“You were doing that for my own good. I knew that.”

Kyuhyun was about to say more when Ryeowook opened his mouth, cutting off the unsaid thought. “You never trusted me.”

“…what?” Kyuhyun tilted his head slightly.

The other boy sighed softly, looking uncomfortable. “You always took care of me and I’ll never say anything bad about that because even though you were strict and unreasonable sometimes it was out of the goodness of your heart,” Ryeowook explained quickly before clearing his throat and saying, “but…you never leaned on me. Even though we had been friends for such a long time, you never tried to talk to me about your own problems. The last memory I have of you coming to me for help was,” he smiled sadly, “that afternoon when we first met.”

Kyuhyun was silent, expression unreadable to the rest of the world. Sometimes Ryeowook wondered if he should write a book called _A Guide to Cho Kyuhyun_. After all, who else would be able to understand him? Who else would know that the quieter Kyuhyun got, the more thoughtful he was being? Or that if Kyuhyun became blank faced it meant he was sincerely considering what you said?

“Here’s your order,” their waiter said, placing two plastic cups and extra-large straws onto the tabletop. “Do you need a few more minutes?”

“Yes, that would be great,” Ryeowook answered, poking the straw through the thin film covering his drink.

“Okay, just wave me over when you’re ready,” the man nodded and walked off.

He could see the words were having an impact as he turned back to study Kyuhyun’s facial expression. “Kyu…,” he began but the boy in question shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

Maybe he didn’t know him that well after all. Ryeowook choked on the bubble tea, coughing and gasping. Surprise fluttered across the other male’s face. He reached over, patting the spastic one’s backside. “W-What did you just say?” Ryeowook managed, wincing and wiping away the tears wetting his face.

“I said I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun repeated, shooting him one more uneasy look. What if he started choking again? “Anyway…,” he played with the sweating plastic cup before him, sweet drink swaying inside the container, “I never really thought about telling you anything. I suppose I didn’t think you would be capable of helping.”

Ryeowook paused, wondering if that was an insult or not. After taking a slow sip from his tea, he said, “How long ago did you start hating me so much?”

“I never hated you,” he retorted mildly, “I never did and I never will.” Kyuhyun slowly dug the tip of his straw into the film cover of his bubble tea. “They say familiarity breeds contempt.”

A new question popped into the boy’s mind as he swallowed a mouthful of pearls and leaned forward. “Hey Kyu…”

“Yeah?”

“When did you start reading literature and studying flowers?” Ryeowook frowned, brows furrowing.

The dark haired male rolled his eyes, poking the curious one’s forehead, forcing him back into his seat. “I didn’t have enough English and Technical credits to graduate so I took Literature and Floral Design.” Kyuhyun glared at Ryeowook, silencing the laughs that hadn’t yet surfaced. “All of the other classes filled up already. It was Floral Design or Fashion Design.”

“Oh…that’s why,” Ryeowook muttered, forcing down all of his taunting giggles.

“Let’s eat already,” the taller of the two snapped, waving over their waiter.

They offered the man their menus once all of the orders were made and soon enough they were alone again – nothing else to do but explore their emotions more. Then again, that was the precise reason Kyuhyun had asked Ryeowook out for Valentine’s Day right? Well, aside from wanting to piss off Sungmin.

Ryeowook had come to terms with all of the reasons behind the “date”, unable to feel offended at being a pawn for revenge. In the end, he was the one benefitting so really, he couldn’t complain.

“Why did you decide to run for StudGov President?” Kyuhyun questioned.

He sighed, exasperated at the mere thought of explaining himself. There were too many miniscule details and he didn’t particularly want to go through all of them.

Just as Ryeowook was about to say it was too long of a story to tell, Kyuhyun said, “We have all day so tell me.”

And so, with a bit of hesitation, he told Kyuhyun everything, including the life changing days with YoungSaeng, the accident with Henry, his drinking, and then finally his realization that it was time to start correcting everything he had done wrong. There was nothing really to the conclusion. Ryeowook just felt that the time had come for the end of mistakes and the beginning of reconstruction. The best way to do that was by aiming for something like the presidency – even on such a small scale.

By the time the story had ended, their food was on the table, steaming and waiting. Neither touched their dishes though, eyes locked in an intensely, inaudible conversation. Kyuhyun had no words to describe his feelings while Ryeowook had no words to further justify his actions.

The sound of the door’s bell ringing broke their connection. Ryeowook lowered his head, rubbing his eyes tiredly. On the other hand, Kyuhyun was leaning back in his chair, turning around to peer at the people who dared to interrupt them – purposefully or not.

He hadn’t properly prepared himself though. Regrettably, Cho Kyuhyun had forgotten one of the greatest wonders of life. Whether you believe in coincidence or destiny, it doesn’t matter because the reality is things happen as they please.

That was why Kyuhyun uttered a breathless name, “Zhoumi?”

 


	18. Chapter 18

  1. _You cheated on me because you thought I cheated._



“Zhoumi…” A sharp pain raked Kyuhyun’s chest. He growled lowly at it, glare intensifying with each passing moment. The pure happiness on his ex-lover’s face was enough to make him want to curl his lip in disgust. In what _fucking_ world was it fair?

The couple was holding hands, caressing one another with their eyes. It was absolutely, horrifyingly putrid. Kyuhyun didn’t even try to hold back the waves of fury rolling off of him. Was there no way to justify the situation?

Then those familiar, lovely black orbs were turning with that equally lovely face.

 

  1. _You never tried to fix the misunderstanding from #1._



Without thinking much more – anger dictating his moves – Kyuhyun dragged the wide-eyed and shocked Ryeowook half out of his seat and crushed their lips together.

The force of impact made the smaller boy wince, hands reaching out to garner support on anything at all. Kyuhyun’s chest brushed his fingertips and he quickly used that as leverage to stay upright.

Breathing became harder as the lips moving against his refused to cease, capturing every last pant Ryeowook managed. He felt his knees beginning to weaken under the attention, but there was no way to fix that with their awkwardly positioned bodies.

Abruptly, Kyuhyun pulled back, chest rising and falling erratically as he tilted his head the other way, one hand moving up to hold Ryeowook’s face. “Kiss me, Ryeowook,” he whispered, eyes closing with the return of their heated touch.

There was something so vulnerable about the order, something that made it more of a plea than anything. And as their kiss deepened, Ryeowook couldn’t think of anything besides wanting to make the weakness in Kyuhyun vanish. Why was he so upset? Was it because of the people in the doorway?

Ryeowook hadn’t had a chance to see them clearly but then again, all he needed to know was the word “Zhoumi” had been spoken.

The very tip of Kyuhyun’s tongue traced Ryeowook’s reddened bottom lip, slowly venturing into the latter’s willing mouth. Before things could progress further though, a spine-tingling voice dragged them apart.

“K-Kyuhyun?”

His eyes carefully opened as he pressed one last fleeting kiss to Ryeowook’s harshly taken lips. Releasing the heavily breathing boy, Kyuhyun tilted his head in Zhoumi and Eunhyuk’s direction. The couple was staring in astonishment, blushes tinting their cheeks.

“Oh, I haven’t seen you two in a long time,” he stated, noting from his peripheral vision that Ryeowook was collapsed in his chair, head lowered to the table. Maybe Kyuhyun had gone a little overboard.

 

  1. _You waited for me to come crawling back to you._



Zhoumi nodded stiffly, eyes flitting back and forth between the formerly kissing pair. “So…you two ended up dating after all.”

“What of it?” Kyuhyun murmured the words cold and fierce – nothing like the voice someone should have been using with their ex-lover…for the most part.

 

  1. _You were sneaking around behind me back. Seriously, I’m not that stupid. I had an idea of what was going on. I may not have known for sure, but really? Am I that naïve in your eyes?_



 

Eunhyuk forced a smile, “Man, I haven’t seen you in forever. I hope everything is going well for you,” he said, voice overly excited.

The younger boy shot him a vicious glare. “Yes, I’m doing fine.” Kyuhyun was so focused on the two guests that he hadn’t noticed Ryeowook rifling through his knapsack, searching for something or other. Then again, even if Kyuhyun _had_ known it wouldn’t have made much of a difference. So long as Ryeowook was busying himself then there was nothing to worry about.

“I would’ve never expected to see you two here,” Eunhyuk laughed with a plethora of glee. “Why are you so far away from the school?”

 

  1. _You went to someone else for emotional support._



Kyuhyun shrugged. “There are always reasons and ways to get off campus.”

“That’s true.”

A short silence passed before it was interrupted by the sound of furious scribbling. Finally, Kyuhyun turned around, eyeing Ryeowook curiously. What was he doing? Crouching slightly, he leaned over to see what the other boy was writing so diligently. “What is that?” Kyuhyun asked, trying to move the hands covering the notebook paper.

“It’s nothing,” Ryeowook replied vaguely, scooting away from him and continuing to write.

Annoyance gnawed at the standing male. “What are you writing?” he insisted, wrapping his arms around Ryeowook from behind, face coming up to press closely against the slender boy’s neck. Kyuhyun tried to read the writing but failed when the notebook was suddenly shut.

“N-Nothing, I told you that,” Ryeowook muttered, blushing and tucking the journal back into his knapsack. “Could you let go of me…?” he whispered, squirming in the intimate embrace.

Grudgingly, Kyuhyun backed away, returning to the conversation he had momentarily left. “So what are you doing here?”

 

  1. _You said you loved me while sleeping with someone else._



Eunhyuk grinned sheepishly. “We didn’t want to spend time in the city. It’s been a while since we’ve been around rural areas so this place seemed like a close enough environment.”

 

  1. _You couldn’t decide between me and Eunhyuk._



 “Why don’t we meet up for drinks later today?” Zhoumi blurted.

 

  1. _#7 shows you didn’t really love me. You only liked me._



Everyone’s heads shot up to him, Ryeowook included.

Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow. “Drinks? I don’t mind.”

 

  1. _You never apologized for doing all of this._



 “If you don’t mind then I guess I don’t mind either…,” Eunhyuk muttered, frowning as he considered the possible outcomes of doing something so stupid. From an optimistic standpoint maybe all of them could become best friends and—that was a little too optimistic, actually.

“Okay, then we’ll meet at the dessert shop at three o’clock today,” Kyuhyun said, taking Ryeowook’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

Neither Eunhyuk nor Zhoumi had a chance to reply as the two younger boys passed over the threshold of the restaurant, heading off down the street.

 

  1. _You never said goodbye._



 

***

 

Halfway to nowhere, Ryeowook tugged Kyuhyun to a halt, breaths coming out unevenly from all of the abrupt activity. In the brisk February air, his jacket was flapping open and his chest was freezing just because of their rushed escape.

Anyone could tell it was an awkward atmosphere but to so blatantly _run_ out was a bit excessive. Kyuhyun took the two ends of Ryeowook’s jacket, hooking it and zipping it up for him. The whole process was so natural he didn’t realize what was happening until later.

“About the kiss,” Kyuhyun mumbled, entwining their fingers, “sorry. I didn’t mean to attack you like that…I just—”

“—I know already,” Ryeowook interrupted, smiling first at the shock on Kyuhyun’s face and then at the slightly flustered expression that melted those normally tough features. “Think of today as me…returning all of the favors you’ve done over the years,” he added, leaning up to softly kiss the taller boy on the lips. A blush crept up Ryeowook’s face but he ignored it, saying, “It’s all an act today. So don’t feel bad, Kyu.”

“…as if I would feel bad about hurting that Stupid Bunny,” his voice cracked just enough to be noticeable. Absently, he brushed his fingertips across lips, studying the way Ryeowook was in turn observing him. “You’re really strong enough to do this for me?” Kyuhyun asked quietly, that devastatingly uncharacteristic desperation in his words.

Ryeowook nodded, pushing away his guilt and dropping himself into the role. “Let’s go do something then!” He pulled Kyuhyun by their linked hands, grinning happily. Glancing around the miniature town, Ryeowook spotted an antique looking shop. “Oh, oh I want to go there!”

Willingly, Kyuhyun followed his ‘lover’, smiling at the childish exuberance. It had been a long time since he had seen Ryeowook so giddy. There was something refreshing about it, yet nostalgic at the same time. Perhaps it was one of those rare past-meets-present moments people were always talking about.

Inside the store, they found a number of era-specific sets. Directly before them were specifically arranged barrels, guns, money sacks, and crates. The wall was pasted over with tan colored wallpaper, the design old and tasteless. On a curvy wooden stand were cowboy hats and beige leather vests.

Adjacent to the Old West set was a Victorian-style arrangement complete with intricate detailing and richly colored fabrics. From the front door you could see two or three more obscured, themed portions of the shop.

Ryeowook read the sign on the register table and his smile grew bigger. “This is a costume photo place,” he whisper-exclaimed, turning around to jump up and down, clinging to Kyuhyun’s jacket. Large, hopeful eyes stared up at him.

A very small, pained grimace broke Kyuhyun’s flat lined mouth. “You want to dress up?” he asked slowly.

“I’ve never done it before but wouldn’t it be fun to have pictures of us dressed up?”

Kyuhyun was about to argue that no, it would not be fun. In fact, it would be painfully embarrassing considering how much crap both of them – mainly Kyuhyun – would get for doing something so odd.

“Oh, are you two interested in taking pictures today?” a young woman inquired, coming up to them with a clipboard in hand. Ryeowook released Kyuhyun so he could get a clearer look at the worker. When their eyes met, her mouth formed an oval shape. “Oh my…you’re so cute!”

Kyuhyun made a face, putting a protective arm around the other boy.

The woman giggled, fanning her coloring face. “You’re very lucky to have such an adorable girlfriend,” she remarked, glancing at Kyuhyun.

“No…I’m not a girl,” Ryeowook stated, waving his hand and smiling uncertainly. “I’m a boy.”

“No way…,” the female employee breathed. Dread crept into Ryeowook, but that quickly vanished when even more excitement filled the woman’s eyes. She squealed very quietly and reached out, taking Ryeowook’s arm. “You’re the perfect _uke_!”

“Pardon me?” Ryeowook stammered, helplessly letting the woman take him away.  

Kyuhyun snatched his other arm, jerking him back. “Don’t touch people you don’t know,” he told her harshly.

Apparently she had no sense of offense as an even higher pitched squeal erupted from those firmly pressed together lips. “I can’t believe this! I can’t believe I found a real life _seme_ and _uke_ couple!”

This time it was Kyuhyun who staggered in shock. The woman took the chance to snatch Ryeowook away, leading him to a room a little ways to the right of the entryway. She pulled him inside and locked the door behind her before Kyuhyun could regain his wits.

Loud pounding quickly followed but she ignored it and turned her sights back on Ryeowook. “You want to take cute pictures with your man, right?” she smirked at the pink of the slender boy’s cheeks. “Of course you do! Now all we have to do is dress you up!”

 

On the other side of the door, Kyuhyun was still slamming his fist against the wooden frame, not yet shouting but he was on the verge of doing so.

“S-Stop!” Ryeowook’s voice came through the barrier. “Don’t do that! Stop it! What are you touching?!” he cried, followed by the sound of shifting fabric and then tearing.

Kyuhyun raised his leg, swinging backwards. Before he could make contact with it though, a strong hand clamped down on his ankle, tripping him up. “What the fuck?” he snapped, whirling around to see an attractive man staring down at him with annoyance.

“You break that door down and I’ll make you stay here until you fix it,” the stranger stated, glowering and throwing Kyuhyun’s leg back to the ground. “Why are you trying to destroy property?”

“I’m not.” He jabbed a finger at the locked door. “My boyfriend was taken in their by some crazy foreign woman.”

“Oh…you mean Ryosuke,” the man nodded understandingly, “by the way, he’s not a girl. He’s a guy.” Kyuhyun stared at him incredulously. A small shrug was offered for compensation and then the handsome male stuck his hand out, saying, “My name is Yamashita Tomohisa, just for future reference.”

 

Ryeowook glanced down at his tattered shirt. “You’re really strong for a girl…” _Good thing that t-shirt’s really old._

She frowned, shaking her head slowly. “I’m a boy. Just like you,” the person pointed back and forth before smiling and offering his hand, “I’m Yamada Ryosuke.” Once Ryeowook shook it, he dropped his arm and leered at the half naked third year high school student. “More importantly, let’s get you changed~!”

“W-Wait!” Ryeowook gasped, clutching his shirt closed. Ryosuke frowned, waiting impatiently. “What were you talking about? The _uke_ - _seme_ thing,” he asked, eyes darting between the looming effeminate and the locked door.

Ryosuke grinned, “It’s a Japanese phrase to describe love between boys. Anyway, let’s get started already! He’s probably waiting for you.” And with that, he started roughly undressing the other boy.

***

“So…you like cosplay?” the Japanese man asked Kyuhyun. They were standing outside of the closed room, waiting for it to open already.

Kyuhyun crossed his arms, leaning back against a wooden support beam. “Hell no.”

“Your girlfriend likes cosplay?” Yamashita Tomohisa questioned.

“Boyfriend,” he corrected, “and I don’t know, maybe.”

The foreigner frowned, “You’re not very talkative are you?”

To that, Kyuhyun did not answer, simply turning his body so he was angled towards the door. Why was it taking so long for them to change – or do whatever they were doing? And what was that tearing sound earlier?

Just as Kyuhyun made a move to bang on the wooden barrier again, the lock clicked. He pushed off of the support beam, annoyance gushing out in livid waves. Lips parted in preparation for a torrent of yelling but then all of it stopped.

Layer upon delicate layer of white material and bountiful puffs of rose pink satin followed the subtle, slender curves of a breathtaking figure. Rich dark curls danced around a high cheek boned face, large eyes even wider as they turned up to gaze at Kyuhyun. A lace bonnet curved a path through the glossy locks, pink ribbon tying itself under a narrow chin.

“I thought you said you had a boyfriend,” Tomohisa spat, walking towards Ryeowook.

Kyuhyun snapped out of his daze, grabbing the cross-dressing boy by his wrist. “Don’t come near him,” he glared at the foreigner.

“I was the one who did it! Say thank you!” Ryosuke whined, hands clenching into fists.

Ryeowook pushed a stray hair out of his made-up eyes, “He forced me to!” he defended quickly, afraid that disgust would soon fill the other boy’s face. “I promise I didn’t want to do something so—”

“—it looks good…on you,” Kyuhyun interrupted, jaw tightening spastically, “I mean.” He awkwardly looked around, unsure if it was okay to gawk at Ryeowook. There was never an appropriate time to do something like that, right?

Crimson color washed over that feminine face. “R-Really?” he squeaked, suddenly feeling small. “Thank you…then, I guess?” Ryeowook glanced at a fuming Ryosuke and quickly added, “Thank you, Ryosuke! He likes it so everything is okay,” he sounded rather unsure though, biting down on his bottom lip.

“We have to dress up your handsome boy now too,” Tomohisa called, smirking at the death glare shot at him.

Ryosuke clapped his hands, smiling widely. “That’s right! Ah well then—” he froze when Kyuhyun directed the cold glower at him. “Uh…you can change by yourself.”

“You’re going to dress up, right Kyu?” Ryeowook asked happily, batting his eyelashes innocently.

A blush dusted itself across Kyuhyun’s cheeks, “Yeah, whatever.” He pushed away from the overly cute boy, grabbing the clothes Tomohisa offered, and striding into the dressing room.

Ryeowook looked at the Japanese shop owners. “Do you think he was lying about liking this?” he inquired, brows furrowing as he played with the hem of the frilly skirt.

They stifled laughs, going over to pat the young boy’s shoulders and touch up his clothing and hair. “Yeah, I’m sure,” Ryosuke assured, exchanging a look with his associate.

Some minutes later, Kyuhyun emerged from the room looking like he just stepped out of a time machine. He adjusted the top hat perched upon his dark hair whilst his other hand toyed with the black and silver necktie draped down the front of his button down shirt. A handsome vest hugged his form, matching the long trousers surrounding his legs. “Good enough,” Kyuhyun muttered, glancing up to see the trio staring in awe at him.

“You’re so…manly, Kyu,” Ryeowook breathed, hurrying over to run his hands down the front of the formal attire. “How come I’m a girl?” he huffed, wondering how he would look with a nice suit and hat.

“Don’t ask,” the other boy murmured, “let’s just do this photo shoot already.” He turned to the employees and silently they directed them towards the Victorian-era set.

Tomohisa got behind a camera perched upon a tripod. “Alright, tell me when you’re ready,” he drawled, bored now that all of the costuming fun was over.

On the other hand, Ryosuke was fussing with the younger boys, positioning them on a large throne. He sat Kyuhyun down first and then pushed Ryeowook into his lap. “Drape your legs over the arm rest,” the Japanese man directed, watching as his words were hesitantly followed. “Put your arms around his neck and then tilt your head towards the camera.”

Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around the small waist pressing against his body, deciding that was the only place he could touch without making the picture look weird.

“Oh good, that’s perfect!” Ryosuke commended, flashing Kyuhyun a thumbs-up sign before going back to barking orders at Ryeowook. “No, no, be more natural. You can lean into him too. You guys are lovers right? Why are you being so awkward?”

“Yeah, stop being awkward,” Kyuhyun teased, smirking at the irritated boy.

“Be quiet,” Ryeowook whispered back, “My skirt keeps riding up and my chest is too flat.”

“That’s the problem with boys in girls’ clothing,” he remarked, laughing softly at the offended expression on his ‘lover’s’ face. Kyuhyun shifted in the throne so they were more aligned and looking at one another. “Stop thinking about the picture,” the words were soft as their lips met with feather lightness, “just smile at me.”

Ryeowook nodded meekly, breaking into a smile as he fell into the other one’s endlessly deep eyes…

 “And that’s a wrap!” Tomohisa announced, clapping his hands to get the couple’s attention.

Kyuhyun took a sharp breath, pulling away from their intense staring contest. After another moment’s hesitation, he backed away, saying, “Great. I hate wearing these clothes.”

“Mm,” Ryeowook stumbled out of their embrace, catching himself before shuffling quickly to the changing room. The door shut behind him and he sank to the ground, covering his overly heated face. “…What am I doing…?”


	19. Chapter 19

They walked in silence down the street. What could be said?

Kyuhyun didn’t know if there was anything he could say. After they had gotten their pictures, organized themselves, given billing addresses, and filled out forms, somehow everything became rather uncomfortable. It felt like a wall had been erected between them the moment they were left alone together.

Distant sounds of bells erupted in the gray afternoon, chiming in the third hour. Had the day really passed by so quickly, or was it just the crushing quiet that made time move faster? Normally silence made time slow down though…what was going on?

“We should go meet them now right?” Ryeowook prompted softly, both of his hands busy holding their bag of photos. It was surely an excuse to not hold Kyuhyun’s hand considering the shorter boy had a convenient backpack that could easily hold the purchase.

Kyuhyun nodded, directing his gaze down the road. “The shop is that way,” he stated.

“Oh, okay,” he replied, swinging his bag off one shoulder and placing the photos inside. Then Ryeowook took the other one’s hand, “Don’t worry, you can trust me Kyuhyun…”

A small smile worked its way onto his lips. “After this, I want to go somewhere with you.” He saw the alarm on Ryeowook’s face. “Not like lovers,” Kyuhyun paused, lips pressing together for a second, “…but as friends.”

“Oh, hey!” Eunhyuk’s voice caught the wind, travelling to the third years. He was waving at them from the entrance of the sweets shop.

Ryeowook returned the signal politely, still stunned by what his…friend had said. Further elaboration was impossible as they came up to Eunhyuk and Zhoumi.

“I’m really sorry about this,” Eunhyuk apologized, looking at them sadly, “but I just got called back to my job and they need me for a couple of hours.” He shrugged helplessly, “I really can’t afford to ditch work.”

Zhoumi was holding back his feelings, eyes flitting around, yet he refused to utter a word.

 

  1. _Deep down, you really care about people – to the point where you will spend days, weeks, and months thinking about them._



 

“Well what about Zhoumi?” Kyuhyun asked, glancing at his ex.

The older boy nudged his boyfriend, “I was hoping you two would keep him company until I get back…is that too much to ask? I understand if you want alone time on Valentine’s Day though. Don’t worry, neither of us will be offended, promise.”

“No it’s okay,” Ryeowook chimed in, not really sure what his rationale for speaking was. “We don’t mind.” He smiled reassuringly at Zhoumi.

Halfheartedly returning it, the slim young man stepped away from Eunhyuk. “Just hurry back. I don’t want to impose on them for too long.”

Eunhyuk gently kissed his lover’s cheek, waving goodbye as he jogged away towards the parking lot.

The three remaining people stood around for a minute or so, none of them wanting to initiate contact first.

Why had Ryeowook offered to let Zhoumi stay? Not five minutes into the situation and he was already regretting the decision. Sighing, Ryeowook headed towards the sweets shop ahead of Kyuhyun and the dark haired beauty. “We should go get some ice cream,” he remarked, forcing a grin and opening the door.

“Sure,” Kyuhyun agreed easily, brushing past Zhoumi towards the specialty café.

Finally, the oldest of the trio entered the facility albeit reluctantly.

After being seated, a new silence settled down on them, only broken by a desperately enthusiastic Ryeowook. With every nonsensical word he spouted, he wondered why in the name of all that is holy…did he invite Zhoumi? Really, he hadn’t thought this through at all. Now all of them were uncomfortable and incapable of making decent conversation – most importantly, they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the taste of a good dessert.

“What would you like to eat?” their waitress asked.

Ryeowook smiled thankfully and said, “Chocolate covered strawberries, please.”

“A sundae,” Kyuhyun told the worker.

“Single scoop vanilla,” Zhoumi handed the menu to the woman.

“I’ll be right back with your orders then.”

A part of Ryeowook wanted to beg her to stay but that part was small and being silly. They should just deal with the situation. Yes, that was the best idea. It was only for a couple of hours so why not make the best of it?

“So how long have you two been dating?” the oldest boy asked, trying to be casual.

Kyuhyun replied carefully, still paying attention to any discomfort on Ryeowook’s part, “A few weeks ago.”

“Wow, I thought you would’ve started dating after we…well, broke up,” he seemed relieved for some reason; half a genuine smile tilted his flat lined lips.

 

  1. _You burden yourself with the problems of people you care about, no matter what you may feel._



 

“Why?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow.

Zhoumi chuckled, “Well you were always talking about him when we were dating. I still remember every time I got hurt you would tell me it was different from when…,” he stopped himself, stiffly shrugging, “ah, I guess it doesn’t matter much.”

“No, no what were you going to say?” the handsome boy asked, guardedly amused.

Ryeowook couldn’t help but want to laugh. Maybe they had read his mind. Slowly, the tenseness was fading, replaced by an almost comfortable air of companionship. Of course there was nothing spectacular but at least they were making conversation now – even if Ryeowook wasn’t a part of it.

“Is the Honors Dorm nice?” Zhoumi inquired.

 

  1. _When you feel strongly for someone you’ll put your heart and soul into showing them._



 

Kyuhyun nodded, “the rooms are bigger and cleaner. And we don’t have to share shower stalls with hundreds of other people.”

“Oh, that must be great,” his mouth formed a small oval, surprise racing over his face. “Mine and Eunhyuk’s apartment is much larger though.”

“Shut up,” Kyuhyun laughed, “I’m only here for another year and then I’ll be free to live wherever I want.”

Zhoumi dropped his head in palm, delicately sharp features morphing into an easy smile. “That’s right. You’re thinking about applying to other colleges.”

“Here are your orders,” the waitress announced, placing the varying desserts on the table, “enjoy and feel free to call me over if you have any questions or need anything.” She sauntered off then, leaving the three boys to their food and conversation.

Ryeowook quietly continued eating and listening idly to the other two talk. Pangs of annoyance jolted his system but it wasn’t jealousy – of course not! Rather, he felt bothered. Yes, he had been hoping for a calmer atmosphere but it was a tad _too_ casual. He closed his eyes for a few seconds. No, no, there was nothing wrong with the current state of affairs. They were avoiding any touchy topics and simply enjoying the time together.

“Let me try,” Kyuhyun’s voice was right beside his ear and then his hand was closing around Ryeowook’s, directing the chocolate covered strawberry towards his own mouth. The succulent fruit pursed lips, sweet coating completely devoured.

Ryeowook pouted, “I only have three of them and you ate the whole thing.”

Smirking, Kyuhyun swallowed the fruit. “You still have two more it’s fine.”

“Fine…,” he muttered, going back to the journal in his lap.

“Here try it.” A spoonful of sundae was pushed into Ryeowook’s mouth, forcing its way down his throat. Sweet syrup and cool vanilla ice cream soothed his parched esophagus. Kyuhyun was watching the boy’s reaction intently, chuckling when he saw the childish wonder. “Like it?”

“Mm-hmm…,” he nodded excitedly, eyes shining truthfully. “Can we trade?”

Kyuhyun snorted, taking the spoon back and scooping himself a bite of the dessert, “No way.”

 

  1. _You’re more honest than anyone else._



“Where do you want to go?” Ryeowook asked Zhoumi. The three were back on the streets of the small town having finished their desserts. As they made their way through the one road, Ryeowook kept his hand tightly in Kyuhyun’s standing in between the ex-lovers.

“The antique shop,” Kyuhyun answered before anyone else could say anything. He caught the growing grin on Zhoumi’s face and returned it fleetingly. “You like that sort of stuff don’t you?”

“I’m surprised you remember,” he commended, “you never said anything when I told you it.”

Kyuhyun leaned over to more properly look at the older boy. “It should’ve been obvious that I knew. There was never a reason for me to remind you that I knew.”

 

  1. _You’re modest about the important things._



And so, they entered a dusty, poorly lit antiquity shop. Ryeowook stayed on the sidelines as he had been doing thus far, busying himself with randomly journaling or observing Kyuhyun and Zhoumi, just in case they had a falling out.

But they didn’t. They were even excited to be talking to one another it appeared.

 

  1. _Always, you act tough but really, you’re sensitive about pain._



At the one hour mark, Ryeowook figured it was no big deal that they were getting along. Playing nice was better than tearing each other apart, as he had been telling himself ever since the dessert shop.

 

  1. _Your subconscious is the real you._



At the two hour mark, Ryeowook was starting to feel a particular pounding annoyance in his head. They were acting closer than ever and he was almost positive neither of them knew Ryeowook was still around. Kyuhyun wasn’t even bothering to hold his hand anymore.

If they were capable of getting along then what was that vulnerability shown earlier? Why was he even playing along when it obviously didn’t even matter that he was Kyuhyun’s new ‘lover’?

“You’re so clumsy,” the younger boy rolled his eyes, gripping Zhoumi’s arm.

“I’m not the clumsiest,” he argued, laughing and bumping shoulders with Kyuhyun.

 

  1. _You don’t speak your affections for someone._



He couldn’t take it anymore. He really couldn’t. Another half hour had passed but with each passing _minute_ they got touchier and sweeter. Once again, Ryeowook was most definitely _not_ jealous. He was just upset about the whole situation.

The final straw though, hadn’t come until they were all resting on a bench, apparently having a heart to heart. Well, Ryeowook wasn’t a part of it, as was the trend that day.

Zhoumi leaned forward on his elbows, looking past Ryeowook who sat between them for whatever reason. The graduated young man was softly gazing at Kyuhyun, saying, “You know, I didn’t think it was possible but you still make my heart beat faster…,” he glanced at Ryeowook, “sometimes I wish I hadn’t let go of Kyuhyun so soon. But I’m glad he’s with someone like you.”

It sounded kind. It really, _really_ did…but Ryeowook had had enough. There was something so annoying about Zhoumi. The way he flirted using his mild mannered attitude was possibly the worst part of him. Even though he sounded sincere, surely he wasn’t.

If he had been sincere then how could he break Kyuhyun’s heart like that? How could he be so heartless as to just walk away without telling his boyfriend of an entire _year_ that they were over? Ryeowook didn’t know all of the details but from what he saw on that list of ten things Kyuhyun had written, Zhoumi wasn’t worthy of praising anyone. His praise was equal to a slut’s pick up lines.

“I’m done.”

  1. _You show your feelings more often._



“What?” Kyuhyun turned to Ryeowook, confused.

“How can you be so calm and welcoming after just two hours of talking about _nothing_?” the small and frequently quiet boy shouted. He was on his feet then, flinging an accusatory finger at Zhoumi. “He hurt you so much and now you’re acting like you guys have always been best friends or something!”

A shameful flush heated Zhoumi’s cheeks but he stayed silent.

Kyuhyun simply gazed at Ryeowook, blank expression giving away nothing.

“I _know_ you, Kyuhyun…I know just by the little things you do. You—”

“—stop.”

Ryeowook shut his mouth, heart dropping to his stomach at the tone of his friend’s words. He really hadn’t meant to snap like that. All of it just came pouring out.

“Zhoumi,” he interrupted the tense air, “I lied. Ryeowook and I aren’t dating.” Kyuhyun’s eyes darted to Ryeowook in time to see the stunned pain twist those gentle features and the rest of his words were trapped in his throat.

Had he said something wrong? Wasn’t he just telling the truth?

Turning away, Ryeowook started off, not daring to look back. He only got a few feet before someone’s hand snatched his wrist, whipping him around.

“Don’t leave, please,” Zhoumi whispered, appearing about ready to cry. But what did he have to cry about? If anyone should’ve been crying, shouldn’t it have been Ryeowook – who had been thoroughly ignored for the past two hours and then offended only moments earlier?

 

  1. _Because you spoke and showed your feelings to Zhoumi. That must mean you really loved him. You found love and love let you down. You’re really the coolest, Kyuhyun._



The sound of a slap resonated through the scarcely populated street. Ryeowook stared indifferently up at Zhoumi’s speechless, wide-eyed, red-cheeked face. “That was for Kyuhyun.” And then started walking away again, this time no one stopped him.

***

Moonlight pooled on the floor of their dorm room, a silvery blue ring between their beds. A huddled figure breathing evenly slumbered in one, while the other was still unoccupied. Its owner was instead wide awake, entranced by the reluctantly placed note addressed to him.

Kyuhyun was leaning back against his desk, a crinkled, abused sheet of paper in his hand.

_Kyuhyun,_

_I accidentally saw your list about Zhoumi and thought that you need a better list than that. So here, I’ll tell you the top ten things that make you someone better than Zhoumi._

 

  1. _Deep down, you really care about people – to the point where you will spend days, weeks, and months thinking about them._
  2. _You burden yourself with the problems of people you care about, no matter what you may feel._
  3. _When you feel strongly for someone you’ll put your heart and soul into showing them._
  4. _You’re more honest than anyone else._
  5. _You’re modest about the important things._
  6. _Always, you act tough but really, you’re sensitive about pain._
  7. _Your subconscious is the real you._
  8. _You don’t speak your affections for someone._
  9. _You show your feelings more often._
  10. _Because you spoke and showed your feelings to Zhoumi. That must mean you really loved him. You found love and love let you down. You’re really the coolest, Kyuhyun._



 

_Happy Valentine’s Day!_

_Ryeowook_

_Ryeowook,_

_You left before I could show you what I wanted to show you. Next time I’ll take you there. So don’t leave without me again, okay?_

_Kyuhyun_

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

_Soft whimpers floated into the suffocating air, adding to the heated session in darkness. It was difficult to breathe between his sweet moans and sloppy kisses, but somehow, they managed. There, in a steamy, black bedroom, sins were being committed._

_“Hot, babe,” a strong voice whispered huskily, sweaty palms sliding across an expanse of white, muscled abs, “you can be as loud as you want…”_

_“Mm…o-okay…,” he panted, tight jeaned legs wrapping around the young man topping him. Another illicit sound escaped him, adding to the lust filled atmosphere. His fingers tangled in unfamiliar layers of hair, dragging their mouths together in a tongue-fervent kiss._

Sungmin’s eyes burst open and he gasped wildly, sitting upright in bed. Roaring pain in his skull sent the black haired beauty toppling back to the mess of blankets and pillows. Groaning in aggravation, Sungmin rolled over, gripping either side of his sorely sensitive head.

“What the hell…,” he muttered, sliding his body halfway off the mattress so the world would stop spinning.

Just beyond the wall of the room he could hear clanging and banging – obnoxious. Gritting his teeth, Sungmin pulled a pillow over his ears, wincing at the scraping metal heard through an apparently thin layer of paint and building support.

Wait. Where was he?

The blankets tangled in his legs weren’t the right color. The desk across from him was too big. The walls were wider, larger. There were drapes over the window…good lord. Sungmin wasn’t even in the school, was he? Wait…how did he know so much about the room? How long had he been in there?

What happened last night? He flinched away at the furious pain that erupted when he tried to think. Getting straight to the answer was not going to happen. Sighing, Sungmin closed his eyes, taking himself on a trip down memory lane…

 

_“Sorry, Dongwoon, good luck with the dance though!” Sungmin apologized, clasping his hands together sincerely before turning away from the other boy._

_“Whatever just make sure you don’t do anything stupid over there!” he called after the receding third year._

_There was a cab waiting to drive Minho and him to the University campus. Sungmin peered uneasily at it for a few seconds but then shook his head and pulled the door open. Ducking his head, the boy entered, taking a seat beside Minho._

_The latter was just putting his phone away before turning to look at Sungmin. “I just told them we’ll be there soon. Are you excited?”_

_“As excited as I’ll ever be,” he answered somewhat blandly, not exactly hyped up to spend the lovers’ holiday with a bunch of matchmaker-me fools. Sungmin had a boyfriend to boast about! Why did he have to attend a hook-up party for singles? Oh right, it was Kyuhyun’s fault. It was_ always _his fault. If he just weren’t around then everything would be much better._

_Minho patted the other male’s shoulder. “Just deal with it,” he remarked, shrugging, “it’s only one night. You’ll be back with your precious Ryeowookie by morning, y’know.”_

_“You can only be optimistic because you’ll be with your lover,” Sungmin argued childishly, crossing his arms and looking out the window._

What had Minho said after that? Sungmin squeezed his closed eyes, trying to remember what boy’s reply to the insinuation was. After what felt like hours, he gave up and massaged his aching brain.

There was still more to remember though, even if he would never be able to recall Minho’s words.

 

_The apartment door was open, loud music pouring out into the lively hallway. There were college students drinking and talking all around, some of them throwing winks and sultry leers at Minho and Sungmin._

_For the most part, all of the looks were ignored as the pair proceeded to cross the threshold of Key’s apartment, entering the center of mayhem._

_Lights brightened the area, allowing for proper conversation between willing people and as a spotlight for those who were having contests. It was absolutely fascinating that someone was standing upside-down, chugging a keg through a tube. Where were the laws of science when you wanted them?_

_A cute, rather slender boy came up to Minho, throwing his arms around the taller one’s neck and kissing him sloppily. Sungmin saw it, cringing away uneasily. After another moment of overly passionate kissing, they broke apart and Key eyed the small, black haired third year. “Where’s Taeminnie? And who’s this?” he asked rather blatantly._

_Sungmin answered, “Taemin was too busy with his boyfriend to come. I’m Sungmin.”_

_“He has a boyfriend? Since when?” the older boy’s eyes widened, “nice to meet you by the way. I’m Key.” He offered his hand happily._

_“Ah, hi,” Sungmin mumbled, oddly hesitant to shake hands, “thank for throwing this party.” The words sounded forced though, as if pushed through piles and piles of swallowed retorts._

Why didn’t Sungmin like Key? There was nothing strange about him as far as he could remember – and although that wasn’t far, it was enough. Did something else happen after that?

Slowly but surely, he got himself into a sitting position, trying to keep his brain from rattling. The sound of clanking metal ceased much to his pleasure.

“Thank the lord,” he muttered, carefully scanning the room.

 

_“This is my roommate, Jonghyun,” Key introduced, opening the door to reveal a sharp featured young man pulling a shirt on._

_The boy yelped, jerking the material all the way down. “What the hell are you doing?” Jonghyun snapped, holding his body as if he were still exposed._

_Rolling his eyes, Key walked into the only quiet room in the apartment, “Chill out. I’m just showing Minho’s friend around the place.”_

Sungmin chuckled at the memory, finding the little bit of humor in an otherwise strained, confusing situation. Why was he asleep in Jonghyun’s room? This was the room in his memory right? Glancing around once more, Sungmin confirmed the assumption and continued his journey through last night’s events.

There were some blurry spots but he had long since decided it was okay if he couldn’t recall everything. So long as the key points stayed intact then everything would be alright…right?

 

_Minho and Key disappeared into the main room, chatting and drinking with some of their mutual friends. There were a number of people surrounding them, all apparently interested in whatever Minho was saying._

_As for Sungmin, he was leaning against the kitchen counter, unsure what he was doing. For a while he had contemplated interrupting Ryeowook’s “date” with Kyuhyun but then thought better of it._

Why hadn’t he called again? Sungmin sighed, ignoring the curiosity.

 

_A cup of punch was placed in front of Sungmin and he looked down at it. “You haven’t eaten or drank anything yet, right?” Jonghyun asked, grinning as he took a sip of his own drink._

_Sungmin picked up the plastic cup, staring down at an unidentifiable liquid. “What is this?”_

_“I think this is punch,” Jonghyun replied, “Key said there wouldn’t be any liquor since there would be some underage kiddies,” he winked at Sungmin, “at this party.”_

  _“Oh…but I saw some people drinking outside.”_

_“Would you stop worrying?” the older boy laughed, tipping the drink towards the smaller one’s mouth._

 

“Dammit, that _so_ wasn’t punch,” Sungmin growled to himself, rubbing the fresh pounding in his head. How much alcohol was in that drink? Better yet, how hadn’t he tasted the bitterness of it? Shouldn’t it have been obvious considering everything?

Actually, Sungmin blinked a few times, trying to remember how many times his cup had been refilled. If each one was spiked, would that equal a lot of alcohol?

Minho’s face suddenly popped into his mind, acting like a barrier against the rest of his memories. Why the hell wouldn’t go away? Sungmin tenderly massaged his scalp, attempting to calm the quickly boiling anger. It was all nerves and pain making him temperamental, surely.

The door of the room clicked and Sungmin lunged back into a laying position, somehow scared of being caught awake. He pretended to sleep, keeping his breaths deep and even, body as relaxed as he could get it. Only problem was that the quick movement had sent needles plunging into all points of his brain. Every square centimeter of skin crawled and stung, but he kept it together, silently clenching his jaw.

“He’s still asleep,” Minho’s familiar voice echoed through the room, low and soft.

A less then comforting voice answered, “Ah, well I have to go talk to one of my professors for a little bit. I’ll be back in like twenty minutes. If he wakes up by then there’s food in the kitchen for the both of you.”

“Thanks Key. I’m going to take a shower.”

“…Want me to join you?”

Sungmin frowned internally, keeping his expression straight on the outside. Didn’t Key have to go talk to his teacher of something? Why was he flirting with Minho?

A quiet chuckle and then the younger boy was saying, “Just hurry and talk to your professor. I’ll be here when you get back.” There was a very faint sound of movement and then the door was closing again.

After another moment of tense silence, Sungmin let out a breath and he sat up, slower this time. Just outside of the room, the sound of running water filled the apartment and then the spouting of a shower head raining down.

 

***

_Minho dabbed the side of Sungmin’s face with a wet towel. The latter hissed spitefully, reaching out to grab the hand causing him pain. “Stop it!” Sungmin snapped, failing to snatch the unrelenting moves._

_“Who told you to get into a fight? Why were you fighting anyway?” Minho muttered, gripping the injured boy’s wrist tightly, “You’re usually more level-headed than this aren’t you? Has your evil twin I don’t know about suddenly replaced you?”_

_“Not funny,” he mumbled. “I just don’t like seeing people force themselves on other people. I’ve experienced it once. I don’t need to see it happening right in front of me.”_

_A pale blush tinted Minho’s cheeks. He lowered the towel, eyes apologetically looking up at Sungmin. “Damn…sorry, I already forgot that that’s how we met.”_

_“It’s…not a big deal.”_

Well that wasn’t very convincing.

 

_“If it’s still bothering you two years later, it’s a pretty big, fucking deal,” Minho slumped forward, hands coming to rest on either side of the toilet seat Sungmin occupied. “I swear I don’t do that shit anymore.”_

_“I know you don’t.”_

_“You don’t sound convinced.”_

_“Well how am I supposed to sound convinced?” Sungmin huffed. “You expect me to believe that you changed because you met Ryeowook and me? What a joke. That’s such a cliché.”_

_Minho didn’t reply just shrugged and went back to cleaning the wound on Sungmin’s face._

 

Wound? Sungmin stood up, falling forward onto the carpet. A small squeak of pain escaped him before he sat up, struggling to his feet. He grabbed the wall, dragging his weak, heavy body towards the door.

With greatly exerted effort, Sungmin managed to twist the knob and leave the room. A rush of warm, fresh air hit him and he nearly staggered back, surprised by how stagnant the atmosphere had been inside the room. That wasn’t the only surprising thing though. A rush of memories hit him head on – much to his dismay.

 

_Sungmin slammed into the wall, giggling and pushing back against the person who held him back. There were some incoherent, slurred words and then a forceful pair of lips was crashing down on Sungmin’s._

_“How is it?” the person kissing him muttered hotly, sending shivers straight down Sungmin’s spine._

He shuddered in real time, shakily making his way down the hall. Within a few moments, the corridor was falling away to reveal a rather spacious living room. There was a mirror hanging from the wall opposite him, right beside a balcony.

Sungmin nearly screamed when he saw his reflection. Slamming a hand over his mouth, the black haired boy strode up to the mirror, momentarily forgetting his aching body.

Deep red and purple bruises littered his throat and chest, many of them disappearing behind the low hanging collar of his shirt. There was also a notable scratched, greenish-black mark on his cheekbone. When his fingers brushed over it, dull pain thudded through. Wincing, Sungmin pulled back, sliding his hand over the flat, dark bites that, in fact, did not hurt one bit. That was certainly the worst part.

Sungmin swallowed hard, tears welling up in his eyes as more memories surfaced in his hung-over mind.

 

_“I heard you have a boyfriend,” the older boy remarked, sucking and slurping at a spot on his neck. Those foreign fingers were moving all across Sungmin’s bare chest, rubbing and pinching here and there, causing moans to fall from those heated lips. “Why aren’t you with him on Valentine’s Day?”_

_“I…I promised I would come…to this…,” he panted, back arching up as that talented mouth found the sweet spot on his throat._

_Chuckling, the University student bit down hard, making a deep mark there. “Don’t worry, we can stop when you want,” he stated casually._

_“Mm…hmm…,” Sungmin turned his head away, nails digging into the fabric of the other person’s shirt._

At this point, he was sitting on the floor, body having collapsed from the truth. Tears dripped onto the carpet, leaving wet stains. Sungmin didn’t bother to cover his face, body trembling from guilt. Why had he done that? Being drunk wasn’t an excuse.

He had willingly hooked up with someone that wasn’t Ryeowook! How was he supposed to face the person he had said he _loved_?

“You’re awake?”

Sungmin turned around, abruptly bursting into loud sobs at the sight of Minho.

Alarmed, the tall boy crouched down, pulling Sungmin into an awkward, hasty hug. “W-What’s wrong? Why are you crying so much?” he asked quickly, gently stroking the soft hair. “Hey, hey, it’s okay!” he attempted, stuttering and rubbing the boy’s back.

“No it isn’t!” Sungmin wailed, clinging to his friend (?). “I c-cheated on Ryeowook…! I cheated on him with Jonghyun-h-hyung r-right?” He nuzzled his head into Minho’s naked chest, trying to ease the renewed pain. “A-And my head hurts so much…I can’t t-think straight…”

If it were any other situation, Minho probably would’ve teased the smaller boy, told him how cute he was when he was upset and crying. But it was a serious dilemma. Damn. He pushed Sungmin back a bit, eyes roaming over the map of hickeys.

Anger and what appeared to be clear jealousy shot through his body. Shoving it all down, Minho wiped away the tears, saying, “You didn’t hook up with Jonghyun.”

“But I did! Look at this!” he pointed at the marks, red face twisting in frustration.

Minho bit his lip, thinking fast for something to say. Then, in a flurry, the solution hit him. Ice seeped into his blood as a slow, meaningfully bitter smirk crossed his lips.

Leaning closer to Sungmin, he pressed the palm of one hand against the warm, trembling cheek. “I forced myself on you last night.”

“…no but in my memories—”

Minho shut the other boy up with a rough kiss, dragging Sungmin’s surprised mouth open to slip his tongue inside. Seconds passed as the heated touch went on, neither side doing anything to make it stop.

Eventually, Minho backed away though, dark eyes impassively gazing down at Sungmin. “Isn’t that familiar? Or do I have to call you ‘babe’ to make you remember?”

Crimson colored Sungmin’s face as he wiped his mouth, hate morphing the liquid doe eyes. “You…you really _did that_?” Disgust drenched every word, slowly sinking into the pours of his longstanding emotions. “You would hurt me like that…?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged, looking away casually, “you said it yourself last night. How could your appearance in my life…actually _change me that much_?” _Fuck my life, fuck my life, and fuck my life again…_

Instead of a slap, or more crying, or even yelling, Minho found himself sprawled across the living room floor, holding his pounding, possibly bruised jaw. The rather effeminate boy was standing over him, white knuckled fist still tightly clenched after delivering a ruthless punch.

“Who do you think are?!” Sungmin shouted. “All this time you were just pretending to care about Ryeowook and I? How could you do that? Just _how…_ ”

Minho said nothing, staying on the ground, flexing his jaw.

“Whatever,” Sungmin muttered, staggering towards the door, trying to keep his mind focused on getting out of there. He paused at the doorway, his voice drifting through the silence, “Don’t come near me or Ryeowook ever again. You’re a fucking douche. You’re worse than Kyuhyun even.” Shaking his head slowly, Sungmin threw the door open, shoving past a surprised Key.

The latter walked into the apartment building, rushing over to where Minho was still collapsed on the floor. “What happened…?” he asked, gingerly touching the swollen red mark on his lover’s face.

“Just doing Jonghyun-hyung a favor,” Minho mused humorlessly, eyes vacantly cast down.

 


	21. Chapter 21

_Last Night…_

 

Minho watched the pretty boy jogging towards the cab and broke into a grin. _Finally_. The phone in his hand buzzed, dragging him away from the shameless ogling. It was a message from Key asking if they’ll be at the party soon.

**I say: Yeah, we’re heading over now**

Sungmin peered uneasily at it for a few seconds but then shook his head and pulled the door open. Ducking his head, the boy entered, taking a seat beside Minho.

The latter was just putting his phone away before turning to look at Sungmin. “I just told them we’ll be there soon. Are you excited?”

“As excited as I’ll ever be,” he answered somewhat blandly. Sungmin had a boyfriend to boast about after all. It made sense he wouldn’t be superbly hyped up for what was essentially a hook-up part.

Minho patted the other male’s shoulder. “Just deal with it,” he remarked, shrugging, “it’s only one night. You’ll be back with your precious Ryeowookie by morning, y’know.”

“You can only be optimistic because you’ll be with your lover,” Sungmin argued childishly, crossing his arms and looking out the window.

 _Yeah,_ he internally scoffed _I’m going to be optimistic because of my boyfriend. How could you not see it’s_ you _? It’ll always be you._

Minho closed his eyes for a moment, but then smiled at Sungmin, saying, “You’re right. I guess I will be happy since I’m going to be with the person I care most about.”

The rest of the car ride went on in silence, Sungmin’s face completely turned away from him.

 

The apartment door was open, loud music pouring out into the lively hallway. There were college students drinking and talking all around, some of them throwing winks and sultry leers at Minho and Sungmin.

For the most part, all of the looks were ignored as the pair proceeded to cross the threshold of Key’s apartment, entering the center of mayhem.

Lights brightened the area, allowing for proper conversation between willing people and as a spotlight for those who were having contests. It was absolutely fascinating that someone was standing upside-down, chugging a keg through a tube. Where were the laws of science when you wanted them?

A cute, rather slender boy came up to Minho, throwing his arms around the taller one’s neck and kissing him sloppily. Minho wrapped his arms around Key’s waist, pulling him closer out of habit. From the corner of his eye, he could’ve sworn Sungmin cringed away uneasily. Abruptly realizing what he was doing, Minho broke away from the overly passionate kissing, breath coming out in shorter gasps.

“Where’s Taeminnie? And who’s this?” Key asked rather blatantly.

Sungmin answered before Minho could be the middle man, “Taemin was too busy with his boyfriend to come. I’m Sungmin.”

“He has a boyfriend? Since when?” Key’s eyes widened, “nice to meet you by the way. I’m Key.” He offered his hand happily. Minho could only sigh with relief at the friendly behavior. You see, the older boy had always been a tad…shy to put it nicely.

“Ah, hi,” Sungmin mumbled, oddly hesitant to shake hands, “thanks for throwing this party.” The words sounded forced though, as if pushed through piles and piles of swallowed retorts.

 _Do they have a history?_ Minho considered for only a second longer before Key was suddenly jumping up and down, pulling on his hand. “What is it?” he asked, peering down at the smaller boy.

“I want to introduce you to that cool roommate I’ve been telling you about,” he answered, smiling sweetly.

Minho’s gaze softened and he nodded before shooting Sungmin a _follow us_ look. Almost grudgingly, it seemed, Sungmin listened, trailing behind them.

“This is my roommate, Jonghyun,” Key introduced, opening the door to reveal a sharp featured young man pulling a shirt on.

A smirk tugged at Minho’s lips. _Maybe we should’ve knocked?_

The boy yelped, jerking the material all the way down. “What the hell are you doing?” Jonghyun snapped, holding his body as if he were still exposed.

Rolling his eyes, Key walked into the only quiet room in the apartment, “Chill out. I’m just showing Minho’s friend around the place.”

“Oh, well why am I part of the tour?” Jonghyun grimaced, leaving his bedroom and shutting the door firmly behind him. Minho watched the angular faced young man turn his attention to Sungmin and the look that came across him was…

“What’re you doing?” Key whispered, tugging on Minho’s arm. The latter blinked, only then realizing his had half moved in between Sungmin and Jonghyun.

Minho chuckled awkwardly and turned away from the scene. “Ah, sorry, I guess I’m a little tired. Do you want to get some drinks?” He draped his arm around Key’s shoulders, leading him down the hall. Behind him, he heard the sounds of exchanged greetings and then Sungmin’s laugh. _Shit…_ He clenched his jaw uncomfortably, knowing that he shouldn’t look back.

There was no reason to! Sungmin would never cheat on Ryeowook. The only thing proven by Minho butting in would be jealousy – jealousy that he wasn’t the one allowed to flirt with the cute boy.

 

Minho and Key lounged around the main room, chatting and drinking with some of their mutual friends. There were a number of people surrounding them, all apparently interested in whatever Minho was saying. Actually, what the fuck was he talking about?

The words kept pouring out but none of it really made sense to him. Was he even coherent? Were they all too drunk to realize his story was absolute shit?

“Are you drinking soda?” one of them giggled, glancing at Minho’s virgin drink.

“I’m a minor,” he replied, shrugging and sipping, “I’m just being a good boy.”

At that, all of them roared with laughter, as if it was the funniest thing in the world to imagine their Minho being a chaste boy. Even Key was laughing a bit, slightly buzzed from his drink. _Yeah, this party is totally minor-friendly._

His eyes wandered to the open kitchen, seeing Sungmin standing alone with his phone. An aching in his heart nearly sent him over there to keep the boy company but then everything dropped.

Minho watched as a cup of punch was placed in front of Sungmin and he looked down at it, phone sliding away. Jonghyun asked him a question, grinning as he took a sip of his own drink.

Sungmin picked up the plastic cup, staring down at an unidentifiable liquid.

Jonghyun answered whatever question Sungmin posed, probably something about the refreshment in his hand.

 Uncertainty continued to grow on his features but then the older boy was laughing and tipping the drink towards the smaller one’s mouth.

Minho forced himself to think little of it as the color cup was the same as his. There was no way it was alcoholic so everything was probably okay.

 

A little while later, Key was drunk and delirious, practically on the verge of falling asleep. The party had been uneventful thus far, thus prompting Minho to just tuck his lover into bed and take care of any mishaps that might come in the proceeding hours.

The bedroom was a bit messy but otherwise familiar and warm. Minho pulled the blanket over Key, brushing hair out of the pretty boy’s face. _You’re still as beautiful as before…_ He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his first love’s lips.

Slowly, those liquid eyes opened and twinkled, arms reaching up to drag Minho down. “Surprise~!” Key giggled, sloppily holding the taller boy to his neck. “Are we having sex?” he slurred.

Minho stifled a laugh and shook his head, nuzzling his face into the crook of his lover’s throat. “Sorry, not tonight,” he replied, placing gossamer kisses along the sloping skin, “go to sleep.”

“I don’t want to…,” he whined, pushing back against the innocent lips on his neck.

“C’mon now it’s time to sleep,” Minho murmured, pulling Key’s arms away. “Goodnight, Key,” he whispered, squeezing his lover’s hand once before turning towards the door.

Just as he did, a loud crashing noise brought the party outside to a halt. Minho checked to see if Key heard – he didn’t – and then he was hurrying out of the bedroom, down the hall, and finally towards whatever the hell was happening.

People were crowded in a circle which Minho had to shove himself through to get to the front. A few of them tried to push him back but that wasn’t about to happen when he had a responsibility to take care of the party. _Dammit, maybe I shouldn’t have put Key to sleep._

In the center of the conflict was the one person Minho hadn’t been expecting to find. Sungmin, bleeding and steely, stood over an older boy who was easily twice his size.

“Don’t touch people without their permission you shit-faced bastard,” he stated hoarsely, preparing to slam the heel of his foot into the already wide-eyed, nose-bleeding boy.

Minho lunged forward, grabbing Sungmin before anymore violence could ensue. Throwing him over one shoulder, with some effort, he raced away from the group of people who then dispersed. There was no point in sticking around when no one else would be beat up.

They disappeared into the bathroom, door shutting loudly behind them. He set Sungmin down on the toilet seat, gripping his hips to keep him from running back to fight more. “What the hell are you doing?” Minho hissed, glaring mere centimeters away from the other boy. “Why would you get into a fight?!”

Sungmin said nothing, just writhed under the strong arms pinning him down. Blood bloomed on his normally smooth white cheek and Minho sighed, giving the angry boy a warning glare before steadily releasing the pressure on his hips and going to grab a towel.

He dabbed the side of Sungmin’s face with a wet wipe, at times applying a little extra strength. What could he say? It was frustrating to have to take care of such a stubborn person.

The latter hissed spitefully, reaching out to grab the hand causing him pain. “Stop it!” Sungmin snapped, failing to snatch the unrelenting moves.

“Who told you to get into a fight? Why were you fighting anyway?” Minho muttered, gripping the injured boy’s wrist tightly, “You’re usually more level-headed than this aren’t you? Has your evil twin I don’t know about suddenly replaced you?”

“Not funny,” he mumbled. “I just don’t like seeing people force themselves on other people. I’ve experienced it once. I don’t need to see it happening right in front of me.”

A pale blush tinted Minho’s cheeks. He lowered the towel, eyes apologetically looking up at Sungmin. “Damn…sorry, I already forgot that that’s how we met.”

“It’s…not a big deal.”

“If it’s still bothering you two years later, it’s a pretty big, fucking deal,” Minho slumped forward, hands coming to rest on either side of the toilet seat Sungmin occupied. “I swear I don’t do that shit anymore.”

“I know you don’t.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“Well how am I supposed to sound convinced?” Sungmin huffed. “You expect me to believe that you changed because you met Ryeowook and me? What a joke. That’s such a cliché.”

Minho didn’t reply just shrugged and went back to cleaning the wound on Sungmin’s face. After a minute or so, his nose caught a whiff of something…something very, very wrong. He lowered the towel, tilting Sungmin’s chin up and then down, side to side. “You’re _fucking_ drunk aren’t you?” he sighed, exasperated.

“No,” Sungmin extended the word, clicking his tongue at the end, “I was drinking punch, stupid! How could I get drunk?”

“Did you ever get the drink yourself?” Minho growled.

No answer.

 _I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. Ryeowook will kill me. When Ryeowook fails to kill me, Kyuhyun is going to kill me_ just _because Ryeowook will come crying to him upset, because that’s how the world works right? It’s always Minho’s fault. After all, who else could make mistakes? It’s not like anyone else knows how to slip up! Of course not!_

“After we’re done cleaning you up, you’re going to bed.”

Sungmin nodded albeit sullenly. “My head is starting to hurt anyway…,” he conceded, taking Minho’s hand and bringing the towel back to his cheek. “Can you finish?”

A blush crept over the taller boy’s face as he silently agreed. Why did Drunk-Sungmin have to be so cute, you know when he wasn’t violently attacking anyone?

When they finished up, Minho opened the door, leading Sungmin out by the hand. They weren’t even two steps into the hallway when someone came barreling at Minho with news of one of their party guests streaking down the hallways.

“Are you kidding me?” Minho muttered, letting go of Sungmin reluctantly. He glanced back at the absent faced boy, saying, “Go to an empty room and sleep.”

In the meantime, he had to go find the stupid drunkard running through the corridors naked. It probably wouldn’t have been a problem had he not been a scholarship student. Minho swallowed all his curses, running as fast as he could through the building looking for a stupid boy.

 

After what felt like forever, Minho was back in the freshly emptied apartment, picking up trash and cleaning sticky surfaces. Whose brilliant idea was it to create such a thing as parties? They were such a hassle and no one really had _fun_. It was just an excuse to trash some stranger’s home and then leave before you had to take responsibility.

Minho tied the first bag of garbage, washed his hands and then headed down the hall to check on Key and Sungmin. The first room that came up wasn’t fully closed but it was certainly dark. Was Jonghyun asleep? If he was then it was about time he got a rude awakening. Who the fuck did he think he was? Why was Minho cleaning _his_ apartment?

“Hey—” he cut himself off when he heard voices inside the unlit room, both of them undeniably familiar.

Soft whimpers floated into the suffocating air, adding to the heated session in darkness. It was difficult to breathe between his sweet moans and sloppy kisses, but somehow, they managed.

“Hot, babe,” a strong voice whispered huskily, sweaty palms sliding across an expanse of white, muscled abs, “you can be as loud as you want…”

“Mm…o-okay…,” he panted, tight jeaned legs wrapping around the young man topping him. Another illicit sound escaped him, adding to the lust filled atmosphere. His fingers tangled in unfamiliar layers of hair, dragging their mouths together in a tongue-fervent kiss.

Minho flipped the light on, proceeding to rip Jonghyun off of Sungmin. White-hot rage boiled in his black eyes as he nearly curled his hands around the older boy’s throat. “He has a boyfriend,” he said as calmly as possible… “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO HIM?!” …it didn’t last long.

Dragging Jonghyun out of the room, ignorant of all protests and squirming, Minho shut the door to the bedroom, locking it. “And stay the _fuck out_.” He snarled through the barrier, considering kicking it for good measure – or just to relieve some anger.

“W-What happened?” Sungmin mumbled, rumpled figure tangled in bed sheets.

Minho gulped, lust shooting through his body as fury drained away. _Oh no…oh shit..._ He looked around hastily searching for somewhere to go before he was tempted to join that lovely, flushed person in the bed. “N-Nothing,” he stuttered, walking over to the sliding closet, “just go to bed.”

“H-Huh…? Okay…,” then there was the sound of flopping down on blankets.

Following that noise was Minho lying down on a pile of extra blankets and pillows inside the closet. He shut the sliding door and closed his eyes.

How had he ended up sleeping in a closet?

Fuck.


	22. Chapter 22

Pink, red, and gold lights flickered to life in the dimmed ballroom, entire space bathed in warm, dreamy colors. They reflected off of hanging ornaments, glossy surfaces twinkling and spinning round and round. Behind the black sound table was a hired deejay testing the equipment and skimming through music.

Mir descended a ladder stiffly, trying to stop the nervous tremors of being off the ground. Really, heights weren’t his thing. Even leaning over the ledge of the second floor scared him. Being anywhere high and/or spacious was a definite no-no.

“Slow and steady wins the race?” Dongwoon chuckled, hand pressing against Mir’s lower back for support. The latter subconsciously relaxed into the reassuring palm, landing on the ground with a soft thud.

“Ah…,” Mir mumbled, turning around to face his friend. “Is this it?” He questioned, looking around the alluring set for the dance.

Fake, glowing candles were centerpieces for the round tables surrounding the dance floor, giving off the feel of real flames. The best part though was the lack of danger. There were some crazy kids at a reform school after all.

Dongwoon nodded, folding up the ladder and putting it away in the open storage closet. Once it was stacked against an empty wall, he shut the door, locked it, and walked back over to where Mir stood in the middle of the room.

It… _He_ was so beautiful. Dongwoon couldn’t help but think that way. There he was. There was his soulmate, all alone in the center of an empty space just _asking_ for company. Dongwoon strode towards Mir, arms wrapping around that slender waist without pause.

It felt right and he just didn’t want to fight the feeling. He wanted to hold him like this into the future, so why wasn’t he allowed to? Why couldn’t he have met Mir first?

Slow, sweet music wove itself through the atmosphere, courtesy of a very sharp-eyed deejay. Dongwoon only smiled as thanks, hoping it could convey even a quarter of his gratitude.

“W-What are you doing?” the boy in question mumbled, eyes rising to meet Dongwoon. He had also noticed the lulling notes filling their private dance hall, at least for now it was private. How much longer would it last?

Pink and red lights flowed around them, casting strange shadows on their faces. It didn’t matter though, not when Dongwoon could feel Mir’s warmth and his heart beating against his own. Gently, he tucked the smaller boy’s head into his shoulder. “…I…,” Dongwoon wanted the words to come out but the same thought kept coming to mind.

 

_Once I say I love you I think you  
Would be gone, oh baby_

 

Mir closed his eyes, so strangely comfortable against the broad shouldered body. Carefully, he slid his fingers up and around Dongwoon’s waist, keeping him close.

  
_Cuz we are too young to love so I can say_  
Little longer…hold you in my arms  
  


“What do you feel when I’m with you?” he whispered near Mir’s ear, aching need clear in his voice. “Please…please tell me.” His arms tightened around the slight figure, feeling the latter return the embrace.

 

 _but I will be waiting for you  
To say you want me to be with you_  
_I'll live in your love and_  
Your dream forever and ever

  
Mir turned his head, taking a deep breath and nearly sighing at the intoxicating scent. “I feel happy. I feel so…happy.” He couldn’t think of a better word to describe it. Every time they brushed fingers or stood a little too close or shared a quiet moment, Mir wanted fall into his arms and stay there.

Slowly, Taemin gazed at Mir, searching his lovely, rounded eyes for honesty.   


_Whenever you look in my eyes  
There are so many smiles and tears_

 

“You’re everything I’m not,” Dongwoon sighed, running his fingers through the smaller boy’s soft hair, “and I want to be everything you’re not. That way…we’ll make something perfect.”  


_I was born to love feel so deep inside._  
If you need me I'll be your man  


Taemin’s expression crumpled in the dim light of the ballroom as he melted under Mir’s eyes.   


_Whenever you look in my eyes,  
I do want to show you my love_

 

Taking a slow, calming breath, Taemin reached up, kissing his lover’s lips. When they parted, his mouth formed the words…  


_I make up my mind to make your dreams come true. Nobody can stop me…_

 

“I love you, Mir.”

_How can I ask who you're still looking for?_

 

Dongwoon fell into silence as he continued swaying against his soul mate’s body. They fell into step a long time ago, following one another without strain or thought. All he wanted was for the moment to go on forever, for their song to endlessly replay. It wasn’t such a painful wish was it? Why could it not be granted? Had Dongwoon done something so horrible in a past life…to make it impossible for him to be with Mir?  


_I'm the one, since love seems to make me blind_  
I search all day long  
But I cannot hold  


“Do you still remember when we first met?” Dongwoon murmured.

Mir shook his head against the fabric of the taller one’s shirt. “Barely…”  


_We talk on the phone every night  
And so came closer day by day_

 

“Hey Mir,” Taemin whispered.  


_I touch you_

 

The honey blonde’s fingertips ran across his lover’s stunned face before he pressed another trembling kiss to his favorite lips.

_and kiss you_

 

Taemin dropped his head, arms dropping to rest around Mir’s hips.

_and hold you_

 

Dongwoon breathed shakily, forehead dropping to the smaller boy’s shoulder.   


_To feel but in dream_  
_in my arms, in my soul_  
I want to hold you baby  
You don't know how much I love you  
Do you baby  


He gently pushed away from Mir, hands coming up to caress the nervous features. “You know how I feel about you,” Dongwoon tilted his head ever so slightly…  


_Like a sun rising up,_

 

“I’m trying Mir,” he promised sincerely, eyes squeezing shut for a long moment, “but I just…”  


_I can't stop loving you._  
_Can't hold back anymore_  


Mir felt himself being jerked away from Dongwoon. He spun around to see Taemin staring at him in confusion and hurt. “What’re you doing Mir?”   


_Whenever you look in my eyes_  
There are so many smiles and tears  


“Nothing,” he answered quickly, “I was just testing the music.”

“Oh,” Taemin’s worried face cleared and he pulled his lover into a deep, slow kiss.

Dongwoon simply watched, frozen to the spot, wanting so badly to step between them, to stop what he saw as a blasphemous act against souls. But then he let it all go. He let the anger and resentment disperse, offering a very small smile to the couple – sincere or not, it was difficult to tell.   


_I was born to love feel so deep inside_  
If you need me,   
I'll be your man (I'll be your man)  
whenever you look in my eyes (in my eyes)  
I do want to show you my love

 

Mir finally managed to shake away the shock. His heart beat rapidly, lips trembling as he gazed at the expectant Taemin.   


_I make up my mind_

 

Across the ballroom Dongwoon was placing the first of many kisses on the lips of a boy named Kikwang. Mir watched without reaction, without ability to react. But then he turned back to Taemin, wanting to badly to…  


_Make your dreams come true_

 

Yes, it was what he had always wanted to say…

_Nobody can stop me to say_ …

 

“Taemin, I love you too.”

 


	23. Chapter 23

Taemin woke up half past eight according to the time display on his phone. Groaning, he rolled over, arms patting the apparently empty space beside him. Eyes shooting open, he sat up, spinning around in an unkempt circle. Where was Mir?

A folded piece of paper emerged from the crumpled bed sheets freezing Taemin in place for a long second. Pale yellow light spilled over the cream colored paper, dazzling against the plain white waves of blanket. “Hmm…?” he mumbled to himself, picking up the sheet.

Slowly, Taemin tugged the loosely creased letter open and read silently:

_Sorry I’m not with you right now._

_I have a history test at 11 AM today so I’ve gone to the library to study. I really wanted to wake up next to you, or just sleep all day with you. We could probably use the rest, right? I feel more at ease when I’m writing to you. Actually, I think both of us are more honest on paper._

_Since I ditched you for studying, I’ll tell you something that I hope will make you smile. Every single detail of our relationship has bounced through my mind since that first, weird night at KUG._

_Do you think it’s strange that I almost liked being harassed by you on that dance floor?_

_Or maybe it’s really odd that I was excited and nervous and so many other things when you pulled me into that bathroom during Thanksgiving break freshman year…and…well, yeah._

_Sometimes I think about the bad times too though, but when I feel like giving up, truly giving up…I go to your dorm room and see the music box I gave you two years ago._

_You kept it safe this whole time._

_Even though I wanted to just walk away...because you just didn’t seem interested in me…I would always stop myself._

_You kept it._

_You kept the only important thing in my life safe. I don’t know how to say my thanks. That music box is the only thing that has ever been constant in my life. It’s as constant as my heartbeat._

_So, in a way, you’re always holding my heart, right?_

_No one else is going to hold it so long as that music box is yours._

_I feel like saying it again, I love you. I promise you’ll hear it a lot from now on. We’re moving forward Taemin…it’s sort of scary but sort of exciting too, huh? Maybe you’re having second thoughts but I hope you aren’t. We…are special. There’s something so special between us._

_It’s hard to describe but maybe someday I’ll be able to find the words to tell you exactly what I’m feeling._

_Write back to me, okay?_

_Mir_

The door clicked, hinges creaking as they were forced to twist. Taemin’s head snapped up, cheeks flushed red, hands fumbling to hide the letter. Over the threshold, Minho trudged inside looking like Hell had chewed him up and spit him back out.

“What’s wrong with you?” Taemin wrinkled his nose, scooting away from his exhausted roommate’s sluggish form.

Minho shot the boy a glare. “Why are you dressed? You and Mir didn’t spend last night together?” he asked with far more venom than intended.

And what a true statement that should have been. Taemin had pushed for sex but after their heart-to-heart at the dance, he couldn’t bring himself to _want_ sex. It just didn’t feel as important as it always had. Being with Mir, just having his arms around him, had been enough that night.

The best part though…the absolute _best_ part was they slept all the way until morning. Taemin couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t awoken in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking from nightmares of the past.

It wasn’t just him that dreamed those dreams. Most of the academy’s students were haunted – a sad side effect from living such a pitiful life. Reliving the worst moments of your history was a nightly thing. Some experiences are impossible to forget and to try and forget grief, abuse, everything in between was simply illogical, a waste of time.

“We just slept together,” Taemin responded, eyeing the purple, puffy bruise on his roommate’s jaw. “Did you get mauled by a forest bear or something?” He cocked an eyebrow, suppressing a grin   

Minho gently rubbed sore body parts, ignoring the snarky jab. There had been enough literal jabbing earlier that morning. Quite honestly, he was tired of being beaten and battered. That one time from freshman year was enough. The last thing he wanted to experience was a huge ass foot knocking the wind out of him...again. “Sungmin punched me,” Minho grunted, gingerly tugging his shirt off and tossing it into a laundry basket by the closet.

“For what?” Taemin asked, sounding flabbergasted.

“I told him that I forced myself on him at Key’s party,” before Taemin could make any comments though, Minho kept talking, “but it was a lie.” Minho smiled wryly at his roommate’s obvious confusion.

Taemin crawled out of bed, legs dangling over the edge. “So…why would you do that?” He frowned, “You’re crazy about Sungmin aren’t you? At least, I thought you were from all of the sleep talking.”

“I don’t sleep talk!” Minho snapped. “And I didn’t want him to think he cheated on Ryeowook.” An annoyed sigh slipped from him. “Key’s roommate, Jonghyun, was the one who made a move on Sungmin. If Sungmin thought he drunkenly hooked up with Jonghyun, he’d feel ten times worse than,” Minho pointed at himself, wincing a bit at his clenching jaw muscles, “if he thought I took total advantage of him.”

Taemin could only stare for an initial reaction. Once that phase passed, he shook his head slowly and said, “That’s such fucked up logic. In the end, he still did something wrong so why are you protecting him? Wouldn’t it be better to stay out of their problem?”

“Since when were you preaching morals?” the taller boy scoffed. “I’m doing what I think will make him feel better.” He crossed his arms, leaning back against a desk, “…You didn’t see his face…I couldn’t take it.” A pink color flushed his cheeks and he turned away from Taemin. “Don’t say it. Just shut up.”

The blonde only chuckled, getting out of bed and walking over to the opposing desk. “I didn’t say anything,” he stated, sitting down and taking out a sheet of paper. “Do you think we’re going soft?” Taemin questioned as he carefully uncapped a pen and traced the letters of Mir’s name.

“…Sometimes,” Minho admitted quietly, moving to his bed and lying down, “but it’s sort of nice…being vulnerable I mean.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right…” And then he began writing a reply to his boyfriend’s note.

 

* * *

 

 

Mir closed the textbook with a resounding thud, humming and smiling. The morning was beautiful. The sky was gorgeous and pale. Everything was just so wonderful!

He even finished studying earlier than expected. It would probably be his first time going into a morning exam with breakfast energizing his body. After tucking the books back in their proper places, he left the Honors Dorm library, traipsing through the hallways.

What was the fun in hurrying from place to place? There was certain freshness about the air, most likely due to the cracked open windows lining the stairs. Although I gave the building a slight chill, it was better than stuffy and overbearing – a common problem the past few months. Just because it was winter the school thought there was a need for boiling their students.

To get back on topic, the past several hours had been absolutely perfect. Mir couldn’t recall a happier day in his life. Not only had Taemin confessed his love _first_ , Taemin had also been the one to insist on _just_ sleeping together.

It was like a dream, a glorious, envious dream.

Every word and feeling kept replaying in his mind and the damned broken record didn’t bother him one bit. Actually, Mir wouldn’t have cared if it continued forever.

_I love you._

Why did such a simple phrase make him weak-kneed and jittery? He felt like an idiot for grinning whenever the words dropped from the Taemin in his imagination. For so long Mir had been praying for the day his feelings would be accepted and it was finally here.

Thank you, Saint Valentine.

This overwhelming happiness was blinding, really. That was why Mir didn’t think twice as he opened the door to his dorm room. Perhaps it should have occurred to him that barging into rooms uninvited never ended well.

Then again, how could Mir possibly recall the day he learned of Taemin and Minho’s intimate relationship – when he was so ecstatic? The mere idea of opening a locked door without warning should have scared him. Yet, there he was, casually pushing the dorm room door open as if he was none the wiser.

Surely, if he had been in a proper state of mind and not high on love, he would’ve thought twice about walking inside.

And as life would have it, Mir met the sore sight of his roommate sleeping soundly in bed, bare body pressed close to a vaguely familiarly faced boy.

It wasn’t supposed to hurt.

Mir silently closed the door, backing away from the room with awkward, jerky steps. No matter what he did, his eyes wouldn’t leave the wooden frame – wouldn’t tear away from the bleeding image on the other side of that thin barrier.

 _Experts say pain is all mental._ Mir flexed his muscles, shaking his head. _Pain is all mental. Pain doesn’t exist._ What was worse, he hated that it wouldn’t go away. A non-existent feeling wouldn’t just _go away._

He was already outside and heading towards the Dining Hall, braving the biting cold without a jacket. Retrieving one hadn’t even crossed his mind after the constricting of his chest and gut. Glaring down at it, Mir found his vision blurred.

“Why…,” he mumbled, blinking away the tears flooding his eyes. It was wrong. He wasn’t allowed to cry about something like this. Dongwoon and Kikwang…hadn’t Mir set them up together?

_Bzzt…bzzt….bzzt…_

“Hello?” Mir answered the phone call, unable to control the trembling of his voice. Really, he wasn’t hurt by seeing Dongwoon and Kikwang together. He was just shocked and scared right? He didn’t like seeing such intimate scenes…yes, that was certainly the reason.

It had to be the reason.

Joon’s voice came through the device, loud and chipper, “Hey! I just wanted to see if you had a good Valentine’s Day!”

“Mmhmm…it was fine,” he replied, feeling even worse at the half-assed answer. Moments before hadn’t he been jumping for joy because his Valentine’s Day had been amazing? Why could Mir bring himself to sound that excited now?

There was a short pause before concern laced Joon’s words, “What happened?”

“…If only one side believes in soulmates, does that mean they’ll never work?”

“Did something happen with Dongwoon, Mir? Tell me.”

Mir only laughed a little, shaking his head to no one in particular. “If the other half of a soul believes in love, then eventually it w-won’t matter if they’re soulmates…isn’t that right, hyung?”

“What are you talking about?” Joon asked, nearly pleaded. When there was no answer, he said in a low voice, “…soulmates are soulmates forever. Even if they don’t end up together, they’re always soulmates.”

“…Hearts are alive and real, hyung,” Mir said softly, “souls are imaginary. They might not even exist. Love is real though. Love can be felt with ever skipped heart beat.”

“But Mir—”

“—I hope you and Yesung-hyung had a good holiday,” he interrupted, “come visit again. Bye.”

***

Ryeowook weaved reluctantly through the tables in the Dining Hall, eyes trained uncomfortably on a certain black haired boy’s back. Slowly, he reached out, placing his hand on Sungmin’s shoulder.

The other boy turned around, doe eyes tired and a bit blood shot. “Wookie…,” he mouthed, noting the gravity of his lover’s expression.

“Can we talk…?” Ryeowook murmured, grip tightening ever-so slightly.

 

* * *

 

 

“Can we talk…?” Those were the three words to be feared. Sungmin had never dated anyone but he had seen enough movies, read enough books, and seen enough couples to know there was always something bad at the end of “Can we talk?”

Now the question was: What could Ryeowook tell him?

If anyone should have been making a confession, shouldn’t it have been Sungmin? After all, he was the one who had hooked up with Minho. Guilt had been festering in his chest all morning and now as he saw a nervous, stiff Ryeowook, he wondered what could be so bad?

For crying out loud, Sungmin’s throat was covered in so many bites the mere thought of going outside had scared him. So now, as he hid the hickeys behind a reasonably thick scarf, he couldn’t help but feel like a liar. Well, if Sungmin were to rationalize the situation he could say that he hadn’t lied to Ryeowook. Instead, he had withheld the truth – completely different from lying considering his lover had never directly _asked_ if he cheated.

“Sungmin?”

His head snapped up and he stared wide eyed at Ryeowook. They stood across from one another in a secluded part of the campus park. Buds formed on barren branches, signaling the beginning of spring, of something nostalgic yet new. Sungmin peered at the soon to blossom flowers from his peripheral vision, wondering momentarily what they would look like once the season reached its peak.

Ryeowook’s hand loosened around his lover’s but before they could break apart, Sungmin snatched his fingers, pulling them forward until their palms were pressed together, digits entwined. “You don’t want to do that,” Ryeowook flushed, deep sorrow dampening his normally sweet gaze.

“Why not?” Sungmin asked, pushing windblown tresses out of the other’s face, “I’m your boyfriend. Why can’t I hold your hand?” He leaned forward, tempted to further his point with a forceful kiss. That idea flew away when he saw tears spring up in Ryeowook’s eyes.

The latter shook his head, wiping at the mess of salty liquid. “N-No really Minnie!” he hiccupped, looking smaller than usual, “I…I wasn’t going to t-tell you because it didn’t mean anything…I promise it didn’t mean anything,” Ryeowook breathed unsteadily, heart racing painfully.

“What are you talking about?” Sungmin asked, having pulled the shaking figure into a tight embrace. He wanted to push Ryeowook away, away from his dirty body but he couldn’t help it. The way those tears kept falling…that red face…that honesty…it was all unbearably vulnerable and weak. How could Sungmin not try to comfort that? “It’s all okay Wookie,” he assured softly, gently stroking his Ryeowook’s backside, “you can tell me. I’m not going to be upset, okay?”

“But you will be!” he argued, voice muffled slightly in his lover’s jacket. “I…I k-kissed Kyuhyun…a lot yesterday,” Ryeowook confessed between sobs, all of the desperation and regret pouring out of him. “I just w-wanted to help him…I promise Sungmin! H-His…Z-Zhoumi…and showed up…costumes…!”

Sungmin slowly pushed Ryeowook back, staring at the large, pleading eyes. Jealousy and anger was pumping into his veins but all of it was pushed aside when Sungmin recalled how badly he had cheated. There was no way he could be mad at Ryeowook. See? He was right. Nothing could top what Sungmin did, not even something involving Cho Kyuhyun.

“I told you, Ryeowook,” Sungmin whispered, tilting his head down to kiss the trembling boy’s lips, “I’m not upset…okay?” He bit back all of the resentment and tugged Ryeowook into a deeper kiss, praying that somehow this would lessen the blow when he confessed what happened the night before.

When they broke apart, the tears had stopped and his face was red for an entirely different reason. “B-But…I…,” Ryeowook slumped, eyes twinkling sadly, “I…I knew how you felt about Kyuhyun and I still did it…I…”

“…it’s fine,” Sungmin mumbled, “I know you love me.” He nodded slowly, brushing the back of his hand across Ryeowook’s cheek. “And you did it because you care about that Hound…so…it’s alright. And you told me about it. That means it really didn’t mean anything, I hope.”

Ryeowook vigorously nodded, fingers curling around Sungmin’s sleeves. “I wanted you to know that it was just an act,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “it really didn’t mean anything, Minnie. I…I wanted to help him after he helped me so much.”

 _How could he have helped you?_ “I…I know.”

“Good, because I’m serious about you Sungmin,” Ryeowook stammered, leaning his forehead against the other boy’s chest, “I’ve never been so seriously…in love before.”

 _What about Kyuhyun? He’s your soulmate._ “Neither of us has done this before,” Sungmin assured quietly, “I’ve never loved someone like this…” _I’ve never loved someone to the point that I want them all to myself._

“I really wanted to be with you on Valentine’s Day. If we had been together then this wouldn’t have happened,” he sighed miserably.

 _Well it would’ve happened eventually right? You and Kyuhyun are roommates after all. At some point you probably would’ve found an excuse to kiss him or sleep with him. Hey, that’s what you did with your old roommate too, so why should I doubt it you wouldn’t do the same thing with Kyuhyun?_ “Yeah, I bet none of this would’ve happened,” Sungmin could hear the bitterness beginning to creep into his voice. There was no way to stop it though and apparently Ryeowook had taken notice as well.

His head rose from Sungmin’s chest, those already hurt eyes growing sadder. “…You’re not okay, are you Minnie?” Ryeowook spoke softly, as if afraid speaking loudly would scare off the other boy.

 _How do you expect me to be alright? You kissed Kyuhyun. You kissed the one person I loathe. You chose him over me. It took two years for me to even get you to look at me and it takes him one afternoon to get you to kiss him? Are you kidding me? After all that crap he put you through and you so willingly kiss him?_ “No, I am,” he answered too quickly.

Ryeowook sighed, sniffling and rubbing his face. “Sorry…I’m really sorry Sungmin,” he managed to say before backing up, “I get it though…I mean, we’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks and I already go and cheat?” He laughed humorlessly. “Just call me…or find me when you want to talk.”

“Where are you going?” Sungmin asked, voice cracking, arm reaching out to stop the other boy from leaving.

“I have an appointment with Dr. Choi,” Ryeowook mumbled, smiling as if he didn’t know what else to do with his face, “so yes, tell me when you want to talk.” He nodded once and then turned away, hurrying away.

 _“Can we talk?”_ Those were the three words to be feared. So why was Ryeowook practically asking for them? Sungmin leaned back on his heels, hands stuffed in pockets. _Am I that obvious? Do I really want to break up with him? Would letting him pursue an asshole like Kyuhyun be a good idea?_

Of course not!

 Sungmin would never break up with Ryeowook. He _couldn’t_ break with him. He didn’t _want_ to break with him, at least not really. Had they spent the past two years struggling to get where they were only to let it crumble after two weeks?

No. That was the answer.

_Screw you Kyuhyun. Ryeowook is mine._

 


	24. Chapter 24

“Everything looks normal,” Dr. Choi stated, smiling and allowing the stethoscope to fall around his neck. Ryeowook returned the expression, buttoning his open shirt. “Have you been taking better care of yourself? Your heart sounds much stronger than just last month,” the doctor inquired, scribbling down notes about his patient.

Ryeowook couldn’t argue there. One month ago, during February, many things had happened that spiked his blood pressure and messed up the steady rhythm of his heart. The whole Valentine’s thing was horrible and then the confession to Sungmin about all of it was equally terrible. Ryeowook had never planned to tell his lover about the things that happened on his “date” with Kyuhyun…but something just ate at him.

After reading his roommate’s reply the next morning, he couldn’t help but feel like something more had happened – something more than just acting. Someone like Sungmin didn’t deserve a cheating boyfriend, that’s why a part of Ryeowook had prayed he would break his heart. If that were the case, then maybe Sungmin would be able to find a loving person to spend his time with instead of Ryeowook.

Just what sort person was he? All throughout high school Sungmin had looked out for him, cared for him, done everything to protect their friendship – bond. And what did Ryeowook do within two weeks of being lovers? He _cheated._ He had the nerve to _glorify the act_ by saying it was all make-believe.

So after all of that, why was Sungmin still so persistent? Why did he want someone like Ryeowook – a low-life piece of…–?

“What are you doing?”

His eyes flitted up, surprise splashing across his face. “Kyuhyun…,” Ryeowook could hear the negativity in his tone but there was no way to suppress it. There was the one person who made his heart beat faster (in a good way), who made him want to be a bad person, who made him want to be a good person – who made him want to so much more than he already was, yet be everything that could destroy him. It was a confusing relationship, feelings.

Kyuhyun paused by the doorway for only a moment, scrutinizing the reluctance in his roommate’s words. After shaking off the initial reaction, he reached out, buttoning the last of Ryeowook’s shirt, and throwing the blazer over his shoulders. “Dongwoon is running all over the place looking for you. They’re already headed to the buses.”

“W-Why did you come get me?” he asked, slipping his arms into the jacket slowly.

“Who else would’ve?” Kyuhyun scoffed, brushing his hand over Ryeowook’s heart. “Is it normal, doctor?” he murmured, heavily masked worry etched in his eyes.

Dr. Choi looked up from his paperwork and smiled. “Yes, Kyuhyun. Everything is perfectly great. Oh, I completely forgot that today the StudGov is leaving for their overnight trip. Sorry for keeping you so long Ryeowook, you better get going.” He waved apologetically.

“Ah,” Ryeowook muttered, hurrying towards the door, tripping on the leg of a visitor chair. He stumbled forward, flopping down on the cot across from his own.

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, taking the smaller boy’s arm and dragging him up. “C’mon, you’re already late,” he sighed, “Aren’t you the president? What sort of example are you setting for the student body?”

“Oh be quiet,” Ryeowook lightly hit the teasing boy’s chest, glaring at him half heartedly, “I just wanted to be sure that I would be okay during this trip.”

“Why does it matter?” he raised an eyebrow, apparently confused by the urgency of the other person’s need to be in tip-top shape. He had heard about the location of the trip and there was really no reason to be worried about physique. StudGov was just going to a boarding house for the night in hopes of “bonding” or something.

Ryeowook blushed, a reaction that Kyuhyun did not miss. He stopped walking, pushing the slender boy aside, fingers curled around wrist. “Excuse me…?” the question was careful, cold.

“H-Huh?” Ryeowook blinked, feigning what innocence he could muster.

Kyuhyun took a step closer, suddenly feeling ten times broader and taller than the meek form before him. “Why are you blushing?” he demanded in a controlled voice.

“I-I’m not!” he argued, wriggling in the grip, eye darting to the exit. “They’re really going to leave me behind, Kyu! I need to go—”

“—they won’t leave without their president,” the taller boy cut in sharply, free hand coming up to tilt Ryeowook’s chin. “I knew the old Ryeowook. After a month and a half of living together I know the present Ryeowook, too. Don’t you dare lie to me,” he stated lowly, near black eyes boring into fearfully widened ones.

Now what was he supposed to do? Kyuhyun had him practically pinned _with_ an exit in sight. If Ryeowook only had a little more strength then he could make a dash for the door. He flexed his hand one more time but abruptly stopped after catching the annoyed glint in the other boy’s gaze. “It’s just…I…,” he fumbled over his words, trying to figure out an appropriate way to say it.

“Hmm?” Kyuhyun prompted softly, firmly.

How was Ryeowook going to say the next thing without pissing Kyuhyun off? There really was _no way_. It had to do with two of the things he was most strict about – Sungmin dubbed Stupid Bunny, and the forbidden three letter word.

After that morning where he suggested breaking up, Sungmin had come to find him and fiercely kissed him as if a whole other being had possessed that body and mind. There was something so cool and dark about Sungmin in that moment, completely different from the familiar, mild-mannered boy Ryeowook knew. Everything escalated from then on.

It didn’t feel like they were just best friends playing lovers anymore. When they were together, Ryeowook could truly say and believe Sungmin was his boyfriend. There was more touching, and kissing and hugging and blushing – all of which Ryeowook was perfectly fine with. He had fantasized about it before, but he never expected it to happen.

Sungmin being forceful was a stretch. Yet somehow, in the past month, he had proven himself capable of such a role.

Then again, it wasn’t particularly surprising when you thought about it. Ryeowook had heard about Sungmin’s fighting experience. The kid was a martial artist with plenty of physical ability.

The door creaked open.

“Speak of the Stupid Bunny,” Kyuhyun muttered, glowering at the dark haired beauty coming towards them, “and he’ll show up.”

Ryeowook took Kyuhyun’s surprise to his advantage and broke away. In a flurry of movement, he barreled into Sungmin’s familiar chest, hugging him tightly. “Sungmin I’m sorry I was at Dr. Choi’s office,” Ryeowook explained, slightly out of breath, “I wanted to make sure I was healthy…”

“It’s okay, Wookie,” Sungmin assured, large eyes twinkling cheerily, fingers brushing through his lover’s soft locks, “I would’ve waited for you.”

“I know,” Ryeowook grinned up, feeling Sungmin’s arm tighten around his waist, “I just didn’t want you to think I was playing around.”

Kyuhyun interrupted then, unwilling to hold his tongue any longer. “You sure have gotten clingier.”

“You have too,” Sungmin shot back without missing a beat. He smiled, eyes lowering back on Ryeowook. Sweetly, possessively, he pulled the slender boy into a kiss, lips tugging up and into a wicked grin. There was something oddly satisfying every time he proved their relationship to Kyuhyun, as if somehow Sungmin and Ryeowook were becoming more real.

“What…?” Ryeowook breathed once they broke apart, cheeks flushed, eyes warm.

“We should go,” Sungmin said, tugging on the other boy’s waist to lead him towards the door. “Bye Hound!” he called back.

Kyuhyun would never admit it, but in that instance, he was unable to think of even one retort.

 ***

Donghae was sitting in the middle of the dried up soccer field, his clothes and skin covered in grass and dirt. The normally cheery boy was sullenly staring up at the quickly graying sky. At least, that was how Kyuhyun found him.

“You wanna play?” he prompted, chucking the abandoned soccer ball at Donghae’s backside. The light haired boy rigidly fell forward, sad eyes turning to Kyuhyun.

“What’s up?” Donghae sighed, stretching his legs out before him.

Kyuhyun cocked an eyebrow. “I should be asking _you_ that. Why are you moping around in a field?” He sat down beside his friend, deciding that moping around wasn’t such a bad idea after all. What else would he do? Ryeowook had just made it clear that Sungmin came before Kyuhyun. Of course things like “bros before hoes” doesn’t exist – then again, were they even bros? What were they?

Whenever Ryeowook was around, he just wanted to tease and play with him. Even when they weren’t together, during the past two years, hadn’t Kyuhyun still wanted to do things like make fun of Ryeowook? It was habit.

He just couldn’t get enough of seeing the boy’s reactions. Was that so bad? “Hating” Ryeowook still couldn’t stop that addictive urge. Kyuhyun had admitted it to himself a month or so ago and would never think twice about the admittance. Truly, to hate Ryeowook was to hate himself. There was no way he ever felt something as strong as that towards his roommate, and oldest friend.

Frustration was a far better word to explain it.

Those years apart were good for them though. Kyuhyun had met and learned and loved. Ryeowook had learned what independence felt like. Perhaps that’s what people meant when they said “they were finding themselves”. It was a cliché statement but oh how true it rang.

“It’s Kibum…,” Donghae muttered, tearing some grass out of the ground, “…he wants to temporarily break up and I just don’t want that. I don’t want to lose him, Kyu.”

“Why does he want to break up?” he asked quickly, surprised by the sudden statement. Kyuhyun had been the one to orchestrate their relationship. What went wrong?

Donghae sighed miserably, flopping onto his backside with arms spread wide. “He got picked for that fine arts abroad program. He’ll be gone for a month in London, England studying at a theatre school.”

“If it’s only month why would you have to break up…?” Kyuhyun pulled his knees up, head turning to look at the heartbroken boy.

“He said he wouldn’t feel right doing kissing scenes and other intimate things when we’re still dating so he just…,” Donghae rolled onto his side, hand coming up to cover his face. “Kyu, I seriously don’t know what to do. I want him to go on the trip, I really do!” he explained sincerely, brow creasing tiredly. “I know it’s really special to be picked for something like this, especially with the backgrounds that all of us come from…but does that mean we have to break up? Even for a month?”

Kyuhyun rubbed his friend’s back gently. “Tell him that. He’ll understand if you’re really serious when you tell him.”

“What if he doesn’t understand though?” Donghae barked, back of his hand covering his eyes. “Not to mention I just can’t concentrate. You know a scout is coming to watch me play soccer in just three weeks. If I can’t pull it together I’m going to lose my chance at a scholarship.” Tears starting pricking the liquid orbs and Kyuhyun felt panic shoot through him.

“H-Hey, calm down,” he hugged Donghae, patting his back comfortingly, “you’re going to do amazing things, Donghae. Stop trying to handle everything all at once. You still have time and I’ll practice with you every day and we’ll figure out the Kibum thing too. I was there from the very beginning,” he chuckled a bit, “I won’t let you two fall apart.”

The boy was only sniffling now, having suppressed the tears as best he could. “…T-Thanks, Kyuhyun,” he managed shakily, “you’re too nice to me.”

“As if,” Kyuhyun snorted, unable to help the smile that touched his lips, “we’re bros. I’m not going to leave you behind,” _…not after all of the things you did to help me._

He continued comforting Donghae, not in the least interest in turning the attention back to himself. There was time to think about what the hell was going on between him and Ryeowook. There were only so many opportunities to help such a happy fellow like Donghae, though.

***

Mir sat on the dormitory steps, watching his friends prepare for their StudGov trip. There was so much hustle and bustle yet he couldn’t be a part of it – darn his lack of socializing. Luckily, they would all be back by tomorrow night so at least he wouldn’t be alone for a long time.

Oh, how could he forget about Taemin?

A smile curved his lips at the thought. They would be able to spend even more time together, right? It had been a month already since they started sending letters to one another and so far it was working rather well.

For instance, Mir never knew what Taemin ad Minho’s relationship was like until they started this hand written exchange. Apparently the pair had been from the same orphanage and treated like brothers. They were adopted multiple times but every time they ran away because the people were either unsatisfactory or just plain…plain. Mir found it rather interesting that the academy was their safe haven. It seemed like even the most careless students – Taemin and Minho – were deeply attached to the school. Even though they didn’t show it, truly, the academy meant a lot to them, huh?

Another thing, Taemin’s favorite drink was banana milk. Mir chuckled at the thought. All of the times he went to get Taemin a drink, it would be that one. It felt nice to be so emotionally attached. This was surely the first time Mir had ever revealed so much about himself – Taemin was probably in the same boat.

They were the same and with each step, they were coming to accept more and more about themselves. Although memories, painful and happy, rose in Mir’s mind, he didn’t mind. Taemin was with him now so everything would be fine.

If they fell, they would fall together. Neither of them would ever have to be alone again.

“Are you going to miss me?” Dongwoon asked, teasingly, his face appearing in Mir’s peripheral vision.

“I’m going to miss all of you,” he replied casually, still distracted by thoughts of Taemin.

Dongwoon recognized that look easily. It was the same look that plagued Mir’s features every time he was thinking about a certain pretty boy. No matter how much time passed though, he would never be able to feel indifferent towards that expression. Dongwoon knew too much about who it was directed towards – or rather, he knew far too well that it would never be directed towards himself.

“Stop spacing out already,” Dongwoon rolled his eyes, masking the discomfort well.

Abruptly, two arms caught him from behind, wrapping around Dongwoon’s neck. He lurched forward, spinning around in a tangle of limbs and laughter.

A cute faced boy appeared before him, legs coming up to straddle his hips. Kikwang grinned at his lover, kissing those lips. “Good! I thought you would already be gone before I woke up!” he cheered, body held up by Dongwoon’s arms.

“You’re crazy sometimes,” the latter sighed, amused as he supported the shorter boy’s weight. They spun in slow circles, trying to stay balanced. “You should wake up earlier. It’s bad to sleep late.”

Kikwang giggled and kissed him again, ignorant of all eyes on their intimate embrace…koala hug, thing. “So long as you’re involved, I’ll wake up whenever,” he murmured suggestively, blowing cool air across the taller boy’s ear.

Mir just looked away from the scene, pulling out his phone for something to do. There was a text message waiting for him and the moment his eyes rested on the name, his heart skipped a few beats.

**Taemin says: I just failed my English test >.< Can you help me study?? I have to retake it tomorrow afternoon : ( Please Mir? <3 **

**I say: I really like studying so of course I’ll help you! Do you want me to come over after your morning classes are done?**

**Taemin says: Just come tonight ; ) We’ll pull an all-nighter!**

Mir couldn’t argue with that. There was no way he wanted to sleep in a bedroom alone, especially in such a quiet place like the Honors Dorm. At least now he could stay up all night studying with his boyfriend.

On the flip side, Dongwoon had set Kikwang down and was boarding the bus. He only then remembered that Mir and he had been in the middle of bantering. When Dongwoon glanced back at the awkward boy though, he caught sight of a warm smile painted on his face. The phone in Mir’s hands was all the explanation he needed.

They were playing a cruel game and sometimes Dongwoon wished that he could just stop already. But then…you can’t, can you? There’s no way to rip your soul in half once it has been completed. That’s one of the few, horrible things about unloving soulmates.

Here they were, side by side and living together – yet they were still farther than opposite ends of the earth. When Dongwoon stared at Mir across that minimal distance, the bus and the dorm steps, he could feel the vast, invisible ocean separating them.

How long would it take to swim across it? Would he drown before he could make it?

Probably.


	25. Chapter 25

“Wow, this place is cool,” Ryeowook remarked, peering around the European-style boarding house. There was a dark wood grand staircase directly before them, stretching across the main room. Two doors flanked either side, leading to who-knew-where. A chandelier dangled overhead, filling the vacant building with eerie gold light.

A historically dressed woman led them up the stairs, her posture stiff and correct. Her graying hair was twisted into a bun, high lace collar dress swishing with each step. “This mansion was built in…” she began explaining, but Ryeowook had already stopped listening.

Sungmin was distracting him with little touches and whispers that sent his heart soaring. They fell a bit behind Dongwoon and the other board members, giggling to one another happily.

“We’re going to share a room, right Wookie?” Sungmin questioned softly, lips grazing Ryeowook cheek.

“Ah...,” he whispered back, blushing.

The black haired boy grinned, tugging his lover out of line and pushing him against a dark wall. Their mouths molded in a momentary kiss. “I’m so happy that we’re finally able to get away like this,” Sungmin sighed, arms wrapping around Ryeowook’s waist, “there are a lot of things we can’t do at the academy…”

“W-What do you mean?” he asked, hands pressing against Sungmin’s chest.

“We can talk later,” the latter mumbled grudgingly, stepping away from Ryeowook and leading him after the group.

They appeared just in time to receive one of their bedrooms. The tour guide raised a suspicious eyebrow but said nothing as she pushed the door open for them. “Which of you would like to take this room?”

“We were just going to—”

“—I’ll take it,” Sungmin interrupted, not wanting to make any conflict with the woman. She would probably be watching them closely so the last thing he wanted was to make her more wary.

Ryeowook took the room next to his, dropping off an overnight bag inside before coming back out and knocking on Sungmin’s door. He peered around the dark, narrow hall, feeling oddly cold. The place was really old it seemed…

“It’s haunted, you know.”

The boy practically jumped out of his skin, spinning around to see Dongwoon leaning against a wall snickering at him. Ryeowook clicked his tongue, glaring in frustration. If it were possible, he would’ve yelled at the vice president but he was too scared to say a word.

“Really, it is,” Dongwoon insisted, grinning, “this place is famous for it. The tour guide told us all about it while you and Sungmin were messing around.” His eyes trailed to the banister and he caught Ryeowook following his gaze, “She told us that the mansion’s original owner was a promiscuous little bastard. He never lied to his kind wife though, so he told her every time he went out to see a lover or prostitute.”

“She was really okay that with that?” Ryeowook squeaked, suddenly feeling small and vulnerable in the haunted house.  

“But then…,” Dongwoon’s shot Ryeowook a look, watching with mild amusement as the small boy jolted, “one night, the man awoke tied to this railing.” He glided his hand over the thick wooden banister, “His wife stood over him, her long hair a twisted mess and her eyes large and hollow. She told him he lied to her. Apparently he wanted to spare her feelings once and he said he was going to a gentlemen’s club when really he was going to see a lover. This emotional betrayal hurt her so much she just… _snapped_.” He slammed his hand down on the railing and almost simultaneously, Ryeowook screamed covering his face and falling to the floor.

Sungmin’s door burst open and he rushed out into the hallway, looking around wildly. “W-Wookie? Ryeowookie?” he shook his scared, teary-eyed lover, pulling him into a tight hug. “What happened?”

Dongwoon couldn’t help but laugh, collapsing against the “cursed” railing. “Oh my…are you okay, Ryeowook?” he gasped, trying to calm the tremors of glee, “I didn’t think you would get that scared!”

“I j-just don’t like horror…,” he mumbled helplessly, wide eyes red and half buried in Sungmin’s chest.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Dongwoon said, sighing a bit, “there’s nothing wrong with this place.” But then there was no warning. The normal groaning and moaning and creaking of wood didn’t alert them. Instead, it simply gave way and suddenly Dongwoon had nothing supporting his weight.

He felt wind rushing around him and swung violently to the side, scrambling for the broken edge of the handrail. Horrible splintering of wood on wood broke the silence below them. Dongwoon was still trying to catch his breath, wide eyes turning to Sungmin and Ryeowook who were equally confused and frozen. No words fell from their lips, all of them still trying to still the racings of their hearts.

A chilly, ancient voice floated towards them and they unwillingly craned their necks to the somber woman with her tight graying bun. “No matter how many times it’s repaired, that rail always breaks. You don’t suppose why that’s the case?”

And then Ryeowook screamed…fainted…and was hauled away.

***

Night fell soon, dying the already creepy as hell place in deeper shadows and blue rays. Dead trees tapped the glass windows, scratching the old surfaces with nail precision. The other board members were still dining and having a ball in the haunted mansion. Sungmin however was doing no such thing. Every little image was setting him off.

Whenever he turned a corner, it felt like there was something following him, making him crazy. The worst part was, it felt familiar. Whatever the hell was “haunting” him had taken the shape of someone, or something, he knew. Just…what was it?

“Thank you for the meal,” he muttered half heartedly, getting up from the dining table and grabbing the untouched plate of food beside him. A silver cover had been placed over it to keep the heat but all Sungmin could see was a rather old-fashioned, creepy looking food order. He kept imagining a decapitated head beneath it even though he knew there was nothing but delicious, rich French food waiting under the cover.

Sungmin circled around to the main room, ascending the steps. He was bringing dinner up to the still unconscious Ryeowook, all the while not daring to touch the railing. The plate of food rested securely in both hands as his eyes darted back and forth in the weakly lighted mansion. He felt chills crawling up his skin, through his thin sweater and eventually…somewhere in his blood.

Voices filled the air behind him and he glanced backwards, seeing Dongwoon pacing back and forth at the foot of the stairs, phone in hand. He appeared to be completely ever the incident from earlier.

Hurrying the rest of the way up, he shuffled down the hall towards Ryeowook’s room.

“Hey, Ryeowook,” Sungmin murmured, closing the door behind him with a click. The rooms were lit with electrically chandeliers, leaving – unfortunate – scary shadows all over the place. “I have food, are you hungry?” He brushed the back of his hand across the sleeping boy’s sweaty forehead. Did Ryeowook have a cold? No he shouldn’t have gotten one. The blankets were thick and warm— Sungmin tore the blankets back, trying to cool the overheated boy down.

A content sigh slipped past Ryeowook’s lips and he turned onto his side, curling into a ball. His dark bangs fell over eyes, caressing his pale and flushed skin.

_“Aren’t you going to tell him the truth?”_

Sungmin whirled around, glaring into the heavy shadows of his lover’s room. “Who said that?” he hissed, not seeing anyone else inside.

There was no reply.

The naked branches outside scratched the glass window, as wind pushed by with thunderous force. Sungmin watched it for a while, trying to clear his mind of fear. Maybe a shower would help?

“I’ll be right back, Wookie,” he assured, kissing Ryeowook’s lips softly.

Sungmin left the room, walking into his own chilly chambers to take a quick shower. Before entering the bath he had switched on all the lights possible, hoping to comfort himself by the light.

The bathroom itself was gorgeous and antique, clean and white. There were ornate decorations mixing with modern facilities – much to Sungmin’s pleasure. He stripped, tossing the clothes onto the floor before turning on the water and then the shower head.

Warm sprays rushed down, splattering a tiled tub. Sungmin stepped under the heat but no less than a second after entering and pulling the curtain shut did he feel chills crawling up his spine. Without further ado, he turned the heat all the way up, trying to sear his own skin to make the coldness go away and yes, it _did_ go away.

But it didn’t last long. The curtains rustled and then there was the feeling of a second body. Sungmin tried to turn around, heart rattling his chest cavity. Strong hands caught his wrist, shoving him forward.

A muscular torso pressed against his backside as hot lips sucked a spot on his neck. “Sungminnie, do you still remember that night?”

“M…Minho?” he whispered, wincing when teeth grazed his heated throat. The water was becoming unbearably warm. “W-What the hell are you doing here? Why are you in my shower?” Sungmin wanted to shout and kick but he felt frozen.

A low, luscious chuckle rumbled his reddened skin. “You were a mess on that bed…I just wanted to…,” Minho reached down, inner forearm rubbing against Sungmin’s side, “ _do things_ to you. I bet it would’ve been fun.” He lowered the water temperature, shifting his hands back up to hold the smaller boy’s wrist again.

“Answer me!” Sungmin panted, head spinning from the steam and scent of roses. _Roses?_ There weren’t any roses, right?

“Don’t think so much,” the taller boy scolded casually, letting his tongue trace the curvy line of the slender one’s shoulder, “just let me take you for _real_. I can’t believe I—” he seemed to cut himself off, tilting his head to the other side of Sungmin’s neck and sucking a hickey there too.

The latter pressed his lips together, fighting back a moan of pleasure. Why didn’t this feel familiar though? Shouldn’t it have jogged his memory of that night?

After all, Minho was doing the exact same thing…so why couldn’t Sungmin recognize the feeling? Actually, he had no idea what he was feeling in that moment. The heat must have numbed his skin to such an extent.

And why did he keep saying things like that? Why was Minho making it sound like he didn’t touch Sungmin that night? He must have! He confessed to it! “I…I don’t understand, Minho,” he blurted and abruptly the nibbling stopped.

“What don’t you understand, Sungminnie?” he muttered huskily, fingers sliding up the boy’s arms until his palms rested on shoulders. There was a pause before Minho moved down to caress Sungmin’s chest, fondling this and that idly. “ _I wanna_ _fuck you_.”

A shaky breath and the black haired beauty closed his eyes, not sure why he couldn’t fight against the ministrations. What was Minho talking about though? Sungmin felt his legs being parted, water running down his inner thighs as a slick, strong leg slid between his own.

“C’mon, I was so well-behaved that night. Give me something,” Minho urged, slowly grinding his hips against the other boy, “give me what I want; give _yourself_ what you want.”

“I only want Ryeowook,” Sungmin breathed, head jerking back at the contact, lips parting with a groan.

“If that’s true, why wouldn’t you tell him?” he hissed, tilting Sungmin’s face to capture his mouth in a sloppy kiss. “If he’s the only one you want then why are you keeping _us_ a secret?” He bit the boy’s lower lip, smirking coolly.

“T-There is _no us_.”

Suddenly, Minho broke into a grin and nodded slowly. “That’s right, there is no us.” He backed away, head lowering for a long moment. “There never was.” Then his head lifted again and a sharp featured young man, only vaguely familiar, had replaced Minho in the shower.

***

Sungmin shrieked, eyes bursting open. The hard, cold floor smacked his cheek and he struggled back into a standing position. A bright, blurry moon hovered just beyond the glass window pane. He looked around the room, estranged.

What the hell just happened? What the hell just happened? What the _hell just happened?_

“M-Minnie? Minnie, what’s wrong?” Ryeowook’s voice drifted over to Sungmin. The latter spun around, seeing his boyfriend coming out of the bathroom with just a towel around his slim hips. His pajamas were slung over one arm, a look of hurry and panic written on his face.

Sungmin crawled over to him, kneeling and taking Ryeowook’s free hand. Tears were pouring down his face and he felt his body shaking but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t just pretend it didn’t exist anymore. How could he keep calling Ryeowook _his_ when he was scared to tell him something that was _unimportant_?

It wasn’t Minho. It was never Minho.

Jonghyun really meant nothing to Sungmin. It was just a mistake.

“I’m so sorry, Ryeowook,” he stated desperately, shaking his lowered head, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I was so scared to tell you. I,” Sungmin swallowed hard, trying to speak through his sobs, “…my drink was spiked at that party I went to. I didn’t know what I was doing…I didn’t mean to cheat! I promise you’re the only person I care about. Please believe me Ryeowook.”

Sungmin gazed up at him then, lips trembling, “Please don’t break up with me…I _can’t_ let that happen. I’ve wanted you for _two years_ and I can’t let you go…not now,” Sungmin knew he was shamelessly begging but it didn’t matter. All he wanted was Ryeowook’s forgiveness and just maybe his love too.

There was a long, heart wrenching pause. Blankness shadowed Ryeowook’s face, his wet hair dripping faux tear drops. Carefully, Ryeowook squeezed Sungmin’s hand, speaking in a low voice, “What did you do…?”

“I…I don’t really remember,” he confessed, “but the next morning I know—I know that I had marks on my neck.”

Ryeowook kneeled down then, and pressed his warm lips to the side of Sungmin’s throat. The movement was so shocking he tripped back, tailbone grinding into the floor. He winced, hands coming up to hold Ryeowook’s damp waist.

All throughout though, those lips stayed connected to Sungmin’s neck, gently sucking and nibbling. A sweet, quiet moan came from the attacked boy and his breaths came out shorter, shallower. “R-Ryeowook…what are you doing?”

The slurping continued until finally, the very tip of a hot tongue slid across the fresh bruise. “I’m jealous Minnie,” he mumbled, “because that’s all I can be. We both cheated that day. It doesn’t matter when you told me because you ended up telling me.” Ryeowook backed up enough to smile at Sungmin, “We need to stop running away from this.”

“You mean…,” his eyes widened.

“Unless you don’t want this,” Ryeowook said, “I…just want us to claim each other. I’m tired of us being lovers that only do stuff with other people.” He laughed a little, “Did you notice that?”

Now that Sungmin thought about it, he wanted to slap himself. “Yeah, I get it,” he croaked, clearing his throat before butterfly kissing down Ryeowook’s cheek, jaw and then the sloping lines of his body. “No more interference,” Sungmin loosened the towel around his lover’s hips, “it’s just us from now on, okay?”

Ryeowook’s breath hitched and he tentatively slid forward, legs coming around the other one’s clothed waist. His arms enveloped Sungmin’s neck. “I love just you,” he mouthed, leaning forward to press their lips together.

“I love only you too,” Sungmin answered almost inaudibly, hands gripping the underside of Ryeowook’s legs, carrying him to the bed.

_It’s not real. It won’t be real so long as you tell the truth. Or…well, if you don’t, supposedly the wife will come to noose your lovely neck._

The trees outside quieted, the wind became a hum, and the night purified with the meeting of lovers…

 


	26. Chapter 26

Mir was sitting on the steps of the dorm building, watching the sun set. Although he was tired, he really wanted to be the first one to welcome his friends back. It was sort of silly but he wanted to do something for them.

No, it wasn’t because of Taemin. Oddly enough, it was Dongwoon. They were roommates – and they certainly talked a great deal.

When Mir was with Taemin, they talked out their problems and their pasts, their likes and dislikes. When he was with Dongwoon, they talked about…everything. There were things Mir had never thought about that Dongwoon thought about all the time. Sometimes, he wanted to stay up all night talking to the other boy, but he knew it wasn’t possible.

They had school the next day, you know.

More importantly, he was the one who made Mir consider the value of relationships. Friends were friends for the sake of being friends, but that came with the responsibility of showing you care. It doesn’t have to be daily, or even weekly. What’s important is doing little affectionate acts, for instance, welcoming them home from a trip.

“Are they here yet?” Kikwang sat down beside Mir.

The latter swallowed an unpleasant grimace and shook his head no. “I don’t see them.”

“Oh…,” he sounded sad but Mir wasn’t looking at him, at least, not really, “well that’s okay. I actually wanted to talk to you.”

Mir turned to fully look at Kikwang. “What?”

“Well I wanted to thank you,” he admitted, flushing a bit, “for getting Dongwoon and I together. He’s the first person I’ve ever clicked so much with. We have so much in common and I just can’t think of a person better than him.” Kikwang smiled sincerely, putting an arm around Mir’s shoulders. “You’re really the best for setting us up. I can’t thank you enough for it.”

All the while, he only wanted Kikwang’s arm off of him. Not only that though, he wanted the boy _away_ from him. “Ah…”

“No really, Mir!” he pressed on, rubbing the boy’s shoulder affectionately. “I’m really serious about him so don’t worry. Actually, I’m thinking about joining Tech Crew. What do you think?” Kikwang was grinning widely, hopefully. “Dongwoon was telling me about what you guys do there and it just sounds so cool.”

  _No, no, no._ “If you want I guess,” Mir mumbled, getting to his feet and shaking his shoulders as casually as he could, “I have to go study.”

Kikwang’s face fell and he stood up as well, touching the other boy’s arm. “Wait, don’t you want to wait for them? I’m sure they’re almost here.”

“No it’s okay,” he replied a tad too sharply, “you can wait for them.” Mir didn’t care in that moment. He just needed to get away from the whole situation. The feelings coursing through his blood were annoying and frustrating. There would be other chances to welcome Ryeowook and Sungmin home. It wouldn’t matter, not this time.

Mir set off before Kikwang could stop him.

 

Soon after, the bus pulled in and Dongwoon descended the steps, expecting to see Mir waiting for them in front of the dormitory. What else would the kid do during that hour of the day? He ate at the beginning of Dinner Time so obviously he should’ve been free already.

“Woonie!” Kikwang exclaimed, running up to hug and kiss his boyfriend.

Dongwoon returned the touch sweetly, still distracted by the missing Mir. “Hey…I’m back,” he greeted, looking around the empty space.

There were words being spoken to him but all of it sounded like background noise. Where was Mir? He had so much to tell him about the trip! “Kikwang,” Dongwoon interrupted the other boy’s ramblings, “do you know where Mir is?”

A sad little shrug and he replied, “Mir was here just a few minutes ago but he left for some reason. Oh, but on the bright side, he thinks it would be good for me to join Tech Crew! Isn’t that great? Then the two of us can spend time together,” Kikwang grinned, sliding his arms around Dongwoon’s neck, “I really miss you when you’re at club practice so I guess this solves our problems.”

“That’s good,” he mumbled, idly returning the kiss to his lips.

Sungmin and Ryeowook stumbled out of the bus a few moments later, the latter’s legs tangled around Sungmin’s lean hips. They were drunkenly bumbling towards the dorm room, limbs and mouth messily mashed and twisted.

“What happened…?” Kikwang pointed eyes large and confused.

Dongwoon shook his head, “They’ve been like that all day. We had to pry them apart a few times on the bus because the kissing noises were getting unbearable.” He shuddered at the memory and moved away from his boyfriend. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

The boy shook his head, taking Dongwoon’s hand and pulling him towards the Honors Dorm, “I wanna go do what your friends are advocating,” he chuckled, winking.

Sighing, Dongwoon smiled and allowed his body to be dragged.

***

Mir arrived back at the dorm late that night, thoroughly exhausted. There was definitely no way he would stay up with Dongwoon now – nor would he _want_ to stay up any later. After a quick shower he would hurry to bed and once his head hit that pillow, sleep would come right away.

The plan was going well up until it was time to head back to the dorm room to get clothes on. Mir unlocked the door, internally sighing with relief at the sight of an empty room. Once the door slammed shut though, he caught sight of Dongwoon kneeling by his open closet, digging through stuff.

“Crap...,” Mir muttered under his breath.

“You’re _finally_ home,” Dongwoon stated, rolling his eyes in exasperation. “I’ve been waiting forever to tell you about the trip!” He shut the closet, smiling at Mir. “You can get some clothes on first I guess.”

Mir flushed, hurrying over to the closet and grabbing some pajamas. It took roughly thirty seconds to get changed and once he did, Dongwoon turned back around and flopped down on his bed. The other bed was quickly taken by Mir who stayed sitting up so they could face one another. “What is it?” he asked.

“Okay,” and then Dongwoon went off on a tangent about the haunted house and broken railing, and then the weirdest part of his night – the freaky scent. “I was just getting out of the shower and I suddenly smelled really strong roses. But, I had no idea where they were from because everything around the mansion was dead. Do you have any idea?”

Horror stories just didn’t scare Mir. That was the bottom line.

That was why he easily said, “Maybe the wife’s restless spirit wakes up around the witching hour. Roses usually follow around ghosts who weren’t properly buried.”

Dongwoon covered his face, suddenly slumping forward. “Holy shit, that’s so scary,” he guffawed, shuddering and standing up. “Why would you say that man?” he laughed, tackling Mir to the bed tiredly. A long sigh fell from Dongwoon’s lips, “Okay, I think I’m done thinking about that scary ass mansion. We’re never going there for another bonding trip.”

“You guys didn’t bond?” Mir asked, chuckling a little at the weight of his friend’s arm across his chest. The limb was floppy like a fish and when Mir moved, it rose and fell.

“Oh, that’s what I forgot to say,” Dongwoon muttered, “I’m pretty sure Ryeowook and Sungmin _bonded_ just without the rest of us…if you know what I mean.”

Mir blushed and wriggled around on the bed. It was strange to think about the two of them doing anything. “That’s…at least they’re happy,” he attempted, unsure what else he could say about the topic.

“I had a dream while I was staying there,” Dongwoon grunted, eyes quietly gazing sideways at Mir. “We were being honest with each other. I sort of liked it.”

“We’re not…usually honest?” He wasn’t sure why he did it, but then it was happening before he really _knew_ what was happening. Mir touched the other boy’s hair softly, fingertips running through the chestnut tresses hesitantly.

Dongwoon smiled despairingly, mimicking the touch by running his own hand through Mir’s dark hair. “Not nearly enough these days,” he responded, “it’s sad, huh?”

“Why can’t we tell the truth then?” Sleep was slowly slurring his words, eyes fluttering closed every few seconds.

“Because,” Dongwoon scooted closer, pushing Mir’s limp hand down, “the truth is painful.” He watched the boy’s breaths become even and then repositioned him underneath the blankets. “And…,” tenderly, he kissed the slumbering boy’s lips, “we’re not as strong or as crazy as the Wife.”

_So let’s keep stealing these quiet moments and silent touches until someday, we’re not scared of pain anymore._

 


	27. Chapter 27

_Dear Taemin,_

_In just a week and a half we can celebrate our 8 month anniversary. Can you believe we’ve been together for almost an entire year? I can’t wait to be honest. I’ve been planning something and I really hope you like it._

_Anyway, I’ve been meaning to tell you that ever since we started writing these letters, more and more memories are coming back to me. I think it’s really cool. The doctors and police officers used to tell me – push me, to remember things but I just couldn’t._

_I think talking to you has made me less afraid to unleash these thoughts._

_Love,_

_Mir_

_Dear Mir,_

_It’s the same with me._

_The more I write to you, the more I feel comfortable with myself. Sometimes I would stay up late because I still remembered the past but now I know that you’ll be with me, even if the past dares to swallow me._

_I feel safe knowing that fact. You’re going to watch out for me!_

_Nightmares are the worst, you’re right. They sometimes feel like they’ll never stop and it’s worse because you’re always alone in them. Recently though, when I dream of the past, I see you next to me. You’re holding my hand and telling me that I’m not alone._

_Yours Forever, Taemin_

_Dear Taemin,_

_You’re lucky…_

_When I’m dreaming, I’m still by myself. I usually drag myself out of the nightmare when I think of you all alone so I guess that’s still good, right?_

_Ah…I woke up in a sweat last night. I didn’t want to wake you up so I just took a walk outside. There was silence everywhere and usually I would’ve felt unnerved but for some reason it felt nice that night. No one was around to make my heart or head hurt – a great relief._

_The dream was of something I was doing to myself. I can’t really recall it perfectly but I think…well, I think I was trying to do something to myself. There were a lot of lights below me and the dark sky was really close. In the dream, I felt so close to freedom._

_But why freedom?_

_Why wasn’t I scared? I wish I knew…really, I do._

_Love,_

_Mir_

_Dear Mir,_

_That’s strange. Do you know what those lights were?_

_Why were you there in the first place? I wonder if your parents put you there…if they did, then I wish we could go back in time and punch them. It’s not fair that you had to suffer with your real parents. They’re supposed to be the only ones you trust with your whole heart and body._

_I guess I’m a little happy that I never had to feel that betrayal._

_Lots of people look down on us reform kids but really, we may have never felt a parent’s love but we’ve also never had to fear the hate of a parent. Do you think that’s a fair trade?_

_Maybe you wouldn’t know actually…sorry._

_Yours Forever, Taemin_

_Dear Taemin,_

_I don’t know anything but I keep dreaming about it. Every time the lights get farther and farther away. The sky starts to disappear behind this black drape thing._

_I want to stop thinking about it but I can’t. The images keep replaying in my mind like something is missing. Every day the memories grow more vivid and I can’t stop then, Taemin. Is there anything you can do?_

_I don’t want to feel this anymore. The resurfacing memories were nice in the beginning but they’re becoming too painful to handle. If I don’t get a good night’s sleep soon I think I’m going to seriously snap._

_Love,_

_Mir_

_Dear Mir,_

_What do you mean? You have to keep remembering so we can face it together…or run away together. The longer you suppress them, the harder it’ll be when it’s finally time to let it all run wild._

_I don’t want to be alone Mir. So please don’t stop trying okay? I need you to keep remembering so I’m not the only one in the dark anymore. When I know that you’re here with me I can smile with my whole heart. That’s never happened before so please don’t abandon me._

_I love you and I know you love me too so we have to be there together. No matter where it is, we have to be together._

_Yours Forever, Taemin_

_Dear Taemin,_

_I’m sorry…_

_I’m really sorry. I’ll keep trying so don’t be sad._

_Tonight I could see it. They were the tops of buildings – the lights I mean. I was looking down at them._

_Love,_

_Mir_

_Dear Mir,_

_You were standing at the top of a building? Why were you there?_

_Yours Forever, Taemin_

_Dear Mir,_

_Where are you? If you’ve received this that must mean you’re still on campus. Why didn’t you respond to my last note? I know it was short but I just really wanted to know what was going on with you._

_Please answer me quickly. I don’t know where you are. You left me alone this morning without any explanation. Were you with Dongwoon?_

_Taemin_

_I tried texting you and calling you and everything! Why can’t I find you?? Where did you go?_

_I’m getting really scared Mir. It’s been two days. I’ve been looking everywhere. Are you still getting my letters?_

_Taemin_

_I just checked back and you haven’t picked up my past note._


	28. Chapter 28

Sungmin’s warm body kept Ryeowook close, arms around his waist. Morning light spilled through the window, shining down on both of their drowsy faces. The darker haired boy frowned, snuggling closer to Ryeowook and repositioning his arms.

“Minnie~ I’m too tired,” the smaller one mumbled, cheeks swollen from the stale air. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, yawning and wriggling in his lover’s arms. “How do you sleep without even boxers?” Ryeowook giggled, stretching his neck up in hopes that Sungmin would kiss him.

The boy did, gladly. “I forgot again,” he sighed, “I never knew staying up all night would make you fall asleep so fast…”

“I can be the…,” he paused, trying to find the right word, “…’man’ tonight if you want. Then you can relax, right?” Ryeowook looked hopeful, maybe even excited.

Sungmin grinned, rolling on top of the other boy, “You wanna be dominant?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow skeptically, “Don’t you like me doing it?”

“I just meant that you’re always tired after,” Ryeowook defended, biting back a moan as Sungmin dropped his weight so their lower bodies were touching. “N-Not right now…we have a board meeting—mmph—!”

Their tongues moved slowly, exploring each part thoroughly and efficiently. Ryeowook attempted to swallow but only succeeded in gagging. They fell into a rhythm after that, one taking control and then allowing the other to take over – alternating every minute or so.

“Minnie,” Ryeowook panted once they drifted apart, “can we…?”

Sungmin nodded but then shifted down underneath the covers. There was no chance for Ryeowook to wonder what was going on because his answer came far faster than expected. He elicited a cry that swept the still room, fingers curling into the pillows surrounding him.

The pleasurable rush of adrenaline didn’t last long, mainly because of a mood-crushing ringtone cutting through the lustful air.

 _Doe, a deer, a female deer_  
Ray, a drop of golden sun  
Me, a name I call myself~

Sungmin appeared from beneath the blanket, licking his lips in annoyance. “Who’s calling?” There was no way he could keep doing what he wanted for two reasons – one, because really, who could do anything after hearing that particular ringtone? Secondly, well, did he have to say it outright?

“It’s Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook replied quietly.

Now the mood was seriously crushed. Sungmin flopped down beside his boyfriend, pouting and stuffing his fists into a pillow. “Answer it before the Hound comes barging over here.”

Ryeowook nodded, shooting the other boy an apologetic look. “Hi, Kyu, what is it?”

“Can you come and unlock the sports equipment shed?” he asked, “I know it’s early but I really need to get in.”

“Oh, of course,” Ryeowook blinked a few times, surprised by the urgency and nature of the request. Since when did Kyuhyun play sports? “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“Thanks,” he replied, hanging up the next second.

The blankets were thrown back to allow Ryeowook to leave. He struggled with a pair of pants but once he got it…well, he got it. The next step was getting away from Sungmin. There was no good excuse except – wait; there was only an excuse, not a good one.

Ryeowook sighed, bending over to peer at his lover’s pouty face. “We’ve spent all Spring Break together, Minnie,” he cooed, “don’t be sad!”

“How can I not be sad?” he grumbled. “I like spending all day with you~! I don’t want you to go hang out with Kyuhyun. You haven’t seen him _this_ long so why do you have to go all of a sudden?”

It was very true. Since they got back from their StudGov bonding trip, Ryeowook had been sleeping over at Sungmin’s. Thankfully, his roommate was overseas doing an abroad program, which meant the space would be unoccupied until the end of April. Ryeowook could continue living with Sungmin for another month or so, wasn’t that wonderful?

The best part – for Sungmin – was that Kyuhyun had no way to interfere with their relationship. Oddly enough, he hadn’t even made an attempt to barge in and take Ryeowook away. It was rather confusing.

“I’m sorry…but he sounded different,” Ryeowook explained, “I don’t know why but I think he’s really serious.”

Sungmin took a deep breath, deciding it was ridiculous to argue anymore. The longer he stalled Ryeowook, the longer it would take for him to get back. “Then I’ll go get breakfast. Meet me in the Dining Hall?” He sat and leaned up to kiss his boyfriend.

“Mm…sure,” he replied, happy that Sungmin was giving up the fight. They touched and kissed a few more times, the dark haired one’s hands trailing down the expanse of Ryeowook’s chest. “Sungmin,” he scolded weakly, gasping sharply.

“You’re the one who let me kiss you,” he muttered, laughing and tugging the standing boy closer, “you should’ve known I wouldn’t want to let go.”

“C’mon, I have to go,” Ryeowook insisted, eyes closing briefly as he tried to gather enough energy to break away from Sungmin, “we don’t have time for this—!” He whimpered at his lover’s fingers, quickly losing his resolve to leave.

Sungmin made an annoyed sound, biting and licking a spot on the meek one’s chest. “We have plenty of time,” he huffed, knowing that was a bold faced lie.

The phone rang again.

“Dammit,” Sungmin growled, falling back against the sheets dramatically.

Ryeowook laughed, picking up the phone and walking towards the door, grabbing a shirt along the way. “Hello?”

“Hey, do you know where Mir is?” Dongwoon asked, sounding a tad out of breath.

“Huh? No I haven’t seen him this week,” he replied slowly, stopping by the doorway, “Did something happen?”

“I thought he was around campus but he wasn’t at Taemin’s place either.”

“What’s up?” Sungmin whispered, noting the change in atmosphere. He fixed shorts on, coming up behind Ryeowook worriedly.

“Dongwoon says he doesn’t know where Mir is,” Ryeowook replied, covering the receiver with his hand. “Have you seen him?”

Sungmin shook his head, “Isn’t he sleeping over at Taemin’s place?”

“No…,” he said, raising the phone back up to say, “are you _sure_ he’s not at Taemin’s?”

“Well I don’t know,” Dongwoon snapped, “it’s not like Mir to just disappear like that! He would’ve told me…he would’ve definitely told me,” he muttered.

Ryeowook nodded slightly, pulling slippers on and hurrying out of the room, “Okay, we’ll help look for him. We’ll call you if there’s anything.”

They set off, Sungmin heading towards Taemin’s place to double check. Ryeowook grabbed the sports equipment shed key on the way out, deciding to quickly stop by the soccer fields to drop it off for Kyuhyun.

Two minutes later, Ryeowook was jogging up to two boys waiting outside of the shed. “Sorry it took so long,” he apologized, tossing the key to Donghae before turning around to check the campus for Mir.

“Ah, wait! Why are you in such a rush?” Donghae called. He glanced uneasily at Kyuhyun, unsure if something had happened between them again. There was equal confusion on his friend’s face though. Donghae frowned. “Is there something going on?” he prompted.

Ryeowook glanced back hesitantly, “Uh…sort of. We’re not sure. Don’t worry about it,” he assured, smiling, “You’re on the soccer team right?” Donghae nodded and Ryeowook flashed him a more sincere grin, “Good luck with your practice! I know the scouts are coming so take care of your body!”

A blush raced across the athlete’s face. “Oh…thank you,” he replied, suddenly feeling shy. What could he say? He had a soft spot for cute boys – like Kibum and Ryeowook.

Kyuhyun elbowed his friend harshly, shooting him an irritated glare.

“Sorry,” he muttered, sounding nowhere near apologetic as he rubbed his side.

“What are you looking for?” Kyuhyun asked, gazing directly at his long since missing roommate.

“It’s…,” he shuffled back over to him, taking Kyuhyun’s hand carelessly, “uhm, you know Mir right?”

“Yeah, what about him?” he raised an eyebrow, also barely noting their naturally held hands.

Ryeowook pulled Kyuhyun slightly away from Donghae, whispering, “We don’t know where he went. He’s not on campus as far as his roommate and boyfriend knows…we’re getting really worried. Have you seen him?”

“No,” Kyuhyun shook his head, silently adding that he hadn’t seen much more than Donghae’s sweaty, dirty face and a soccer ball and field to match, “is it that urgent? He’s a third year, not a little kid. He can take care of himself, right?”

“Dongwoon is really freaking out and he knows Mir better than any of us,” Ryeowook shrugged, “There must be something weird about him missing.”

The taller boy sighed, “Let’s go to the bell tower. That’s the farthest place our campus extends to.” He looked back at Donghae, adding, “Start practicing with the others. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Ah, sure,” Donghae nodded. He watched the two boys start off, still hand in hand. For a moment he wondered if they realized how close they looked. There was something different when they were together, as if the world was shining around just them.

Donghae smiled. Was that how he and Kibum looked? He hoped so.

“Is the shed open?” one of his teammates asked, waving at him from the edge of the field.

“Yeah!” Donghae shouted back, “I’ll be there in a second!”

 

* * *

_“I want someone near Mir who knows about all of this. More importantly, at least someone aside from me can see why Taemin and Mir just don’t work. Do you see it?” “...they’re too similar. I’m guessing Mir sees himself in Taemin’s lonely, guarded personality. Mir will always be there to comfort him but that’s not what either of them needs.”_

Joon’s words were always pounding in Dongwoon’s mind. They were the only things keeping him hopeful. So long as even _one_ other person thought he was meant for Mir, then there would always be a chance that it was true.

Somewhere out there, they were supposed to be together. Even if they couldn’t be together in that moment, maybe in a few years, maybe in another country, they would fall so deeply in love neither of them would be able to find the exit anymore.

The campus was barren, most of the students away on the annual Spring Break beach trip. It just made looking for Mir easier though. Dongwoon turned a corner, slowing down when he caught sight of a taxi and a certain pretty boy.

“Taemin!” he shouted, snatching the kid’s shoulder, whirling him around.

“What do you want?” he retorted, shrugging the hand off of him. Taemin’s eyes were cold, mouth a set line. There was darkness dripping from every pour – as if he had just seen Hell and didn’t plan on leaving.

Dongwoon caught his breath before asking, “Where’s Mir? He’s your boyfriend so you must know right?”

“What? He ran away before you guys could run away together?” he bit back. “It doesn’t matter where he went off to.” Taemin started turning away, one foot planting itself firmly inside the taxi.

“Why are you being so indifferent?” Dongwoon snapped, gripping the heavy taxi door tightly. “Why aren’t you worried about him? You guys have been inseparable all break–!”

“—stay out of it!” Taemin cried. “ _Mir_ is the one who didn’t trust _me_. I kept writing to him but he stopped replying! _He’s_ the one who decided I’m not worth talking to anymore! I’ve been looking for him for two days and he still hasn’t shown up. I’m _done._ Obviously he doesn’t want me—”

Dongwoon jerked the boy out of the car, fingers loosening the seams of his collar. “THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!” He shook the kid roughly, teeth grinding together so hard there was a crunching noise.

Taemin fell silent, eyes widening at the volume of the normally controlled person’s voice.

“You were the only one who knew Mir had been missing for two days and you didn’t tell anyone?” his erratically spoken words dropped to a hoarse whisper, loathing drenching his expression, “Do you know what could have happened in _two days_?” Dongwoon fought the urge to punch the scrawny boy, “…You know about Mir’s past. You know more about his past than any of us. So how can you be so selfish right now? Where the _fuck were you running off to?_ ”

He clenched his fists, speaking softly, “Let go of me.”

Dongwoon shoved the boy aside.

Taemin winced, straightening and fixing his crinkled clothes. “I just need to get away.”

“No. _You_ need to go find your boyfriend.”

“No,” Taemin responded, shaking his head, “this is what Mir taught me. I want to run away. If he has been honest this whole time then he’ll come for me. He’s going to run away with me. He said he’ll be with me from now on.”

Dongwoon’s lip curled in disgust and he shook his head, backing away from the boy. “Do you even hear yourself? Do you know what you’re trying to ask of someone who’s exactly like you?” He wanted to shout Joon’s words in Taemin’s face but he could already tell it would do nothing. “You just don’t get it Taemin,” he muttered, “you can’t ask a broken person to fix another broken person. You’re both stuck where you are and if one falls over the edge, you can’t save them.”

“You’re wrong,” Taemin whispered, climbing into the taxi. The door slammed shut and the car pulled away.

 _Then your relationship ends here._ Dongwoon started walking back through the campus, absolutely feeling like he wanted to puke. His pocket vibrated though, effectively making his heart beat faster with hope.

“Hey, I’m with Minho right now,” Sungmin reported, “we just checked all of the dorm buildings and we’re going to check the music building. Have you found anything?”

“Tell Minho his best friend is a fucking selfish princess,” he remarked, breaking into a faster jog, eyes scanning the familiar array of shops, buildings and lamp posts. Through the phone he could hear Sungmin telling Minho exactly that. Dongwoon would have laughed or smiled in another situation. “I’m checking the main building now.”

“Okay, we’ll call if we find anything else,” then Sungmin ended the call, turning to Minho. “We should hurry up. Dongwoon sounds like he’s losing it.”

“Should we split up?” he asked, considering how much faster and more expansive their search could be if they did that.

Sungmin shook his head, touching Minho’s shoulder. “You don’t know Mir well enough to do anything if the situation is bad. We should stay close.”

**_Tip #6_ **

**_Bros before Hoes:_ **

**_You should know this applies to more than just dates and hang outs. This is emotionally speaking too. A good friend won’t put their own needs first – not when things are going really horribly for their friend. Always remember that you have to look out for one another, even if that means sometimes you have to be a little uncomfortable._ **

It was just a random thought, but a thought relating to Mir nonetheless. Minho had stumbled upon the quirky little guide site saved on the kid’s phone and had seen that particular tip first.

He glanced at Sungmin’s determined form. So he must’ve been a really great friend, huh? Sungmin had willingly come to ask Minho for help even though he has essentially “raped” him two months ago.

“When was the last time you saw Mir and Taemin?” Sungmin asked.

“Three days ago or something,” he replied immediately, not wanting to do anything that could piss off the other boy.

“Was Mir normal? Did you notice anything wrong with him?”

Minho shook his head, “No.”

They walked up to the music building, testing the door. It was locked.

“Shit,” Sungmin cursed, circling around the building to look through the windows. What if Mir had purposefully locked the building? Normally it was left open for students to use. “We should try getting in through the basement.”

“Are you serious?” Minho asked, following the other boy anyway.

“That’s the only way to get in,” Sungmin replied, finding a dusty window near the base of the building. He tried prying it open and when that did work, he took a step back, doing a low kick. The glass shattered and Sungmin turned around to see Minho’s staring open mouthed. “C’mon, let’s hurry up!”

“What the…,” he muttered, pretty positive it was inappropriate to be thinking how _hot_ that just was.

The black haired boy swung down agilely, slender boy gliding through the open space. “Be careful, there’s a drop!” Sungmin shouted from the darkness of the basement.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Minho sighed, testing his legs for tenseness before swooping through the window at an angle. The drop came and tingles raced up his legs at the impact. “Damn…” he winced, rubbing his ankles.

Metal rattling caught his attention and he looked up to see Sungmin struggling with the door. Dread raced through his bloodstream at a sudden realization. “Don’t tell me—!”

“Shut up!” Sungmin snapped, trying to knock the door down somehow. Why was everything in the music hall locked? The basement should’ve been free to open.

“Why the hell didn’t you know that this place was locked?!” Minho panicked, staggering to his feet and pounding on the metal as well.

“It’s not normally locked!”

“Well a lot of things aren’t _normal_ today! Why didn’t you think this through?”

Sungmin checked his phone, seeing no signal. A string of curses flew through his mind. There was no way this was happening. No way – not when something so serious was going on…

***

Dongwoon received another phone call as he hurried down the steps of the Main Building – the search having failed. The caller I.D. displayed: Ryeowook.

“What is it?” he demanded, praying for good news.

Sniffling and sobbing could be heard on the other side. “W-We found him.”

 


	29. Chapter 29

“Stop Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun whispered against his ear, pressing the struggling boy’s back against his chest. Both of his arms tightened around Ryeowook’s shaking shoulders to keep him safe. “You can’t get any closer.”

“Then _you_ do something to stop him!” he cried, tears dripping to the elevated floor. Ryeowook hugged the other boy’s tense arms, head lowering. “Please do something Kyu…”

He bit his lip, eyes flitting up to the shadowed figure dangling precariously over the metal railing. The person slackly gripped the horizontal pole, feet plants slightly apart on the inch wide concrete lip. Every few seconds his body would sway forward and then come back again, just like a whipping flag.

“How are you doing out there?” Kyuhyun asked meekly, looking over the top of Ryeowook’s head.

Mir glanced back with his pale, sickly face flashing in the gray skied afternoon. Where had the sun gone? “I’m fine,” he replied easily, hollowly.

“A-Ah…,” Kyuhyun muttered awkwardly, not sure what else he could say. His heart was beating rapidly against Ryeowook’s backside and he _hoped_ it was obvious he was trying to control the situation.

The crying boy looked up at Mir, writhing in Kyuhyun’s arms again. “ _Please Mir,_ ” he whimpered, “please talk to us! You’re going to get hurt just come back to the other side!”

“I wanted this.”

Ryeowook blinked, eyes widening at the response.

“I used to want this. Before I repressed everything,” Mir coughed, body shuddering at the force of it, “I thought if I inflicted enough pain on myself…maybe my parents wouldn’t want to hurt me anymore. Maybe I could hurt myself so they would be happy.”

Kyuhyun pulled Ryeowook closer, afraid his hold would loosen from the shock of Mir’s words. “Calm down,” he murmured, lips touching the smaller one’s jaw, “stay calm so you can listen to his story.”

Ryeowook nodded slowly, trying to still the violent tremors.

Mir laughed shallowly, “I _don’t_ want to die! I really don’t…,” he insisted, “I just wanted to be to free. They wanted me to be free too…that’s why they pushed me down that staircase, right? I bet in their own twisted way they were looking out for me.”

“You’re speaking in past tense,” Kyuhyun remarked as gently as possible, “You’re in the present, aren’t you?”

“But Taemin told me to keep digging,” he breathed unevenly, “he told me he needs me to be in the dark. I can’t let him be alone…I can’t—”

“—why are you listening to someone who wants you to feel pain?”

Mir stiffened, fingers abruptly tightening around the railing.

Dongwoon was panting, holding himself against the side of the staircase. Sweat covered his body, t-shirt sticking to him. Ryeowook breathed a sigh of relief, weight leaning back against Kyuhyun. “You’re here,” he said, smiling miserably.

“Yeah,” Dongwoon nodded before taking carefully steps towards Mir. “Are you listening to me Mir?” he called as thunder rumbled in the sky. “Someone who would let you fall alone like this isn’t looking out for you! He doesn’t _care_! He left the academy for who knows where this morning!”  

Mir licked his lips, eyes trailing down towards the far away cement. “He has my heart though…he wouldn’t waste so much time with me if he didn’t really care!” he shouted, voice cracking at the very end.

Then, oh-so softly, a familiar, fragile tinkling floated towards him. It followed a dainty beat that made his heart ache with nostalgia. Mir closed his eyes, tears and sobs choking his expression. A wail was drowned out as lightning cut the sky and rain drowned the earth.

Dongwoon set the music box down, closing it silently. It had been an accident when he found out the significance of the instrument. The wind had blown open one of Mir’s notebooks to reveal a half written letter to Taemin talking about it.

When he had gone to the boy’s room, he found the music box sitting on the table without as much as a letter. It hadn’t taken more than that for Dongwoon to snatch it up.

Slowly, he came up behind Mir, protectively covering his rain drenched hands and leaning over to rest his forehead upon one shaky shoulder. “I once heard from Yesung-hyung…,” Dongwoon moved his hands up, following the sloping lines of Mir’s waist, “that when it rains, angels are crying,” he came full circle, arms tightening around the starved boy’s abdomen, “please don’t let them cry for you too.”

He lifted him over the slick railing, falling to the ground. Mir curled into his body, crying silently now. They soaked through Dongwoon’s shirt, warm and real. “Thank god,” he breathed raggedly, pulling Mir closer and closer, never meaning to let go. Dongwoon lowered his head, eyes closing to quell the tears daring to fall.

Kyuhyun kept his arms around Ryeowook, gazing at the scene before him. The small boy clinging to him was too far gone in emotions to see what was going on – to accurately sight the precise state of things.

But not Kyuhyun, he was very aware.

He was thinking over everything, even as he continued comforting Ryeowook. On that rainy afternoon, Kyuhyun had witnessed something spectacular. He never knew it was something so breathtaking. Sometimes, in movies, he would see the characters fall in love at first sight. Or they would become attracted over time and turmoil.

Yet he had never seen what it was like for, dare he say it, soulmates, to find love. They were on a completely different level. It was more captivating than any perfectly set movie scene or any old couple confessing affection.

They were…

He leaned away from Ryeowook, gently tilting the tear streaked face up to his own. _What if we fell in love?_

“W-What is it?” he mumbled, face crumpling for no real reason.

Kyuhyun simply shook his head, and pushed Ryeowook back towards his chest. “Your friend is safe, be happy.”

“I am,” he assured, swallowing empty sobs, “thank you Kyuhyun…thank you so much.”

_Yeah…what if we fell in love?_


	30. Chapter 30

“We’ll have him under 72 Hour Watch,” Dr. Choi explained calmly, glancing at the sleeping Mir. The school had offered to take him to a hospital but both Ryeowook and Dongwoon had firmly stated their opposition to the idea.

When asked why, Dongwoon could only say “He isn’t suicidal.” The words were lacking conviction yet there was something so…stern about them – as if Dongwoon would’ve staked his life on the statement.

Ryeowook stood by Kyuhyun near the edge of Mir’s bed, his side pressing close to the taller boy’s body. They were gazing the sickly face, an oxygen mask pulled over parted lips. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, standing out against the green tinted ashen skin. An I.V. drip fed nutrients into his body, a number of equally frightening machines hooked up to him.

“He doesn’t appear to have eaten anything in the past few days,” the doctor remarked, looking over his notes, “I checked his body for any wounds and he doesn’t appear to have any. Do any of you know what was going on during those three days he was starving himself?” Dr. Choi tried to use as gentle a voice as possible while still maintaining professionalism but it was surprisingly difficult to do such a thing. He needed to be clear and concise yet sensitive – a hard line to follow.

Dongwoon settled into the visitor’s chair, fingers tightly entwined with Mir’s. “He was trying to remember his life,” he explained quietly, body still drenched in sweat and rain, “he was trying to protect his love.” The words had become mutterings, as if he were speaking to himself more than anyone else. Dongwoon lowered his head to the clean white sheets, tilting to eye the sleeping face. “I’m never letting you go Mir,” he whispered, “…never, ever.”

“Ah…,” Dr. Choi nodded in confusion, “Ryeowook and Kyuhyun would you mind leaving? I’d like to clear out this room.” He shot the back of Dongwoon’s head a wary look before dismissing the boy. “He’s not going to leave, I can see…” It was fine though, the doctor decided. The “watch” was rather informal so he could let it slip…just this once.

Ryeowook touched Kyuhyun’s hand, signaling the latter that it was time to leave them alone. “Okay, we’ll be around tomorrow morning. Is that okay?”

“Yes, I suppose so,” the doctor mumbled, completely giving up.

“We’ll see you tomorrow Mir,” Ryeowook said quietly, waving goodbye and tugging Kyuhyun along with him.

They disappeared through the open doorway which was soon shut by Dr. Choi. “I’ll be in my office,” he stated, walking towards a segregated room to the side, “if anything abnormal happens please tell me. I also have monitors though.”

Dongwoon nodded faintly, running his thumb softly across the back of Mir’s hand. The doctor wasted no more time heading off to right a report, closing the door behind him.

It was all quiet in the infirmary now, only the repetitive beeping of the heart monitor could be heard. Dongwoon sighed in relief for possibly the hundredth time that day and buried his face in the sheets.

“You’ll be safe,” he promised, “I’ll hold your hand every step of the way,” as if to emphasize the point, he squeezed Mir’s limp fingers, “We’ll go on fun dates and eat your favorite sweets,” his lips trembled, eyes shutting, “Let’s enter a rapping contest together this summer,” the muscles in his neck twitched, “and then we’ll go from there. So wake up soon and forget about Taemin.”

Dongwoon shifted in his chair, free hand slowly opening the music box in his lap, “He never deserved this Mir. You need to find someone better,” he took a shaky breath, “please find someone better…”

***

“If you weren’t done crying you should’ve said so earlier,” Kyuhyun sighed, holding Ryeowook in his arms as the slender boy cried into his t-shirt. He patted his roommate’s back, leaning against the brick wall of the main building.

Rain continued pouring around them as they stayed protected beneath the concrete porch roof. There was a warm wind whipping around them, at times bringing along a cold vein or two.

Ryeowook kept his arms around Kyuhyun’s lean waist, shoulders moving spastically with each miserable whimper. “I-I didn’t want to l-look weak in f-front of Mir…,” he whined, breaking the fragile sobs.

“It’s okay,” Kyuhyun murmured, stretching his neck up towards the dry ceiling, “everything is fine. Dongwoon saved him because we found him. You protected your friend so be happy about that.” There was something about the day, the time, the scene that made the kindness in his heart come out. Sometimes it just happened, he told himself, that you just get soft for no real reason.

“ _You_ found him Kyu,” Ryeowook breathed, “you were the one who said we should check the Bell Tower…if you weren’t around Mir probably would’ve—”

“—if you hadn’t come looking for me then none of this would’ve happened,” Kyuhyun interrupted with a grimace. He didn’t want to be praised for the incident.

After his pitiful performance at trying to stop Mir from jumping he couldn’t forgive himself. So what if he didn’t know the kid that well? What if Kyuhyun had been the last hope and he failed? Ryeowook’s close friend would’ve committed suicide right in front of him. How can anyone heal from that sort of trauma?

His arms tightened around Ryeowook at the thought. Kyuhyun lowered his head on top of the smaller boy’s. “Do you get it?” he whispered, absently brushing a kiss against those soft locks of hair.

“Mmhmm…,” Ryeowook mumbled, leaning into the tender touch, “but still, thank you. Thank you Kyuhyun.”

A warm rippling shudder drove up his spine. He wanted to reach back and find out what was wrong with him but that wasn’t possible in his current situation. Instead, Kyuhyun settled for snuggling closer to Ryeowook, letting his fingers run through the short one’s damp tresses.

“K-Kyuhyun…?” the latter questioned hoarsely, tilting his head back to meet the other boy’s eyes.

“Ryeowook…,” he responded, eyelids lowering slightly as he leaned forward, “I–I don’t know what’s wrong with me…I just want to—”

“KYUHYUN!”

The shout jolted them apart, Ryeowook practically flying to the opposite side of the platform. Kyuhyun’s head shot up and he saw a figure running through the rain, a limp body draped across his back.

Once under the dry cover, the person caught his breath, wincing and looking at a wide-eyed Kyuhyun pleadingly. “Is the main building open? Please tell me it is!”

“What’s going on?” he demanded, helping his friend set the injured boy down.

“Hey Kyu…,” Donghae grunted, now identified as the hurt kid. His leg was bent slightly, pain contorting his soaked features, “I think I did something…”

“What happened?” Kyuhyun snapped, kneeling down before him and examining the dirty, bruised knee.

The friend finally stopped panting, and said, “We were practicing and we told him that we should stop because it’s raining but he kept saying he wanted to keep going. Long story short, the lightning tripped him up and he couldn’t land a jump kick. His knee gave out.”

“You _idiot!_ ” he shouted, standing up and running towards the door, “I’ll be right back. Don’t move!” Kyuhyun threw one more look at Donghae and then hurried towards Dr. Choi.

Ryeowook scooted over to the injured boy, gently touching the wound. “Tell me when it hurts,” he stated calmly, stretching Donghae’s leg.

“Stop, stop,” he winced, gripping his thigh and gritting his teeth, “I think it’s my ACL.”

“Okay,” Ryeowook nodded, prodding at the knee. After so many years with a heart condition, he had come to learn more about anatomy than he wanted to know. “Dr. Choi should be here soon so don’t move it anymore.”

Donghae swallowed hard, “Uh-huh…”

“Hey prez,” the friend began, placing a hand on Ryeowook’s shoulder, “why are all of the buildings locked? We tried to go to the Music Building, Science Building and Recreational Center but all of the doors were chained shut.”

Ryeowook thought for a moment, trying to remember what the school director had told him. “Ah…,” he abruptly clapped his hands and said, “It’s construction. All of the buildings are undergoing interior construction until the end of Spring Break. If it hadn’t rained the buildings would’ve been opened by late this evening.”

The stranger nodded his understanding, saying, “I guess the Music Building really needed to get fixed up. When I was passing by the side of it I saw the basement window broken. Water was flooding it.”

“Hmm…that’s weird,” he muttered just as Dr. Choi and Kyuhyun burst through the door.

The professional immediately began tending to Donghae’s injury, doing similar stretching tests that Ryeowook had done. “We’re going to transfer you to a hospital as soon as possible okay Donghae?” Dr. Choi assured, prodding and massaging the athlete’s knee.

“Okay,” he mumbled, flinching away from the touch.

“Kids are so careless during breaks,” the doctor sighed, “can you tell me what happened?” The friend launched into the long version of the story as Kyuhyun went back to where Ryeowook was leaning against a support pillar.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” Kyuhyun asked, keeping one ear open for anything important Dr. Choi might say. He had subconsciously moved closer to Ryeowook, leg brushing against leg.

The smaller of the two bit his lip, saying nothing.

Kyuhyun glanced down, suddenly gripping Ryeowook’s wrist. “He’s going to be okay, right?” There was silent desperation in his eyes, as if the boy’s assurance would mean Donghae’s absolute safety.

“I-I don’t…I’m not…,” Ryeowook settled for shaking his head, unsure what else he could do. When the ACL is damaged there are only two possibilities. It would either be a sprain that can recover or, in most soccer player cases, it would mean surgery.

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

“Mm…s-stop…”

“I can’t. Stop struggling.”

“But it hurts,” he panted, turning his face away.

Minho sighed, “We just have to get passed this part and it’ll be fine.” He moved between the black haired boy’s legs, trying to get comfortable.

Sungmin gulped, gazing up at the handsome face hovering above him. “Minho…”

The one in question took a calming breath, shifting a bit, “Yeah?”

He blushed in the dimly lit basement, “You’re making me wet…”

 

_An hour ago…_

“Just take a deep breath,” Minho stated, grabbing Sungmin’s wrists and forcing the boy away from the door, “you’re just wasting your strength trying to break down that door.”

The black haired boy frowned. “Well what should we do then?! Do you want to sit around? Maybe have a nice old conversation while munching on some dead rat?”

“What dead rat?” Minho scrambled up to higher ground, eyes darting around the dirty, cold floor.

Sungmin rolled his eyes. “What do you want to do? We’re stuck here.”

“No shit,” he muttered, gingerly sitting down on a halfway sturdy crate, “we’ll just have to wait for someone to find us.”

“How can you give up so easily?”

Minho huffed in irritation. “What the hell do you think we can do? We’re locked in a basement inside a locked building without any phone reception. There’s literally _nothing_ we can do but sit around waiting for help.”

“Dammit,” Sungmin growled, kicking the heavy metal door out of pure frustration, “Mir…”

The handsome boy stifled a sigh, realizing how stupid his pessimism was. Of course Sungmin was being impatient because he was worried. What the hell was Minho doing making the situation sound so hopeless?

“You can trust Ryeowook.”

Sungmin stiffened, turning around to fully face Minho. “Huh?”

“I mean,” the latter moved his hands between legs, palms pressing into the wood crate for support, “Ryeowook is a lot more reliable than you give him credit for. You _and_ that guy Kyuhyun are always trying to protect him but he’s not that useless.”

Offense tripped up Sungmin’s features. “Don’t compare me to that Hound and I _don’t_ think Ryeowook is useless. I’ve never thought that.”

Minho raised his hands in surrender, eyebrows arching. “Hey, hey, I’m just saying it like it looks. You may not be similar to Kyuhyun in a lot of ways but the two of you definitely treat Ryeowook the same.” He put up a warning hand to stop Sungmin from cutting in. “Neither of you, whether you admit it or not, has ever given him the chance to prove himself. You don’t have to protect him like some rare bird species. He can take care of himself.”

Sungmin took a slow breath, trying to fight the retorts that burst through his mind. Who was Minho to talk as if he knew Ryeowook better than anyone else? Wasn’t Sungmin his boyfriend? Wasn’t Kyuhyun his oldest friend? What was a stranger like Minho doing mouthing off like that?

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sungmin finally said, having settled on the most generic possible reply.

“No, I do,” he shrugged casually, pausing to allow the thunder and lightning to pass before continuing, “Ryeowook was strong back in our first year too. You and Kyuhyun just couldn’t see it.”

“If you’re going to keep talking please stop addressing me and Kyuhyun side by side,” Sungmin remarked, shuddering.

Minho chuckled and nodded. “Well anyway, I’m not joking around. Ryeowook is very possibly the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He smiled, “Seriously, why can’t any of you see beyond the cute, helpless exterior? I could _easily_ name five instances of Ryeowook’s badass behavior.”

“Fine, do it,” the other boy grunted, crossing his arms and taking a seat on a dusty ledge across from the handsome figure.

A smirk crossed his lips at the challenging tone. “Fine, number one,” he raised a finger, “last year his closest friend brutally ended their relationship but Ryeowook got back up and fought to get the friendship back. It didn’t work out but he tried.”

“That’s all perspective!” Sungmin argued, only half convincingly.

Minho simply grinned, tilting his head, “if it’s all perspective then why can’t you see from the perspective where Ryeowook isn’t a damsel in distress? Why can’t you see his strong points?” He pressed a finger to his lips, “Now be quiet and let me finish.”

The boy flushed and looked away, fingers curling into fists.

“Good. Number two, Ryeowook was a raving alcoholic but he pulled it all together and rose to the StudGov presidency in roughly three months. Three, he accepted a rat bastard like Kyuhyun back into his life instead of shunning him like an immature bitch. Second chances are fucking hard to give.” Minho gave Sungmin a warning look and the latter shut up, pouting. “Four, he managed to help someone like YoungSaeng find happiness.” He shook his head in awe, breaking into a fresh smile, “You don’t even know what sort of shit YoungSaeng was up to before Ryeowook came along. He saved him, Sungmin.”

Minho paused before saying the fifth one, seemingly remembering something. “…Five, Ryeowook protected me when that gambling ring set their thugs on us.” He locked eyes with Sungmin briefly before letting his shoulders droop a bit, eyes lowering, “The little guy shielded me when they were beating the shit out of us. I can’t…I can’t even describe what it was like to have someone, especially someone who barely knew me, put their own life at risk to keep me safe.”

There was a long silence as Sungmin tried to process everything he just heard. Of course he knew about the incident back in their first year but he had never been told about Ryeowook _protecting_ Minho. It just never crossed his mind. Was that the problem? Perhaps he had never thought of Ryeowook as useless, but he had never praised Ryeowook either.

“Do you get my point?” he prompted softly.

Sungmin nodded faintly. “He’s really amazing…huh? How come you’re the only one who sees his shining moments?”

“Because he and I are just friends,” Minho explained casually, “to me he’s not a damsel to rescue. He’s just Ryeowook, the cutest badass I’ve ever met.”

It was probably the weather making him crazy. Yes, it definitely had to be the weather. Sungmin listened to the dripping of rain as it spilled into the basement, quickly darkening and spoiling old furniture and miscellaneous cardboard. “Then what are we?”

Minho’s eyes widened and he staggered back at the question.

“Why would you tell me that it was you, when it was really Jonghyun?” Sungmin’s gaze was steady, heart racing with each spoken word. “Why would you try to protect me?”

“How…”

“It’s not important,” he replied briskly, “just answer me.”

Minho covered his face, trying to hide the heated flush. “…it was for you and Ryeowook, I swear. I thought it would lessen the blow if you thought I attacked you.”

“You’re an idiot.” Sungmin was in front of him in a second, palms slapping either side of his face. The brutalized boy winced at the stinging in his cheeks but otherwise did nothing but let Sungmin lead him. “But I guess I’m thankful,” Sungmin muttered, holding the tall boy’s face up to his, “you really pulled Ryeowook and I back together.”

Outside, the storm was climbing to its peak, more and more water pouring in through the broken window. Shards of glass fell to the concrete, shattering into even smaller pieces.

“What do you mean?” Minho cocked an eyebrow, not in the least complaining at their proximity.

“Nothing,” he smiled slightly, backing up and turning towards the window. “Okay, enough talking. I think I have an idea.” Sungmin stopped underneath the flooded opening, pointing up at it. “Help boost me up and I’ll try climbing out to get help.”

Minho bit back his snarky comments and hopped off the crate to help Sungmin with his faulty plan. At least it was better than watching him try to break down a thick ass metal door. “Okay,” he kneeled down, locking his palms together, “go.”

In one fluid motion, Sungmin pressed down on the makeshift human ladder, reaching up for the edge of the window…

 

_Present_

“Mm…s-stop…”

“I can’t. Stop struggling.”

“But it hurts,” he panted, turning his face away.

Minho sighed, “We just have to get passed this part and it’ll be fine.” He moved between the black haired boy’s legs, trying to get comfortable.

Sungmin gulped, gazing up at the handsome face hovering above him. “Minho…”

The one in question took a calming breath, shifting a bit, “Yeah?”

He blushed in the dimly lit basement, “You’re making me wet…”

Minho snorted, pressing torn sleeve of his shirt against the bleeding cut. “It was _your_ idea to jump for a jagged broken window.” His eyes drifted down to the puddle they were currently sitting in.

“It worked until that damn lightning blinded me,” Sungmin argued weakly.

“And now look,” the other boy muttered, trying to stop the blood flow, “your leg is useless.” A constant stream of scarlet leaked from the inner side of Sungmin’s calf. Minho struggled to keep the leg propped on his thigh, awkwardly juggling the weight.

“Let’s just find something to stop the bleeding.” He picked the boy up carefully, setting him down on one of the higher stacked crates. Minho started rummaging through the piles of garbage and long forgotten equipment, hoping for something similar to a first aid kit.

Sungmin continued applying pressure to the wound, biting his lip at the coming and going stinging. “Sorry…,” he mumbled.

“Don’t’ worry,” Minho replied absently, “put pressure on your forearm too. It’s all torn up.”

“Oh,” he quickly turned his attention to the other cut, abruptly panicking at the realization that he didn’t have enough hands to take care of everything.

A few minutes passed and then Minho was crying out in victory. He smirked at the box of medical supplies as he walked back to Sungmin. The blood had soaked through the makeshift cloth, Minho’s torn sleeve, and was now dribbling down Sungmin’s hand.

“Wow,” the latter’s eyes fluttered in surprise, “that’s lucky.”

“Yeah it is,” he agreed, popping it open and finding proper sanitizing wipes and a nearly expired bottle of rubbing alcohol. “This might sting a little,” Minho warned before pouring some of the clear liquid onto a towel.

Sungmin bit down on his lip, trying to ignore the stinging. It had been ages since he was taken care of like such a little kid. Martial arts rarely ended in bleeding wounds, plenty of bruises and broken bones were dealt but lacerations were a totally different thing.

“Just a little longer,” he murmured, bandaging the wound before moving on to do the same cleaning and dressing of Sungmin’s arm.

In the meantime, the black haired boy peered out at the darkening sky, large raindrops blurring the world. “We’re not leaving tonight are we?” he mumbled.

Minho didn’t answer.

 ***

After showering, Ryeowook attempted to call his boyfriend for perhaps the fifth time that night. At first he figured Sungmin got the memo about Mir being alright, but when he called the voice message didn’t even pop up; it just went straight to a dead droning line.

The Honors Dorm was quiet all around except for a few noises come from select bedrooms. Most of the students were, as stated before, away on trips. Everyone who was still around didn’t give a damn about each other which was perfectly fine.

Thunder roared outside causing Ryeowook to jump. He bumped into a firm body and spun around, the towel around his neck flying. “Oh, Kyu,” he smiled uneasily, heart pounding.

Kyuhyun picked up the edge of the damp towel, pressing it to Ryeowook’s slightly dripping hair. “Dry this properly, dummy,” he remarked distractedly.

Ryeowook reached up, his hand covering Kyuhyun’s, “I will.”

“Where’s the Stupid Bunny?” he suddenly asked, breaking contact and stepping back.

A blush rushed across Ryeowook’s face but the color quickly drained as he listened to the rain increase in intensity. “I don’t know. He’s somewhere without phone reception. I’ve been trying to call him and I’m getting worried.”

“Ah hell,” Kyuhyun groaned, raking fingers through hair, “don’t tell me he’s trapped in that storm. We’ve had enough for one day from that stupid rain.”

Ryeowook muffled a sigh, knowing that Kyuhyun was thinking of Donghae. The phone lines were all down more or less and the hospital hadn’t contacted him yet. Everything was a perfect wreck. “I hope the rain stops…,” Ryeowook remarked under his breath, eyes scanning the black night.

“You didn’t go eat did you?” Kyuhyun looked down at him.

“You didn’t either,” he returned.

The taller boy cracked a tiny smile. “Cook for me?”

Ryeowook reached out, offering his hand as if they were still children. Without hesitation, Kyuhyun took it, allowing the smaller figure to lead him down the hall towards the Honors Dorm kitchen.

Cooking was something Ryeowook had always been great at, Kyuhyun had to admit. During their days in the foster program he had honed his skills in making food, often feeding the both of them late in the night when they were hungry. The guardians never minded of course. After all, how could they mind when Ryeowook also made them food at their request?

“What do you want to eat?” he prompted.

Kyuhyun let his shoulders rise and fall. “Whatever is in the fridge, I guess.”

“He’s going to be okay,” Ryeowook said softly, “he’ll be healthy again.”

The hand around his tightened and Kyuhyun stepped closer to the boy. “That’s not good enough. He needs to be healthy on an athlete’s level.”

“I don’t think I can promise that though,” he replied solemnly, “I’m sorry Kyu…”

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Kyuhyun ascertained, practically lying to his self. At the earliest, Donghae would be in condition to play sports in three to four days and at the latest it could be three to four weeks, _if_ it was a sprain.

Ryeowook chewed his bottom lip, not even wanting to consider how long recovering from surgery would take. Even after surgery, Donghae would never be able to play soccer at the same level as now. A torn ACL was basically tearing your knee in half. That particular segment of the joint held the entire thing together. If it collapsed so did the leg.

“You can sit down and wait for me if you want,” Ryeowook stated, going to the kitchen area and pulling on an apron. He tied it twice around his waist, knotting it in the front. Then he went about searching for ingredients, having decided on as simple a dish as possible. Neither of them was very hungry after all.

 Kyuhyun obeyed, laying his head down on the circular wooden table. His eyes closed as he listened to the soft humming of Ryeowook and the numbing clang of metal pots and pans. It was just like old times – the happy old times, where there were only two people in the entire world. The white clouds and blue sky were still pure. The dark, polluted city wasn’t just beyond the barrier either. Everything had been _perfect_.

But perfection isn’t in high demand these days. Now people want to see the imperfections of their favorite stars and, more importantly, everyone in between.

He moved around in the chair, turning back to gaze at the bustling Ryeowook. A smile played on the boy’s lips as he dropped ingredients into a steaming pot of water and then returned to chop some sort of green vegetable.

 _What if we fell in love?_ Kyuhyun blinked. Why was he suddenly thinking about that? Better yet, why had he thought that in the first place?

Was falling in love again such a good thing? Wouldn’t Ryeowook just end up hurting him? In their current situation, the only one up for pain was Kyuhyun. Sungmin would take Ryeowook away to a happy place and protect him. On the other hand, who would take Kyuhyun away?

There was no one left.

“Did you take a shower yet, Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook asked, dropping ingredients into a boiling pot of water.

“Yeah,” he murmured, yawning.

“You can take a short nap if you want,” the small boy remarked, “It’ll take at least another fifteen minutes to finish preparing dinner.” Ryeowook came over to touch Kyuhyun’s arm, urging him to move towards the couch.

Kyuhyun allowed himself to be pushed out of the kitchen, eyes resting on Ryeowook as the same words pounded in his mind. _What if we…_ He tried to shake it off but it wasn’t budging. Instead, it played like a broken record.

“We’ll call the hospital immediately tomorrow morning,” Ryeowook said quietly, squeezing Kyuhyun’s arm gently, “so relax. There’s nothing either of us can do right now.”

Of course he was right. It was just difficult to accept. Kyuhyun felt as if he _could_ do something but really, the reality was beginning to sink in. That feeling of hope was simply _hope_. What could you do with hope? Unless you had the ability to act, praying and crying and sulking did nothing.

But how can anyone ask for humans to be so emotionless? Kyuhyun was strong, but even he wasn’t strong enough to be immune to the turmoil in his chest and mind. “Can you sit with me?” he blurted, eyes darting to Ryeowook.

The latter’s eyes grew, lips parting in surprise. “W-Why?”

Kyuhyun shrugged casually, trying to cover up the whine. “It’s nothing, never mind,” he muttered, “just go back to cooking.”

“Uhm…alright,” Ryeowook mumbled, backing away and gliding towards the kitchen, “Just rest up Kyu. I’ll be done soon.”

 

Sure enough, fifteen or so minutes later Ryeowook was emerging from the warmly scented area with a pot of soup in his oven mitt protects hands. He set it down on the coffee table quietly, not wanting to disturb the slumbering Kyuhyun.

There were dark circles under his eyes, ones that Ryeowook hadn’t noticed. Just how much training had Kyuhyun been doing with Donghae to form those sorts of facial lines? How many hours had they spent during Spring Break intensively practicing and prepping?

Ryeowook slid the back of his fingers across the side of Kyuhyun’s sloping face, free hand pressing down on the couch. The skin was warm under his touch, smooth in some places and rougher in others. He half kneeled on the cushions, curiously moving forward until he was looming over the sleeping boy.

“Kyu…,” Ryeowook cooed close to the other’s ear, his hand drifting down to slightly caress Kyuhyun’s neck, “wake up, Kyu…”

Dark, bleary eyes flitted open, gazing foggily up at Ryeowook, “Go away,” he mumbled childishly, “I want to sleep.” Kyuhyun tried to turn away but the conscious boy stopped him, forcing him to wake up with a few violent shakes.

“Are you awake now?” Ryeowook asked, frowning and moving back.

Kyuhyun glared and grunted, sitting upright. “Yeah, what’re we eating?” He peered into the steaming pot, pleased surprise lighting his features. “Oh…you remembered my favorite.”

“It’s easy too,” he replied, smiling sweetly and taking a spoon. Ryeowook dipped it into the soup, blowing once on it before feeding it to Kyuhyun. The latter ate it agreeably, taking up his own spoon and scooping out a bit of tofu for Ryeowook.

The continued that way until the pot was nearing the bottom. At times, Ryeowook would giggle at the amount Kyuhyun would try to feed him, only to receive an annoyed glare and persistent push of a fully loaded spoon.

“I can do the dishes,” Kyuhyun stated, picking up the pot and dropping the utensils inside of it.

“Really?” Ryeowook stood up, following the other boy, unsure.

“I can do this at the very least,” he scoffed, turning on the water and soaking the metal for a while in hot water.  

Ryeowook watched uneasily, but said nothing.

The look wasn’t missed by his companion though. With another annoyed sigh, Kyuhyun pointed towards the living room, saying, “Get out and get some sleep. It’s been a long day and tomorrow isn’t going to be any better. There’s a hell of a lot that needs to be done when the morning comes.”

“That’s true,” Ryeowook agreed reluctantly, slowly moving towards the exit, “just—”

_Bzzt…bzzt…_

Ryeowook practically launched himself at the phone, scrabbling to open it and answer. Kyuhyun was right next to him, ear pressed to the receiver, hands curled around the slender boy’s shoulders. “H-Hello? This is Kim Ryeowook speaking.”

“Hello? This is Dr. Choi, I finally got a call through the storm,” he spoke gravely, a fact that dropped both the boys’ hearts.

“Did the hospital contact you?” Ryeowook asked.

“Yes…Donghae isn’t in a good place right now. His injury is more serious than previously supposed. He…He’s going into surgery tonight. They can’t guarantee that he’ll be able to play soccer for the next year or so.”

The hands around his shoulders tightened and Ryeowook turned up to see Kyuhyun’s head lowered, forehead resting against the smaller one’s neck. “A-Ah…thanks.”

“Tell Kyuhyun I’m sorry,” Dr. Choi said softly, “tell him that it would be the best if he supported Donghae throughout this.”

“I…I will.” Ryeowook ended the call and immediately Kyuhyun was embracing him tightly, body trembling severely. “It’s okay Kyuhyun,” Ryeowook whispered, crying silently, “I’ll cry for you…”

He said nothing in reply, just nodded and held on to what, he was starting to realize, was his love.

 


	32. Chapter 32

Sungmin shivered in the chilly basement, the lights scarcely warming them in the blistering storm. Two ragged and worn blankets covered his body but it was doing very little against the poorly patched up window.

Earlier, Minho had taken the liberty of stuffing a number of oddities in the cracked opening to stop the flooding and had succeeded in plugging it. The only problem was that cold wind just slipped past all the barriers. On a lighter note, the ground wasn’t as wet.

“Are you hungry?” Minho stooped down before the shaking boy. In his hand was a chilled chocolate bar. “I found it in the mini fridge. It was this or double fudge ice cream.”

Sungmin pouted, thinking about the ice cream. “I would’ve preferred the double fudge.”

Minho rolled his eyes, breaking a piece of the candy and pressing it against the black haired boy’s lips. “Just eat. This has some protein unlike that creamy garbage.”

“This is creamy too,” Sungmin argued, chewing the food gratefully nonetheless. “Aren’t you cold?” he prompted, before opening his mouth for another piece of food.

“Not really,” he popped another chocolate morsel into the other’s mouth, “you’re only cold because you’ve lost blood.” Minho broke another part off, eating it himself.

Sungmin glanced out at the cold night again, before sighing and making a decision. “I’m cold.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied slowly, cocking an eyebrow, “didn’t I just say that?”

“I’m really cold,” he persisted, shifting around underneath the blankets. Sungmin unwound them, revealing his curled up figure. “Can you keep me warm?” A blush rushed his face but he held on, feeling guilty and indebted for all of Minho’s kindness.

Scarlet colored the normally cool boy’s cheeks and he fumbled to catch the chocolate bar in hand. “Y-You’re serious?” he cursed the stutter, body leaning towards Sungmin.

“Just hurry up,” the slender boy snapped.

Without further hesitation, Minho pressed close, pulling Sungmin into his lap so the injured leg could easily drape over the taller boy’s body. The blanket came closer around them until their body heat mingled, igniting an unexpected warmth.

Sungmin tentatively snuggled closer, wanting to stay as warm as possible through the cold night. It was literally life or death. He would tell Ryeowook in the morning. Nothing was happening and Ryeowook trusted Minho in general. There wasn’t anything to feel bad about in that respect…right? “…Thanks…for all of it,” he muttered, embarrassed.

“It’s fine,” Minho murmured, leaning his head back and closing his eyes against all of the unwanted perversion. He wrapped his arms around Sungmin, “The sooner we sleep the sooner everything will be over.”

Pain shot through Sungmin’s chest. Why did it sound so final? “Hey…can I ask you something?”

Minho sighed, but nodded.

“You,” he paused, letting the word float in the air, “do you think Ryeowook and I are supposed to be together?” Sungmin clenched his fists, looking down at the ratty blanket keeping them warm. The reason for asking was unknown. Why would it matter if Minho approved of their relationship? He had asked without really thinking, the words coming forth all on their own.

Minho pursed his lips, considering the question. “Do you mean you and Ryeowook are meant to be together forever? Like marriage and stuff?”

“I-I guess,” he stammered, color rushing to his cheeks.

“Then I’d say you guys are good,” he took a long second to finish his thought, as if saying it were wrong, “but not perfect.”

“What would make us perfect?” Sungmin pressed.

“Nothing,” Minho replied as gently as he could, “because when something is meant to be perfect, it’ll be perfect from the very beginning and you know what? There’s no such thing.” He nudged the boy in his lap, trying to cheer him up after such heavy words, “Kyuhyun and Ryeowook aren’t perfect together either, not even close.”

The black haired teen smiled a bittersweet smile. “Yeah, that really makes me happy. If anyone is close to perfect, it’s them don’t you think?”

“Personally, I’d say it was Mir and Dongwoon,” he replied, blinking in surprise as his own statement. The reaction was reflected on Sungmin’s face as well. Minho chuckled and looked around the basement, trying to indicate their situation. “Dongwoon got us stuck here because he was searching for Mir desperately. That’s gotta account for something right? And I mean, have you ever had a chance to see them together? I’m not some love expert but I can definitely understand why Taemin was so defensive.”

Sungmin cocked an eyebrow. “Taemin’s your best friend and you’re saying someone is better than him?”

“It’s the truth!” he cried, earning a laugh from the cute boy. Minho nodded earnestly, “Really, he’s a sweet kid deep down, but he just made the biggest mistake of his life by dating Mir.”

“Huh?”

“Taemin and I were raised together,” he sighed, “but he’s always been sensitive. He took all of the words, actions, and shit seriously. Because of that he’s so fucked up in the head I didn’t even know it was possible for someone to get through to him. I just wish it hadn’t been another messed up kid.”

Sungmin was quiet, thoughtful. “…why weren’t you messed up?” he asked, lifting his head to look at the other person.

“Me?” Minho made a face, appearing confused by the question. “I guess it was because I needed to take care of Taemin. When you’re caring for someone else, you end up forgetting about yourself. You should know what that’s like what with last year’s Ryeowook and everything.”

They kept on it, talking about this and that, falling into a cycle of laughter, seriousness, and sometimes silence. The more they spoke, the more the cold receded and the heat increased. Soon the blanket was falling away as Sungmin became animated about a certain topic of interest.

Minho just leaned back against the locked door, chuckling at whatever the boy in front of him was saying. It was strange how things worked out – a fact that had always ended poorly for Minho. That was why, as he allowed himself to enjoy the current situation, he kept in mind it wouldn’t last.

Being with Sungmin wasn’t an option. It probably wouldn’t be an option for a long time, if ever.

But it was okay.

It was really okay because so long as he could see the boy happily chattering as he was doing now, everything was fine.

Minho could continue grinning and supporting Ryeowook and Sungmin’s relationship because – “I really love you,” he laughed as a smile bloomed on his face.

Thunder shook the silenced world. And then the truth shattered everything.

All the while, only one word played in Minho’s mind: _Shit._

Sungmin swallowed his held breath, large eyes wider than life. “You…you what?”

_***_

Lightning flashed across Dongwoon’s field of vision, making him pull back in numbing pain. Bursts of green and yellow danced through the air and he tried to shake it off, licking his lips and reaching for a cup of water.

He felt around the blankets for Mir’s hand, finding it with relief. The water chilled his burning throat as he watched over the slumbering figure, a strange sense of calm coming from the repetitive, even beeps of the heart rate monitor.

Thunder roared across the horizon, sending tremors through the walls. Dongwoon set the cup down, having drained all of its contents. “You should be quieter,” he muttered to the raging storm, “you’ll disrupt him.” He absently ran his lips across Mir’s slender fingers, pausing at the edge of his pinky. “C’mon…I want to hear your voice again,” Dongwoon whispered, voice cracking, “I hadn’t realized how much I missed it until now.”

Silent, jagged streaks of light cut the black sky. He stood up, closing the curtains with a huff. Quickly, he returned to Mir’s side, angling away from the rest of the office so he could focus more on the helpless boy.

“I hear that unconscious people can still hear people talking to them,” Dongwoon remarked, “so I hope you don’t mind if I talk to you. I bet you think I’m just being paranoid, but I don’t want to fall asleep knowing that I’ll wake up and just maybe…,” he forced the lump in his throat down, “maybe that beeping won’t be in the back of my mind anymore – that maybe I’ll wake up to silence instead of your beating heart.”

He nodded to himself, and reached out with both hands, bringing Mir’s limp one close to the seam of his lips. “If you don’t wake up, then I have to wonder what the point in saving you was. If I can’t see you happy, then there’s no point in seeing you.” Dongwoon released a slow, low breath. “I know it’s selfish. I know that…but I don’t want to ever see you desperately fighting like that again. You shouldn’t have to try so hard, Mir.”

“I can never know what you went through back then,” he squeezed his clasped hands gently, bowing his head, “but I know you went through enough to deserve better than that person. He wasn’t worth your life. No one, not even me, is worth your life. Why did you have to try so hard to protect him? Do you love him that much?”

Dongwoon barked out a laugh, dry and humorless. “Anyone who asks for your life and then tosses it aside the next second…I just don’t know what to say.”

There was movement.

He jumped a bit, turning to see Mir’s face twisted in emotions. “You can hear me?” Dongwoon whispered, leaning down to press a cooling kiss to the boy’s crinkled brow. The contorted features relaxed slightly, and Mir’s breathing began evening out again. “Sorry, I’ll stop talking about you-know-who,” he apologized, resting his head on the blankets, continuing to toy with the patient’s fingers.

“…I’ve never told anyone this, but with you – _for you­ –_ I can break the chain.” Dongwoon took a steadying breath, eyes focused on the limp movement of Mir’s hand. “I’ve always been the bystander, the extra. I was born in a foster home and then I was sent here. Before, I used to be thankful for such a boring upbringing. Other times, I would become jealous of people with extraordinary stories. There’s nothing special or meaningful that makes me shine above the others. I stuck out for the wrong reasons and I disappeared from sight for the wrong reasons.”

“There’s never really been an in between for me and I got angry so often because of it. I would pray for something to make me stand out, but it just never came. Why wouldn’t it come? Why wouldn’t the world throw me a chance to become something great? Those were the types of questions that ran through my head for a long time.”

He smiled hesitantly, eyelids lowering over the warm hand in his. “But then a year ago I walked into the Tech Shop and was greeted by a certain puppy-like boy. He was guarded but just so darn cute…I wanted to tackle him on sight. I didn’t of course. From there, I got to know the puppy and learned so many interesting things, sometimes sad and other times happy.”

“After a year, I realized why my prayers were never answered,” Dongwoon pressed another sweet kiss to the boy’s hand, “it’s because I’m everything you’re not. You’re everything I’m not. In this way, we end up making the perfect soul. That’s what the world is looking for right? Perfection…”

He shrugged a bit, chuckling lightly, “To me it makes sense. I hope it makes sense for you too, someday.” Dongwoon yawned, finding a comfortable place to rest his head. “I wonder how many times I’ll say these things to you who isn’t fully listening. I don’t mind though. It’s my own fault for being scared. If I weren’t so terrified of you running away, I would say these things somewhere beautiful where just the two of us would be. But when will that happen? I doubt it’ll happen.” He sighed, “I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Goodnight, Mir.”

 

Dongwoon’s soft snores danced around the air. Fair locks of hair fell across his handsome face, looking absolutely picture perfect to the awake boy.

“Goodnight, Dongwoon,” Mir answered quietly, smiling faintly. _I’m scared too…so don’t worry. I hear you…and I’ll wait to hear you say it again and again and again…_

 


	33. Chapter 33

Ryeowook woke up to a chill morning breeze and a sweet hand caressing his cheek. A smile naturally formed on his lips as he leaned into the touch. “Morning…,” he mumbled, slowly opening his eyes to see Kyuhyun leaning over him, “Kyu, why are you up?”

The standing boy was fully dressed, a backpack slung over one shoulder. “I’m taking a cab to the hospital. The school said I was allowed to go visit Donghae if I took along one of the administrators,” he explained, voice soothing like a story teller.

“Can I come too?” Ryeowook whined, trying to sit up, “I don’t want you going alone…,” he swayed unsteadily, apparently still dead tired.

Kyuhyun affectionately brushed his thumb across the sleepy one’s eyelid, encouraging him to sleep. “It’s fine,” he chuckled, “I want to see Donghae alone.” There was a slight quiver in his voice, but luckily Ryeowook was too out of it to notice. “I’ll be home late tonight.”

“Okay…,” the latter yawned, slumping forward against Kyuhyun’s hip.

He rolled his eyes, lips quirking up in a smile. Carefully, he pushed Ryeowook down and pulled the blanket back over him. Silently, he exited the room, locking the door behind him. The humor vanished from his face, replaced by a harder, colder expression – the sort of appearance most people associated with Cho Kyuhyun.

Just as he reached the bottom of the stairs, the front door burst open to reveal a worn and torn Sungmin. There was a starved sort of glint in the Stupid Bunny’s eyes, one that made him blind to the obvious boy standing in his path. Sungmin shoved Kyuhyun aside, making a beeline for the kitchen’s pantry.

“What the hell?” Kyuhyun muttered, shaking his head after only a second. There was no point in trying to figure out what was going on with the Stupid Bunny. Important matters waited for him once he got in that cab and came face to face with Donghae. A part of him wished Ryeowook had gotten up to come along, but then his pride kicked in.

Kyuhyun didn’t need someone to lean on. There was no way he was too weak to see his friend. Yeah. Ryeowook’s presence didn’t matter because Kyuhyun had always been the strong one in their relationship.

This time would be no different.

 

It took around an hour for Sungmin to pull himself together, but once he did, he headed straight for Ryeowook’s room. There were things to clear up, confess, and in general talk about. He knocked three times and waited for an answer.

In the meantime, he studied the gauze comforting his cut leg, immediately remembering what had happened only half a day ago in a certain basement.

Sungmin clenched his jaw, fingers tightening around the towel draped across his shoulders.

_6 Hours Ago…_

_“I really love you,” Minho had laughed, voice light and delightful._

_Sungmin froze, only mobilizing again after the thunder and lightning passed. The only words that dared to come out of his mouth were, “You…You what?”_

_The one who confessed appeared just as shocked though. He covered his mouth, eyes wide and blank._

_“You…you said you love me,” he said quietly, trying to rehydrate his dry throat, “is that true?” Sungmin prompted uncertainly, body suddenly awkward and gangly._

_Minho shook his head vigorously, colored face doing nothing to defend his position. “Ah, I mean, yes, I love you, but I also love Ryeowook, and Taemin too. I meant it as a brotherly thing,” he explained rapidly._

_“That’s all?” Sungmin asked skeptically._

_“Please,” he laughed shakily, “if I was in love with you why would I tell you in such a stupid way, especially knowing I’ve got no chance? I’m smarter than that, don’t you think, Sungmin?”_

_The one in question nodded ever so slowly. “I suppose so…”_

 

The rest of the night had slipped by without words and then the morning came. Sunlight broke through the makeshift plug that had previously protected them from the storm. After only a few minutes of blinking and half-awake consciousness, the door flew out from behind them.

Sungmin had scrambled up, wincing at the pain in his leg. There was a middle-aged man standing over them, looking rather confused and then angry when he saw the flooding damage of the basement. If it hadn’t been for Minho’s quick thinking, they probably would’ve been stuck there listening to the construction worker lecture them.

“Who is it?” Ryeowook called sleepily.

“Me!” Sungmin retorted indignantly, trying hard to sound offended.

There was a crashing noise on the other side of the door and he immediately regretted teasing his lover. Ryeowook fumbled with the knob, jerking it open hurriedly. The force pushed him back and the boy slid across the floor, groaning at the pain blooming in his lower back. “Sorry Minnie,” he mumbled, “Don’t be mad…”

“I’m not mad silly,” Sungmin crouched down, picking the boy up and carrying him back to bed. “Are you awake enough to talk?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “where were you yesterday? I was so worried. I tried calling you but none of the calls went through.” Ryeowook blinked a few times, gathering his bearings. Sadness lingered in his large eyes, lips trembling. “I was scared something happened to you and Minho. That storm was really bad and I didn’t know if you were trapped in it or something worse!”

Sungmin tilted his boyfriend’s face up, kissing his lips. “It’s okay now,” he stated, “we’re both healthy and alive for the most part. Minho is going to see Key today too so everyone will get everything settled and organized.”

“Oh…that’s good then,” Ryeowook smiled, letting sleepiness take him over again, “I’m still glad you’re safe Sungmin,” he sighed contently, arms draping around Sungmin’s abdomen, “I’m so happy…”

He desperately wanted to talk about what happened last night, but the chance was slipping away with each passing second.  

Soon enough, he found himself somehow trapped in a cuddle with Ryeowook as sleep found both of them that early morning. Sungmin frowned up at the ceiling, cursing whatever sick force out there made telling the truth ten times harder than it should’ve been.

Ryeowook threw a leg over one of Sungmin’s, snuggling closer. The latter muffled a sigh. There was no way he could say anything for a while. Hopefully Ryeowook would be in a good mood when the morning fog dispersed and reality came back.

 ***

Minho gave the taxi driver the university’s address. The car pulled away and he sighed, getting as comfortable as he could against the old cushions. Not even two minutes had passed before the calm was disrupted by his phone buzzing with messages.

The storm had finally passed and all of the calls that hadn’t gone through were going through now, sadly. Minho waited a good minute or so before checking the device, seeing three voice mails.

“You have three new messages. First message: _Hey Minho, it’s Ryeowook. We found Mir. He…He was hanging from the top of the bell tower. Dongwoon stopped him from jumping and he’s recovering in the infirmary now. Bye._ End of Message.”

“Next message: _It’s Dongwoon. Are you and Sungmin okay? Mir has been put on 72 Hour Suicide Watch. I hope you guys are safe. Thank you for helping me._ End of message.”

“Next message: _It’s Ryeowook again, I’m worried about you and Sungmin…but I know I can trust him with you. Please take care of yourselves and call me back when you get this message. Be careful and I love the two of you. I…I really can’t imagine life without all of you and Mir has shown me that…ah, anyway, sorry and goodnight!_ End of message.”

Minho took a deep, ragged breath, trying to absorb everything. He checked the time, deciding he could call Ryeowook when it wasn’t so early. The phone fell to his side as he ran fingers through his hair, eyes shut tightly. _What the fuck did you do Tae?_

 

“What’re you doing here?” Key smiled opening the door and hugging Minho happily. “You didn’t call, is there something wrong?”

Minho pushed his lover away gently, saying, “Sorry, I’m really dirty. Can I take a shower and then explain things?” He smiled sheepishly but once Key nodded his okay, Minho ran towards the bathroom.

Once inside, he practically collapsed against the countertop, exhausted and conflicted. He had held it together throughout the short taxi ride but there was no way he could keep it all inside any longer.

Just what had he _done_ last night? Why the hell had he let such a serious thing slip? Not to mention that while all of that was happening, the whole world was going to fucking hell. Minho considered banging his head against the sink, but then thought better of it. What if the bloodstains scared Key?

Sighing, Minho peeled his shirt off, tossing it in a corner of the bathroom. His pants went next, grime and rain water making them heavy and dark. There was a short moment of giddiness from being out of those ridiculously disgusting clothes, but then it passed and he turned on the bath water, letting it run until hot water replaced cold.

The shower whirred to life, spiraling beads of water down on chilled, dirt covered skin. Of all the things he could’ve said, why did he give such a lame excuse? _Oh I love you, but I also love Ryeowook and Taemin too. I meant it as a brotherly thing – my ass I meant it as a brotherly love thing._

He was tempted to punch the tile wall but restrained himself. Why the hell did he deny it so quickly? Wouldn’t that have been a good opportunity to clear the air? What could’ve happened if Sungmin knew how he felt?

Well, there were actually two possibilities, Minho had decided.

One, Sungmin would run for his life because there was no reason why he should give a damn about some low-life like Minho who fucks anyone and molested him at their first meeting.

Even he winced at the description. It was true…but it wasn’t true anymore. Then again, who would believe such a cliché statement? “Oh Sungmin! You changed me for the better! Now I’m not interested in sleeping with strangers and feeling up people at clubs!”

Minho shuddered. Yes, no one would take that seriously – even if it was the truth.

Or the other more optimistic option would be, Sungmin keeps his feelings in mind and someday realizes just maybe he had developed feelings for Minho as well.

That would certainly be a beautiful ending – unlikely, but beautiful nonetheless.

The water started feeling lukewarm. Minho grumbled, shutting the water off and stepping out of the bathtub. There was a rack of towels to one side, which he took the liberty of taking a fluffy white one from.

He finished drying off and tied it around his waist, heading out of the bathroom. Refreshing air washed over him and he shivered, smiling. It was one of his favorite parts of post-bath time. That sudden rush of air made it feel like entering a new world. But then the high would fade, and you would realize you’re still in the same world with the same people and problems.

“Hey sexy, what’re you doing here so early?”

Minho looked over to see Jonghyun chuckling and eyeing him with amusement. The younger boy frowned, “Stop checking out your roommate’s boy toy, bro.”

“Aw, you’re no fun,” he clicked his tongue, pushing off from the wall and walking back into his room, “You can borrow my clothes.”

“Thanks,” Minho grunted, following Jonghyun into the unfortunately familiar room. He really hated going in there. Yes, he should’ve hated Jonghyun too, but hey, when he wasn’t trying to ruin relationships and get into Sungmin’s pants, the guy was really cool.

“No problem,” he replied, tossing the kid a pair of jeans, boxers, and a t-shirt. “But really, what’re you doing here so early?”

“I just wanted to see Key.” He started changing, not exactly shy to the other man in the room. They weren’t hooking up, so there was nothing to be wary about.

If Minho had been watching, maybe he would’ve seen the slight rigidity enter Jonghyun’s movements, but he was too busy trying to pull the t-shirt over head.

“Do you guys have anything to eat?” he questioned, walking towards the kitchen.

Jonghyun trailed after him, saying, “Yeah, I think Key cooked some breakfast. Seriously, what the hell happened to you last night if you’re this needy?”

“A lot that I don’t want to talk about,” Minho responded, rolling his neck and shoulders, “oh and there’s something else I’m checking out today.”

“Hmm?” Jonghyun raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

They entered the kitchen and Minho smirked, “I knew he’d be here.”

Taemin was sitting at the table, eating some sort of scone with a glass of milk. His blonde hair was a fluffy mass, both eyes nearly closed. Minho came up behind him, patting his head. “Wake up and eat properly,” he said, shaking the boy a few times.

“Minho?” he mumbled, “What’re you doing here?”

“I should be asking you that. Why are you hiding out at Key’s place?”

Taemin rubbed his eyes, sighing and leaning away from his breakfast. “I don’t want to see Mir. He hurt me and I just can’t stand the idea of seeing—”

“—Mir was trying to kill himself.” It was a low blow, but he needed to smack some sense into the boy. What the hell was going on with Taemin? Minho always knew he was weak and dependent but this was taking selfish to a whole new level. There was a sense of satisfaction that rolled over him as he watched horror and realization flood the blonde’s face. “But you don’t want to see him,” Minho bit out, “so I guess it’s not your problem.”

“You’re lying…,” he muttered.

“ _What’s wrong with you?!_ ” Minho shouted, jerking on Taemin’s collar. “I love you more than anyone else and I want you to be the happiest you can be but I don’t even know what the hell you’re doing this time. Y’know what, Tae?” He shook the kid harshly, lip curling in anger. “Dongwoon deserves Mir a hell of a lot more than you do. Guess who fucking saved him, just _guess_. I can sure as _fuck_ , tell you that it was someone who actually loves Mir.”

Taemin tried to curl his hands into fists but they wouldn’t move. “I love Mir…,” he whispered weakly. _I know I do…I know I love him._

“Minho…,” Key trailed off, touching his lover’s arm.

“What’s for breakfast?” he asked briskly, shoving away and turning from Taemin’s frozen expression.

Key bit his lip, worry coursing through gaze. “Uhm, why don’t we go out to eat?”

“Sure,” Minho shrugged, taking Key’s hand and heading towards the door, “See you guys later.” The door slammed shut too quickly for anything else to be said.

Jonghyun peered reluctantly down at the silent teen.

Slowly, the boy shook his head, eyes unblinking. “He wouldn’t do that…he wouldn’t…”

 


	34. Chapter 34

Taemin stuffed his hands in his sweater pockets, trying hard to suppress the tears that wanted to spill. It wasn’t right for him to cry, right?

_“THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU!”_

He flinched, unable to stop Dongwoon’s scream from playing in his head. Why hadn’t Taemin tried harder?

_I’m sorry…_

_I’m really sorry. I’ll keep trying so don’t be sad._

Everyone had been working so hard for him. Mir was there for him, but why couldn’t he see it? What was wrong with him? Taemin chewed his lip, fighting off the tremors. It was so _wrong_. Mir shouldn’t have been apologizing like that.

If he had paid more attention, would he have noticed what sort of place Mir was in? Everything pointed towards something more serious but why hadn’t Taemin seen it? Why couldn’t he protect Mir like Dongwoon could?

_Tonight I could see it. They were the tops of buildings – the lights I mean. I was looking down at them._

Taemin slumped down on a bench, covering his face angrily. Was it really true? Could two broken people really not fix each other? Logic wasn’t supposed to have a place in love so why was it choosing to stick its head in now?

How come Dongwoon could see everything without even being there? Why couldn’t it be Taemin who saved Mir? Were they really a lost cause?

“Hey, are you crying?”

Taemin ignored the stranger.

“Do you need help?”

He glared up at the person, seeing exactly what he had been expecting. “Go away. I don’t need help.”

The teacher frowned, correcting his glasses and taking a seat beside Taemin. “I don’t really recognize you but I can’t just leave a crying girl here. Not everyone who goes to this school is friendly you know. Most would probably try to kidnap you or something. As a faculty member I can’t—”

“—I’m a boy and I’m not crying,” he interrupted.

“Oh, sorry,” the teacher said sheepishly, “your long hair fooled me. But now that we have a dialogue going, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?” He smiled, “It’s hard to believe but sometimes adults have more experience in life than teenagers.”

Taemin shot him a glare, standing up to leave. The last thing he needed was some freaky adult trying to give him life lessons.

“W-Wait, where are you going?” a hand caught Taemin’s wrist but then it slipped away. There was a crashing noise and the young boy whipped around, eyes wide. The teacher was sprawled on the ground, glasses rolling a few feet away.

He sighed, wiping his moist eyes and going to pick up the clumsy person’s spectacles. “Here,” Taemin offered the object to the adult, noting absently that he looked pretty young for a teacher.

“Thank you,” a blush reddened the man’s face and he awkwardly pushed the glasses back on, dusting his clothes off.

“Uh-huh,” Taemin mumbled, turning away to leave again.

“Wait, don’t go!” the man shouted, stumbling after him, “I really can’t stand seeing troubled kids. Are you sure you don’t need any help? I can get the school’s psychologist or do you want me to call someone to talk to you?”

“Would you _back off_?” he snapped, jerking away from the stranger. “I don’t want anyone’s help! Why do you think my problems are so easy to solve, huh? Do you even know what I’m going through?”

There was only a second’s pause before the man shook his head, eyes sparkling earnestly, “But if you tell me I can help you. I’m a teacher! We’re here solely to help students. If you’re troubled in some way, I want to help you somehow so you’ll be able to move on.”

Taemin made a face, shivering at the goody-two-shoes behavior. What sort of person spoke so honestly anymore? Where the hell did a drop out university find a teacher like him? It was probably an act. He studied the cluelessness in the adult’s eyes and could only feel a bit of disgust.

These were the types of people Taemin hated the most. Innocent people didn’t exist yet they acted as if they were just that, angels, purity, whatever you wanted to call it. Clean people would’ve been tainted after so much time on a polluted plane like their world.

“Hey, you haven’t said anything…how can I help you?” the teacher reached out but Taemin moved away, frowning

“You really wanna help me?” he whispered, licking his lips.

The man nodded vigorously. “Yes, yes I do!”  

Taemin smirked, slipping his fingers around the uptight tie circling the teacher’s collar. “Then _please_ , fuck me.”

Confusion clouded the older one’s face. Taemin looked around the deserted park, and then dragged their bodies together, free hand roaming down the expanse of a well toned backside. “You…wanna, don’t you?” he brushed a firm butt as he leaned his face into the teacher’s neck. “Haven’t you ever imagined…well, fucking a student? _C’mon…_ you’re still young. You must be so persistent because you wanna get in my pants, right?” Taemin bit down softly, waiting for an inevitable moan to fall from the not-so-innocent teacher’s purely speaking mouth.

Instead, he felt his body being shoved away with such force, there was a moment of sheer panic.

The teacher’s face was bright red, tears looking ready to fall from his eyes. Taemin blinked, bewildered by the reaction. “You can’t treat your body like that, y-young man!”

“Young man?” he repeated under his breath, cocking an eyebrow. How much older was the teacher than him? It looked like a few years at best.

“You still have a wide and wonderful future out there so you can’t waste it by playing these games with strangers! Most adults wouldn’t take your words as a joke! They would actually try to…t-to, well, yes!” He rigidly moved Taemin back to the benches, sitting him down. “N-Now, let’s talk about what’s really bothering you. Why would you make such an offer when you were obviously crying a few minutes ago?”

Taemin rolled his eyes at the nagging. Maybe this adult really was pure. Naw, that couldn’t be it. He rolled his neck, taking his time to answer the question. “…You really wanna know?”

“Yes.” The teacher’s face was starting to go back to normal.

“Fine,” he shrugged, figuring there was no way to get away from someone so obviously ditzy and persistent, “I just found out my ex-boyfriend tried to kill himself because he thought it would make me happy. Now I can’t even face him. Not to mention the person who stopped him from offing himself is currently beside him. I bet they’re already making plans for a fucking wedding. You happy now, mister? Does my angsty teenage shit make you feel like you’re so much wiser and better?” Taemin wanted to say more but then he was jerking back, heart beating wildly.

The man was bawling and sobbing, trying to wipe the tears away and only managing to knock his glasses to the ground where they went on to crack.

“A-Are you okay…?” Taemin questioned gingerly, standing up and pushing the teacher down on the bench beside him.

“I-I t-thought your c-cat had d-died or s-something,” he wailed, covering his face miserably, “I didn’t know it w-was s-something so s-serious!”

Taemin stiffly placed a hand on his shoulder, patting it awkwardly. “There, there…?” He worriedly looked around, afraid that other people might misunderstand what was going on – then again, what the hell was going on? “It’s okay, mister…,” he said lamely.

“No it isn’t!” he cried, shaking. “That boy could be the l-love of your l-life and n-now you’ll never know…how is that fair?!”

“Yeah…I guess it isn’t,” Taemin murmured, feeling the words sinking in for some reason. The guy was right. What if Mir was the only one who would ever love him? What if…What if he had thrown away everything at a moment of weakness?

“But now it’s too l-late…it’s over…,” he croaked.

Taemin gulped, body starting to grow cold. _It…it’s over…it’s over?_

“Onew? What are you doing with Taemin?” They both looked up to see Jonghyun jogging towards them, headphones around his neck and sweats covering his body. The university student stopped before them, one eyebrow lifting curiously. “And why are you crying again?”

“B-Because this boy has b-been hurt so m-much,” he sniffled, abruptly throwing his arms around Taemin’s slim frame.

The latter staggered, turning helpless eyes to Jonghyun and mouthing “Who is this?”

“Ah, Onew is a student teacher,” he explained, “he’s really passionate about teaching – if you haven’t already realized.” The blonde glowered at the teasing. Jonghyun laughed nervously before grabbing the man named Onew and pulling him off the suffocating pretty boy. “Hey, Onew, let’s get you cleaned up. Taemin is fine so you don’t have to cry for him.”

“B-But,” he blubbered, lips trembling.

“No, no,” Jonghyun assured, “it’s okay. He’s a strong boy. He’ll figure things out.” He glanced back at Taemin who was looking at him. “I’ll see you later then? There’s a massive rave tonight if you wanna go. Just don’t tell Key or Minho.”

“Rave?” Onew repeated, starting to calm down.

“Yeah, you wanna come, teach?” he grinned.

“Oh you crazy kids,” the student-teacher laughed softly, still trying to stop the sniffling, “I’m too old for that stuff.”

“Come off it,” Jonghyun rolled his eyes, slapping Onew on the back and sending the young man flying. He winced, hurrying to help Onew back up. “Sorry, I forgot you’re uncoordinated…and even less coordinated without your glasses or contacts.”

“It was an accident,” Onew sighed, peering back to smile shakily at Taemin, “I’m sorry for the trouble but hey, you stopped crying. That’s something right?”

Taemin managed a small “ah” but could think of nothing else to say. What sort of person…

 

********

 

Night fell soon enough and Minho and Key disappeared on an off-campus date. Taemin hooked his belt, tightening it accordingly before going to put on his shoes. So long as Key wasn’t around and Minho wasn’t around, then they couldn’t stop him from going partying.

Before, they would tag team and keep him “safe” which was all nice and sweet but man could it get annoying. Taemin was already a senior in high school. The last thing he needed was for two nosy people telling him the difference between right and wrong.

Furthermore, he had already come to his answer. That guy Onew was right. There was no more time. Whatever had existed between him and Mir was gone. They…they were over.

Taemin shook the thoughts away. It was a _good_ thing wasn’t it? Now there was nothing stopping him from doing what he pleased. He could stay out with whoever he wanted for however long he wanted. There had been so many restrictions when he was dating someone, but now it was all over!

_Be happy…right?_

“You ready, kiddo?” Jonghyun called, appearing in the doorway.

“Yeah,” Taemin replied, finishing the knot of his shoe and standing up.

The older boy smiled his approval, slinging an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “You’re not really as innocent as you look, I hope. Or else I’ll get hell for tainting you.”

“Trust me,” he chuckled, “I’m nowhere near innocent. It’s just the misleading face.”

“Well, if you say so,” Jonghyun muttered.

They crossed the campus, passing different, unfamiliar buildings along the way. The older boy pointed out one of the larger facilities and grinned, “That’s the fine arts building. You’re going to come here and major in dance, right?”

“How did you know I like to dance?” Taemin questioned, brow knitting.

“Key talks about you a lot,” he answered, “he really cares about you as far as I can tell. Whenever you come up he starts acting like a mom or something,” Jonghyun laughed.

The blonde eyed the older one for a long moment, trying to figure out why he was so bothered by the fond tone used when speaking about Key. Taemin slowly shrugged off the discomfort, figuring it was just intimacy of roommates. They were probably extremely close if they lived together.

“That student teacher, Onew,” Jonghyun began, “is a singing major and education major. He’s learning under the head of the Music department so we got to know one another well.”

“You like to sing, hyung?”

“Yeah, I really do,” he replied, and even in the darkness, it was obvious how sincere those words were. He didn’t even have to see Jonghyun’s face to know there was only honesty in those large eyes.

Taemin put his arm around the taller boy’s waist, “You’re really cool, hyung.”

“…are you sure you’re not going to be corrupted by going to this party?” Jonghyun prompted anxiously.

“No,” he retorted, pouting at uncertainty.

After some minutes of walking, Taemin caught the heavy bass of amps and techno. His eyes narrowed in the dark night, trying to locate the source. Jonghyun indicated a blurry, spastic light in the distance.

They strode up to the shadowy entrance, and were quickly admitted. Taemin surveyed the area, smiling a bit. It was really similar to KUG, except noisier somehow, and less clean. He shook off the disdain and pulled Jonghyun into the pit of dancing bodies.

It was all very safe, very relaxed. That’s why he wasn’t sure what happened. There were just so many lights, and laughter, screaming, liquid…and at some point, Jonghyun had drifted away. That wasn’t exactly a problem. Or it shouldn’t have been a problem.

Taemin knew what clubbing and raves were like. Hell, it was practically his life a couple of years ago. So what was making this situation any different?

There was a lot of giggling disturbing his mind and he closed his eyes, one hand curling in his hair. Why was everything spinning? Taemin leaned against a sticky wall, touching his sweaty neck.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” he mumbled inaudibly, turning around to see who was grabbing his waist.

“I _said_ , what’s wrong, babe?” the person laughed throatily, shoving Taemin back against the grossly moist wall.

He struggled against the restraining arms, heart beating rapidly and breaths coming out more as pants. “Get away from me!” he felt like the words were loud, but apparently they weren’t.

“Why?” the captor asked, “You’re the one who was grinding all over me a few minutes ago.” He shoved one leg between the blonde’s, forcing their bodies together to create a far too rough friction.

Taemin ground his teeth, still trying to get a bearing on what was going on. When had he touched an oaf like that? “I never danced with you!” he insisted, breathing hard from the recycle air and mixed scents. “Get your big, fat, fucking hands off of me!”

“You little bitch!” the person slurred, slamming his beefy palm into Taemin’s cheek.

The boy skidded across the ground, coughing and gasping for air that wasn’t there. Why was this happening to him? He closed his eyes, still unable to ascertain the predicament. There was only a second of peace though.

“Let’s go have some fun,” the deep voice grunted, “I’ve been waiting to fuck your tight ass all night.”

“Stop touching me!” Taemin yelled, thrashing around. The struggles only resulted in a heavy fist to his stomach and his gag reflex waking up.

The walk into who knows where felt like forever and by the time the smell of the rave was gone, it was already too late to stop what was happening. Taemin felt himself crash into the cold outside concrete. A bright orange light blinded him as any number of hands started tearing at his clothes.

 _What’s going on?_               

He swallowed, covering his eyes against the artificial brilliance. Suddenly, he jolted and screamed out loud. All the nerves in his body felt on fire reacting simultaneously to the touch of someone’s tongue – whose, he wasn’t sure.

“Damn, took long enough for it to kick in,” someone laughed. There were other voices too, none of them even slightly familiar.

Taemin tried to back away from the rough fingers but they just dragged him back down.

 _Why are they doing this?_ He wanted to voice the words but it felt like the world had stopped listening. There was no one around, no one that wanted to hear him anymore.

_If Mir were here…he would protect me. You would protect me, right Mir? You love me so you would save me._

“Is he crying?” one of the people snorted.

_When the world stops listening you’ll keep listening because we’re in love, isn’t that right? Are you listening to me, Mir? You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a safe place…you’ll save me…_

“Whatever. Just cover his face,” another figure said brusquely.

_You won’t save me because I didn’t save you? Am I not worth it Mir? I’m sorry…_

“I’m sorry,” Taemin whispered, breaking the weak sobs and tremors, “I’m sorry Mir…please don’t hate me…”

“Who the fuck is Mir?” the person muttered, looking at the crying boy.

Taemin gasped harshly, tears dribbling down his sweat soaked face, “Please Mir…don’t let this happen,” he begged brokenly, “I love you so p-please come save me…I p-promise…I promise I’ll be better…”

 


	35. Chapter 35

Birds chirped loudly beyond the glass window. Dongwoon flinched at light hitting his eyelids. With a soft groan, he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and stretching. A yawn bubbled up from his throat, groggy and unaware.

“You’re here?”

Dongwoon jerked up, relief and disbelief flooding his tired, achy body. “Mir?” he croaked, feeling abruptly lame as he watched the lovely boy sitting up in bed. Morning rays illuminated his face, taking away the sickly green hue and replacing it with pure white and faint shadows. There was a subdued liveliness in his eyes, and a strained ghostly smile on his pale lips.

Yet there was still something so absolutely breathtaking.

“Hmm?” Mir mumbled closing his eyes and tumbling back onto the pillow.

Panic shot through the visitor’s heart and he leaned over Mir, running his hand across the ashen features. “Are you okay?” he asked urgently, “do you need anything? Should I get the doctor? Are you thirsty?” Dongwoon frowned when he saw the drowsy boy chuckle. “This isn’t a laughing matter.” The sternness quickly faded though, as he joined in the quiet laughter, “…but it’s nice to hear your voice.”

“Mmhmm,” he murmured, rolling his head so he faced Dongwoon. Slowly, those precious pupils showed themselves again, “What happened yesterday?”

Dongwoon shook his head, “It’s over now. I promise it’s over.”

“You always take care of me,” he whispered, “You’re my best friend, I think.” Mir bit his bottom lip, tears liquefying his puppy dog eyes.

The chestnut haired boy pressed his thumb against the strained lip, forcing Mir to stop biting. “Even gnawing on lips is making me nervous,” he explained exasperatedly, “you really scared us, Mir…”

“This is the last time,” he promised softly, “I won’t do it again. I won’t do it again…I—”

“ _Mir?!_ ”

They turned their attention to the noisily opened door to see a flustered, disheveled Joon stumbling in. His eyes were frantically searching the doctor’s office until they finally found Dongwoon and then Mir.

“Oh thank god,” he collapsed against the edge of the bed, head bowed, “I got a call two days ago saying you had been put under suicide watch and I couldn’t do anything until the storm let up. I drove all night and all day to get here and I swear I was about to go crazy from worry,” he rambled into the blankets, words half muffled.

Dr. Choi stepped out of his office then, looking rather irritable. “Now that Mir’s legal guardian is here, I’d like to kindly ask that you go home and rest up properly Dongwoon.”

“Guardian?” Dongwoon repeated, reluctantly standing up to leave.

Joon smiled sheepishly, straightening his posture. “It was a whole mess last night to prevent Mir from getting his social worker involved,” he said, “I meant to tell you, Mir.”

“It’s okay,” the boy sighed, pulling the blankets higher up around his face.

“I’ll be going then,” Dongwoon trailed off, stubbornly unmoving. He even had the nerve to reach out for Mir’s fingers which peeked out from between the covers.

The latter peered up, extending his hand towards Dongwoon. “Dongwoon?” he questioned.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said smiling slightly, “recover fast.”

Mir flashed a tired, toothy grin, “Yeah…I will.”

Joon followed Dongwoon out the door, stopping the younger male halfway down the hall and out of earshot of the infirmary.

“What’s up, hyung?” he asked.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Joon’s words flooded out, drenched with sincerity and misery all at the same time. He squeezed the young boy’s shoulder, eyes shining with immeasurable gratitude. “I don’t know…I don’t know what I would’ve done if he really…yes.”

Dongwoon shivered at the thought, and quickly offered up a comforting smile. “Don’t worry hyung. Mir is fine now and I’ll make sure of it from now on.” He noted the surprise on Joon’s face. “A while ago you told me that Taemin wasn’t good for Mir. Well, I finally understand. I won’t let Mir go anymore.”

Joon stifled a laugh, hand sliding off the youth’s shoulder. “How can you say such embarrassing things with a straight face?” His was approving nonetheless, arms crossing loosely over chest. “Does Mir know about your plans?”

“No, but I’ll be telling him when he’s released from the Watch,” he affirmed, “and it’s not embarrassing, hyung. I always talk like this.” He blinked a few times, confused by Joon’s flush. “Is there something wrong with expressing myself colorfully?”

“No, no,” he said quickly, unable to help a teasing grin, “it’s much better than someone who doesn’t tell Mir those gushy things.”

 

Dongwoon nearly danced down the road, humming to himself. It was dorky, and surely a bit more than over the top but he couldn’t help himself. There were endless possibilities with the coming day.

The first order of business was talking to Kikwang. It was time to give that up. Dongwoon would admit he loved spending time with the other boy, but loving someone and loving the times you’re together are two completely different things.

If he were to choose, it would be Mir always and forever. There was no one else he would spend eternity with – not that they would live for an eternity, but the romantic sentiment was the important part. Now there was a chance for them. All Dongwoon had to do was break things off with Kikwang and then both of them would be free.

**Me: Hey, can we meet up?**

**Kikwang: Sure! Where are you?**

**Me: Let’s meet at the Tech Shop**

**Kikwang: Okay, I’ll be there in 2 minutes!**

Dongwoon put his phone back in pocket, jogging towards the Tech Shop. There was no real meaning behind the location. It was just conveniently close and quiet. No one else went in there except for the Tech Crew and most of them were away on trips or just, away.

That’s why it would be a perfect place to break things off. If Kikwang got emotional then no one would be around to see and Dongwoon wouldn’t be accused of heartlessness. See? He was protecting the other boy’s feelings rather kindly.

A moment after Dongwoon entered the Tech Shop, so did Kikwang. He allowed the latter to kiss his lips before pushing him away. There was so much adrenaline pumping through Dongwoon’s veins that he couldn’t help the giddiness that entered his voice when he said, “Let’s break up.”

Kikwang’s face fell.

“This is a good thing,” Dongwoon stated, gently rubbing the crestfallen boy’s arms, “you’re free. You can do whatever you like with whoever you like. There’s still so much left to our senior year and it’s just not right for you to waste it on someone who’s as half-assed as me. I can’t give you utter devotion so I’m not worth it, Kikwang.”

“You…do you hear yourself?”

Only then did Dongwoon realized how absolutely stuck his face was in a smile. He released the other person, trying to cover his awkwardly revealing grin. This was a serious conversation. Why was he unable to stop smiling?

Oh right, because Mir was single.

Now the damn smile really wouldn’t go away. Dongwoon wasn’t the only one to notice though. His boyfriend was watching him through saucer-like eyes, disbelief carving his features. “You suck at lying,” he stated softly, “you seriously _suck_ at lying… Why are you breaking up with me?”

“Because I already told you,” he answered, hoping the roundabout words would be sufficient. They weren’t.

Kikwang crossed his arms. “Hell no,” he snapped, “we’ve been perfectly happy! What did I do? Is it something I told you? Are you upset because I’m not good enough in bed?”

Dongwoon blushed, and shook his head in surrender. “N-No nothing like that!” he assured. “You’re fine in bed and you didn’t say anything and you didn’t do anything either…it’s just…well, I mean, Mir is single again—”

“—you’ve been using me?”

He flinched at the word choice. _Using_ was a really strong verb. Had he really been using Kikwang? No, of course not…some part of Dongwoon had surely fallen for the boy, but that flimsy sort of attraction couldn’t hold its own against the way he felt for Mir. They were on completely different levels.

Kikwang shook his head, jaw slackening, “No…I don’t believe you.”

Dongwoon wanted to say that technically he hadn’t said anything yet, but there was no chance.

“We’re not breaking up.”

“H-Huh?” he staggered, losing his balance for a moment.

“You heard me,” Kikwang shrugged, “did you expect me to just let you go?”

“Well…I didn’t really think it was up for debate?” Dongwoon said carefully.

The other male stepped forward, running his hand across the tall boy’s cheek. “It took two people to start this, it’ll take two people to end it. You’re not allowed to just throw me away once you don’t need me, _Woonie_.”

“Kikwang…,” he tried to say more, but again, he was cut off by a finger to his lips.

“I’ll make you fall in love with me,” he ground out, removing his hand and kissing the dumbfounded boy, “for real, before I’ll even consider breaking up with you. Got that?” He made Dongwoon lower and lift his head once, smiling at the complete picture of confusion. “Good boy. Then I’ll call you later. ” He sauntered past, not once looking back to see what Dongwoon thought of the declaration.

***

Mir felt a warm hand around his and smiled. “You’re back already…?” he mumbled, slowly opening his eyes, “Dong…”

“No…not him.” Taemin breathed, standing over the stunned boy. His face was contorted in despair as he kneeled down beside Mir’s bed.

“T…Taemin?” he sat up, eyes following every line of the miserable person. It felt like it wasn’t real. There was no way it was real. Why would he show his face? Mir tried to shake away the phantom but it wouldn’t disappear, not even a little bit.

Mir looked over to see the doctor’s personal office light on but Joon was nowhere to be found. Wasn’t he supposed to be watching over him when the doctor wasn’t?

There was a slight squeezing pressure around his hand and he turned his attention back to the apparently real Taemin.

Sad, dark eyes peered back at Mir. “…Please take me back.”

 


	36. Chapter 36

_“Please save me Mir…,” Taemin cried, revolted by the disgusting people touching his body._

_There was a devastating banging noise and his breath hitched, eyes bursting open. He sat up, supporting his shaking body with equally shaky arms._

_“I told you that not everyone here is nice!” Onew shouted, dropping the metal pole and crouching down, offering a hand to Taemin. “If Jonghyun hadn’t spoken about this place, no one could’ve come to save you.”_

_Taemin still couldn’t speak, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly. This wasn’t his knight-in-shining-armor. This wasn’t his Mir. But he had been begging to be saved maybe Mir had sent this angel? Since he couldn’t come save him personally, he must’ve sent this odd teacher. Yes, that had to be it. Mir was protecting him no matter what happened._

_“It’s okay now Taemin,” Onew smiled, waving his outstretched hand, “come on, get up! I seriously didn’t hit those guys very hard.” He glanced nervously at the groaning and moaning college students._

_“I – I can’t,” he stammered trying to indicate his quivering body, “I can’t stand up…”_

_There was a second’s quiet before Onew started laughing and then turned around, “Okay, hop on, I’ll carry you.”_

_Taemin tentatively reached out, immediately feeling the cold being devoured by warmth. His legs hooked around the man’s waist, chest pressing against backside. “Why did you come?” he asked as they began moving away from the deserted alley._

_Bright silver stars twinkled overhead, accompanied by the glowing crescent in the sky and a mind-cleansing spring breeze. Taemin sighed, resting his forehead against the teacher’s shoulder._

_“Did someone slip something into your drink?” Onew inquired after a minute of silence._

_“Yeah…I think so,” he muttered, the night air slowly making the ringing and fogginess fade, “I didn’t know what was going on. They just wouldn’t stop.”_

_“That’s what college kids are like,” the older male sighed, “they’re all just trying to get some and in the process they start making poor decisions. It’s a good thing that they didn’t do anything to you tonight though. I’m sure they wouldn’t be able to face themselves in the future.”_

_Taemin frowned, slightly irritated by the lecture. “Just how wise are you?” he grunted sarcastically, “You’re still pretty young, mister. And why do people call you Onew? That’s a stupid name.”_

_“It’s a nickname,” he answered cheerily, ignoring the sarcastic remarks, “I feel like I can build a stronger bond with students when they don’t feel obligated to use honorifics.”_

_“Then what’s your real name?” Taemin questioned mildly, a dull pounding in the forefront of his head._

_“Jinki,” Onew answered, “but you can call me Onew, too. I really don’t like my real name these days. It feels very stiff.”_

_“You’re stiff,” the boy commented, “you’re so uptight. Is that real or are you just being a goody-goody to impress the other teachers? You’re really clumsy too and I bet you aren’t respected very much. Am I right?”_

_Onew just laughed and adjusted the boy lying on his back. “You’re right, I am clumsy,” he replied, “and I guess the faculty really doesn’t respect me…but the students trust me and that’s what teachers should aim for. I’m only a goody-goody, as you put it, when it comes to my students though.”_

_“Does that mean you’re a badass outside of school?” Taemin chuckled, snuggling closer to the man’s warm body_

_“…no…,” he mumbled sheepishly, “I guess I’m not…ah, more importantly, you were saying the name ‘Mir’ before I hit those boys. Who is that?”_

_He opened his eyes carefully, arms tightening the tiniest bit around the man’s shoulders. “My ex…he sent me you. He told you to save me because he couldn’t come…I’m sure of it.”_

_Onew nodded dumbly, “Well, that might just be it! Earlier I told you that it was over between you two, but maybe I was being a bit rash.”_

_“You think?” Taemin asked with honest wonder in his voice._

_“Yeah, I think so,” he confirmed, “because love never stops. Even when you find someone you love more, that old love will always exist. It’s just like when you say you’re falling in love. You can’t fall out of love. That doesn’t make much sense. It’s more like…you start falling at a different rate and you start falling with someone else but in the distance you can always see that old love falling too.”_

_The blonde grumbled, “I’m confused.”_

_“Bottom line,” Onew chuckled, “there’s always going to be love between you and this Mir boy. If you don’t want to give up, then don’t give up. You won’t get anywhere and if you’re already broken, then there’s nothing to lose from trying to get him back.”_

_“…Maybe you are wise, mister,” he cracked a faint smile, drifting to sleep._

Taemin gulped the fear down for a second time, squeezing Mir’s hand hopefully. If Onew was right, then there was nothing he could lose from begging. They were already at rock bottom and this was the last – only – thing he could do.

“I’m sorry for not being there. I’m so sorry for everything I did and didn’t do,” he whispered, unable to lift his voice, “I want you back. I really, really want you back Mir. ”

He felt time moving slower than slow as he waited for the only person he had ever loved to answer him. There was no shame in admitting it fully. Mir was the first one to reach out to him and that would never change.

“Taemin,” he finally spoke.

The kneeling boy’s breath hitched.

Mir slowly leaned down, watching those pretty eyes rise with that equally lovely face.

Their lips touched as light as a butterfly’s batting wings or a spring’s breeze or a feather’s kiss. But with a beauty like that came something equally ugly – a butterfly’s final struggle to fly on, an unknown renewal with the lukewarm winds, and finally the collapse of an angel’s wings.

“I can’t take you back Taemin.”

 


	37. Chapter 37

Ryeowook giggled, eyes shining as he stared at his stuttering mess of a boyfriend. “I’m not upset Minnie. I don’t really understand why you’re getting so flustered but it’s cute,” he remarked, reaching across the short distance to hold the other boy’s hand.

“I’m not sure,” Sungmin whined, dropping his head carelessly, “I just don’t want to endanger our relationship. Even if nothing happened between Minho and I last night I felt guilty for some reason.”

“You really care about us,” the brown haired boy grinned, advancing to kiss the top of his lover’s head, “that’s a good thing, right?”

“Or maybe I’m insecure about my own loyalty to you?” he mumbled.

Ryeowook laced their fingers together sweetly, “There’s nothing to worry about. Love is love without any need for complicated feelings. The people who make complicated feelings obviously aren’t in love.”

“Ah…,” Sungmin cracked a tiny smile, tilting his face and closing his eyes as their lips met in a slow, tenderly moving kiss. Their clasped hands fell between their bodies, pressing into the soft mattress. “You’ve gotten really good at talking, Wookie,” he snickered, “being president sure has helped you out, huh?”

“Inspirational speeches are my forte,” Ryeowook grinned, allowing himself to be pushed back as the dark haired boy climbed on top of him.

Sungmin found the other hand, entwining their fingers and sliding both sets of locked digits towards either side of his lover’s face. “I can see that.” He found a spot on Ryeowook’s neck, biting and sucking.

“M-Minnie?” he panted, flinching and turning his head away.

“Thanks,” Sungmin mumbled happily, gaining more access to his boyfriend’s throat, “this makes things a lot easier.”

Ryeowook blushed, eyes closing briefly as he tried to gather himself enough to stop the intimacy. There were important things to do, like checking up on Mir, going to eat breakfast, meeting with his composition teacher, and don’t even mention StudGov stuff. The Annual Senior Trip still had to be planned and booked!

Abruptly, the urgency of everything crashed down on him, and any mild fantasies of playing around more vanished. He wriggled underneath Sungmin, panic entering his voice as he said, “There’s so much we have to do! There’s no time for this!”

“What?” Sungmin cocked an eyebrow, pushing away to get a better look at his hysterical boyfriend.

“Get off, Minnie!” Ryeowook exclaimed, effectively pushing the other boy off during a moment of shock. He scrambled up and ran towards his closet, then the dorm room door. “I need to take a shower first…and then call up the others…oh, goodness,” he muttered to himself, apparently headed off to shower.

The black haired beauty just watched, not quite sure what had just happened. He considered joining in on the bath but thought better of it. Who knew how serious Ryeowook was actually being about getting stuff done for the day.

Sungmin flopped onto his stomach, checking the time. _10:30 A.M._

He sighed, muttering in annoyance under his breath. For a long moment he just laid there, absorbing nothing and despising nothing. It was a rare break from the rush of life that normally dared to run rampant and crush him. Sungmin allowed his body to relax fully, eyes fluttering closed. So long as everything remained at a calm state, he could have peace. Even if it wouldn’t last, he would cherish the minutes.

***

Dongwoon picked up his phone, smiling and answering, “Hey pres, what’s up?”

“We’re having a meeting during lunch so meet in the board room around eleven-thirty or twelve o’clock,” Ryeowook replied promptly, “See you then.” The line cut.

“What was that?” Dongwoon mumbled, eyeing the phone curiously before tucking it back in his pocket and continuing down the hallway towards the infirmary.

Right as he slid the door open, he came face to face with a walking, rosy cheeked Mir. His skin was pale but healthy and his eyes glowed with newfound life. There was a small, tentative smile on his lips that just made Dongwoon weak in the knees.

He grinned, opening his mouth to greet Mir. Before he could though, Kikwang appeared slinging his arms around the freshly released patient. “Oh, you’re here, Woonie?” he questioned, giggling and sweetly kissing the side of Mir’s head.

 The latter squirmed, eyes falling to the floor as a flush erupted on his already scarlet cheeks, “Don’t do that, Kikwang,” he muttered awkwardly.

“Yeah, don’t do that,” Dongwoon smiled, grabbing his lover’s arm and jerking him off of Mir, “It’s not good to flirt in front of your boyfriend like that.”

Kikwang smirked at the obvious jealousy, wrapping his arms around Dongwoon’s neck and pulling him down so their lips would meet. The taller boy pushed away after several seconds, having momentarily forgotten about Mir’s presence while that tongue was shoved down his throat.

“You’re green for the wrong person,” Kikwang chuckled, “I’ll see you later.” He ran his thumb across Dongwoon’s bottom lip before walking off – confident as could be.

Dongwoon watched his boyfriend disappear through the Main Building’s front doors before whipping around to see Mir standing rigidly in place.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled uncomfortably, not positive what he _should_ say to make Mir feel better. Just a day or so ago he, Dongwoon, had been vowing to stay by him for, well, ever. Then the next day he shows up still dating Kikwang? Where was the logic? “Are you…feeling better?” the question sounded so incredibly lame, Dongwoon had to hold himself back from groaning in aggravation.

Mir nodded, “T-Thank you for everything. You really helped me.”

“You don’t have to force yourself to be okay,” he urged, extending a hand.

“I-I’m not,” the other boy stuttered, still looking at the floor, “b-but I did want to tell you something.”

“Hm?” Dongwoon murmured, stepping closer and stroking the slender one’s arms. They felt so weak under his touch that all he wanted to do was pull him close so the world would back the fuck off.

Mir absently shuffled forward, fingers playing with the hem of Dongwoon’s shirt. “Taemin wants to get back with me,” he whispered in a rush, saying it quickly so as to keep the now stiff boy from lashing out, “but I told him we can’t be together anymore. I…I get it now. Joon-hyung and I talked a lot and he explained to me that some people just shouldn’t be together…”

“R-Really?” Dongwoon cleared his throat, trying to hide the quiver. His heart was beating painfully fast, warning him of something hopefully good. Their bodies swayed and leaned until there was a bubble of heat between them.

“Yeah,” Mir loosened his hold on the other boy, starting to push away, “I think I love you.”

Dongwoon’s knees turned to jelly and if it weren’t for the tight grip he had on Mir, he would’ve collapsed right there. It was impossible. There was no possible way Mir had just confessed something…something so unreachable. Dongwoon opened his mouth to ask if it was a joke, but the slender boy kept talking.

“I just wanted to say that because I know you and Kikwang are really happy but I don’t want to make the same mistake and stay quiet about my true feelings.” He smiled, finally lifting his face to meet Dongwoon’s eyes. “Taemin and I misunderstood each other for so long when all I should’ve done was tell him truthfully that I loved him. I…,” he tried to move away from the stunned to silence boy but the grip on his arms was too strong, “I just wanted you to know.”

Dongwoon jerked Mir forward their chests flush to one another now. “ _I love you, Mir_!” he shouted as his face burst with color. He shook it off, getting close to the wide eyed boy’s face. “I’ve felt this way for _so long_ so don’t tell me to be happy with someone else!”

“T-Then what was that just now?” Mir questioned awkwardly, head tilting.

 _Why isn’t he more flustered?_ He sighed in disappointment at the failure of a confession. “Kikwang wouldn’t agree to breaking up but I want you,” Dongwoon would slap himself later for being so embarrassing, “…so much that I can’t even compare it to something else.”

Mir struggled in the embrace, breaking free when Dongwoon loosened his hold out of fear of hurting him. “You’re dating Kikwang n-no matter what the s-situation,” he gulped now turning slightly pink, “so you have to—”

“You _just_ said you love me!” Dongwoon cut in, raking fingers through his hair. “And we can be together! Why are you fighting this so much?!”

“B-Because you’re taken…,” he shrugged, slowly walking towards the door, “I won’t interfere with that. I’ve seen how much it hurt Taemin to s-see the two of us so close. K-Kikwang probably feels the same way.”

Dongwoon couldn’t decide whether he loved the boy all the more for his attitude or if he just wanted to strangle him for not accepting the possibilities. So he settled on, “I love you, Mir.”

“I love you too,” he replied softly, still walking away.

“I love you like I’ll never love anyone else,” he said once more, gazing at that slight backside, wanting to run after him and hold him close – which was a commonly considered thought.

“Yeah, I love that about you,” Mir smiled faintly, too afraid to turn back.

The words reached him nonetheless, but it only made the heartache worse. _So close…_

***

Ryeowook sat down in his dorm room, clothes and hair fluttering in the sweetly scented night breeze. There was a checklist in front of him:

 

  * Submitting “Memories in Breeze”
  * Organizing the Senior Trip
  * Talk to Mir (he seems a lot better!)
  * Cheer up Kyu



 

He glanced at his phone, playing with the screen for a moment before unlocking it and scrolling to his voice mail box. There was one message that had been played over and over again – that was the one Ryeowook clicked on. He brought it to his ear, listening to the words for the nth time, unsure what exactly he should be feeling.

A few minutes passed and the door opened, followed by a loud thud. Ryeowook whipped around, getting to his feet just in time to catch a shaking, messy Kyuhyun.

“I don’t know,” the dark haired boy gasped sharply, burying his face in the confused one’s shoulder, arms closing around Ryeowook firmly, “I don’t know what to do for him! I see him every chance I can but I know he’ll never be on that field again.” He choked on a sob before letting out an enraged growl, “And it’s not even me! Why the hell am I crying?! I shouldn’t be crying…”

“Kyuhyun…,” Ryeowook gently patted the torn and broken boy on his back, “you don’t have to worry. Your best friend’s pain becomes your own pain,” he said softly, eyes far away, “you…are allowed to cry for him. You’re allowed to be broken with him.”

“I’m stronger than this,” he whispered hoarsely, arms dropping to Ryeowook’s waist, capturing the boy in a loose embrace, “I’m hell of a lot stronger than this, Ryeowook. You know that, don’t you?” Kyuhyun carelessly kissed the side of the smaller one’s neck, eyes falling closed as more tremors violated his body.

Ryeowook returned the touch, placing a gentle kiss to Kyuhyun’s collarbone. “Be strong for Donghae,” he leaned into Kyuhyun as if it were the most natural thing in the world, “and I’ll be strong for you. So don’t worry…you can be everything you’re not with me…I’ll take care of it all.”

“You’re lying,” he croaked coldly, “you can’t be anything to me.” Kyuhyun sighed, letting him go uneasily.

Ryeowook snatched Kyuhyun’s wrist, stopping him from walking away. The latter turned, red eyes narrowed yet vulnerable. This was really the end? Was this the way everything was going to turn out for them? Ryeowook only hesitated for another second, but then Kyuhyun was attempting to pull away and that was the final push.

Exhaling slowly, Ryeowook wove his fingers through those soft, dark locks and pulled Kyuhyun’s face down, their lips crashing together fervently. He squeezed his eyes shut, relaxing suddenly when the kiss was returned and familiarly strong arms forced them together.

Ryeowook slipped away just enough to meet surprised brown eyes. Their breaths were slightly uneven and their shoulders rose and fell from the sheer physical exertion. “I can,” Ryeowook panted, kissing Kyuhyun again, “…You can have me, Kyu.”

“Sungmin?” he whispered, eyes flitting away.

“I already said it,” Ryeowook responded, “I’ll be everything for you.”

Kyuhyun nodded slightly, “Kiss me, Ryeowook?”

And he did.

 


	38. Chapter 38

There couldn’t have been an uglier day. The sky was overcast and the wind was dead. Floral fragrances weren’t travelling through the air and so the late afternoon was nothing more than another depressing scene.

Sungmin couldn’t even understand why he was wandering around on such a pathetic day. There were other places he could’ve been, like maybe in his dorm room with Ryeowook. They could watch a movie on the laptop, or they could cuddle and talk about whatever. Or, Mir could join them and the trio could play a card game, maybe even reminisce about high school.

So why was he walking around alone outside?

It just felt like one of those moody days – the kind where all you want to do is write sad poetry and relish in the liberal or fine arts. Sungmin stopped, breathing in deeply and catching a slightly nostalgic scent.

He closed his eyes briefly, smiling and turning towards the smell. A snicker brought Sungmin back to the present and he stumbled back, flushing at the sight of Minho staring at him.

The handsome boy was muffling his laughs, arms crossed over chest. “What are you doing out here all alone?”

“I don’t know actually,” Sungmin replied seriously.

Minho stopped laughing, eyes sobering, “What’s going on?”

“Like I said,” he huffed in annoyance, kicking a pebble distractedly, “I don’t know.”

“Is it—?”

“—Sungmin!” Ryeowook’s voice sliced through the afternoon.

They turned around, seeing their friend running towards them. Ryeowook practically jumped on Sungmin, spinning around in the black haired boy’s arms. Minho chuckled, discreetly leaving the scene. It was never nice to disrupt a happy couple, even if you were in love with one half of that cute couple.

Sungmin smiled brightly, capturing his lover’s lips in a kiss. “Where have you been all day? I was bored without you…,” he mumbled.

“I wish I could’ve been with you earlier,” Ryeowook replied, “I really, really wish that.”

“Huh?” There was something strange about his tone. Sungmin considered brushing off the suspicions as him being moody, but then he caught Ryeowook’s eye and he knew it was more serious than being cute. “…Wookie?”

“Hey, hey, can we go for a walk?”

Sungmin hesitated, but then nodded, taking Ryeowook’s offered hand. Their fingers entwined out of habit and the overzealous boy led the way.

The campus grew more barren as they travelled into the park. It appeared that no one wanted to walk around outside on such a dreary day. Sungmin couldn’t blame them. Hell, he _still_ didn’t know why he wanted to be outdoors. There wasn’t even much fresh air since everything was stagnant.

“How was your day?” Ryeowook asked.

“I guess it was normal,” he answered, “what about you? Did you miss me?”

The boy giggled with that same odd tone, “I miss you, Sungmin…I miss you a lot, actually.”

“Why are you using present tense?” he mumbled, pulling Ryeowook to a stop, the dread and anxiety getting the better of him. “What’s going on?”

Ryeowook’s smile faltered and he tried to nudge Sungmin to keep walking with him. “Can we go for a while longer? Please?” a hint of begging entered his voice, but it wasn’t working.

He shook his head, cupping Ryeowook’s face in his hands. “What are you talking about? Tell me why you’re acting so strange.”

“…I-I can’t be with you,” he admitted quietly.

Sungmin’s lips parted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Please break up with me?” Ryeowook whimpered, eyes strained and wet.

“But…but I don’t know what’s going on,” he ran his fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, moving down to caress the nape of his neck, “why are you talking about breaking up?” Sungmin blinked several times, seeming to not realize what was happening. For him, that moment was far too surreal to even comprehend. It was like the aftermath of a dream, where you wonder whether or not everything is happening.

Ryeowook bit his bottom lip, refusing to say anything else.

“You won’t tell me?” Sungmin mumbled, large eyes slowly filling with hurt. “You want to break my heart without telling me why…?”

There was a small nod and then silent tears were falling down Ryeowook’s face.

Sungmin gently brushed his lips against one of the boy’s cheeks. “Is it because you don’t love me anymore?” he whispered, voice cracking.

This time, no response came.

“Yesterday, you said complicating love means there was never any love,” he said almost inaudibly, “so does that mean you just never loved me, Ryeowook?”

“That’s not it!” he exclaimed, breaking into sobs and jerking away from Sungmin. “I do love you, please just break up with me! I…I need to be with someone else so just say we’re over,” his voice failed at the end.

Sungmin suddenly clenched his fists, eyes hardening. “This is about Kyuhyun, isn’t it?” There was no answer. He glared bitterly at the crying boy. “It’s _always about Kyuhyun._ ”

“…Break up with me,” Ryeowook repeated, swallowing his wails.

“Is this really how you want us to end?” Sungmin shouted, flinging his arm out angrily.

Ryeowook lowered his head, “…just break up with me already.”

“After everything we’ve done to get here, you’re telling me to break up with you? I’m just supposed to throw all of my feelings away because of _Kyuhyun_?!” Sungmin fought the urge to punch something, the grinding of his teeth one indication of the restraint. “Why do you care about him so much more than me?” he yelled. “Why am I always second to that asshole?! Who do you think has been here with you for so long? How come you can’t see that he’s _poison_?”

“Bye, Sungmin,” Ryeowook starting leaving, letting the words penetrate him and the tears pour down. It was the least he could do to ease the guilt…regret.

If Sungmin hated him, maybe everything would be better. Then they could move on and someday he would recover. He would find someone who didn’t put him in second place.

“…Why can’t you ever see me?” Sungmin swallowed the lump in his throat, refusing to let the stinging in his eyes become tears.

“WHY CAN’T YOU SEE ME, RYEOWOOK?! WHY CAN YOU ONLY SEE HIM?” He collapsed, hugging his knees and burying his face. “Dammit…,” the word drifted away as a wind picked up, killing the still silence.

Sungmin bit down hard enough to draw blood from his lip, “please don’t go…,” he mumbled, chest trembling, “why are you going…?”

***

Kyuhyun sat on the edge of his bed, mindlessly toying with a well-worn, folded piece of paper. The door clicked and he straightened, head shooting up to see Ryeowook coming inside, sniffling and smiling. “Hi Kyu,” he greeted warmly between uncomfortable breaths.

“You actually did it?” Kyuhyun spoke barely above a whisper, watching the boy come over and take his hands sweetly.

Ryeowook blinked back a few stray tears and nodded. “It’s okay,” he stated hoarsely, “let’s be together.”

“…You can’t change your mind,” he reminded, gazing up at his prospective lover, “I won’t let you change your mind.”

“I’m serious,” Ryeowook squeezed Kyuhyun’s hands, “for you, everything is okay.”

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but laugh, shoulders rising and falling. “Why is that your attitude towards this?” He let his expression calm before continuing. “Why are you letting everything go, just for me?”

The answer was quick and easy, nearly thoughtless, “Because you’re Kyuhyun.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah,” Ryeowook smiled faintly, “because you’re the most important person in the world…to me, at least.”

Kyuhyun pulled the boy down into his lap, head resting against a lean chest. “Then you’re my most important person…forever.” He closed his eyes to the somber day, wondering if tomorrow they would be able to feel more than despair and regret.

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

Minho stood outside of the music building, back against a pillar. He closed his eyes and sighed, trying to forget Sungmin’s face from last night. That was the first time he had ever seen the boy so… _mad._ They had ended up at the gym beating the crap out of punching bags and that, Minho guessed, was the scariest Sungmin he had ever seen.

Students spilled out of the building and Minho straightened, searching for Ryeowook among the flood of whining, laughing and complaining kids. They all dispersed but there was still no Ryeowook.

He frowned, walking into the building to search for his friend. There were a few stragglers here and there, one of which Minho caught by the arm and asked, “Where’s Kim Ryeowook?”

“He’s in Practice Room 4,” the kid replied, leaving quickly.

Minho trailed down the corridor, stopping outside of the indicated room. Just as he was about to knock, serious voices drifted through to him and he leaned back against the door, listening.

“They were really fast,” Ryeowook remarked.

An unknown voice, most likely his composition teacher, said, “Well, they’re really excited. What do you expect? You had such a great person to vouch for you.”

“I’ll have to thank him later,” he answered, chuckling softly.

“So are you considering it seriously?”

Ryeowook paused for a long minute, finally saying, “I’ll get my answer to them by the due date.”

“I have to say that you’re being very strange right now. This is a great chance and you’re not fully positive if you’re going to take it?” the teacher made a disappointed noise.

Minho crossed his arms, trying to figure out what was happening. It was obviously something music related, probably admission into a top university. But why would Ryeowook be reluctant to take the chance?

“I have things I have to figure out first,” he explained, “the decision becomes harder when you get attached to people.”

“Well…fine,” the teacher finally sighed, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow. Thank you,” Ryeowook responded before walking over to the door and sliding it open.

Minho met his gaze the moment he crossed the threshold. They stayed locked for a second before smiles broke on both of their faces. Ryeowook abruptly yelped though, scrambling to hide the envelope in his hand.

“I already heard all of it,” Minho stated, amused, “c’mon, let me see it.”

“…but—” Ryeowook couldn’t finish his sentence as the taller boy plucked the envelope out of his hands and started walking off. “W-Wait!” he called out, running after the departing figure, “Why do you want to read that?” He jumped for it, missing and stumbling.

Minho laughed, unfolding the letter and holding it up high. The short boy extended his arms as far as they would go but he still couldn’t reach it. “Why aren’t you more excited?” he prompted after reading the first few lines of the letter, “You were accepted to a university so be ecstatic Ryeowook!” A smile played on his lips and he handed it back slowly, trying to swallow more of the information on the page.

“I am excited,” he replied, carefully folding the paper and tucking it back in the envelope. Ryeowook breathe a small sigh of relief after seeing Minho’s reaction to the acceptance letter. “…Anyway, why are you here?” he asked.

“Oh, right,” Minho shuffled down the stairs, waiting at the bottom for the other boy, “it’s about you and Sungmin.”

He froze, eyes widening at the bluntness of the words. “W-Why?” Ryeowook managed, now hesitant to follow the person.

“Because no one knows what the fuck is going on,” he drawled, rolling his eyes and looping an arm through Ryeowook’s. “I’m not angry at you for breaking up with Sungmin. I’m angry that I don’t know what’s going on with you. Why are you doing things that don’t make you happy?”

Ryeowook fidgeted, looking around for someone who might be able to help him. There were students everywhere but none of them were paying any mind. Sighing, Ryeowook cast his eyes down, “Can we sit down?”

“No problem,” Minho grinned, finding an empty bench in the main square and letting go of the small boy. “So why did you do it?”

“Can I tell you a story?” Ryeowook questioned, idly twiddling with the notebook in his lap. Minho nodded subtly, eyeing the other boy unwaveringly. The latter exhaled slowly, shoulders rising and falling in measured increments. “When I was six, Kyuhyun saved me from bullies at the playground. At seven, Kyuhyun gave me my first birthday present. At eight, Kyuhyun write a poem after seeing me cry about the chance of him being adopted and moving away. At nine, he woke up at Midnight and stayed up all night trying to make a surprise breakfast because it was Christmas. At ten, we spent an entire day lost in the countryside because we fell asleep on the bus. At eleven, Kyuhyun called the ambulance when my heart stopped working. At twelve, he showed me what a kiss is. At thirteen, he cried to me for the first time. At fourteen, Kyuhyun decided to take us to this academy for more opportunities. At fifteen he broke my heart. At sixteen, he taught me what standing on my own is like.”

“And now,” Ryeowook forced himself to stop picking at the notebook’s pages, “at seventeen, Kyuhyun finally needs me. He cried out for help and for all those years he never focused or cared for anyone but me. Whether I’m fully on board with it or not, I owe him this. More than anyone else, Kyuhyun is the most loyal person I’ve ever known. To betray him because of one year…,” he shook his head, eyes hard and decisive, “what sort of person would I be? For all the years Kyuhyun has dedicated to me, I think that one year of freedom for him wasn’t nearly enough to make up for all the time spent on caring for me. I have to repay him.”

Minho took a deep breath, leaning back and blinking a few times. “I’m a little surprised to be honest,” he said after a long minute, “Kyuhyun never struck me as someone caring.”

“He’s not,” Ryeowook smiled uneasily, “but everyone has that one exception. But you asked me why I had to leave Sungmin. Do you understand why I can’t date him?”

Reluctantly, the handsome boy nodded. “I get it Ryeowook. Just I wish you would think about yourself more often.” Minho didn’t let him butt in, going on to say, “Screw the past, fuck the past few years. I’m saying that you need to make decisions for you, not for anyone else. It’s been a hell of a long time and I don’t know what you’re doing. Why are you working so hard to be everything others need?”

Ryeowook was silent, back straight and stiff.

“You wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for Sungmin. Now you want to be the person who saves Kyuhyun. Back then, you wanted to be the one to help YoungSaeng. Even now, you’re the president of our Student Government. You keep taking on the problems of people but it’s about time you start remembering that you’re a lot more important.” Minho stood up, casually tapping the acceptance letter in Ryeowook’s hands. “Try starting with that. If you make the wrong decision, I’ll personally come and kick your cute little ass.”

Ryeowook peered up, a strange warmth lighting his eyes, “…Thanks for listening, Minho.”

“I asked you for the info first,” he shrugged, turning away, “See you later.”

For a while, Ryeowook simply sat there, thinking and at times studying the envelope rustling beneath his fingers. It held so much meaning and yet…the opportunities were only for him. How was it fair?

It wasn’t. There was no one to share the fun with.

He slowly shook his head once. A part of moving on was leaving everything behind…right? Ryeowook sighed shakily, closing his eyes tightly.

 

***

 

“Okay kiddies, we’re going to start ‘The Importance of Being Ernest’,” Dongwoon announced, uneasily looking around at the familiar and unfamiliar faces. In one corner was Kikwang with a group of shiny-eyed first years; in another corner was Sungmin with the second years; and in the middle of the lounging area were Ryeowook and Mir. Dongwoon cleared his throat, trying to be professional amidst all the tenseness, “This play is a comedy that teaches the moral lesson that being earnest is very important, if that wasn’t quite obvious by the title.”

There were some laughs and smiles, thought they did very little to lighten the mood. Dongwoon stifled a sigh.

“You’re cute!” Kikwang called, grinning.

The atmosphere grew worse and if it weren’t for the embarrassed laughter from the underclassmen, the awkward air would’ve been painfully clear. “Thanks,” Dongwoon replied, smiling faintly, “we’re going to start working on the set today so who wants to paint?”

No one offered right away, so Mir raised his hand, looking around at the younger boys. Many of the first and second years immediately volunteered upon seeing Mir was going to paint too. It was a curious thing how so many of them were interested in the awkward boy. They seemed to be attracted to his “cool” attitude.

Dongwoon fought the smirk daring to turn his lips. _How cute…_ “Okay, you guys follow Mir. He knows what’s going on.”

There were resounding nods and “okays” before the oldest Tech Crew member stood up, silently leading the bumbling kids out of the Tech Shop.

“Who wants to learn how to do lights and sound?” Dongwoon prompted.

Sungmin raised his hand, “I can teach them.”

“Ah, that’s good,” the club president stated nodding for Sungmin to lead his band of underclassmen towards the Sound Booth.

Along the way, the black haired boy bumped Ryeowook’s leg and they jolted apart so fast it looked as if one of them would fall over from momentum. Ryeowook immediately lowered his head, saying, “I’m so sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Sungmin fumbled, covering his face and turning away.

Ryeowook glanced up but he was already rushing out of the room. A soft sigh fell from his lips and he fiddled with his fingers, body rigid.

Dongwoon swallowed the pangs, walking closer to the one or two freshmen left and Kikwang and Ryeowook. “Alright, Ryeowook can you give Kikwang a tour of the place? The rest of you can go paint if you want. There’s not much we’re doing today.”

“Oh okay,” Ryeowook replied, “let’s go.” He quickly started off, hearing the new member’s footsteps not far behind.

The Tech President watched everyone depart and then leaned against the wooden cutting table, trying to gather himself. When had club become such a dramatic matter? Why did everyone have to gather in _his_ club? Dongwoon grimaced, eyes shutting tiredly.

Sungmin and Ryeowook were nowhere near recovering from their break up.

Mir was obviously okay with everything which just pissed Dongwoon off to no end.

Meanwhile, Kikwang couldn’t get it through his head that Mir wasn’t trying to steal him. All of the outward flirting wasn’t affecting him, yet Kikwang kept acting as if he were winning some sort of fight – the kind where Dongwoon was the terribly reluctant prize.

It was all too confusing and useless. He just wanted everything to be _normal_. Even if Ryeowook and Sungmin stayed apart, it would be fine but they needed to start getting over one another or something.

And _freaking_ Mir needed to see that they couldn’t just be in love. They needed to be in love and together as a couple. Dongwoon had been aching for that day and just when he thought it had come, the boy went and said they couldn’t be together because of Kikwang.

Where was the justice?

“Hey Dongwoon, where’s the paint?” Mir interrupted his hectic thoughts. His sleeves were rolled up, bangs clipped back in an accidentally, overly, adorable way. The dark brown locks bounced with casual step.

Why in the hell did he have to be so mindlessly cute? Dongwoon caught Mir’s arm, jerking him forward with the intention to smother that unknowing face and those sweet lips with kisses.

Instead, Dongwoon crashed into Mir’s palm slamming over his mouth. The attacker’s eyes flew open in surprise and he met a confused and hurt pair of puppy-dog eyes. “What are you doing?” Mir questioned softly.

“Try-imf ‘o ‘iss ‘omf…,” Dongwoon mumbled into the hand.

The shorter boy moved away, asking, “What?”

“Trying to kiss you,” he huffed, locking Mir’s wrist to stop him from stopping the kiss again. This time their lips met hurriedly, Dongwoon grasping the slender one’s waist and holding him desperately. They slid apart only to change the angle and deepen the connection.

Mir trembled in the embrace, body turning to mush with each wet kiss. Soon he was leaning into Dongwoon for support, chest heaving with uneasy pants. The attack was relentless though, as if the handsome boy thought Mir was about to disappear for good if the kiss ended.

“S-St…op…!” he managed, but it was ignored as a tongue wrapped around his own, dragging him deeper and deeper. Mir whimpered, eyes fighting to stay open.

Dongwoon licked his lips, breathing, “Please don’t say that,” another soft peck, “don’t say that when you love me.” He leveled their gazes, hurt engraved in those lovely dark eyes. “We’re in love…why can’t we happen?” he whispered.

“I…,” Mir tilted his head sadly, reaching up to caress the side of Dongwoon’s face, “…I want you and Kikwang…to end on good terms. I-I don’t want him to be resentful. So we can’t be together.” He wanted to eat those words when that breathtaking face leaned into his touch, soft chestnut locks brushing over his fingers.

“…You want me though?” Dongwoon murmured.

Mir nodded, blushing slightly. “Yeah…I want you,” he assured quietly.

“Just making sure,” the tall boy grinned, kissing him again before letting go. “I’ll figure things out with Kikwang. We’ll be together soon.”

He just smiled and nodded. “…Uhm, Dongwoon, where’s the paint? I still need to get back.”

“Oh, right.”

***

Ryeowook dragged his feet through the hallways, trying to process the day’s events. Sometimes he considered dropping club activities but then he just couldn’t do it. Being with everyone was too much fun, even if being near Sungmin was uncomfortable. A part of him couldn’t help but be caught up in that beautiful face and those large dark eyes…Ryeowook shook himself, pressing a hand against the wall for support.

 _What am I thinking…?_ He sighed, refocusing on more important matters.

The School Director had asked for a ridiculously complicated task and Ryeowook was supposed to organize the whole thing. In the administrator’s eyes, “It should be up to the students where they spend their Senior Trip” and therefore Ryeowook, as StudGov President, still had no right to make all of the decisions.

That was why now everyone in the graduating class would participate in a team sports competition where the team with the most points would pick a destination among the top three choices voted on by the third years. It sounded easy enough, but Ryeowook had a feeling it wouldn’t be nearly as quick and simple as it seemed. After all, aside from _just_ that, he was busy agonizing over other stuff.

Ryeowook was just about to enter the Honors Dorm – his sweet salvation from the tiresome day – when someone’s hand grasped his wrist. Stifling a groan, he turned around, miserably shadowed eyes meeting Kikwang’s shifty gaze.

“Hello, what are you doing here?” Ryeowook questioned robotically, moving away from the dormitory.  

Kikwang bit his lip, squeezing Ryeowook’s wrist, “Please…can we talk for a little bit, pres?”

 

“Ah…,” he was about to admit that he was beyond exhausted, but then from the corner of his eye, he noticed some weird movement and hushed whispers coming from the back of a building. “Hey, what’s that?” Ryeowook pointed at the shuffling commotion in the dark.

Kikwang hurriedly followed the finger, “Oh…I don’t know,” he muttered, confusion mixing with his previously sad appearance.

There was a loud cry and then it was muffled sharply. Ryeowook broke into a sprint, not realizing Kikwang was being dragged along. Without thinking, the President shoved a solid body to the ground before grabbing whoever was being attacked, and running far away.

Angry words flew after them but none could give chase when the trio was running so quickly. Ryeowook couldn’t believe incidents like that were still happening with the world’s current surveillance systems and knowledge and research. Why was rape and molestation still so freaking common?

“I think…we’re far enough,” Ryeowook breathed heavily, holding his knees and trying to gather more air. At some point he had shaken off both people who had been caught up in the night with him. It was apparently not meant to be for Ryeowook to get a good night’s sleep. “Are you alright?” he asked the previously endangered student, turning around to see a pretty face.

Taemin was staring wide eyed, chest rising and falling uncertainly. “Oh, thanks Pres,” he replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“What are you doing out this late? You know that the crazier upperclassmen like to roam the campus at this hour,” Ryeowook sighed.

The honey blonde shrugged stiffly, eyes lowering to the ground. “I just needed some fresh air. Minho was riding my ass about some stuff…”

A pang of sympathy shocked the president’s chest. Exhaling softly, he offered a tight smile, “Well, please be careful and go back to your dorm room. It’s almost lights out and I’m almost positive those boys are still skulking around.”

Kikwang made his presence known once more, taking Ryeowook’s arm, “But pres, I still want to talk to you! Are you saying we can’t talk?” His voice held a touch of sadness – the kind that becomes impossible to ignore.

“What’s wrong?” Ryeowook breathed, mind trying to wrap around all of the people and things that needed him.

“Actually…,” Taemin bit his lip, shuffling around before reaching out to Ryeowook’s other arm, “you’re really close to Mir, right? Can I ask you something?”

Weight after weight was toppling down on his shoulders as he began to realize just how right Minho was. He couldn’t keep taking all of these duties. Everyone needed his help, _sought_ his advice. But he was just one person – a weak person as that. How was he supposed to help everyone when he himself was still struggling with decisions?

Did Ryeowook even have a right to be advising other people when he could have very well made the biggest mistake of his life just two weeks ago?

“But—”

“ _Please_ , President!” Kikwang begged, hand tightening around the slender, exhausted boy.

“…ah…,” he turned helplessly around to see Taemin had the same despairing look in his eyes, “I…I guess for a little bit…”

And then they were bounding off to one of the twenty-four hour coffee shops on campus. It was scarcely filled, and that by that, the store was empty except for a panicky student in the corner pulling an all-nighter.

The barista got them de café drinks before leaving them alone to their business. Ryeowook peered out at the warm night longingly. All he wanted to do was go home already. There was another busy day tomorrow and, quite frankly, he would be busy up until the Senior Trip at the end of June. That meant another two months of pure torturous work and downing heart medication.

“Alright, what’s wrong, Kikwang?” Ryeowook asked, taking a short sip from his drink. The bitterness immediately hit him and he pushed the drink aside.

Kikwang sighed, lowering his chin to the table top, fingers idly tapping the plastic cup of steaming coffee. “I just don’t understand why Dongwoon doesn’t care about me.”

Ryeowook’s eyes fluttered open in surprise. “Excuse me?”

“I mean,” the boy looked up and then back down, “he wants to break up. He wants to be with Mir. Am I not good enough for him? Did I do something wrong? You’re good friends with both of them, pres. Can you just tell me why Dongwoon can’t love me back?”

“Actually,” Taemin coughed, twiddling his thumbs uncomfortably, “I have the same…sort of, question. What does Mir see in Dongwoon?” he flushed suddenly, trying to hide the tinge of color with his fair hair. “I-I mean, I’ve seen how Dongwoon is. He was pushing Mir to fall for him in the beginning. Whenever I hut Mir, Dongwoon would show up and be some sort of support. Is that right? Is it right to try and take someone else’s lover?”

Ryeowook felt his head pounding and decided to take the bitter hot drink after all. This whole situation was new to him. Mir never spoke about his own affairs and now that Ryeowook was hearing all about it… “Hold on,” he took a deep breath, unscrambling his mind, “Mir and you, Taemin, broke up already,” Taemin flinched but nodded, “and Mir and Dongwoon like each other, right Kikwang?” The boy in question stiffened but nodded also. “But Dongwoon and you, Kikwang, are still dating right?”

“Yes…” he mumbled.

“Then…right now you both are wondering the opposite things?” Ryeowook spoke out loud, slowly forming the situation in his mind. “Kikwang, you want to know why Dongwoon loves Mir. Taemin, you want to know why Mir loves Dongwoon.”

“Yeah,” Taemin affirmed softly, finally taking a sip of his coffee.

Ryeowook wanted to bang his head against the table. How was he supposed to know that? “Well…,” he began, trying to think as he spoke, “I guess, have you ever watched them together? What I mean to say is, have you ever noticed how they’re always thinking about one another? I think it might not be that they have specific things they like about each other. It’s more like…,” he licked his lips, brow furrowing with thought, “they love how they ‘move’ together. When they’re around one another, it’s as if life becomes easier to live. When one of them is struggling, the other can make up for their weakness.”

Kikwang frowned stubbornly. “But why can’t Taemin or I be that for them? I love Dongwoon and Taemin loves Mir. Why do we have to be cast aside? Do you think it’s right for us to be stepping stones in their path to love?” His words cut deeper than anything that had been said so far.

“I agree,” Taemin chimed in, looking up, “I was with Mir from the very beginning and we’ve been through so much more than him and Dongwoon. How is it fair that…that Dongwoon has only been there to pick up Mir when he’s sad? I’ve grown so much because of Mir and I know he’s changed too because of me. We…We make so much more sense than him and Dongwoon.” Taemin shot Ryeowook an unsteady glare. “Can you argue with me?”

Ryeowook had been chanting in the back of his head ‘Please let me go home’ for the past minute or so. Sighing, he leaned back in the chair. “I can’t say anything else. I do agree that being thrown aside like you’re not a person isn’t right…but getting in the way of two people in love isn’t right either.”

Before Taemin could add his thoughts, Ryeowook went on, “Yes, Dongwoon did the same by slowly winning Mir over by being his shoulder-to-cry-on, but Taemin,” he paused, struggling to word the next part properly, “you aren’t the type of lover that Mir needs. When you two are together, it’s easy to talk about all of the scary, hurtful things right?” Taemin nodded slowly. “But there’s the problem. When both of you have scary things haunting you, you need people that are stronger to help you get through it. It’s like when you go into a haunted house. You never hold onto another weak-kneed person. You find the fearless one because you need someone who can drag you through the dark.”

“So you’re saying it’s because I’m weak? That’s why Mir doesn’t love me anymore?” Taemin asked, sounding absolutely crushed by the admission.

Guilt swept through Ryeowook. “He still loves you,” he said quickly before adding, “but…you also never stop loving. When you’ve fallen in love, you don’t stop falling.”

Taemin smiled faintly, “Someone else told me the same thing…but it sounds a lot less hopeful when you say it, pres.”

Kikwang nodded to that, eyes glum. “I just wish Dongwoon had actually fallen in love with me,” he shrugged his shoulders, fingers beginning to shake against the plastic cup, “because then I’d know he didn’t just use me.”

“I’m sorry, Kikwang,” Ryeowook whispered, “but you know what…?”

“Hmm?”

Ryeowook glanced down at the ring still on his finger. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he should take it off. For the longest time it had been a weight tying him down. If he were to take it off, would that mean reality, too, would crumble?

“You know what?” Ryeowook repeated softer this time. “Given enough time to realize – to _see_ – any love becomes possible. It’s just a matter of how long you’re willing to work at it. How hopeful and desperate are you? To what lengths would you go to ensure someday, somehow, you could be with him?”

_Would you wait three years?_

_Would you patiently hold his hand even though he wanted to hold someone else’s hand?_

_Would you be strong and loyal even when he isn’t asking you to be?_

_Would you be able to stand next to him knowing every horrible thing about him?_

_Are you as strong as Sungmin?_

Kikwang didn’t answer, eyes clouding.

Ryeowook only gazed at him for a moment longer, prior to standing up and stretching tiredly. “I’m not a love god though. I don’t know much about anything, really. So don’t put too much faith in me.” He gently ran his hand across Taemin’s shoulder. “Goodnight to the both of you.”

There were faint words of departure but Ryeowook barely minded them as he trudged out of the coffee shop, half dead.

 

When he arrived home, Kyuhyun’s lean figure was just leaning over to turn off the lamp light before stopping to turn to Ryeowook.

There were no exchanged words as the slender boy shrugged off his clothes and shoes, flopping down on top of Kyuhyun in just his boxers. Ryeowook’s eyes immediately snapped shut, lightweight body barely troubling the confused boy.

Kyuhyun successfully turned off the light, repositioning the snoring, smaller one under the blankets. He wrapped his arms around Ryeowook, keeping him warm against the temperature drop of the night.

“Why are you working so hard?” Kyuhyun mumbled, brushing his fingers through wind-ridden hair, lips connecting with the top of Ryeowook’s head.

There was no reply, of course.

 


	40. Chapter 40

“Wake up!”

Ryeowook bolted up, looking around bleary-eyed as he tried to gather his bearings. What day was it? What time? Had he missed breakfast? When were his board meetings? Did he have clothes on? Did he take a shower last night? Were Dongwoon and the others already discussing the day’s plans?

“ _Wake. Up._ ” Kyuhyun whispered in his ear, hot breath soothing his adrenaline-pumped veins.

“Hmm…? What’s going on?” the slender boy yawned, toppling forward and slinging his arms low around Kyuhyun’s hips.

The latter chuckled, tilting Ryeowook’s chin up. “Open your eyes, dummy,” he stated with a twinge of annoyance, “you’re trying to sleep on my crotch.”

“I what?!” Ryeowook staggered back deliriously, fumbling with the blankets and landing on the soft cushiony mattress.

Kyuhyun watched the mostly naked, pale skinned boy trying to figure out what was going on. For a moment he admired the smooth expanses of white and the sleepy expression on his confused face. It quickly passed though as he watched Ryeowook teetering back to dream land. “I already told you to get up,” Kyuhyun barked, frowning and dragging the boy out of bed. “We have places to go today and you’re not allowed to sleep anymore. It’s already ten o’clock.”

“What?” Ryeowook mumbled groggily, a gust of cold wind blowing at him as they marched down the hallway towards the showers.

“Shower and get dressed,” Kyuhyun stated, pushing him into a stall and reaching over to turn on the water. Icy drops tore down on Ryeowook’, effectively clearing his mind and making him jump and yelp. Kyuhyun tossed a towel over the side of the stall, along with a set of clothes, saying “Hurry up!”

Ryeowook obeyed without really thinking it through and before he knew it, he was walking out of the bathroom fully dressed and bright eyed. Leaning outside of the public showers was Kyuhyun, also fully clothed and carrying a backpack.

“Kyu?” the shorter boy prompted, looking at him curiously, “What’s going on?” He glanced at the hall clock, seeing that it was already ten-thirty in the morning. Even though it was a Saturday, there were things to do for school. Why hadn’t Ryeowook’s alarm gone off?

“We’re going out today,” Kyuhyun replied, offering his hand.

Ryeowook shook his head, “I can’t go out to have fun. I have so many things to prepare for and they need me to help them organize our Senior Trip—!” A hand clamped over his mouth as dark, annoyed eyes bore into his.

Kyuhyun pushed close, saying in a clear and concise voice, “You need to relax. They can handle it for just one day. Let them take care of things.” His words had dropped to a concerned whisper and Ryeowook knew right then and there that fighting was useless.

When he used that voice, the slender boy just couldn’t argue. There was so much sincerity and warmth. Ryeowook nodded once and the hand dropped to take his, their fingers lacing in a way that was far beyond natural. It was perfect. It was absolute.

“Okay…,” he mumbled grudgingly, noticing the faint smirk on Kyuhyun’s face. Ryeowook blushed, trailing after the boy leading him. “B-But where are we going?”

“A few places,” Kyuhyun answered, “probably the Dining Hall first.”

They walked through the campus bustling with activities. Some students greeted Ryeowook and Kyuhyun but most were too busy preparing for different events or competitions. For once, the StudGov President was looking around to see what was going on.

It sounded odd, but Ryeowook had never really had time to simply stroll through the campus. He had always been running an errand or sprinting to class or thinking about serious matters. Yet as he allowed himself to be distracted by the fun atmosphere, a smile couldn’t help but spring to his face. Was school really so lively? It had always seemed somewhat lack luster.

Kyuhyun tilted his head back, smiling a bit at the childish fascination on Ryeowook’s face. “You’re acting like you’ve never seen our school before,” he remarked, slowing down so they were next to each other.

“I…guess I haven’t really _seen_ our school in a while,” he admitted.

Kyuhyun peered around, seeing nothing particularly out of the ordinary. “It’s a little busier than usual but other than that it’s always like this. You’ve just been wrapped up in other stuff for too long.”

The Dining Hall was relatively empty though, probably because everyone was outside. Ryeowook watched Kyuhyun fill his tray of food, becoming queasier by the minute. Eating much at all hadn’t been in his schedule recently and seeing the sheer amount being piled onto the tray was terrifying.

“Kyuhyun…,”Ryeowook began uneasily.

“Trust me,” Kyuhyun cut off, flashing a grin, “You’re going to be hungry.”

They retreated to a table near the second story window, both of their eyes wandering about the quirky little situations going on below. Ryeowook giggled when he watched one of the rehearsing actors get hit upside the head with a football.

Meanwhile, Kyuhyun had taken the liberty of tearing off a piece of bread, taking Ryeowook’s chin, and pushing the food into his mouth. The latter’s protest was muffled as he chewed and swallowed the bit.

For a second, Ryeowook pondered over the sweet flavor in his mouth. “What kind of bread is that?” he asked, eyes shining hungrily now. Had he really missed eating, so much? Kyuhyun simply shrugged and fed him another broken off piece of pastry.

Ryeowook grinned happily, enjoying being spoiled. The look wasn’t missed by Kyuhyun who rolled his eyes but continued treating the other boy nicely anyway. “Sweet things have always spiked your appetite,” he commented, “what do you want now?”

“Eggs!” he exclaimed, opening his mouth hopefully.

Kyuhyun chuckled, feeding him and smirking at the pleasure on Ryeowook’s features. “Why haven’t you been eating as much?” He cut another piece of egg, bringing it to the smaller boy’s lips.

“There hasn’t been much time,” he muttered between chews.

“No time to eat?” Kyuhyun murmured, taking a bit of the food for himself, “It’s a human necessity. Since when did you become an alien?”

Ryeowook pouted, opening the miniature bottle of orange juice and drinking it, “I’m not an alien,” he defended, earning another shudder-inducing smirk, “I just have other things that occupy my time and attention. I wish I had time to eat more…and sleep more…I guess I wish I had more time in general.” He didn’t know why he was confessing everything to Kyuhyun. It had been years since he had a heart-to-heart with the darkly charming person. But it simply felt as if Kyuhyun was really listening this time and that he really cared.

Had he ever stopped caring?

“Even if you let down the whole school, you still need to eat,” Kyuhyun sighed, “without food you start to get hysterical.” He smiled knowingly and laughed quietly when he saw the embarrassed blush stain Ryeowook’s cheeks. “Nothing right now is worth dying for. Well, except for me.”

Ryeowook grinned widely, eyes twinkling at the joke. “You’re right,” he agreed, finally taking up his own fork and eating. Kyuhyun simply watched, already having eaten earlier.

 

“Do you come here every Saturday?” Ryeowook asked in a hushed voice, squeezing Kyuhyun’s hand. The sterile smell of drugs, cleaner, and that distinctly hospital scent, filled their noses. There was no one really around which was probably a good thing.

Kyuhyun waved to the receptionist who recognized him immediately and smiled. “Yeah, every Saturday,” he replied, leading the way towards Donghae’s room.

“Is he doing okay?”

There was a long pause before Kyuhyun turned around stopping right before they reached the hospital room. He tilted his head, taking a quivering, chaste kiss. Ryeowook’s heart sped up sharply and he peered up with wide eyes.

An undefined emotion sent tremors through Kyuhyun’s gaze, but his next words had nothing to do with himself. “Donghae acts very well,” he stated carefully, “but you can see it…in the way he looks at people…and things. He doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about anything.”

Ryeowook raised their entwined fingers, pressing his lips gently to Kyuhyun’s tense knuckles. “I’m here now,” he promised, “You don’t have to be alone.”

The grip loosened slightly and Ryeowook pushed the door open, emerging in a brightly lit room. There were some presents around the countertops and cards as well. A television played in the corner of the area, displaying what appeared to be a music video.

Donghae looked up, smiling reflexively. “Oh hey Kyu. Ryeowook, you’re here too!” he sat up a bit straighter but as Ryeowook met the boy’s eyes, he realized what Kyuhyun meant. There was…nothing. The bright light and the warmth and everything that made Donghae so immensely handsome and sweet were gone.

“Yeah, I brought him,” Kyuhyun replied, straining his voice to sound cheerful.

“I hear you guys are _finally_ dating,” Donghae glanced down at their laced fingers, “and I guess it wasn’t a lie either. Congrats!”

Ryeowook couldn’t help coloring at the words. “Thank you,” he mumbled, looking off to the side.

Donghae laughed. “You’re too cute, pres!”

“Hey,” Kyuhyun grunted, pulling Ryeowook backwards against his chest, “you should focus on recovering, not flirting.”

“Aw, you’re too protective,” the handsome boy clicked his tongue, “whatever. What’s up?”

Kyuhyun and Donghae fell into a casual conversation, never touching too long on one thing whilst avoiding sports and his injury completely. Ryeowook had settled into Kyuhyun’s lap when the latter sat down, but other than that he hadn’t moved or spoken much.

It was fascinating for Ryeowook – seeing Kyuhyun talking to Donghae. He could easily say that that was the first time he had ever witnessed the boy conversing fondly with someone. Ryeowook simply studied the facial expressions Kyuhyun showed, cataloging what jokes made him laugh, smirk, grin, frown, and roll his eyes. There were so many expressions and emotions. The whole thing was…nostalgic, very nostalgic.

When was the last time Kyuhyun had shown those faces? Ryeowook really wondered how long it had been since Kyuhyun had had a friend. They didn’t count. There were too many oddities about their relationship. Ryeowook contemplated for a while, trying to remember all of the people Kyuhyun had ever spoken to.

In the end, it dawned on him. Ryeowook shifted around, catching Kyuhyun’s attention. The latter cocked an eyebrow. “It’s nothing,” Ryeowook assured, smiling and resting his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, forehead brushing against his neck. Of course that was a lie. He finally understood why Donghae was so important.

None of it had added up at first. Why would Kyuhyun ever shed tears for just a friend? But Donghae wasn’t just a friend.

Kyuhyun absently pressed his fingers between Ryeowook’s, curling in securely.

The smaller boy closed his eyes briefly before opening them again to gaze down at the slight tremor in Kyuhyun’s hand.

_Donghae is his first friend..._

 

* * *

The sky was nearly dark by the time Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were leaving the hospital. There were some people hurrying about, probably heading home from work or heading out to play with their friends. High buildings towered over them and at times they fell into shadows cast by the looming structures. Ryeowook would shiver at the sudden chill but warmth would quickly pump through him at a reassuring nudge or overly heated whisper in his ear.

“We should probably head back,” the smaller boy prompted, looking up at Kyuhyun.

He shook his head, tugging Ryeowook closer. “Do you remember a few months ago? I said I wanted to show you something. Well I still want to take you there…as a thank you.” Kyuhyun turned his head away, not wanting to show his face for some reason. “And I want to make something clear.”

Ryeowook didn’t argue, suddenly craving to know more about this boy. Outside of their little world, they had become completely different people. It was only stubborn denial that made the pair adamantly say they already knew each other fully.

The truth had just been proven in that afternoon. Ryeowook truly had no idea what Kyuhyun was like anymore. But it was a good thing. He had seen something lacking in Kyuhyun come back – or rather, appear for the first time. True friendship was as hard to come by as true love, yet here Kyuhyun had found a friend so _worthy_.

Internally, Ryeowook wanted to run back and tell Donghae how wonderful and patient he was to have successfully reached out to Donghae. But then again, Kyuhyun would probably push him down a hole for saying something so embarrassing to his friend.

“Why are you smiling so much?” Kyuhyun asked, turning a weird eye to Ryeowook.

The latter muffled more laughs, leaning sweetly into the taller boy’s arm. “I was thinking of something funny. What do you want to show me though?”

“We’ll be there soon,” he answered.

 

As promised, ten or so minutes later, they were heading straight into a rather lively park. Ryeowook caught his breath when bright white lights flickered to life overhead. Then, row by row, identical strings of light came to life, illuminating what appeared to be few dozen street performers smiling and showing off their talents.

Kyuhyun glanced over, smiling softly when he saw the absolute wonder on the smaller boy’s face. Ryeowook turned to him with awe, “Where are we?” he breathed.

“It’s a park famous for attracting musicians, artists, and other talented people. They perform every night and every day,” Kyuhyun explained, catching a small white rose petal that had burst from something or other, “for them, it’s a way to make money and showcase their talents.” He placed the petal in front of Ryeowook and they both watched as it started changing colors.

“Whoa…,” Ryeowook reached out, but then a glittering violet bloom dropped into his curled hand. He jumped, head shooting up to see a man on stilts leaning over him. “Is this for me?” Ryeowook called, lifting the flower up.

“Every time we go out together, someone gives you a flower,” Kyuhyun remarked.

Ryeowook flushed, giggling and twirling the large purple bloom.

The man on stilts nodded behind his mask, sprinkling silver dust down on the couple before turning and striding off to greet other park guests.

Kyuhyun frowned up at the sparkles in his hair and tried to shake them out. “Damn, this always happens,” he muttered.

“When did you come here?” Ryeowook laughed, bringing the artificial flower up to breathe in. It smelled like candied citrus or something like that. He reached up, trying to help the annoyed Kyuhyun. “You look pretty with sparkles,” Ryeowook teased.

The boy ignored the remarked, saying, “Donghae and I came here when he was looking for a good place to take Kibum for their anniversary. He ended up catching on fire and decided he didn’t want to come back.” Kyuhyun peered around, sighing but smiling again. “I really like this place though. There are a lot of fun things to do and no one tries to talk to you. They just want to show you cool tricks.”

Ryeowook abruptly let go of Kyuhyun’s hand to link their arms. “I can’t believe there’s a place like this!” he said cheerily, bright eyes spinning. “Oh! Can we get something to eat?” Ryeowook pointed at a person selling crepes.

“Do you have money?” Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow, amused.

“…,” Ryeowook frowned, looking around to see if there was any way to get money. No one would be kind enough to offer some up right? “Hmm…I guess—wait!” He pulled Kyuhyun deeper into the park until they reached a sleek black piano set on an outdoor performing square.

There was a sign on the bench that said: Be Back in an Hour

Ryeowook plucked it off, pushing up the cover for the keys. “Let’s play for money!” he grinned.

“Wait—,” Kyuhyun was stopped when he saw that there was a crowd beginning to form. Were they that eager to hear a pianist? What was the big deal about another pianist?

“C’mon,” Ryeowook whined, rolling his neck and flexing his fingers eagerly, “You know the song, don’t you?” He played the first few notes, watching for Kyuhyun’s reaction.

Reluctantly, Kyuhyun pushed away from the piano, licking his lips. There were people watching him closely now, some murmuring in the crowd reached his ears but none of it was decipherable. He heard the final note ring and then it all happened on its own.

His lips parted and a smooth, deep voice poured through the dreamy, colorful park. A light breeze ruffled his dark hair but Kyuhyun only let it send delightful shivers through his body as his eyes closed and the song wrapped around him.

 

_You didn’t say a word to me who walks a different path,_

_You are getting tired of waiting I know,_

_You won’t be able to expect a thing from me who still has a long way to go,_

_I’m afraid that your feelings for me will slowly disappear,_

_Yesterday, forget me who looked away when I saw you,_

It was an old song. One that Kyuhyun often sang to Ryeowook. There were times when he wondered why it felt right to say those words, but then he would sing the words to himself and remember that that was exactly how he felt.

Those were the precise emotions he wished to convey.

_Instead of saying “I love you” when I feel that way, I grow colder,_

_You know that,_

 

Of all of the things Kyuhyun had done and said over the years, those lyrics were the only painfully true feelings to escape him. There was no other interpretation in his mind.

They were only for Ryeowook and him.

No one else was allowed – _able_ , to understand.

 

_Today trust me who is being alone by keeping you at a distance,_

_The words that I find impossible to say…that is,_

_“I love you” exactly like the first feeling,_

_Today trust me who is being alone by keeping you at a distance,_

_The words that I find impossible to say…that is,_

_“I love you” exactly like the first feeling,_

Kyuhyun opened his eyes finally, turning around to face Ryeowook who had also begun coming back from his reverie.

Lights and colorful flames danced through their locked eyes, small smiles exchanged to one another. Ryeowook looked away first, playing the final notes as the final words fell into place.

_Exactly like the first feeling…_

 

***

“I can’t believe this was all for crepes,” Kyuhyun complained, leaning over to take a bite of Ryeowook’s vanilla crepe. He chewed it thoughtfully, apparently brushing off the words he had uttered less than a second ago.

The shorter boy frowned jerking Kyuhyun’s strawberry crepe down to chomp off the top. Ryeowook watched the indignant shock pass over Kyuhyun’s face. “Don’t insult it and then take mine,” he huffed, deciding that he rather liked the strawberry more than the vanilla.

“You little brat,” Kyuhyun’s mouth twitched, eyes darkening wickedly. In a flash, he had his hand under Ryeowook’s, shoving the partially eaten pastry into the boy’s face.

Vanilla cream had been dragged across Ryeowook’s cheek. Kyuhyun laughed at the pout and glare. “I ate yours! I didn’t waste it!” he cried, looking sadly down at the messy crepe.

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, catching Ryeowook’s hand to stop him in place. “It’s just a little,” he mumbled, running his tongue across the sticky substance and swallowing, “don’t get so upset,” a chuckle rippled up through his throat, only to force shivers down Ryeowook’s back.

“U-Unsanitary,” he managed nervously, going back to eating.

Suddenly, a Polaroid photo was pushed in Ryeowook’s face and he staggered back. A quirky little photographer leered at him and then Kyuhyun in turn. “This would be a nice little picture for your memory box, don’t you think, kiddo?” he winked at Ryeowook.

The picture was Kyuhyun’s smirking, tilted face close to Ryeowook’s. His tongue was sliding up his cheek as Ryeowook only stared dumbly over at Kyuhyun.

A bright red blush rushed up his neck and across his features. “Why did you take a picture of that?” he stammered.

Kyuhyun gave the man the remainder of the money they had earned from the piano performance and then took the Polaroid. A horrified Ryeowook gaped up at him. “What?” Kyuhyun laughed, waving the square around before tucking it in his pocket. “Now we have two pictures from two dates,” he stated just above a whisper.

A memory of the odd Japanese people and the costume shop raced back to Ryeowook and he was positive a heat stroke would overcome him any second. The richly colored photo came back to him. He still remembered sitting on his bed for a solid hour, memorizing every line.

They had been gazing at each other in a way Ryeowook couldn’t even comprehend. Their bodies had been pressed so close and if anyone just glanced at the photo, they would’ve thought Ryeowook was a pretty, petite girl bashfully submitting to the dark and brooding Cho Kyuhyun.

Then again, that wasn’t too far away from the truth. Ryeowook stifled a groan. Where was his dignity?

“Hey, let’s go over there,” Kyuhyun pointed towards the miniature rose maze lit by blue lights woven in the foliage.

Ryeowook dropped his arm, taking Kyuhyun’s hand again. “Ah, you said you wanted to talk before, right?”

He nodded, taking a deep breath and mumbling about the sweet smell. “I’m a liar.” Kyuhyun kept walking, his backside to Ryeowook. “I lie about everything and anything to sculpt the perfect reality. I don’t want to live by someone else’s principles. I’ve never been okay with relinquishing my hold.”

Ryeowook wanted to say he already knew that but Kyuhyun kept talking.

“But then you destroyed everything without me asking. You wrecked your entire reality because I was losing control of mine. I,” Kyuhyun paused in a pool of moonlight to turn around, “need you to know that I’m sorry for taking away our reality.” He gulped, eyes flitting anywhere and everywhere. “I wanted so badly to have my own world again. I didn’t want to share with someone else anymore. I felt like the longer we stayed together, the more control I was losing over everything.”

Kyuhyun untangled their hands so he could guide Ryeowook’s face up to his. “Until now I’ve never been sorry about the choices I made. But after you ruined it all for me,” he took a steadying breath, as if it were taking all of his strength to get these words out. Ryeowook had a hunch that was true. “I can’t believe you left behind everything,” he whispered, “I _still_ think sometimes…that you’re not really this amazing.”

 _You think I’m amazing?_ Ryeowook wanted to speak but the words lodged in his throat.

“I keep trying to tell myself that the Ryeowook I fabricated in our shared world is the real you, but it probably never was. I mean,” a breathless smile appeared on his face and Ryeowook felt his heart stall for a second, “you were the one who found me in the beginning – the very beginning.”

“I don’t know how to speak anymore,” Kyuhyun sighed, “I can’t convey…I can’t understand how to make you feel like it wasn’t a mistake. You already gave up something so precious for me and I know you’re regretting it—”

Ryeowook couldn’t take it anymore. He wrapped his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist, pressing up to capture fumbling lips. The taller boy fell back, catching Ryeowook to protect him from the hard ground. Kyuhyun felt a dull pounding pain in his tailbone but he ignored it, relaxing into the warm kiss.

“Please stop, Kyu,” Ryeowook’s voice cracked and he leaned his head down, panting, parted lips brushing Kyuhyun’s neck, “Please don’t apologize anymore.” He opened his eyes, only to close them again and nuzzle into the familiar scent of cologne. “I know how much you gave up for me. For me to give up one thing can’t compare,” Ryeowook whispered miserably, “So don’t think I’m here out of pity. Kyuhyun, I need you.”

Tears dared to fall as the quaking of his voice grew worse, “I would only do this for you. I would never destroy everything for anyone else. But you were breaking,” Ryeowook could hear his own wails now, like a flood gate letting loose all of the unspoken words, “and I…and I...,” he lifted his arms up tangling around Kyuhyun’s neck, “I…”

Kyuhyun lied back on the stone, gently patting the boy’s trembling back. He softly hummed a familiar tune, letting his eyes lift up to the dark blue sky. Little white specks flashed from time to time, playing hide and seek in the folds of the atmosphere.

“Ryeowook,” he murmured, “we…are already too far gone, aren’t we?” _…from the past._

The boy was silent but then he lifted his head, pushing up to hover over Kyuhyun’s face. His eyes were still wet and his cheeks were flushed even under the pale moonlight. “That means this time we won’t get trapped,” he answered with a very small smile. Ryeowook paused before their lips could meet. _I don’t need the past…_

Kyuhyun smoothed his fingers through Ryeowook’s hair, tugging him lower. “…I don’t need control this time,” he mouthed a breath away, “I won’t cave again.”

“Is this our first real kiss, Kyuhyun…?” Ryeowook asked as his eyes fluttered closed. _What are we becoming…?_

He dipped his chin slightly in a nod. “No other motives…” _Not because I’m angry, or sad, or lonely…and not because he thinks he has to…not because I think I have to…_

Ryeowook rested his weight on top of Kyuhyun’s. “Mutual from the beginning?” he breathed. _I don’t kiss you and you don’t kiss me…_

“Yeah,” Kyuhyun mumbled, tightening his arm around Ryeowook’s waist. “Make it perfect.” _Because…_

Ryeowook watched the night sky paint across the back of his eyelids before fireworks and sparks flew through it and then all manner of crazed colors danced away the night…because this was real.

Now they were real.

 


	41. Chapter 41

Minho yanked the blanket back, bending down and shouting, “GET OFF YOUR ASS, SUNGMIN!” He glared in frustration at the curled up boy, hiding his face from the sunlit afternoon. “It’s been a fucking _month_ already and you’re not even trying to get over him!”

Originally, he had decided to give Sungmin some time to try and collect himself. Everyone was allowed mourning time – time to pity one’s self when it feels like the worst has happened. However, things were changing and solidifying. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook had been publicly flirting for two weeks already, yet Sungmin was left to quietly gaze after them. Minho saw those crushed looks, but he kept convincing himself that Sungmin was a trooper. He would definitely pick himself up again.

There would never be a need for Minho to try and be his shining knight. Sungmin had been the knight before. He should’ve known how to get out of being the distressed damsel. After all, Minho had never seen the boy unable to bounce back.

But another week passed by with no change. Ryeowook was steadily growing more confident in himself and by the looks of it him and Kyuhyun were happily deepening their relationship. Minho wasn’t one to talk though. It would be a lie if he said he knew what the old Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were like. However, by the looks Sungmin couldn’t help giving, it was obvious there was something far more real in the way Kyuhyun and Ryeowook treated one another. Otherwise, why would Sungmin appear so hopeless?

“Go away…,” Sungmin mumbled hoarsely, burrowing his head in the mattress.

And then finally they had reached the one month break up point. Ryeowook had recovered almost completely, aside from the sometimes guilty longing he held in his gaze around Sungmin. On the other hand, Sungmin was actually worse.

Minho couldn’t take it anymore. He was absolutely, positively _sick_ of it all. The sad little light in the boy’s eyes had become unbearable.

“Ryeowook has already moved on! How can you still be moping over someone who doesn’t even like you anymore?” Minho growled, throwing the blanket across the room.

The balled up person mumbled incoherently, turning away from the driving words.

Strong hands latched onto his slender waist, raising him up off the bed sheets and into the air. Sungmin’s eyes burst open and he yelped, struggling in the arms quickly snaking around him. “What are you doing?” he screeched, twisting and turning in an attempt to look at Minho.

“We’ve always spoken better through actions,” the tall boy replied, ignoring the indignant outbursts. He threw Sungmin over his shoulder, trudging out of the room after nodding once at the boy’s scared roommate. “When was the last time you showered?” Minho prompted, wrinkling his nose as he walked towards the bathroom.

“It doesn’t even matter,” Sungmin muttered, “who would I shower for?”

“Yourself,” he retorted, shuddering, “have some self-respect, man.”

 “But he’s gone,” the voice had dropped, sounding gloomier with each word, “he left me for that Hound. That stupid, abusive, ridiculous Hound,” Sungmin couldn’t elaborate further as he felt his body being tossed to the floor – only slightly gently.

Lukewarm water showered down on him, jolting his senses immediately. He looked up, seeing Minho staring down at him, water soaking through his hair and clothes. Both arms were fully extended, pressing into the shower stall wall. “He was never your world, Sungmin,” Minho stated carelessly, head shaking back and forth slowly. “You’re so much more beyond Kim Ryeowook. I don’t understand why you can’t realize that.”

“Obviously I’m _not_ much more than Ryeowook,” Sungmin exclaimed, eyes straining as he gritted his teeth. “I’m a fucking _nobody_. I don’t have anything but him—”

“—WOULD YOU _SHUT UP_?!” Minho roared, punching the tile only to feel it chip under the power. “You’re just _moping_ around like the fucking _world_ has just ended! Guess what, Sungmin? It’s still spinning and the whole, damn, fucking fuckery of the fucking fuckers is still fucking up and down and around so suck it up, get off your ass, and shitting take your pride back, you little wimp!”

Sungmin clenched his fists. “Who are you to talk to me like that? What makes you think you’re so much better than me?” he shouted, but soon they had turned into sobs and then the boy was pulling his knees up to his chest, fingers loosening and tangling in his sopping hair. “Who do you think you are? _Who do you think you are?_ ”

For a while he was quiet, watching the crumpled figure shake under the shower’s rain. “…I’m your friend, Sungmin,” Minho finally said, crouching down and shoving the hands covering the other’s face, “I care about you. I don’t think I’m better than you. I do, however, think it’s about time you stop thinking about the past. It’s over. You can’t just freak out forever. You can’t keep crying and telling yourself that everything has gone to hell.”

He didn’t answer, only continued heaving and whining.

Minho sighed and toppled down, grabbing Sungmin and pulling him to his chest. “I fucking swear you’re not allowed to cry over Ryeowook again after this.” He rubbed the boy’s back, closing his eyes and nodding gently to the jumble of wails and regrets. “Get it all out now, or else you’ll never get to again,” he muttered, squeezing Sungmin slightly.

“O-Okay…,” the latter cried, gripping Minho as if he were the last lifeboat, the last survivor, the last of everything and anything.

You could say it was out of the one-sided love, but Minho would disagree. There was a lot more friendship in his actions than ulterior motive. If he wanted to be the “Rebound Guy” then he would’ve already made a move.

Helping Sungmin get back on his feet was a friend’s job, especially when it was the ex-lover who had knocked said-friend down. Minho wanted to be helpful, even once. After all he had done for Ryeowook and Taemin over the years he was beginning to realize, just maybe, he enjoyed helping people.

 

* * *

 

 

The last of the tears dried and the tall boy breathed a sigh of relief, shifting around under the still pouring water. Sungmin blinked up at Minho, eyes puffy and red. No words were exchanged instead they silently separated with Sungmin staying to properly wash himself.

Minho awkwardly walked to Dongwoon’s room, knocking on the door. A moment later, a sleepy looking boy appeared, eyes only half open. “Can I borrow some clothes?” Minho prompted, staring up at the surprised face.

They weren’t exactly friends, but Dongwoon _was_ the Vice President. He was just naturally friendly and when a student came by with freaky, dripping clothes at nine in the morning on a Saturday, you have to worry.

“What’d you do?” Dongwoon mumbled, opening the door wider to allow the dripping wet teen into his home. On one of the beds, Minho noticed Mir sleeping quietly, brown hair a tuft peeking out from the blanket.

“Do you guys sleep in the same bed?” Minho questioned casually as he tugged off his shirt and patted his body dry with the offered towel.

The other boy suddenly smiled, softly, breathtakingly. “Yeah, we do.” Okay, so perhaps their circles ran a bit too closely. Dongwoon rubbed his eyes and yawned, trying to wake up a bit.

Minho smiled in return, leaving the silence to speak. As far as he could tell, Taemin wasn’t bothered by anything those days. Then again, he was also spending an extended amount of time at Key’s place. What was that about?  

He pulled on a borrowed pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “I’m taking Sungmin out,” Minho stated.

“You mean like kill him?”

“No,” he retorted in confusion, “I meant I’m taking him out for some fun. Why would you…never mind.”

Dongwoon chuckled and followed Minho back to the door. “I hope he feels better. He and Ryeowook are making the play this year really difficult to produce,” he teased, and then again, maybe it wasn’t really a joke.

“Ah, I will,” the still damp third year nodded, “Thanks for the stuff, vice.”

“No problem,” he mumbled, closing the door and appearing to go back to sleep.

Minho was only halfway down the hall when he saw Sungmin coming out of the shower with only a towel to cover himself. Gulping, he walked over to the seemingly tired and freshly washed boy. “Feeling better?” Minho inquired, slipping hands into pockets.

“…yeah. A little,” Sungmin glanced at him, a small smile touching his lips, “I guess.”

“We’re going out, so get changed,” he grunted, trying to fight the heat racing up his neck.

“Is that right?” the barely clothed one murmured, “hold on…” and then he headed back to his room, shutting the door.

Minho waited patiently outside, expecting Sungmin to lie. However, just as he was considering busting down the door, a remarkably cute-faced, black haired beauty came out, tousling some wet locks of hair out of his eyes. “You’re really listening to me?” Minho asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Well,” Sungmin drawled, “I thought about it while I was showering and figured that maybe ‘the whole, damn, fucking fuckery of the fucking fuckers is still fucking up and down and around’ so, I think, I should join them.”

“Oh…,” he cast his eyes down, awkwardly trudging alongside Sungmin, “sorry…I was just really upset. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No. It’s okay.”

Minho looked up to see Sungmin gazing at him blankly – borderline honestly. Looking back down, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “We should hurry up. _The North Star_ is only gonna be here for a little longer.”

“ _The North Star_?” Sungmin repeated, finding that name oddly familiar.

“Yeah, don’t you remember?” he chuckled, “Well, maybe not. It was way back in our first year so I guess you wouldn’t recall. That’s the name of the cabbie that comes around—”

“Oh!” Sungmin clapped his hands together, a light shining in his eyes. _“He’s the ‘North Star’,” Minho answered, “He comes here at a certain hour every Friday and Saturday and is only willing to take one car load of people off campus, for a price. If you can’t meet his price then you’ll be stuck. He’ll only wait for ten minutes max before going back to work in the city.”_

“Got it?” Minho smiled.

“Yeah…,” he trailed off, a flood of other memories coming back as well. That night was the first time he… “You know,” Sungmin began, catching the taller boy’s attention, “my impression of you changed a little that night.” Of course he wanted to talk about Ryeowook, not Minho. But he had a feeling that if he even mentioned the fantastic, adorable boy, his face would be bitten off by a certain handsome person.

Minho cracked a smirk, “How so?” He still remembered everything that had ever happened between him and Sungmin. It was like a broken reel, a _wonderful_ , broken reel. But what was he referring to in particular?

“I…realized maybe you weren’t a bad person,” Sungmin said carefully, seeming to pick his words without ease, “and although it was a little shallow, I was happy that you complimented that pink sweater.”

“You didn’t show it,” he replied, frowning teasingly.

_“…You’d look good in it,” and then he was leaving the store._

_Sungmin gazed after Minho, befuddled. But…a smile crept over the slender boy’s face and he held the pink material close to his chest. “Thanks…,” he murmured to the receding figure._

Sungmin just smiled – a smile that felt just like back then.

***

Sometimes, people say they’ve taken a trip down memory lane, yet only then did Sungmin really understand and _feel_ for those words. He was walking down the street and although it was daylight, he could still see the store from three years ago.

His eyes trained in on the night he was browsing through those racks. He was watching Minho come up behind him and kiss his ear and hug him as if there was no one around. But then they were breaking apart, and Sungmin was smiling after the boy. The faces were fuzzy…probably younger. What had they all looked like back then, anyway?

Sungmin tugged on Minho’s arm, “Can we go in there?”

“There?” Minho’s eyes flashed with nostalgia and he laughed, nodding. “Sure.” They shuffled inside and Sungmin felt his eyes being drawn to a pair of pink pants. Minho followed the gaze and rolled his eyes. “Holy fuck, how many pink things do you own?”

The shorter of the two frowned in annoyance, “Not a lot…I just like pink.” He grabbed the pants off the rack and walked off to the changing room.

Minho suppressed a chuckle, waiting patiently outside. A minute later, Sungmin reappeared in tight fitting pink jeans. They followed the boy’s shockingly curvy legs, hugging every single perfect, jealousy-worthy line.

“Your girlfriend is really pretty!” the store employee remarked, smiling. “Those pants are really popular with the younger kids.”

They blushed, looking at the naïve woman. “Uhm…thanks,” Sungmin mumbled, not willing to admit that he was a boy.

“Yeah, she’s really gorgeous,” Minho played along, hiding a smirk.

“Oh hush!” Sungmin hissed, glaring.

The woman simply laughed and headed off to continue her work.

“You wanna buy it?”

Sungmin stomped back into the changing room.

 

“What’s that?” Minho asked, pointing across the street. They had been roaming around, visiting old places and new places without much thought. It was just nice to be outside. He wasn’t sure how Sungmin was feeling, but it looked like the kid was cheering up…even if it was only temporary.

Had everyone seriously put too much faith in Sungmin’s ability to pick himself up? Minho felt a pang of anger. If anyone watched Sungmin closely, it was him. How had he been so oblivious to the boy’s crumbling character?

“It looks like a grand opening or something,” Sungmin replied, squinting at the hoards of teenagers outside of the multi-floor building, “what’s it for?”

“Wanna go?” Minho prompted, nudging his head towards the waiting crosswalk.

“Sure,” he shrugged, jogging across the busy intersection and slowing down in front of the looming building. Up close, he could see what all the fuss was about. “It’s a new gaming center.” Sungmin grinned suddenly, but it didn’t quite touch his eyes, “Looks like it’s free too!”

“Free? That’s the best,” Minho agreed, finding the end of the line and waiting for the doors to open. “I didn’t know you liked video games though.”

Sungmin paused and then said, “I don’t mind them. They’re mindless which is nice.” The last thing he wanted was an activity that made him mope about Ryeowook again. All day he had gotten a great filling of memories, but they were mixed memories. The kind that made him see other people and friends around. Sometimes, he could see him and Ryeowook when they were just friends and a part of him would think: _hey…maybe we could be like that again._

Not having his love was one thing. Not having him at all was an entirely different deal. Sungmin sighed under his breath.

Was that how Ryeowook had felt when Kyuhyun left? Even now people were unable to see what Sungmin and Ryeowook had together. They made it sound fake and although he knew Minho was only trying to cheer him up, it hurt a bit.  

So what if he didn’t have a long history with Ryeowook? Did they mean they couldn’t have the same feelings as…? He needed to stop thinking. He needed to just shut up and stop drowning in his own misery. It just wasn’t any good. Minho had simply been the only one to say so.

“C’mon,” the handsome boy grabbed Sungmin’s arm, pulling him inside the large facility.

The latter shook his head, allowing Minho to lead him. He wanted to let someone else take care of things. He would let it all go…if even for only a bit.

 

* * *

 

 

They stumbled out of the gaming center several hours later, laughing whole heartedly and chattering obnoxiously. Some people stared at them but most others ignored their presence. It was just some kids being crazy, nothing new.

Sungmin punched Minho’s shoulder affectionately, while his other hand clutched his pained side. “I can’t believe you lost to that little girl!” he exclaimed, shaking with uncontained giggles.

“Shut up!” Minho retorted, unable to help the laughter pouring from himself, “I would’ve beaten her but did you see that scary-ass guy with her? I bet I would’ve gotten beat up in the back alley!”

Their blabbering didn’t cease as they staggered down the sidewalk, trying to hurry back to the cab before it left without them. Minho had had the brain capacity to keep track of time. They were just rounding the corner and in sight of the _North Star_ when Sungmin felt the boy beside him slow down.

“W-What’s up?” Sungmin breathed, trying to control the meaningless laughter. It was all jus the aftermath, the extra energy that needed to be released. His eyes trailed after Minho’s gaze and he too sobered up.

“Key…?” he mumbled, watching his lover amble down the street with Jonghyun. They weren’t quite holding hands, nor were they quite cheating. But Minho could feel it when he saw them turn to one another. Jonghyun and Key’s eyes were simply drawn to each other, absorbed in whatever they were conversing about. Minho’s ability to read the air had always been a point of internal bragging, but now, he sort of wished it didn’t exist.

Sungmin took Minho’s hand, looking up at him, “Hey, it’s probably not what it looks like. They’re not even holding hands or anything—”

“—no it’s okay,” he interrupted, still staring at the two people just a few feet in front of them, “I’m not…upset. Not really, at least.”

Just then, the pair of college students turned around, faces falling when they saw Minho and Sungmin watching them so blatantly. Key pushed away from Jonghyun so fast it looked like he was about to fall over. The latter saw the action and Minho just had to smile knowingly when he saw hurt and betrayal race across Jonghyun’s face.

“H-Hey!” Key called, hurrying over to try and brush off whatever chemistry had been bubbling between him and his roommate.

Minho moved back, taking Sungmin with him. Their hands were, Sungmin thought with great dread, locked and laced.

“What’s going on…?” Key asked, eyes clouding as he glanced down at his lover holding someone else’s hand. “Minho?”

“I guess we’ve both been lying,” he said, “I mean, as you can see, I’m not exactly being very loyal, Key.” Minho waved the interlocked fingers. “You probably saw it coming though right? I’ve always been like this.”

Key’s palm left a searing streak where he struck Minho’s cheek. Tears shook his flaring eyes. “What the hell? Obviously you’re lying! You’re _always_ lying! There’s nothing going on between Jonghyun and me, so stop being stupid and let go of Sungmin’s hand!”

“Minho…,” Sungmin whispered, heart racing at the escalating fight, “just—” but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“—I love Sungmin, so stop calling me a liar!” Minho yelled, letting his eyes fall to where Sungmin was staring up at him. “I…love you. That’s the truth.” He swallowed hard, taking a careful breath. “Key, I’m saying I love someone else. So…let’s stop playing. We don’t need to anymore.”

“I don’t believe you.” Key shook his head, “If you really love someone then you won’t idly stand back. I _know_ you, Minho. You’re not that passive. You would’ve tried to get Sungmin way back when you first realized it. By the way you’re speaking it sounds like you’ve been keeping it a secret.”

Jonghyun came up beside Key then, entire disposition screaming confusion.

“Look—”

“—Prove it.”

Minho blinked, surprised by the proposition. “Prove it?” he repeated.

“Yeah. Show me that you love him. Tell me why you love him.”

Sungmin stepped between them then, eyes still wide with shock. His voice came out mechanical, “We really need to go. I’m sorry. We’ll meet you tomorrow and finish this all.”

There wasn’t a chance to argue as Sungmin snatched Minho’s hand, dragging him down the street as fast as possible. He wasn’t thinking straight and the longer Key rambled, the harder it was to absorb everything.

Oh, and they didn’t want to be stranded in the city overnight. That was definitely a bad thing.

They tumbled into the backseat of the _North Star_ and caught their breaths. Minho was the first to recover and he turned to Sungmin. “Why the fuck did you just do that?!” he exclaimed. “Now Key’s gonna have even _more_ reason to bitch at me!”

“Well sorry for trying to help!” Sungmin snapped, “We couldn’t just run away without telling him clearly…everything.” He blushed, the confession beginning to take its toll.

Minho fell silent as well, only starting to regret his rash outburst. It was even worse than that night they were trapped in the basement. This time he couldn’t lie. There really was no way out.

Was this what he wanted?

If he had really wanted to tell Sungmin how he felt, how come he felt regretful now?

“You…what you said back there…,” Sungmin couldn’t finish the sentence, instead covering his face and looking out the window.

Minho sighed, deciding there really was nothing else he could do but keep telling the truth. Lying for so long had really messed him up. It never felt like such a bad thing to keep his feelings hidden but now, as he tried to say them out loud, he was finding it exceedingly difficult to make sense of it all.

Of course he knew how he felt…but expressing it had never been part of the deal.

“I,” he paused, scrambling to find better words, “you…well…”

Sungmin was quiet for only a second. “Where’s the smooth talker?” he mumbled softly, nudging at a joke.

Minho flushed in the dark, dropping his head. “Be quiet…,” he chuckled humorlessly, “this is hard for me…I was never planning to tell you.” Speaking without thinking seemed to be working. Maybe he would just say what he wanted.

He had already confessed right? Was there any need for flowery language and sweet embellishments? That’s what all those stupid romance movies called for. There was a lot of staring into each other’s eyes and crying too.

What the hell was wrong with them?

 _Oh whatever._ Minho continued staring at the patch of dirty floor beneath his sneakers. “I didn’t want you to know because I knew you wouldn’t believe me. I couldn’t tell you that I’m in love with you because you would say I’m just trying to pull something. Oh my god, I thought I could do this but I can’t.” He groaned into his hands, head spinning from the too fast events.

Life was fast wasn’t it?

It really would never be like the movies. When he was with Sungmin, he knew just how different the real world and a movie were. They couldn’t start out hating each other and then fall in love within the course of a time-elapsed 180 minute video.

“How long?” Sungmin asked softly, not really thinking as he spoke. Everything was coming off reaction based and he couldn’t really give a better reason than the fact that adrenaline was making his blood pound hard in his ears.

Minho muttered, “Since the night you told me about your story.”

“That’s…a long time.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“What are you going to do about Key?”

“I’m not sure. You sort of killed the mood.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

They fell into silence.

Sungmin bit his lip, considering his options. There were so many things that could’ve been done or said… “We’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“We?”

“Yes, we.”

Minho finally lifted his head as the taxi parked in front of the school. “Are we still friends?” he asked quietly, feeling a bit pathetic for needing reassurance.

“We’re still friends,” Sungmin replied, flashing a smile, “thanks for today. I really do feel better.”

“I’m glad,” he nodded awkwardly, “so…see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

And then they were out of the car, sprinting in opposite directions to their dorms.

_I need to breathe…_

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, the pair found themselves at the university, and then in front of Key’s apartment door. Minho hadn’t spoken almost at all and avoided looking at Sungmin. On the other hand, Sungmin was beginning to get miffed at the cold shoulder treatment. Who was the one who confessed? Shouldn’t _he_ have been the weird one, not Minho?

“Come in,” Jonghyun said, opening the door.

“Thanks,” Sungmin replied, leading the way in. He immediately locked eyes with Key who was pacing relentlessly in the living room. Wincing, Sungmin approached him, feeling as if one misplaced step would send him into a chasm of fire. “Good morning…”

“Last night he confessed to you,” Key snapped, getting straight to the point, “isn’t that obviously a lie?”

Sungmin’s mouth opened and closed silently, words unable to take shape.

Minho sighed, coming between them and saying, “He really doesn’t know anything so stop pestering him Key. Look,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I’ve never spoken this much about…my own issues, I guess you could say. I’m not good at this but I didn’t sleep at all last night and that’s because I want to tell you the truth.” He listened to silence and then breathed a small sigh of relief that Key would actually hear him out.

“You asked me last night why I love him,” Minho couldn’t look at Sungmin but he could feel a pair of eyes scorching his backside, “and I just couldn’t figure out how to prove it. So, here.” He took out a well-worn folded piece of paper, and slowly unfolded it. “Damn, this feels dramatic.” _And just last night I was thinking life couldn’t feel like a movie_. He glanced at Key and hid a smile. _Maybe it’s because of Key…he was always good at making drama._

Minho couldn’t believe he was about to do this. But then…he just had to do it. Speaking had already proven useless and this was his last resort. “I wrote this back in February but I never sent it,” he explained, now unable to look at anyone in the room.

Taking the paper in both hands, he parted his lips, “Dear Sungmin, I just wanted to write this because I needed to. I’ll never send it though. I know you’re happy with Ryeowook. Hell, I’m happy to see you two together after all the stuff that’s happened over the years.”

He shifted on his feet, “But we’ve been through stuff together too. I feel like you just can’t see it. Even though you and I were in the exact same position you just couldn’t open your eyes and turn to see me standing right there…,” Minho caught his breath, feeling his face on fire, “I was looking at you and cliché as ever, you were looking at Ryeowook. I mean…why couldn’t you tell that I really liked you – then and now?”

“Fine, I’ll admit that I didn’t help myself by playing around so much and that whole sleeping with Taemin thing was just bad on my part. But the other times, the times when it was you and me,” he finally dared a look up, only to see Key’s somber expression.

He turned back down to the letter, “What about when we went out to the city that one night shopping? I’ll never forget when I stumbled upon you looking at that pink and white striped sweater. I thought ‘Damn…he’s so cute.’”

“You never let your guard down so seeing that was just…great,” Minho coughed, clearing his throat and trying desperately to stop the trembling, “And then afterwards when you trusted me with your story? I still stay up sometimes thinking about it. Did you ever tell Ryeowook about it? Did you ever trust anyone else with that history? I don’t think you did. I hope you didn’t. I really like being the only one who knows.”

“…The saddest part though is that I can’t be with you. As much as I’d love to steal you from Ryeowook I couldn’t do that to either of you,” he heard his voice crack and could only miserably continue, ignoring the embarrassing hoarseness, “Plus, I doubt you would go down without a fight. I wonder if you two are meant for each other. I’m betting you don’t believe in that quiz thing.”

Minho was beginning to regret reading the entire letter.

With each word, he ended up sounding more and more like a bastard. “…I do though,” he recited softly, “…Then again, I’m praying you would someday realize that it’s not bullshit. It could be real. Our percentage could be more than just a statistic. We could make it real.”

“As for Key…,” he saw in his peripheral vision Key stiffening, “well, I do love him. I loved him a long time ago too.” Minho lowered the letter, knowing the last lines like the back of his hand. “But as a lover, I’d take you in a heartbeat, Sungmin.”

“…He and I were sweethearts but when I’m with you, I know we’re soulmates. A soulmate means a lot more to me than a first love. Key will always be important,” Minho took a chance, a leap of faith, and turned around to meet Sungmin’s eyes for the first time all day, “…but he’s not you.”

And then Minho was crouching low to the ground, groaning in embarrassment. He couldn’t believe he just said all of that. It wasn’t even to Sungmin! It was to freaking Key! The confession was because of Key too! Why couldn’t everything just stay as it had been? Now literally everything was out in the open and Minho couldn’t remember another time where he felt so vulnerable.

No one said anything, not until Minho stood up again after a solid five minutes and looked around. He met Sungmin’s stunned gaze and nodded him towards the door. The dark haired boy practically ran for it, apparently the only other person in the room with some shame.

Minho walked up to Key, deciding there really was nothing left to lose. He had just bared his soul to the whole fucking room – of three people – but still! “You and him are nice together,” Minho remarked, smiling in that way that made people swoon, “so…goodbye Key. For real this time, right?”

Slowly, he lowered his eyes, “Should I thank you?”

“Nah,” Minho grinned, “I think you helped me…y’know, tell the truth.” _For once in my life…_

“I’m not sure how good of an idea that was,” Key mumbled.

“It’s better now,” he insisted, “because nothing was happening before. Now…well, it’s my fault if it goes to hell.” Minho laughed quietly, leaning forward and kissing his now ex-lover’s cheek, “Have fun.”

“It’s really done this time?”

Minho nodded.

Key broke into a half-hearted grin, “Have fun, too.”

***

He found Sungmin sitting on a bench just outside of the apartment complex. The boy was looking down thoughtfully or perhaps blankly. It could be difficult to decipher sometimes – especially when Minho was too dazed with the whirlwind truths.

“Hey.”

Sungmin peered up. “Hi.”

“What are you thinking about?” Minho asked, “Ryeowook?”

“No, you.”

His heart skipped a beat.

“I’m not sure which one is better though.”

His heart sunk.

Sungmin leaned his head back, eyes closing. “If I don’t like you like that, are we still friends?”

“You said so yourself last night,” Minho answered, “’we’re still friends.’”

“Good.” He stared up at Minho who was standing over him. “If I someday like you like that, are we still friends?”

“Friends…but with benefits.”

Sungmin rolled his eyes, getting up and stalking off.

“Oh it was just a joke!” Minho called, laughing and beaming.

 


	42. Chapter 42

He stood up, taking Ryeowook’s hand in a firm grip. “Are you positive, Ryeowook? There’s no real way to turn back now.”

“I realize that, sir. And…I’m okay with this.”

“Then it was good meeting you. Please take care,” he bowed slightly and then released the boy’s hand.

Ryeowook bowed once more on his way out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

***

It took two hours to get back to the campus, and by then the Dining Hall had already closed and the students were lounging around with full stomachs. Ryeowook sighed sadly, holding his grumbling tummy.

Turning away from it all, the StudGov President shuffled off to the Honors Dorm, hoping to just fall asleep fast in hopes of killing the hunger pangs. Ryeowook forced himself to drop his hand clutching stomach, and shove it casually into a pocket. There was no reason to worry people by looking like a starved man.

He loosened his tight tie and unbuttoned the top of his collar. The air was thick with summer and sweet scents of that indescribable smell, the one that made summer so uniquely…summer. Ryeowook smiled, breathing deeply. It was undoubtedly refreshing.

The smells faded as he strode inside the dormitory and found Kyuhyun sitting on the couch. Ryeowook’s heart skipped. “Hey Kyu,” he stammered. It was a habit proving hard to kill. Even though they had officially been dating for months now, he couldn’t get over the shy, blushing, stuttering phase. Simply making eye contact with Kyuhyun was difficult.

“You haven’t eaten have you?” the latter stated much more than he asked. Kyuhyun lifted up a bag of ramen, grinning faintly.

“No…I haven’t,” Ryeowook giggled, gliding over and throwing his arms around his savior. They toppled over onto the cream colored cushions, the ramen package still tightly gripped in Kyuhyun’s hand. “Thank you, Kyu,” he mumbled sincerely into the boy’s neck.

“Thank me after I cook it,” Kyuhyun muttered, only now beginning to worry about how it would taste. “It might be garbage.”

“We can make it together…or I could just make it,” Ryeowook offered, glancing up to see the attractive boy studying him openly. “W-What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Kyuhyun tilted his face up.

Ryeowook flushed but then hesitantly leaned down, pressing his lips to the waiting ones. “Why?” he gulped, always embarrassed when they kissed in public – even if no one was around right that second it would be easy to drop in and see what was going on.

“Because I want your kisses,” he replied calmly, cradling Ryeowook’s hair with one hand, “and I want your hugs and affections. I want you for everything you always were…and came to be.” Kyuhyun suddenly grinned, “I just wonder if you get it.”

“I think so,” Ryeowook mumbled, nuzzling his face in the other’s chest, “I’m not used to hearing you say those things though.” He opened his mouth to say more but then shut it, deciding the words couldn’t come.

The fingers tangled in his hair tugged him up and then he was locking eyes with Kyuhyun again. “What…?”

“It’s nothing—”

“—Ryeowook!”

The boy jumped, flying off of Kyuhyun’s body. Ryeowook landed on his feet, head snapping up to the person who called him. “Y-Yes?” he croaked, quickly covering it up with a cough.

Dongwoon raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment as he descended the steps. “Have you packed yet? I was wondering if you were bringing your shampoo because I didn’t really wanna bring my own.”

“Huh? Pack?” Ryeowook held his head, brow furrowing as he flipped through his brain for information. Why was he packing? Then, in a flurry, it all hit him. “The Senior Trip!” he cried, covering his mouth in surprise.

Kyuhyun chuckled, smiling in exasperation. “You’ve been talking about it for a while now. You would end up forgetting.” He sat up, taking one of Ryeowook’s hands. “Hey Dongwoon, he has shampoo so you don’t have to bring it.”

“Thanks,” he turned back around, walking up the stairs.

Ryeowook looked at Kyuhyun, breaking into a sweeter smile. “Thank you for packing for me.” He scooted over, kissing his lover with only a slight blush this time.

When he tried to pull away, Kyuhyun caught the back of his neck, tugging him even closer. “What were you saying earlier?” he mouthed against Ryeowook’s, brushing the tip of his tongue across the latter’s lips.

“I-I don’t remember.”

“Is it because of me?”

 _“All because of me?” Kyuhyun repeated softly._ Ryeowook blinked, shaking his head of the memory. _“You’re useless. You can’t even take responsibility for your actions._ ” He stiffened, now pushing away from his lover. Why were those words coming back now?

Kyuhyun forced Ryeowook back to him, eye narrowing in confusion. “What’s going on?” he asked, “Why are you looking at me like I just told you to kill yourself?” His lips parted in surprise, dark eyes growing. “You…but why?” he whispered, wiping away the tears falling down Ryeowook’s cheeks.

“I’m not sure,” the crying boy murmured, unblinking gaze focused on a faraway spot. He took Kyuhyun’s hands, lifting them up to the sides of his face. “ _So don’t even try and use me as a reason for your crappy life. I’m so sick of all your emotions! Don’t you get it Ryeowook?_ ” He flinched, lips trembling, “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” Kyuhyun’s heart sped up, pangs spiking his heart. “Talk to me.” He ran his thumbs across Ryeowook’s tear streaked cheeks as he slowly ran his fingers through the soft hair. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m in love with you, right?” Ryeowook asked quietly. Kyuhyun stayed quiet, watching the boy struggling to work something out in his mind. “… _With_ means you love me back, right?”

He nodded carefully, “I’m in love with you, Ryeowook.” And the simple way those words fell made them all the less real. Kyuhyun tightened his hold on Ryeowook, blood running cold.

It didn’t feel right to say. They were playing house. Why was it like that? “I’m in love with you…I’m in love with you…I’m in love with you, Ryeowook—” Why the _fuck_ couldn’t he say it the way he wanted?

“I know Kyuhyun,” the slender boy forced a smile, eyes warm and gentle…shaky.

 _No. That’s not it!_ He released Ryeowook, getting up and going to the kitchen. “I’ll make you food, so go shower.”

Without further stalling, Ryeowook headed for the stairs, happy to get away.

Kyuhyun ground his teeth, glowering at the counter top. _I mean it…I mean it, right?_

* * *

_Living apart from Ryeowook was one thing._

_Living without Ryeowook was another thing._

“Hey, Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun had spent all night thinking and at that point, he was ready to rip a person’s face off. But not Ryeowook, never Ryeowook.

He thoroughly counted and listed out everything that could’ve possibly driven him to insincerely utter those words. _I’m in love with you, Ryeowook._ A definitive part of him knew that that was the truth, yet the lack of conveyance was frustrating to no end.

And so he sat there…and thought…and realized what had driven them to this point. It hadn’t been Sungmin or Ryeowook. It had been Kyuhyun. He was quite literally the root of their current predicament.

Had Ryeowook begun changing back then – way back when Kyuhyun had yelled at him in front of all those people? Had he bent and twisted and grown because of those harsh words?

_How could he ever explain that he didn’t want the kid, but at the same time he didn’t want anyone else to have him? Or rather, no one else would ever be able to match Kyuhyun._

Did Kyuhyun ever mature though?

_No one was good enough for Ryeowook. No one but Kyuhyun._

Of all the people, had he found his turning point?

“What is it, Kyu?” the shorter boy asked, smiling and adjusting his backpack.

Kyuhyun searched his gaze, seeking some sort of indication that last night had happened. “That day…do you know what I’m talking about?” he asked in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, I do,” Ryeowook answered far too quickly, the mask of normalcy shattering.

“Ah, I figured you would.” He shifted around on his feet before forcing their eyes to meet and saying, “Ryeowook, I don’t know…how to tell you that I didn’t mean it. Because I did mean it,” Kyuhyun’s voice dropped, “but then again, maybe I’m not…there…or here—I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Never mind,” he shook his head, backing away and boarding the bus.

“Are you two okay?” Minho’s voice floated into Ryeowook’s ear. The taller boy was gazing after the disappearing Kyuhyun with curiosity.

“Uhm…I’m not positive,” he answered under his breath, walking away before Minho could ask for clarification.

 

Dongwoon tapped Mir on the shoulder, nudging him awake as the bus pulled up to their destination. A house by the beachside came into view, looking perfectly unprepared to care for a rowdy group of boys. “Wake up, sweetie,” Dongwoon murmured, kissing his lover’s jaw softly.

The slumbering boy crinkled his nose, and then shifted away with a grunt.

“C’mon, we’re here,” the chestnut haired male laughed, pressing his lips all along the other’s throat, ear, and cheeks. Dongwoon reached around, pulling Mir closer by his waist, “It’s time to get up…Mir…Mir…,” he opened his mouth, grinning before biting down on the boy’s exposed collar.

Mir yelped, eyes fluttering open momentarily before falling closed again. “Go away…,” he muttered, trying to pull away from Dongwoon. A small smile couldn’t help but cross his lips though and he brushed his hand across the back of his lover’s, “Go away,” Mir repeated, softer this time, fingertips running over Dongwoon’s hand.

“There’s no one to make me listen anymore,” he whispered teasingly.

“Uh, yes there is.”

Dongwoon turned around to see Kikwang and Taemin glaring daggers at the flirting couple. “W-What? I thought you guys said…” His brow furrowed in confusion.

“Yeah we’re letting you be together,” Kikwang scoffed, crossing his arms, “but we can’t exactly sit here and watch you PDA all over the place. You’re acting like we never liked either of you.”

“S-Sorry?” Dongwoon stammered, slowly retracting the arms he had around his lover.

“Yeah, whatever,” Taemin drawled. “Look, I don’t really care, I just don’t want to see you all over my Mir. It was bad enough when I was still dating him.”

“Your Mir?” he restated.

“He was mine and he’s still mine, because people don’t fall out of love. They only start falling at a different rate,” Taemin recited, smiling slightly at the statement.

“Okay everyone, we’re going to get off the bus now but make sure you all wait outside so I can explain room assignments!” Ryeowook shouted, garnering a bit of attention. Before Dongwoon could help him out, an unlikely voice rose up, silencing the obnoxious students.

“BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO RYEOWOOK.” Sungmin was sitting back down before anyone could make eye contact with him, including Ryeowook.

Mir was at attention then, surprise on his face. “Did he really…”

“…just help, Wookie? Yeah,” Dongwoon finished, mind-boggled.

Ryeowook smiled and repeated his words. “Alright, can StudGov members please come outside and meet now?” He received some confirmatory waves and then proceeded to depart from the bus.

Outside, a strong salty scent caught his nose, sending him staggering a bit. Ryeowook gulped, truly regretting that he’d agreed to the Director’s interactive game for choosing the Senior Trip’s location. Seaside was the last thing Ryeowook wanted to be near, especially in the summer.

Strong arms lunged around the slender boy’s shoulders, sending him stumbling forward. Dongwoon was grinning and laughing, turning his head to look at Ryeowook. “Why aren’t you smiling? It’s summer and we’re at the beach! Doesn’t this make you happy?”

From the corner of his eye, Ryeowook spotted Sungmin watching him soberly, dark eyes wavering slightly. He looked away, unable to face the only person who really understood. “I’m fine Dongwoon,” Ryeowook assured, “I’m just… a little tired from everything. Also I can’t swim so I’ll just stay indoors or something.”

“What?!” he cried, backing away to inspect the preposterous boy, “You’ve gotta be kidding! We’re here to celebrate our last year of high school! How can you just say that you won’t participate?”

Ryeowook saw students beginning to assemble and used that as an excuse to escape the question. “Oh look!” he pointed at the anxious boys and Dongwoon lost focus long enough for Ryeowook to start a directional speech.

“We’re going to be here for two days and one night so make the most of it! You’re free to do whatever you like so long as it isn’t illegal, alcoholic, dangerous, or life-threatening. Be prepared to take responsibility for whatever occurs. The school and the inn we’re staying at will not be liable for any problems that you might come across so have fun but be sure of what you’re doing.” Ryeowook cleared his throat and unfolded a piece of paper, saying, “There are going to be the room assignments. We drew them randomly from a box so if you don’t like whom you’re sleeping with understand that there are roughly ten people in one room so it’s likely you’ll have at least one friend.”

He listed off all of the rooms and by the end he could feel Kyuhyun absolute disapproval pouring out in waves. “In Room Four will be: Cho Kyuhyun, Choi Minho, Lee Sungmin…,” and so on and so forth, but those names were all Kyuhyun needed to hear. “That’s all! Dinner is at seven so don’t be late!” All of the students ran off in different directions, howling and screaming and just releasing the massive energy inside.

“You’ve gotta be kidding,” Kyuhyun’s mouth twitched in repressed annoyance as he walked up to Ryeowook, both of their luggage in hand. “Are you sure that isn’t just a cruel little joke?”

“Sorry,” he replied sheepishly, following his boyfriend towards the inn, “it really was just drawing lots. And it’s only for one night so I’m sure you’ll be okay, Kyu!”

“Cute,” the handsome boy muttered, peering back at Ryeowook.

The latter winced, laughing nervously.

 


	43. Chapter 43

Minho sat down beside Sungmin in the sand. A large umbrella shielded them from the strong sun, and a towel kept Sungmin’s butt clean. The beautiful boy was leaning back on his elbows, smiling slightly out at the ocean. “Do you like swimming?” he asked.

“It’s hot over here,” Minho replied, glancing down at his soaking, tanned torso, “and the water is really nice at this time of the year.” He was quiet for a while, but then gazed sideways at the equally silent person. “You helped out Wook earlier.”

“It’s getting easier,” Sungmin replied gingerly, “two months have passed now…and you’re around to distract me too.”

Minho barked out a laugh, poking the boy with his knee. “Is that all I am? To other people I’m nothing more than a conscience too. It’s like I have no other significance.”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” he chuckled, “it’s been nice though…having someone who thinks clearly around here, I mean.” Sungmin pushed his sunglasses up, black hair fluffing up. “…I kind of like it here. I look gross tan, though.”

“You look fine no matter what,” Minho rolled his eyes, but then paused and looked the other boy up and down, “then again…maybe you _do_ look good all white and smooth.”

“Go back and play in the water!” he exclaimed with a huff, pushing the sunglasses back down and flopping onto the towel.

Minho smirked, pushing his damp hair back before bending down and stealthily kissing those lips. He jumped back, running off before Sungmin could hit him or yell at him.

“Why did you just do that?” he shouted, covering his mouth heatedly.

“Second time since I’ve confessed!” Minho sing-sang, laughing and diving into the water.

Sungmin sighed, cracking a tiny smile before collapsing back on the towel. The first time had also been the second he let his guard down. Maybe he should’ve just stayed alert around Minho from then on. Then again, maybe he didn’t really want to bother – not that he liked the obnoxious boy…well, not quite. “He’s a sweet kisser,” Sungmin mumbled humorously, chuckling to himself. He was slowly closing his eyes for a nap when his heart nearly stopped. Bolting upright, Sungmin stared after the person climbing towards the edge of a cliff. _It’s not the same one…it’s not the same one…_ He knew those words were true, yet there he was, scrambling to chase after whoever was nearing the brink. The beach, location, _everything_ was different.

But some things are impossible to forget…to let go of.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Sungmin shouted, steps abruptly slowing when he realized who was unsteadily traipsing along the rocky surface. He watched the boy turn around, their eyes locking within a moment. “…What are you doing, Ryeowook?”

“Huh?” he shrugged, blinking a few times against the strong rays, “I…was just thinking.”

Sungmin took a few stops forward, keeping his eyes steady. “It sort of sucks that we had to come to the beach, right?” he remarked casually.

“Yeah,” Ryeowook smiled a bit, “I wasn’t too happy about that…are you having fun though?” he asked, a twinge of awkwardness entering his voice.

“A little jumpy is all,” Sungmin answered honestly, hands in pockets, “but I bet we’re in the same boat…or something.”

“No, no, we are,” he affirmed, laughing lightly, “…it’s hard to try and explain to other people.” Ryeowook titled his head back, posture shifting as he studied the edge of the cliff. “I guess I’m waiting for it to happen…maybe I could stop it.” He shook his head, “…I’ve just been thinking about that time lately.”

“Any particular reason?” Sungmin questioned, finding it extremely odd how comfortably they were falling back into conversation. Then he remembered something wonderful. They had been friends far longer than they had been lovers. Time heals everything – no matter how lame that sounds – Sungmin was beginning to realize how true those words were. Given enough days and hours, months and minutes, friends could be friends again – so long as they were the true-type of friend.

The other boy sighed, rolling his neck. “Things are—”

“—Ryeowook!” Mir called, “Sungmin!”

They turned towards the approaching figure, smiling and waving. Mir joined the pair, puzzlement sweeping over his features. Sungmin was the first to ask, “What’s up?”

“I…I mean,” Mir fidgeted, gulping hard and then saying, “I wasn’t – I didn’t know you two were talking again.”

“Only sort of,” the black haired boy explained, grinning tentatively at Ryeowook who quickly returned it, blushing softly. “But more importantly,” the smile turned into a smirk, “I see you’ve started doing something with Dongwoon? How come you didn’t tell us right away? Are we not friends anymore?”

Mir’s eyes widened in horror and realization, “I’m so sorry. I—I didn’t mean it like that—!”

“—he’s playing with you,” Ryeowook giggled, touching Mir’s arm affectionately, “We should…all catch up,” he side-glanced at Sungmin, “because it’s been a long time now.”

 “Tonight?” Sungmin prompted.

“Tonight,” they agreed.

 

And all the while, none of them could see their onlooker’s misunderstanding eyes.

 


	44. Chapter 44

They talked and talked and still talked some more all the while hours slipped by, the sky lightened and the tide calmed with a rising sun.

Ryeowook hadn’t had a moment to tell anyone anything but just those precious hours had cleared his mind of so many burdens. For the first time he had come clean about the stress from trying to run everything, and the university proposition, and at some point, he had even spoken about why he had originally left Sungmin.

It wasn’t a surprise to find that the latter was a little more than miffed. However, it had changed. The type of anger held a different sort of air – as if there was a feeling of long since past. That’s how ex-lovers usually became one day right? Anyone who ends a relationship, platonic or not, eventually come to a point where both parties are capable of bearing already past anger. This miniscule fact had left Ryeowook reeling though.

Kyuhyun…he was the only one who hadn’t moved on. Neither of them had been capable of moving on. Did that make the difference? Was that what set them apart from others? Ryeowook had then recalled the run in with Zhoumi so long ago. If only he had known what really happened there.

It hadn’t been a rekindling romance, far from it actually. They were as Sungmin and Ryeowook were. And that feeling, that ability to return to an earlier time, was absolutely amazing. Ryeowook’s only wish would’ve been that he and Sungmin could’ve found one another again sooner.

Oh, and Mir, of course.

Ryeowook chuckled to himself as he packed up to leave the following late afternoon. How come the most interesting and appalling things happened to their awkward little friend? He was a truly social butterfly when you thought about it. If it weren’t for him, they would’ve never gotten into KUG. Thus, they would’ve never run into Taemin or Minho. And really, without those two people, where would all of them be?

Would Sungmin and Ryeowook still be struggling to figure out what was between them? Maybe.

 Or where would Kyuhyun and Ryeowook be? Would Kyuhyun still be afraid to the point of annoyance? What would life have been like without all of them?

He sighed, “Not nearly enjoyable enough…”

 

Ryeowook counted off heads and then did attendance to double check before giving the bus driver an “Okay” sign to leave. Relieved, he plopped back down beside Kyuhyun. “I’m so tired,” he mumbled.

“You stayed up all night, didn’t you?” Kyuhyun remarked, letting his fingertips idly brush and strand of Ryeowook’s hair. They weren’t talking about what had happened just a day ago. It wasn’t a topic that necessarily _wanted_ to be confronted.

But that was only Kyuhyun’s opinion. Ryeowook…well, he was already beyond it.

Behind them, the slender boy could hear Taemin ad Kikwang yelling and bitching at Dongwoon for doing something or other to Mir. Ryeowook smiled, unable to help the stifled chuckle fall from his lips. “Yeah…but it was worth it.”

“Hey, Ryeowook?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Are you sleepy?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Okay.” Kyuhyun gently kissed the top of his lover’s head, eyes sadly lowered on the quickly falling asleep boy. _In a little while…in a little while you’ll forgive me._

***

The door to the room opened with a _clack_ and Ryeowook strode inside, looking wide eyed and alive. He always had that appearance after a particularly exciting performance and seeing as it would be one of his last times working on Tech Crew, he must’ve been extra excited.

Immediately after the end of their Senior Trip, Dongwoon and Ryeowook had been sent straight back to preparing for _The Importance of Being Ernest_ which was set to open two nights after the ever so important beach vacation. There had been so much to do that the last time Kyuhyun had spoken properly with Ryeowook was…well, not in a while.

Kyuhyun rubbed his lover’s back, gently sliding his free fingers through the fluffy layers of hair. “Were you running around today with wet hair?” Kyuhyun asked, gazing up at the cute face. Slender legs rested in his lap, thinly clothed arms carefully holding his waist.

Ryeowook grinned softly, leaning into the longer fingered hand. “Yeah,” he admitted, “I really needed to get to meetings this afternoon and then I was so busy until now with the play.” He leaned forward, taking a feather light kiss.

Surprise flittered over Kyuhyun’s face, “What was that for?” he prompted, running his lips over the boy’s exposed neck.

“It’s because we’re together,” he answered simply, chuckling as he placed another kiss atop Kyuhyun’s head, “and because I think you look cute with moonlight on you.” _I love you, too. That’s a big part of it…_

The taller boy stifled a laugh, chest rumbling and eyes shutting in suppressed humor, “Since when were you a smooth talker?” Kyuhyun smirked, looking up with shining eyes. It was very true.  

“I just think that it’s been a while already,” Ryeowook stated, “since I broke up with Sungmin, I mean,” he blushed, heart beating faster, “…I keep thinking that you look handsomer every day, so it’s getting harder to keep it all in…” _Not to mention that I’m not bothered anymore._ He hadn’t noticed until after returning to the academy, but now, he didn’t see the past as something to lock away. Freely, the memories flew through his mind, finding their proper places and staying there without hostility or comfort. They were facts, history.

“You think I’m handsome?” Kyuhyun murmured teasingly.

Ryeowook tightened his hold on the other boy’s shirt, eyes casting down indignantly. “Y-You are though!” he defended, pouting. “I really can’t help it.” He felt a shadow fall across his face and then smiling lips found his. Ryeowook’s eyes fluttered open wide before closing again.

Kyuhyun pulled him down to the bed, resting the slender one’s body on top of his. Slowly, he pulled away, tilting his head and bringing their mouths together again. Hands slipped beneath Ryeowook’s thin t-shirt, rumpling the material.

“Kyu?” he mumbled against lips, fingers curling into loose fists against the dark haired one’s chest.

“Mmhmm…,” Kyuhyun hugged him tightly, roaming hands stopping.

Warm wind danced across Ryeowook’s exposed lower back. He giggled, nipping on Kyuhyun’s lower lip. The latter grunted, rolling on top of the smaller figure. Ryeowook gazed up tenderly, smile stretching his lips.

“You’re really bold today,” Kyuhyun remarked, pinning him easily, “did something happen?”

Ryeowook shook his head. “Not really…I’m just growing up, I suppose.”

“You have another show tomorrow night right?” he asked, hovering over Ryeowook.

“Yeah, it’s the last show,” the boy responded, curious as to why Kyuhyun would ask such a thing. He didn’t normally take an interest in the plays or productions.

Kyuhyun nodded and then dragged Ryeowook back down for kiss, parting his lips. They moved against one another with grace, making it feel like the most natural action in the world. Each step was measured and practiced without needing practice.

Their shirts were gone and as they backed up enough to breath, Kyuhyun trailed a hand down to the front of the other’s pants, tilting his head in question.

Ryeowook let his chin dip in answer, body jolting when his jeans were undone and the material slid off. “A-Are we really…?” he met a solid pair of eyes and knew how serious the situation had become.

With Kyuhyun, it would never be simple or sweet. There had to be something more to the feelings swarming their room. Ryeowook just wished he understood because, quite honestly, it was one of the first times he had been so close to Kyuhyun and still at a loss for what the boy was trying to do.

“Are you ready?” he murmured into Ryeowook’s ear, hot breath tickling his neck.

“M-Mmhmm,” the smaller boy moved his arms up to hold Kyuhyun against his throat, moaning softly at the tongue tracing his skin.

Kyuhyun ran his hands back and forth across the smooth skin of Ryeowook’s thighs, trying to remember every line and imperfection, shape and texture. “Will you say you love me?” his voice was barely audible, just loud enough for Ryeowook to hear.

He smiled and kissed the edge of Kyuhyun’s ear, whispering, “I love you, Cho Kyuhyun.”

The boy grew rigid, eyes widening first as warm shudders ran through him, and then contorting with something sadder, more helpless. “Will you tell me again?” he asked, resting his flushed face against the smooth expanse of Ryeowook’s chest.

“I love you more than anyone,” he repeated, smoothing the tousled brown locks tickling his skin.

“Again…”

“I love you, Kyuhyun.”

“Again,” he urged, jaw tightening, eyes clenching shut.

“I love you,” Ryeowook kissed the top of his hair. _Why?_

“Again.”

“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” he softly chanted, “and I’ll say it until you tell me to stop.” _But why are you asking?_

Kyuhyun listened silently to the words, fists tightening more and more in the damp bed sheets. His ears caught the phrase when it turned into a cry, and when it dropped back to a whimper, and then a whisper, and then a pant, and then, as it finally faded with sleep.

 


	45. Chapter 45

He stared down at the caller I.D., the same one that had been popping up all morning and afternoon. Kyuhyun finally gave in as “proper” hour approached.

“Where are you, Kyuhyun?!” Ryeowook yelled, hysterically going off on tangents about something or other. Only a portion of it made sense by the time Kyuhyun heard, “You can’t just sleep with me and then disappear the next morning! Why did you let me wake up alone?!” he had broken into sobs by then, heaving and crying evident across the distance.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, “but I’m not leaving you…not in that way.” Kyuhyun took a calming breath, resting against the brick wall alley outside of a familiar hospital.

“Then why weren’t you here this morning?” Ryeowook sniffled, containing anymore wails daring to pour forward.

“Because I’m Kyuhyun. I can’t be your knight. I’ll never be able to selflessly let you go,” he answered, the quivering undertone unstoppable, “that’s why I left. No. That’s not true.” Kyuhyun shook his head, nails digging into the palm of one hand. “I—I don’t need you to help me anymore. I don’t need you to say you love me when I know that I pushed you into being with me.”

“…Why are talking like this? Kyuhyun, please come back already,” he croaked.

“No, I can’t. Look, Ryeowook,” he swallowed the painful lump in his throat, “this is my one and only gift to you. Use it well.”  And then the call ended, Kyuhyun turned off his phone, and headed into the hospital.

A minute later, he was walking straight into Donghae’s room, ignoring the people telling him that visiting hours were almost over. “Can I stay here for the night?” Kyuhyun asked, ignoring the brief surprise on his best friend’s face.

“That’s against the rules, I’m sorry but you’ll have to—” the nurse on duty answered, only to be cut off by a rather loud beg.

Donghae clasped his hands together, giving the nurse his best puppy dog face. “ _Please_ , just for tonight, will you let him stay? I promise he’ll be gone tomorrow!”

The nurse still looked uneasy about the whole thing. She opened her mouth to most likely reject the proposal but then Donghae was begging again and the woman gave up, deciding his persistence was too much. “If the doctor comes by, tell him to hide,” she sighed, exhausted as the door slammed shut.

“That was impressive,” Kyuhyun commented, lounging in the visitor’s chair now.

Donghae frowned leaning back on the fluffing hospital pillows. “So why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with Ryeowook?”

“No, I broke up with him…sort of,” he replied, wincing at the sound of those words. It hadn’t really been a break up, had it? No. “I figured out that I’m the problem with this whole thing. I wanted to protect you, but the longer I tried, I just ended up getting upset with myself because I’m useless to you, Donghae.” Kyuhyun couldn’t look at the other boy, growing more embarrassed with every confession. “If it hadn’t been for that weakness, Ryeowook would’ve never considered breaking up with that Stupid—…with Sungmin. I just can’t do that to him anymore. I told him that this was a gift. I want him to be…happy. Is that the right word?”

“Probably,” Donghae remarked, “but I’m surprised to say the least. I never imagined you would feel this way. You’re rather possessive if you haven’t noticed, Kyu.”

“And this is the first time in seventeen years that I won’t be that way.”

***

Ryeowook had a feeling he understood what was going on. After spending all day wondering what exactly was going on the past day and a half, he came to a conclusion with the end of Kyuhyun’s phone call.

_A gift?_

The stage lights dimmed and Ryeowook stood backstage in the wings, watching the story unfold. There were so many lies and desires that were acted out before him. All of the characters were trying to reach their own ends through honesty and lying, but mostly lying. If that weren’t the case, why would the moral lesson be _The Importance of Being Ernest_?

He rubbed his forehead, brows drawing together. Once Kyuhyun came back…Ryeowook’s eyes fluttered wide open. With faltering steps, he hurried back to the Tech Shop, searching for a calendar – any calendar, really.

It had slipped his mind all day because of stupid Kyuhyun. Ryeowook spotted a brightly colored paper and hurried over to it, scanning down the boxes to find the current date. Cursing, he flipped open his phone to see a “Reminder” icon…

_“So…do you have any questions for us, Ryeowook?” the middle-aged interviewer inquired, smiling pleasantly._

_Ryeowook glanced down at his fisted hands, slowly loosening them. “Uhm…I’m not quite sure what you want me to say, sir.”_

_“I’m just wondering if you have any questions,” he chuckled, “no need to be so tense. We’ve already finished the interview for the most part and we’ve received great recommendations from Henry Lau. That in itself had guaranteed you a place among our incoming freshmen.”_

_“Oh, I have to thank him again later,” Ryeowook smiled slightly, “but I don’t believe I have any questions for you, sir. There’s no possible way to ask that you open a campus in Korea, huh?”_

_“I don’t believe that would be possible, no.” He pursed his lips, seemingly confused by the melancholy in the young male’s eyes. “Ryeowook, you’ve already been accepted and you’re going to be attending one of the finest music conservatories in the world and you have yet to smile widely. Is there something you’re unhappy with?” When there was no immediate answer, the interviewer cleared his throat and said, “I assure you that this is off the record. Consider the interview over.”_

_Ryeowook noticeably relaxed. Slowly, he shrugged and met the middle-aged man’s gaze. “I have people here that I care deeply for and I’m struggling with whether or not I can leave them.”_

_“If it accounts for anything, Ryeowook, the program isn’t a lifetime. You can be back in Korea whenever you please after four years.”_

_“I…suppose you’re right.” He was thoughtful for a moment, cloudy eyes clearing bit by bit. And then there was a second of clarity. Ryeowook stood up, offering his hand to the man. “I think I’ve made my decision, sir.”_

_“And what would that be?”_

_“You’ll be seeing me at the beginning of July for Move-In Day.” A bright gleam of approval flashed through the administrator’s wise eyes._

_He stood up, taking Ryeowook’s hand in a firm grip. “Are you positive, Ryeowook? There’s no real way to turn back now.”_

_“I realize that, sir. And…I’m okay with this.”_

_“Then it was good meeting you. Please take care,” he bowed slightly and then released the boy’s hand._

_Ryeowook bowed once more on his way out of the room, closing the door softly behind him._

Was there really no time left?

The curtains closed, signaling the end of the first scene. Ryeowook turned on his headset, saying, “Sungmin, meet me at our place.” He removed the piece of machinery before there was a reply. It was an obvious, vague reference. No matter what, Sungmin would know and right then, Ryeowook couldn’t have thanked Kyuhyun more.

Muffled applause bounced against the closed doors Ryeowook passed by, sounding oddly and bitterly familiar. He slowed his steps once he reached the second floor. There was a length of hallway that stretched out before him.

Ryeowook eased his way forward, stopping before a non-descript door. Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and pushed in, finding the light already on. Sungmin had beaten him, as usual. Smiling, Ryeowook carefully climbed the metal ladder, crawling over the cramped edge and dropping into the permanently unseeing Cat Walk.

A huddled figure was watching him approach and Ryeowook couldn’t help but wish that the voices below them weren’t the new generation of actors, but rather the sweet, melancholy voice of Yesung-hyung pouring his soul into the Phantom’s final ballad.

Things were different now though. For one, Yesung-hyung would never perform on that stage again. For another, the play wasn’t a musical and it had just begun, not ended.

“You sounded out of breath,” Sungmin stated, resting his head on his pulled up knees, “why did you want to meet up?”

Ryeowook copied the other boy’s posture so they could look at one another. “I want to break up properly.”

“It’s a bit late.”

“Yes, I know, but I didn’t want to be apart from you back then. Now…I do though.” Ryeowook bit his lip, eyes searching Sungmin’s. “I…wish I could’ve chosen my first love over my soulmate. I wish we could’ve been together for longer and made better memories. I wish, I wish and I wish so many more times that I could’ve shown you how much everything you done for me means, but this is really the best I can do.” He closed his eyes finally, and felt Sungmin’s arm reach around him, pulling him close.

“You’ve shown me enough,” Sungmin sounded like he was smiling but all Ryeowook could do was hold his breath, “just by never taking that ring off. I used to think it was hope for promise but…it’s starting to feel more like a remembrance.” He even managed to laugh, albeit softly, nearly not a laugh, actually. “If we had had a clean break up, do you think we would’ve known all of these things sooner?”

“I’ve thought about that,” Ryeowook admitted, “…but no, I don’t think so. It never would’ve been clean, not if I really mean it when I say you’re my first love.”

Sungmin nodded slightly, “I still think we’re sweeter than you and Kyuhyun will ever be.”

“I agree,” he giggled, toying with the ring on his finger, “Sungmin…I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” He backed away from Ryeowook, trying to see the other boy’s face.

“Henry helped me apply for the same music school he attends. I,” he smiled very faintly, yet Sungmin had never seen such determination in Ryeowook’s eyes, “…am flying out tomorrow.” The way he said it, the way his body spoke, all of it made Sungmin incapable of arguing with the decision.

There was silence as the play progressed and the pair on the Cat Walk sized one another up.

“How long has it been since you’ve decided?” Sungmin asked, really truly, finding no way to convince the boy to stick around. But it was hard to believe that it would end like that. How could it just end like that?

“A week or so ago I confirmed it,” Ryeowook explained, “but I’ve known for a couple of months now.” He pursed his lips. “I really wanted to tell you sooner but until just now, I had lost track of the date.”

 A loud banging noise forced their attention to the stage where a supposedly funny situation was unfolding.

Ryeowook grinned, “This is my last show…I don’t know how I’m going to walk away.”

“You better make it count,” Sungmin answered, returning the grin with less energy, “if this is _our_ last show.” He suddenly leaned over, pressing a kiss to Ryeowook’s lips. When he backed away, he met Ryeowook’s eyes and chuckled, “I don’t mind being your Raoul anymore.”

Ryeowook was quiet at first, but then he touched his curving mouth, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

 


	46. Chapter 46

Kyuhyun checked his watch, seeing the time displayed: 10:03 A.M. The nurse had so very rudely kicked him out at nine even though visiting hours were back. Therefore he was lounging around the city, not particularly wishing to return to the academy and see what Ryeowook’s decision had been.

Instead, he sat on a bench on some street, and closed his eyes for a little while, wishing the world would still for a moment.

***

The sun was warm on his skin, reaching its slow peak. An incredibly pleasant breeze rushed over his skin as he picked up a piece of paper and pen. His eyes moved across the room that had been his home for the past semester and wondered how much he would miss it once Europe became his every day sight.

Ryeowook had just scrawled the first few words when someone knocked on his door.

***

“Hey kid, you’re the one who sang at that street performer’s park, right?” a man dressed nicely inquired, smiling in a friendly way.

Kyuhyun glared at him, turning his head away.

“Have you got the time of day, young man?” the person took out a business card and offered it to him, “I work just down the block at one of the best talent agents. You should come by sometime and we can talk about your career in music.”

“I’d rather not,” he replied flatly, “go away.”

***

Ryeowook smiled at Mir and Sungmin, standing up from his barely touched letter. “I guess I haven’t eaten yet.”

“Going on planes on an empty stomach is good though,” Mir pointed out, only to be elbowed by Sungmin. “Or maybe eating with your friends is always the better choice,” the boy grunted, rubbing his pained side.

“That’s right,” Sungmin smiled while Ryeowook laughed.

***

Kyuhyun ambled through a jogging route, not really searching for something to do. It was more of a way to calm his nerves. There were a number of things bothering him but none of it was in his control anymore.

If Ryeowook decided to choose him, wouldn’t he have said so already? Wouldn’t he have called or texted or in some way shared the news?

That could only mean his gift had been taken. Ryeowook…just hadn’t chosen him.

***

“So what country are you going to?” Sungmin asked, sipping from his orange juice.

“Prague in the Czech Republic, I believe,” he replied, stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth.

Mir copied him, both boys chewing hard at the buttered bread.

“That’s very attractive,” Dongwoon remarked, amusedly. He bent down, kissing one of Mir’s cheeks, “good morning.”

“’Morning,” the boy mumbled, wiping his mouth and chugging down a glass of water, “are you here to see Ryeowook, too?”

Dongwoon glanced at the StudGov President, smiling, “Good morning, Wookie. Your notice for leaving is pretty late.”

“Maybe you’re just not important enough.”

***

He flopped down in a clearing within a park, getting comfortable in the soft grass. Fatigue struck him like a ton of weight. Sighing, Kyuhyun allowed himself to breathe comfortably and clear his mind.

That was all he could do. The obsessive thoughts were literally driving him towards insanity.

Merely thinking about Ryeowook and him and Kyuhyun and all of the things that had happened among the three of them was unbearably stressful.

Facing the facts: Kyuhyun was tired.

***

“Minho!” Ryeowook stood up, running over to hug the tall boy.

“Hey, Ryeowookie,” he laughed, patting the boy’s backside. Minho’s gaze slipped to Sungmin and he smirked, “Hey, Sungminnie. Not gonna greet me…?”

“Why would I?” he retorted, eyes mixing annoyance and friendliness.

“Hmm…,” Minho stepped back from Ryeowook, holding the boy at arm’s length, “I’m happy that I don’t have to kick your ass.”

“I’m happy too,” he responded, flashing a bright grin.

***

Kyuhyun didn’t bother to check the time, basing his guess off the position of the obscured sun. Maybe it was time to head back already.

As far as he could tell, Kyuhyun was calm enough to return to the academy. Whatever the outcome, he would face it because this was the one time he wasn’t controlling anything. If Ryeowook was truly meant to be with Kyuhyun, then that’s how it would be, right?

***

Ryeowook finished the letter, folding it and securing it on the table top with a paperweight. His heart was beating quickly, burning with all of the words that had managed to collect themselves on that single page.

Would it be enough?

Would he understand?

***

Sungmin caught Kyuhyun’s arm as he was walking through the campus. The latter froze, wide eyes darting to the black haired, somber faced male. “Look,” Sungmin began and all Kyuhyun wanted to do was rip away and run for it, “I’m sorry. I know that you’re probably okay with it, but it’s hard to let go of someone like that.”

 _Oh shit…oh no…_ Kyuhyun roughly jerked away from Sungmin, anger flaring in his eyes. “Why are you comforting me? Of all the people, why would I ever want your kind words?” he spat.

“Because I’m Ryeowook’s friend,” he shot back, eyes narrowing, “I hardly think this is the time to be prideful but do whatever you want. I just felt bad because he chose Europe over you.”

“Wait, what?”

Sungmin opened his mouth to say it again but then he saw the honest shock in the normally unreadable face. “You…he didn’t contact you? Weren’t you with him last night?”

“Just tell me what happened!”  Kyuhyun snatched Sungmin’s collar, all of the calm he had gathered earlier, dissipating.

***

The slender boy adjusted his shirt, leaning over to rearrange his suitcase. There were some t-shirts, boxers, pants, and socks – only the necessities until he reached Prague. Henry had promised to take him shopping so he wouldn’t have to bring all of his…well, Ryeowook smiled ruefully, reform school kids didn’t exactly have many belongings to being with.

***

His chest was aching and he couldn’t have felt more ridiculous in that moment as he sprinted clumsily towards their dorm.

_“He’s leaving for Europe today. He was accepted into a university there.”_

Why hadn’t Ryeowook said anything? Kyuhyun gulped down air, ignoring the lack of oxygen reaching his lungs.

***

A small brown box rose to the top as he pulled out a set of pajamas. Ryeowook lifted it up, opening it. Inside were, as he already knew, the little things that made him remember. For a long minute, he simply studied the dried rose petals, and then the artificial flower petals.

Underneath those were two pictures from two dates. He had considered leaving one for Kyuhyun, but then rid his mind of the notion.

Ryeowook glanced down at his finger and after a split second, he slipped off Sungmin’s ring and dropped it into the box as well.

***

Kyuhyun shoved the door open—

***

_“Flight to Prague: Boarding Call! All passengers please report to the designated gate for boarding! I repeat…”_

Ryeowook looked up from his luggage, quickly zipping it back up and picking the duffel off the floor. “Here goes,” he breathed, squaring his shoulders and walking forward.

***

– where he found nothing but an open window, two made beds, and a flapping, folded note on his desk.


	47. Chapter 47

_Dear Kyuhyun,_

_You didn’t say a word to me who walks a different path,_

_You are getting tired of waiting I know,_

_You won’t be able to expect a thing from me who still has a long way to go,_

_I’m afraid that your feelings for me will slowly disappear,_

_Yesterday, forget me who looked away when I saw you,_

_Instead of saying “I love you” when I feel that way, I grow colder,_

_You know that,_

_Today trust me who is being alone by keeping you at a distance,_

_The words that I find impossible to say…that is,_

_“I love you” exactly like the first feeling,_

_Today trust me who is being alone by keeping you at a distance,_

_The words that I find impossible to say…that is,_

_“I love you” exactly like the first feeling,_

_Exactly like the first feeling…_

_When you first wrote this to me, I thought it was about you. But...in reality, it’s about me, Kyuhyun. Maybe you hadn’t intended it, but really, it’s me to you, not the other way around._

_I walked away from you before you walked away from me._

_I knew that you were always waiting for me to grow up and become your confidante._

_I was still ignorant and lost in the world you created to protect me._

_I tried to stay your innocent Ryeowook so your feelings, your love for me, would always stay._

_When you left me, I didn’t fight for you – instead I walked away, I wouldn’t dare meet your eyes._

_I wanted to tell you “I love you” but instead I blamed it on my feelings for Sungmin._

_I wanted you to trust me even though I wouldn’t dare utter the words “I love you” no matter how strongly they resonated._

_The words that I find impossible to say…that is,_

_“I love you” exactly like the first feeling._

_The first time we met I knew it. …And I knew it the last time we met too. I meant it every time. But all of those…all of those can’t make up for lost time. I know that._

_But when we first met, I knew more than your appearance. I knew your soul. I still know your soul._

_You’re my soulmate…into eternity._

_So why are you reading this letter instead of seeing me…that’s probably what you’re wondering._

_I’m still running away from you it seems. I can’t bring myself to be with you. I wish I knew why. I wish I could understand why my heart and soul are warring._

_When you’re near me, or even far away from me, I’m always feeling that first feeling._

_So don’t give up on me. Please don’t give up on me._

_Don’t find someone else. Don’t take your heart and give it away. I want your heart. I want your heart for me and me alone._

_But…why am I saying goodbye?_

_I wish I knew._

_Hey Kyuhyun, when we find each other again, will you still want me? Will you still want to embrace me when I’ve left you alone? I hope you do, but knowing you, you’re going to find someone better, someone who’s smarter, cuter, and more breathtaking._

_You deserve it._

_You deserve someone spectacular._

_Just like Sungmin deserves Minho,_

_Just like Mir deserves Dongwoon,_

_Just like Taemin deserves someone who will know him, for whom he wants to be._

_I’ll be around._

_I promise I won’t meet someone. After all, who could be better than you? No one, that’s the answer._

_If you see me again, tell me that you hate me. Tell me that you never want to see my face again. Tell me that I’m worthless. Tell me that I’m the worst human being alive._

_Just don’t say I never loved you. Just don’t say it._

_Bye._

_Ryeowook_

Then the breeze was blowing, the late summer scents drifting, and the final rustling of one young man’s heart flying away.

 

***

_7 Years Later…_

_Kyuhyun,_

_It’s been a long time, huh?_

_I still remember when I first saw you. Honestly, I thought you were going to be some kind of arrogant little bastard. And hey, guess what I was right about? But I’ll hand it to you, you don’t hesitate. That’s probably the only good thing about you – aside from being some sort of freakish math nerd._

_If you had hesitated way back when, I bet I would’ve never been punched that summer. You’re probably scoffing at me right now. I don’t blame you. After all, the biggest prick of all time is telling you that you’re a bad guy. Seriously, when I think back to what kind of shit I caused you, I wanna ask the you back then to punch me until I blacked out. (Trust me I know how much force it takes to knock someone out.)_

_Right, this isn’t why I’m writing to you though._

_I’ve always felt guilty for taking him away and just…never telling you what happened. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to brag or rub it in your face because from what I’ve seen you did pretty well for a reform school junkie. The reason I’m writing to you is…well, I want to say thank you._

_Back then, the words were on the tip of my tongue but I chickened out and just left everything as it was. As you can see, I couldn’t let it go._

_That’s why I want you to know how thankful I am. Since then, we’ve stayed together. I never thought I would really find someone to spend the rest of my life with but seven years have passed and every morning when I wake up next to him…it’s like falling all over again._

_We never adopted but we do have two dogs and I guess they’re just as good as kids. I hope you like the pictures I attached. They were taken a few weeks ago._

_Hmm…what else is there? Oh! We bought a house a couple of months ago. He was so picky but we ended up moving to the suburbs. It’s understandable though. I’m pretty positive he’s preparing for kids or something, not that I mind. I hear that little chubsters are kind of cute._

_I hope you’re doing well too. And again, over the years I’ve come across some magazines about you. Can’t believe that’s where you ended up! Kids like us can only dream of ending up places like that! But I’m happy for you. And he is too._

_Actually, if he didn’t break down crying every time he tried to write you a letter then the person scribbling these words down wouldn’t be me._

_You’ve got our address now so don’t hesitate to contact us. Our phone number is on the back of the picture too._

_He’d really like to see you again. (My personal opinion is he wants to apologize for leaving without a word but don’t tell him I said that.) I wouldn’t mind seeing your famous, arrogant self again either._

_Bring that cutie your dating too! Yes, I read the articles about you. Don’t judge, brat._

_With lots of sincerity,_

_Eunhyuk_

_Old Man,_

_You did cause me a whole lot of problems._

_It was a long time ago though, so don’t go dwelling all by your lonesome. Pathetic._

_If you want to meet up, then come to my wedding._

_I’ll be waiting._

_Kyuhyun_

_P.S. We’re not dating. Dating is for people who have a chance of breaking up._

_Oh, and don’t call him cute._

 

Eunhyuk’s mouth twitched as he stared down at the letter. “What a little…”

“Don’t call him anything mean now,” Zhoumi scolded, smiling and fluffing their new puppy’s soft brown hair, “He just invited us to his wedding.”

The older of the two rolled his eyes, tossing the letter back onto the table. He circled around the couch, flopping down on the cushions, one arm draping around Zhoumi’s slim shoulders. “Fine, fine,” he sighed, patting his knee in an attempt to get Choco to jump up. The little dog listened obediently, snuggling into his owner’s lap. Eunhyuk yawning, rubbing the dog’s head, “I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful wedding.”

“Well it should be,” Zhoumi murmured, “after all they’ve been through as much as us…if not more.”

“Who is he marrying again?”

Zhoumi smiled down at the puppy, saying, “Oh his name is Lee Donghae.”

 


	48. Epilogue: 7 Years Later

Epilogue – 7 Years Later…

 

“What is this?!” Sungmin yelled, slamming a creamy white envelope down on the table top. His face was flushed bright red, doe eyes vehement.

Mir jumped, looking up at his friend. “I’ve missed you too,” he muttered, quickly adding, “the wedding invitation?”

“Yes, did you get one?” he snapped.

The young man shook his head, but then turned and pointed at the person strolling towards them, “But Dongwoon can bring one guest.”

“Hmm? What about me, sweetie?” Dongwoon draped an arm across Mir’s shoulders, smiling fondly down at him.

Sungmin opened his mouth to continuing ranting when a hand slammed over his face, garbling the words. He flailed for a moment but then turned to see Minho staring down at him rather blatantly. “Is this how you greet your friends after so many years?” Minho questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Mir’s eyes fluttered wider in surprise. What he didn’t voice, Dongwoon did though, saying, “Since when have you been controlling Sungmin?” A smile played on his lips.

“He’s a Psych Graduate these days,” Sungmin muttered, sounding thoroughly exasperated by the fact, “I sort of miss the crazy kid who makes out with people in illegal clubs.”

Minho rolled his eyes, smirking and getting closer to the other man’s face, “I can still be like that if you want,” he licked his lips, “y’know, whenever you wanna go clubbing again.”

The one in question huffed silently, directing his attention back to Mir. In the meantime, Minho idled up behind Sungmin, arms sliding around his waist. He rested his head on shoulder, listening in on the conversation rather quietly.

“Right,” Sungmin cleared his throat, jabbing a finger at the wedding invitation, “did you read the name?” Mir nodded. “How come you aren’t more freaked out? I never thought Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were good together, but…but the story ends with them. It’s supposed to be like that. I can’t imagine him with anyone else.”

Dongwoon tilted his head almost sadly, “Sungmin, it’s been how many years since Ryeowook left? We’ve seen him since then too and I don’t think that things are the same anymore.” He waved vaguely in Sungmin’s direction, adding, “You and Minho are _living_ together. Did you really think that that was even a possibility when we graduated from the academy so long ago?”

“Well,” he paused, itching to fight but finding no way to rebut that statement.

“And did you expect Mir and me to get married after college?”

Resounding yes’s followed.

Dongwoon grinned, cuddling up by his seated spouse, “Yeah, I just like telling people.”

Mir smiled softly, leaning his head on his husband’s shoulder. “Did you expect Taemin to start dating that teacher…Lee Jinki, I think?”

This time Sungmin actually laughed a little, “Actually, with the way he and Kikwang kept getting in the way of your relationship, I figured they would’ve dated.”

“I, in fact, did see it coming,” Minho remarked, only to be elbowed by Sungmin.

“You’re Taemin’s best friend, stop it,” the smaller man frowned, eyes twinkling cheerily nonetheless. He made a face when Minho kissed his cheek, but soon smiled.

“You’re right though,” Dongwoon stated, meeting Sungmin’s gaze, “I didn’t expect Kyuhyun to marry Donghae. That’s pretty weird. I thought they were just friends.”

“I guess we’ll see at the wedding,” he sighed, playing with the card stock for a moment longer, all signs of frustration fading away.

***

Kim Ryeowook smiled uneasily at the man offering him a bouquet of red roses. “Uhm…I’m sorry, really, because I don’t like you like that…?” He internally curled into a helpless ball. Turning people down had never been comfortable for Ryeowook, especially now as they were coming in greater numbers with less time between.

It was only because of his growing fame. All of those aspiring musicians had begun approaching him in hopes of winning him over and hopefully sending their careers sky-rocketing. After all, who better to try and woo, then a cute, young, little prodigy?

“But why? Haven’t we been getting along well at the recording studio? I thought you were feeling the same way,” the man’s voice was rising in volume, the flowers cast to the stone street.

Ryeowook bowed his head in apology, staying like that until the person had had enough and simply stalked off. Sighing, Ryeowook crouched down, picking up the crumbling red roses. They were still fresh and deep red, but…

His eyes scanned them slowly, fingertips brushing the delicate, velvet petals. “…They’re not the same,” he murmured.

“What’s not the same?” YoungSaeng prompted, leaning against the door frame of their shared home. He was gazing down at the stooped, younger man.

Ryeowook shook his head, gathering the abused roses and turning around to head back inside. “Don’t worry about it, hyung,” he said, “is Henry awake yet? He’s been sleeping all day.”

“I can go get him if you want,” YoungSaeng offered, still eyeing the younger fellow skeptically. “Wookie…you’ve read it already, haven’t you?”

His steps faltered and that was all it took for the elder to know he had guessed right.

“You’re not going to intervene? You’re going to let him marry someone else?”

Ryeowook shrugged after a long silence. “Donghae is better than me. I think Kyuhyun deserves him.”

“What bullshit—!”

“—Hyung?” Henry called, coming down the stairs drowsily. “Wookie-hyung? Do we have food?” he yawned, stretching and rubbing his eyes.

YoungSaeng gritted his teeth, shooting Ryeowook a look before going off to collect Henry in a comforting hug. “If you’re still tired, you didn’t have to wake up yet,” he said kindly, brushing some of the boy’s hair out of his face, “Ryeowook hasn’t finished dinner.”

“Oh?” Henry mumbled, resting against the young man’s broader body, “Okay…I get it…”

Ryeowook headed off to the kitchen without anymore words, deciding it would be best to get away before YoungSaeng could badger him again. The broken flowers were still in his hand, and he wondered for a brief moment why he hadn’t just left them on the ground.

It seemed to be impossible for him. Every suitor brought flowers, and every flower, no matter how rare or beautiful, just never tugged his heart forward. They were never the right shade of red, or the correct size…shape…stem length…calyx fullness – just never quite _enough_.

He poured water into a vase, taking out all of the good roses and setting them inside. Then, he placed the flowers on the side table where it would be out of sight, out of mind, but always there.

 

Later that night, Ryeowook stepped out of the bath, only to immediately run into YoungSaeng. He swiftly spun around, steadfastly heading for his bedroom.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and a voice sidled up by his ear, saying, “Let’s go out for a while, shall we?”

“Where to, hyung?” Ryeowook stuttered, trying to smile calmly even as his heart beat erratically.

“Over some countries, maybe a few smaller seas, and a bit of airport security,” he replied easily, “nothing too serious.” And then Ryeowook felt himself being dragged down the stairs, out the door, and into a cab where Henry was already waiting.

He looked around frantically only as the taxi pulled away from the curb and the situation sank in. “No, hyung I don’t want this!” he shouted, now scrambling to open the door and clamber over YoungSaeng. He _would_ be smart enough to put Ryeowook in the middle.

“He’s getting married tomorrow night and you’re telling me that you’re okay with that?” YoungSaeng snapped, pushing Ryeowook back against the seat. “I haven’t mentioned it until now because I kept hoping you would start thinking clearly but all you’ve been doing is brooding over fucking flowers and his magazine articles! If you’re so hopelessly in love with this kid, then you shouldn’t be sitting around acting like it’s any other normal night.”

Ryeowook was silent, trying to figure out what to say to that.

“Wookie-hyung,” Henry said softly, taking the older male’s hand, “it’ll be okay. YoungSaeng-hyung just wants you to be able to have the choice of stopping the wedding. He’s not telling you that you have to.”

“He might as well be doing just that,” Ryeowook muttered, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. “Running away…coming back…ruining his wedding…you really think he’s going to want me after all of that?”

No one answered. It was already too late anyway. They were on their way, and soon they would be on that flight back home.

***

_So don’t give up on me. Please don’t give up on me._

_Don’t find someone else. Don’t take your heart and give it away. I want your heart. I want your heart for me and me alone._

_But…why am I saying goodbye?_

_I wish I knew._

 

Cho Kyuhyun folded the ragged letter up, tucking it in the breast pocket of his tuxedo. “It’s been seven years,” he thought aloud, tilting his head to the high above ceiling, “how am I supposed to keep hoping for you? How many memories do I have to recycle before I can see you in person?”

There were enough pictures of Ryeowook out there, playing his music all across the world, making friends, and producing CDs. Kyuhyun had also seen the handful of articles about people approaching Ryeowook and every time he reached the end of the story, he would smile at the words “rejected”.

But that just wasn’t enough.

In seven years, he hadn’t received one call, text, message, or visit. What was he going to do? Was he expected to wait and wait and wait until he was on his death bed? Would Ryeowook come see him then?

“Kyuhyun?” The door clicked open and Donghae came inside, dressed in a white suit and looking as handsome as ever. “Can we talk?” He asked, coming up to join his friend on the window’s cushiony ledge.

“About what?” Kyuhyun prompted.

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” Donghae blurted.

“Getting married?”

He nodded.

“I don’t have anyone else I’d rather get married to,” Kyuhyun replied casually, “and you don’t one either, at least, not since Kibum back in high school.”

Donghae made a helpless face, clenching and unclenching his hands. “But Kyu, even if that’s the case, we’re both still young…sort of. You could always fly to wherever Ryeowook is and—”

“—and what?” he cut in, “Keep giving myself to him when he already has me? I don’t even know where he lives. He’s always moving around because of his music. I can’t spend time backpacking through Europe hoping that just maybe I’ll catch a glimpse of him!”

“…but…,” Donghae wanted to say more but there was another knock at the door.

A tall, somewhat stressed looking woman peeked inside, saying, “You’re getting married now, so please head downstairs.” And then she slammed the door shut.

Kyuhyun exchanged a look with Donghae. “Why did we hire her?”

“Neither of us really wanted to plan a wedding.”

“…so we’re doing this?”

Donghae hesitated but then stood up, walking towards the door first, “We have a few more minutes so think about it a little more, Kyuhyun.” Then the door was opening and closing for a second time.

But he didn’t think about it. He just sat there, looking down at the guests assembling themselves outside on the church’s lawn…

 

Sungmin gaped, eyes locked on the figure drifting through the crowds of people. “No…really…?” he breathed. Minho stopped kissing his lover’s neck, slightly annoyed at the obvious lack of attention. He followed Sungmin’s line of sight, trying to figure out what could possibly be more important than their time together.

“Is that…?” Minho backed off, getting to his feet. He ran up behind the curiously sight-seeing Ryeowook, sweeping him off his feet in a widely swinging hug. “Shit, it’s really you!” he cried, setting the bright eyed, flushed young man back on the ground. Minho cupped Ryeowook’s face in his hands, smothering his small face in dozens of kisses.

“What are you doing?” Ryeowook giggled, trying to push the overzealous person off. “Minho, I missed you too!” he said, eyes squeezing shut against the childish barrage of affection.

Sungmin tore Minho off of Ryeowook, pulling the latter into a suffocating hug. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you been back in three years?” his voice was muffled in Ryeowook’s shirt, arms shaking.

“Sorry,” he mumbled in a low tone, gently rubbing Sungmin’s back, “I’ve been busy…”

“We’re more important,” the black haired beauty whined.

“I’ll be around more, I promise,” Ryeowook smiled, squeezing his friend once more and he would’ve continued to do so if it weren’t for the appearance of Dongwoon and Mir, and finally, the sound of wedding music starting.

People gathered and seated themselves, anticipating the appearance of the day’s main characters. Ryeowook was the only one who didn’t move though. His limbs were frozen and no matter how hard Sungmin and Minho tried to usher him into a seat, he wouldn’t move.

He couldn’t bring himself to sit and watch it all happen. But stopping it wasn’t an option either. At the beginning, YoungSaeng had convinced him that it would be alright, and that Ryeowook would know exactly what he wanted when the time came, but now the time had come and he knew he couldn’t do it.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Ryeowook whispered, running away again. No one could stop him this time either.

He strode past the bustling people, ignoring their looks and only focusing on that road and his waiting taxi. It had been a precaution. Ryeowook already knew he wouldn’t hurt Kyuhyun – not after he had found happiness.

So he knocked on the taxi’s window, and then opened the backseat.

A hand flew out, yanking him roughly into the car, door slamming shut with him. Ryeowook crashed into a warm body. Long, smooth fingers snatched his chin, lifting it up and smashing his lips against the lopsided young man.

Dark eyes found Ryeowook’s as the kiss slowed and ended. Breathlessly, he brushed aside Ryeowook’s hair, “You can’t use the same trick on me twice.”

Kyuhyun closed his eyes tightly, resting his forehead against the other man’s. “I hate you. I never want to see your face ever again. You’re worthless. You’re the worst human being alive.” He softly left his lips drift across Ryeowook’s, “But because you love me, that’s all okay.”

“Kyu?” Ryeowook cried, silent tears spilling down his cheeks, “Kyuhyun? Kyuhyun?” he curled his fingers in the man’s shirt, pulling closer as he broke into sobs. “Kyuhyun…Kyu,” the name falling from his lips over and over again.

“I didn’t give up,” he kissed the corner of Ryeowook’s mouth, thumb running tenderly across one flushed, wet cheek, “you can’t disappear this time,” Kyuhyun held him even tighter, “you have no excuse to walk away again.”

“Why didn’t you give up?” he buried his face in Kyuhyun’s shoulder, arms tangling around his neck. “You were going to m-marry someone e-else…,” Ryeowook pressed his lips to the inside of the other’s throat, wanting nothing more than to let the past seven years gush out. He craved the scent, and the skin, but most importantly, the voice whispering in his ear.

Kyuhyun couldn’t get him closer, he wanted him closer, but they were already straining. “It was never like that,” he assured, hands searching and seeking the body that hadn’t been around, “it would never be like that.”

The smaller man didn’t appear to really be listening as he said, “W-Will you marry me instead?” he whimpered, “Do you r-really hate me? Kyuhyun…Kyu…,” Ryeowook was whining then, sniffling and squeezing himself to the taller man.

“Give me your hand,” Kyuhyun smiled against his jaw, chuckling when Ryeowook refused to budge. “I love you enough to wait seven years,” he lifted his eyes to the driver, telling him to take them to the airport.

“W-Where are we going?” Ryeowook mumbled, reluctantly loosening his grip on Kyuhyun.

He rearranged the boy in his lap so he could pull out a pair of plane tickets, smirking very faintly. “I’d prefer to go on a honeymoon with you, than Donghae.”

Then he was crying again and running his shaking fingers across the contours of Kyuhyun’s face, eyes memorizing every redefined feature and every long since missed imperfection. Ryeowook lowered his head, lips tugging up in a natural smile. “…Can we really be doing this…?”

Kyuhyun lifted Ryeowook’s face up, “Enough double-fucking-guessing. I know what you want. And I know what I want…now.” His eyelids lowered; a feral grin flashing as he tilted slightly to the right, “Kiss me, Ryeowook.”   

And then it wasn’t about the past anymore. They weren’t struggling to organize their feelings because at that moment, Ryeowook knew that _this_ was the moment YoungSaeng had been talking about. You can’t neatly line up emotions. You also can’t explain certain actions, certain feelings, certain…anything.

That was why, after seven years, they were interlocked not in a world only meant for them, but one that had grown and changed.

There were other people around them now, waiting around, getting involved, making mistakes, and saving them. But then again…

“I’m the only one, Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun whispered, smirking and bringing their lips back together.

…it could be alright to ditch the world for a while.  

 

.END.


End file.
